Sanji's Cupcakes
by Marimo
Summary: Chaos is wrought upon One Piece land as two friends invade, quite by accident. Through their insane antics, the Straw Hat Crew is dragged through multiple islands and are treated to fighting new enemies. Those poopaws. Edited, please read and review!
1. We're Sorry We Squeal

So this is my One Piece fic. Mainly an inside joke between my friend Sarah and I. So I would kindly ask for no flames… or anything of the sort. This isn't anything serious. Okies?

As I type this, Sarah is beating at her pillow with a katana, muttering "Stupid David Moo."

Just so you know, there will be no Chopper in this story. 'Cause. Onto the fic!

Note: This story is dedicated to Sarah. Because she asked for it.

Editted:// Dear god, another self-insert fic? Someone shoot this author now.

* * *

Sanji's Cupcakes 

Chapter One - We're Sorry We Squeal

* * *

Lera was sitting calmly at home, typing away at her computer at night, her two plastic katanas on the table beside her. Outside, it was raining fiercely, thunder, lightning… all that crap. 

"LERA! WHAT'RE YOU DOING!"

"WAH!"

Sarah burst into the room, her kuroneko backpack strapped across her back. Out of nowhere. Lera screamed and fell out of her chair.

"Sarah, where the hell did you come from!"

"Oh, y'know… out of nowhere. The usual."

"Oh." Lera shrugged, going back to typing as Sarah took a seat next to her.

"So what're you doing?"

"Writing a One Piece fan fic." Lera replied, not looking away from the monitor.

"SQUEE!" Sarah giggled, doing a little dance in her seat.

"Yeah, I thought you'd want to hear that."

Sarah grinned happily. An 18 year old with long, glossy brown/ blond hair and blue-green eyes. Not that the color stayed that way all the time…. Due to her constant mood swings. Hyper, spazzy, and illogical.

Also 18, Lera, on the other hand, had light hazel eyes and unique hair. If that's what you would call it. It was strangely wavy, but sleek. It was light, honey-brown, which Lera was strangely proud of. The "intelligent" one, if that was possible. Hyper, spazzy, and illogical most of the time. It was no surprise why these two were friends.

"So what's it gonna be about?"

"Us going to One Piece land!" Lera squealed slightly, her typing finally stopping as she saved what she had written so far.

"I just have one request." Her friend giggled as she went creeping around the room, inspecting sockets and plugs curiously.

"Oh, what's that?" The hazel-eyed girl blinked, watching Sarah.

Sitting up with a cord in her hand and beaming, Sar-hah replied in yet another squeal. "I want Sanji to make me cupcakes."

"Only if Zoro lets me kick his ass." Lera grinned widely.

Without another word, Sarah pulled the cord she was holding, wrenching the plug out of its socket. Instantly, the computer monitor went black and the hum of the processor ceased.

With moan of irritation, Lera turned in her maroon swivel chair to face her computer. She sighed. "Sarah… you should be so glad that I saved the story…"

Sarah smiled innocently, standing. "Sorry, I was bored."

Whatever Lera was about to say, it died in her throat at the sudden crash of thunder outside. Quick to follow was lightning, and something seemed strange about it…

"Sarah… was that lightning blue?"

"I dunno, it looked purple to me… oh my god, holy fluff, Lera, look at your screen!"

Indeed, the screen had gone a strange blue color…

"Woah…" Lera stared at the color, which began to take form and divide into two different colors. A lighter and darker blue. "Sarah… is that… the ocean?"

The two girls leaned closer until, accidentally, Lera poked the screen's surface with the tip of her nose. That is, if there had actually been a surface. Instead, her nose went right through the monitor. Her head followed, sinking right through the screen.

Sarah yelled, running forward. "Lera, no! Give her back… you… you… poos!"

She grabbed Lera's ankles, trying to pull her out as her friend propped her arms against the sides of the monitor, resisting. It turned out to be useless, however, as the screen grew huge and swallowed them both.

As they flew through something resembling the inside of a computer, two pineapple-shaped images popped up before them. Lera and Sarah yelled in surprise, spinning around as they fell, but somehow flew straight through the flying fruits. A strange sensation went through their bodies that didn't seem familiar, but as their brains slowly registered that what they had flown through was the Devil Fruit, the scene around them disappeared.

"SANJIII!" The girls screamed, falling through air. However, the flying time ended too soon as they plummeted into the ocean. And it was cold. Deathly cold.

The two friends struggled in the water, finding that their feet wouldn't work correctly and all previous knowledge of knowing how to swim was gone. As Lera fought to keep her head above water, she found this odd. _I'm on the high school swim team, damnit! This shouldn't be happening! Why can't I swim?_

Sarah was thinking something different. _Oh my god! OH MY GOD! AHH! I'M GONNA DIE!... WAHHH! I HAVEN'T EVEN READ ALL THE ONE PIECE MANGAS YET!_

The pair of them began to slow sink as they actions grew weaker. If they had had the time to, they would have noticed a ship sailing in their direction. A ship with skull and crossbones on the sails. A skull with a strange, straw hat on it. However, neither noticed as they sank beneath the somewhat rough waves. Lower and lower they went, and as their air supply ran out, they vision became increasingly blurrier.

_Figures that as soon as we got transported to some weird place, we die. Pfft. _Lera couldn't help but think.

As Sarah was spazzing out and using up the last of her waning energy, Lera continued to struggle, desperate to get back to the surface. Something that was attached to her waist was, strangely enough, dragging her down. She had no idea what it was. But she found that she had no more strength to rip the weight from her side. As everything seemed hopeless, suddenly, in the last seconds before she passed out, she felt strong arms wrap around her waist and saw a flash of green eyes. Before even a bubble of protest forced its way out of her mouth, everything went black.

* * *

"Hehe, wow, they're pretty cute…" 

"But what are they doing here?"

"They're dressed kinda... odd."

"I hope they're not dangerous…"

"Do they have meat?"

Lera and Sarah softly groaned, their eyes fluttering open as they sat up. Instantly, they toppled sideways, coughing out water from their lungs. Sarah was first to regain her composure as she slowly sat up, wiping her mouth with her sweatshirt sleeve, but that didn't do any good. The sleeve was completely soaked. More feelings registered in her mind. Wet… and cold. She was completely soaked and a disgusting taste of salt water was in her mouth.

She blinked blearily, wiping her eyes with pruny, cold, and clammy hands. Everything around her came into focus, and once it did, she yelped and nearly passed out again.

Around her was the crew of the Going Merry. Sanji was leaning against the railing of the ship, smoking a cigarette. Zoro was not too far off, looking serious while Nami rested on her knees before the two, looking curious. Usopp stood at a safe distance, eying the two strangers, and Luffy sat on the railing behind Lera and Sarah, looking down at the two with a grin.

Lera slowly stood up as well, blinking salt water out of her eyes. The two sat in a puddle of water, soaked to the bone. Lera stared around in shock, blinking blankly, then the two exchanged glances before looking around again.

Wait a minute. Sanji and Zoro!

With loud squeals, the girls jumped from their sitting position on the deck to tacklehug the two guys, who were completely shocked.

Lera and Sarah's speech had gone into excited gibberish as they hugged Zoro and Sanji tightly. Looking at each other with strange looks, the two crew members ripped the girls off of themselves, who, with a squeak, fell to the ground and stayed there, paralyzed with happiness, apparently.

Sanji went to wiping water from his suit while Zoro used his black bandanna. Nami gave Lera and Sarah strange looks before standing.

"Just who are you two?"

"Oh, us?" Lera stood, taking up a dramatic pose, her index and thumb fingers in the shape of "L"… all anime like. "I'm Lera K!"

The K, which she just made up on the spot, stood for katana.

"And I'm SARAH P!" Sarah stood as well, spreading her legs apart with her arm extended in front of her, her hand showing the "peace" sign.

The P stood for pocky.

Water dripped from their clothes as the crew stared at them in a silence where you could hear a needle drop. Not that anyone had a needle…

"And, eh…" Usopp came forward slightly. "Why are you here?"

Luffy's loud voice sounded behind them, causing the girls to jump. "DO YOU HAVE MEAT?"

"We-eell…" Lera started, dropping the dramatic pose.

"You see…" Sarah relaxed as well. Then the two launched into the explanation.

"See, I was just writing my fic on you guys, y'know?"

"But then there was this retarded thunderstorm!"

"With friggin' blue lightning!"

"Fluffin', Lera."

"FLUFFIN' blue lightning!"

"Or purple."

"Or purple."

"In any case, Lera got all sucked into her computer."

"And as we were falling and going AHH!"

At this point, the two of them wiggled their arms and repeated their reaction from before when they were falling through the computer monitor. Lera then continued the story.

"Then we fell into the ocean that we saw before in the computer."

"Our life was flashing before our fluffin' eyes!"

"And our life goes like this."

The girls then jumped to their left foot. "Haitoooh."

Then they hopped to their right foot, leaning back. "Weiii!"

"HAI!" At the same time, they jumped up and landed with their legs spread slightly, clapping their hands together above their heads. As looks of horror spread across theStraw Hatcrew, Lera and Sarah went on with the story.

"That was pretty scary, we couldn't swim." Sarah shuddered slightly.

"But then I'm guessing you guys saved us?"

They paused for an answer. Nami nodded slowly. "Yeah, Sanji and Zoro saw you two and jumped in to save you."

If the crew thought that was the end of the explanation, they were wrong. Very wrong. Lera and Sarah squealed, jumping up and down for a moment with excitement before continuing.

"So then we ended up here, in this One Piece anime!"

"Cause we came from real life!"

"We were just watching that One Piece episode last night!"

"Yeah, cause I slept over Lera's."

"That episode was so awesome!"

"With this lady that looked like a guy called Monday!"

"And Sanji was being all ladies' man-ish." Sarah paused to glare at Sanji.

"And Zoro was being all logical."

"And you were like all... 'I'll fulfill my dream!' "

"And going up some funky mountain."

"And you went to some Mystic Island."

"Where everyone was like 'Yay! Welcome to our island, feel free to get drunk!' "

"And there was this dude with curly hair."

"But before, we were all like… yeah."

"And Zoro, Lera killed you with Usopp last night in Grand Battle!"

"Hey, it's not my fault. He just kept falling over and shooting and you were laughing too much to fight back with Zoro!"

"And Sanji was all…"

"I'm FALLING IN LOOOOVVEEE!" The two girls said in unison before Lera began again.

"And Zoro was doing that ONIGIRI!" She paused to do a kung fu move. "... and... eh… Sarah, what was it called again?"

"Santoryu."

"Oh yeah, santoryu!" Lera repeated with a fast, Japanese accent. Sarah quickly mimicked her and the two girls went to chanting "Santoryu" in the accent, hopping up and down with each word.

With Lera and Sarah in the background chanting and hopping, Nami went to Zoro. "What do you think?"

"I dunno…" He eyed the two girls with a frown, who had begun to sing the One Piece theme song.

"_YO! Ya-yo, ya-yo! Dreamin'!"_

"_Don't give it up, Luffy!"_

"_Dreamin!"_

"_Don't give it up, Zolo!"_

"_Dreamin!"_

"_Don't give it up, NAMI!"_

"_Dreamin'!"_

"_Don't give it, give it up, give it up, give it up, give it up, give it-NO!"_

"They seem to know us, yet we don't know them."

"_Here's how the story goes, we find out 'bout a treasure in the Grand Line, there's no doubt."_

"_The pirate whose eye is on it, he'll sing."_

"_I'll be King of the Pirates, I'm gonna be king!"_

"And I've never seen clothes like that before…" Nami frowned as well, turning to look at the girls.

"_Ya-yo, ya-yo, ya-yo! Ho ho!"_

"_His name is Luffy!"_

"And we don't know what they were doing in the middle of the ocean in the first place…"

"_That's Monkey D!"_

"_Gonna be King of the Pirates!"_

"All we know, to be blunt, is that these two are weird..."

"_He's made of rubber!"_

"_How did that happen?"_

"_Yo ho ho, he took a bite of gum gum…"_

"And they know about Luffy. Too much, to be honest..."

"_Ya-yo, ya-yo!"_

Lera was jumping up and down again, going into the rap.

"_His name's Zoro, he's just like a samurai."_

Sarah grinned, joining in again.

"_And the L-A-D-Y, Nami's not shy!"_

Zoro and Nami, complete with sweatdrops, were, if possible, disturbed even more.

"_Usopp's doing that marksman thing!"_

"_And SANJI'S COOKING FOR THE WOULD-BE KING!"_

Sanji and Usopp blinked blankly while Luffy was laughing from his sitting position on the railing.

"_The pirate crew, comin' through, doin' their thing."_

"_With the king of the pirates, He's. Gonna be king!"_

Despite the crew's distress, Sarah and Lera still went at it, singing off-key, laughing, and hopping around.

"_Ya-yo, ya-yo, ya-yo! Ho ho!"_

"_Set sail for oooone piece!"_

"_It's the name of the treasure!"_

"_In the graaand line!"_

"_Ya-yo, ya-yo!"_

The two girls finished in unison.

"_**SET SAIL FOR ONE PIECE!"**_

A stunned silence fell over the deck of the ship. Everyone seemed to be paralyzed as Lera and Sarah leaned against each other, giggling their heads off.

Nami and Zoro nodded to each other. "They've got to go."

* * *

Lera and Sarah found themselves watching the Going Merry sailing away without them, leaving them behind on a rowing boat. 

Lera sniffed, scratching her head slowly. "Oh man…"

Sarah was sniffling as well. "Sanji left without us…"

"Oh well. We'll find them soon enough. I mean… c'mon, we're in an ANIME!"

The two squealed in triumph for a few seconds before sighing again.

"Alright, let's take a look at the situation. We're in One Piece and have been transported here from my computer. What supplies do we have?"

"Well, there's our clothes."

Indeed, they were still in the clothes they had been wearing before. Sarah with a black Trigun sweatshirt and a shroom shirt underneath, jeans, and blue sneakers. Lera with her plain black sweatshirt and red Nintendo "Yoshi" shirt underneath, dark jeans, and her bright green chucks.

"And we've got our bags. And your two katanas."

"Eh?"

Lera blinked. Katanas? She looked down and, sure enough, there were two swords strapped to her hips, one to each side. So that had been the weight that was dragging her down… she slowly pulled one from its sheath and grinned.

"And they're real. This is getting better by the second. And our bags, you say?"

"Yeah," Sarah nodded, pulling the kuroneko backpack off that had amazingly stuck through with her despite the plummet into the ocean.

Lera found her black and grey book bag beside her. Not bothering to wonder why it was there, she opened it, Sarah unzipping her bag as well.

"So?" The friends look at each other. Sarah went first.

"I've got rice krispies, dew, and root beer. You?"

"My second pair of shoes, more rice krispies, dew, and root beer… my kuroneko wristband… oh, and pocky."

They stared down into their bags for a moment before happily dancing in their seats.

"We're all set to go!"

"Let's go find Sanji and Zoro!"

* * *

Wow. I'm sorry if this confused anyone. And if some of my details are wrong… I tried. Like I said... don't take this seriously. It's somewhat of a joke -grins sheepishly- 


	2. Giddy Schoolgirl Action!

Arr. Here be chapter two. Arr.

I would also like to apologize for any heads that may have exploded from the One Piece theme… xD

I can't think of anything else for this intro. Thanks for the reviews!

Oh, and… I don't own One Piece, converse, rice krispies, Mountain Dew… anything else that will be mentioned in this fic. Thankee.

* * *

"Sanji's Cupcakes" 

Chapter Two – Giddy Schoolgirl Action!

* * *

"So… where do you think we are?" 

"In the middle of the ocean in One Piece land?"

"I mean, besides that…"

The two girls lay on the bottom of their rowboat, letting their clothes dry in the gentle sun that beat down on them. They were too lazy to actually row. Not that they knew how to row a boat. Or where exactly they would row.

Not that they had oars.

A few rice krispie wrappers were scattered across the bottom of the boat along with empty cans of root beer and Mountain Dew.

"How long do you think we've been floating like this?" Lera turned her head slightly to Sarah, who was squished up next to her. The rowboat wasn't that big, after all.

"Holy crap, Lera, how the fluff would I know!" Sarah muttered, staring up at the clouds. She pointed slowly up one of the fluffy things.

"That one looks like Sanji."

"Hmm…" Lera tilted her head, looking at the cloud, and then grinned. "And there's Zoro. See, there's the sword in his mouth."

After a few more minutes of muttering "Santoryu", the two friends shut up.

"So… where do you think we are?" Teh Lera asked again.

Before teh Sarah could reply, their rowboat unexpectedly stopped. Not only did it stop, it scraped along something for a while before jutting rudely to a halt, jolting the girls out of their sleepy moods. They yelped in surprise, quickly sitting up to see what had happened.

It seemed that an island had gotten caught under their boat. A rather large one, too. The rowboat now sat on a beach, a large town up ahead.

"Woah… an island!" Lera gaped, looking around while sitting up on her knees.

"Maybe Sanji came here!" said Sarah excitedly, grabbing her kuroneko bag and scrambling haphazardly out of the wooden vessel.

Her friend followed more carefully, not wanting her chucks to get ruined by the wet sand. She took her book bag along and tromped up the sandy coast. Sarah had already reached the path leading up to the road. Off to the left of them was a huge dock and many ships were already moored there. The harbor itself was crammed with people, from pirates, merchants, thieves, to regular citizens. The two girls blended in with the crowd as best as possible once they reached the hoard, although their slightly different clothes set them apart a bit.

After multiple times where they almost flopped over from the amount of people, they finally yelled "BUDDY SYSTEM!" at the top of their lungs and linked their arms together, storming through the melee of people to an empty spot.

"HERE'S THE GOING MERRY!" Lera eagerly pointed up at the said ship, hopping up and down.

"SQUEEE!" Sarah saw it as well. It was kinda hard to miss, in fact. When there's an odd skull with a hat on... y'know it's the Going Merry…

They scurried up onto the odd sea craft, only to find it empty. At least, it seemed empty.

"Dude, what the hell…" Lera muttered, looking around.

"They've gone into town, then…"

"Oh… crap." With a sigh, they went back to the docks, looking mournful.

-record scratches-

-things explode-

-everything dies-

(( Attention readers. I found the beginning of Chapter Two to be boring despite my frugal attempts to make it interesting at the end. Let's just skip to the interesting part. Go! ))

* * *

"MEAT!" 

(( Wait, hold on…. GO! ))

* * *

"WHERE'RE MY FLOGGING MOLLY CD'S? I DEMAND IRISH PUNK, DAMNIT!" 

On the other side of the island, which happened to be called Nana-Tay Island, a black punk ship was moored in secret. Ooo, punk. Strange chains hung off the black sides of the ship, looking as if they served no purpose at all. The craft, named The Crow 2 Yo, was a ship feared along the whole Grand Line. Supposedly.

And the captain of this ship? Captain Joshu Wa Gorgy. And he was fluffed up.

Tall and lanky, the 20 year old captain was one evil dude. His hair, about to his shoulder, was black, red, yellow, and some other unidentified colors. All in one. The tips were rainbow. To this day, no one knows how he managed to get rainbow. His eyes were frightening as well. Razma-tazma-genta.

He was dressed in a long, black leather trench coat with a black shirt underneath that. And black jeans. To say the least, his outfit choices were limited. In his hand was a stick. It was pointy. Not only that, it was the Icky Stick. Used to beat Icky people with. He prided himself with the fact that it was six feet long, pointed on both ends, and rosewood. Not that anyone cared.

What was most feared however about this evil Captain, besides his eyes and his Icky Stick, were his fearsome knee-high, steel-toed, yellow swashbuckler boots. Used to lay the smack down on punks who were up in his grill.

At the moment, Joshu was not laying the smack down on any punks or beating Icky people with the Icky Stick. He was waiting for his swashbuckler boots to be cleaned by his crew. And his Flogging Molly cd's had apparently gone missing.

"OY! YOU!"

"What?"

His first mate, Emily-ly, looked up from her standing position by the steering wheel. Not that there was any need to steer. It just happened that a table next to the wheel was a convenient place to stack up M&M cookies. Which she was eating. Her shirt, rainbow tye-dye, seemed odd on the pirate ship, but her black sneakers with bright orange shoelaces on one, and checkers on the other, seemed to make up for it.

Joshu scowled, moving closer as his trench coat swished about his legs. Walking was rather comedic when it came to Captain Gorgy. He had an odd habit of having a slight bounce in his step, which caused his hair to bob up and down. "Where're my heavenly Irish Punk cd's?"

Emily shrugged, munching on another cookie as she flipped through a Demon Ororon manga. "Don't know. Whatever. I don't believe in Irish Punk."

As Gorgy was about to flip her off, another crew member scurried up. Crew Mate Kyle.

"Oh, hey… you… um… Joshu…"

"WHAT!"

"Seems Luffy and _Sahhnji_…" Kyle liked to say Sanji's name in a Sanji accent. "And the rest of 'em have come into Nana-Tay. Nate just came in and saw 'em."

Grinning manically, Joshu did a little dance consisting of doing nothing. "Good. 'Bout time we killed off that rubber freak and his posse."

The Crow Yo crew held a grudge against The Straw Hat Crew. Why? Joshu apparently had an urge just to kill. The rest of the crew didn't seem to care, either way. Emily-ly was just in it for the cookies and sugar, Kyle because he felt like it… then there was Larissa, Mike and Nate.

No one is really sure why they're there. Along with the rest of the evil pirate crew bunch that we're not gonna deal with.

* * *

After an hour of wandering around the island, Lera and Sarah found that they were hopelessly lost. What they also found was that they needed a change of clothes to actually fit in. 

"I don't think they know what Trigun is, Sar-hah…"

"Meh, I didn't think so."

The girls threw up their arms. "WE NEED CLOTHES!"

They hurried off to find somewhere where they sold clothes. They stood in front of the clothing shop when Lera, the ever intelligent one, pulled Sarah back before she skipped inside. "Woah, hold on, we don't have money.'

'Oh yeah…"

"Know what this means!"

"SUPER SECRET SUPER-DUPER POOPAW ACTION!" The two friends yelled, scurrying off to hide in a spot where they could spy on the store.

"Okay…" Lera peered around the barrels they had hidden themselves behind. "We need to do something sorta kinda illegalish here…"

Smiling brightly, Sarah replied, "No problem. I do that kind of stuff all the time!"

"I already told you before, Sarah. Petting your neighbor's cat when they're not looking isn't illegal…"

"Oh…" Sarah said, looking crestfallen.

Quick to remedy the situation, Lera changed the subject. "Anyway, we're gonna have to steal some clothes if we're going to fit in."

Their conversation lowered to a whisper as they planned out a secret way to steal their clothes. So secret, in fact, that it cannot be written in this story.

"Right, I think this'll work. Let's go!"

"'Kay!"

Sarah and Lera jumped from their hiding spot, yelling "GIDDY SCHOOLGIRL ACTION!"

Running into the store, they bounded around, grabbing clothes. The one workingat the time, a guy named Carl, watched blankly as the two made whooshing sound effects while they zoomed around the store, obviously pretending to be flying and being all ninja-like.

When Carl finally realized that they were stealing merchandise, he came out from around the counter and went over to Sarah, who was doing something resembling a Power Rangers move as she tried to decide whether to grab commando boots or gangster shoes.

Once Sarah realized what Carl was doing, she whacked him upside the head with her kuroneko bag. "Super yaoi, power up!"

As Carl fell senseless to the floor, Lera whooshed over him to grab a hanger. Because she felt like it.

"Done! Let's go!"

"Wee!"

They ran out of the store, giggling, their arms full of clothes, when something rather solid came out of nowhere, inconveniently blocking their way and causing them to fall over.

The solid object turned out to be the Nana-Tay police. Two of 'em, in fact.

Lera and Sarah stared up at the two law enforcers, then squeaked as they were grabbed by the back of their shirts and pulled up. In the same motion, the other officerswiped the stolen goods out of their hands and tossed them absentmindedly back into the store. One of them began ranting on how they weren't allowed to steal, but the now criminals were too busy squirming and yelling in protest.

"NOT COOL! I'm innocent!"

"I demand an attorney! And some pie!"

"I HAVE NO PANTS!"

"SHE HAS NO PANTS!"

So busy were they, ranting and screaming, that they almost didn't notice that they were being led through the town square, and causing quite an uproar. People were stopping to stare at the two squirming, strangely dressed girls that were yelling nonsense. They, in fact, drew so much attention that Sanji and Zoro, who had been off on their own, met up in the center square, quite by coincidence, to watch the police drag the girls, who they had saved once before, off to jail. Or even worse. Prison.

Sanji smirked slightly, his hands in his pockets. "Think we should help those twogirls out?"

Zoro frowned, as Zoro usually did. "Those are the two women from yesterday."

The two criminals, meanwhile, had burst into song once more. This time, signing "Sakuranbo" by Ai Otsuka.

"_Aishiau futari shiawase no sora. Tonari dooshi anata to **atashi sakuranbo**!"_

"_Lala… something Japanese!"_

"_Amai amai mono desu, yay!"_

"_Anata to atashi SAKURANBO!"_

Sanji and Zoro looked at each other before shrugging and going forward to the two Nana-Tay police men.

Sanji grinned. "Oi, let those two go…"

One of the men glared at the blonde. "What's it to you? They tried to rob a shop back there."

Zoro frowned, resting a hand on the hilt of one of his three swords. "You don't let them go, we'll have to take them by force."

Lera and Sarah had gone quiet, looking ready to squeal again.

The law enforcers looked ready to arrest the two accomplices, but in a flash, one was gurgling on the cobblestone road with blood spilling from his stomach, and the other was unconscious, half through a window of the building behind them. The two former captives were thrown unceremoniously over their savior's shoulders and led off as the crowd closed in around the two officers curiously.

"So…" Zoro grunted, putting down a dazed Lera. "What were your names again?"

Sanji followed suit, setting down Sarah.

Quickly composing themselves, the hazel-eyed girl spoke for both of them. "I'm Lera K and that's Sarah P."

"Hey, your names rhyme…" said Sanji, grinning.

"We know." The girls answered simultaneously, rolling their eyes.

Taking advantage of the fact that the two were strangely calm, Zoro pressed with the questions. "And why are you here?"

Sarah had gone back into Sanji-land obviously as she walked next to him, not even knowing where she was going as she stared up at him in adoration. It was up to her companion to answer, then. And Lera was not going to take this as an opportunity to freak out her main obsession in life. Lying would work.

"We don't know. We kinda got here by accident…"

"And how do you know so much about us?"

"Eh…" Her mind scrabbled for an answer, and she was not disappointed with the result. "Where we come from, the whole crew of the Going Merry is a legend."

"I see…" By the tone of his voice, Zoro didn't seem to believe her, but he pressed no further on that topic. "Why were you in the ocean, then?"

"Our, eh… ship sank. There was only us on it… it was a small ship. It just had a hole in it." Lera said, getting more nervous. "Thank you saving us, by the way…" She added in a soft voice, flushing slightly.

He smirked slightly. "No problem. Just don't… overreact like that again."

She smiled brightly, looking up at him as they reached the Going Merry, the crowd having dissipated slightly for lunch. "No problem."

Sarah, meanwhile, was about to pass out as she spoke with Sanji in breathless tones.

Sanji didn't seem to be doing any better. His mood had changed to the love sick one he had every time he was around Nami. "So why is a young beauty like you here, Sarah, my love?"

Sarah could have cried, she was so excited. "We got here by accident. But Sanji, I thought you liked Nami…."

"Ah, Nami-san!" A pink heart replaced the only eye seen on his face.

Sarah went into angst. "Nuu… what about me?"

"Ah, Sarah-san!" The heart grew bigger and Sarah beamed with pleasure as the four of them walked onto the Going Merry.

Zoro turned to look at the two girls. "Stay here, and don't go anywhere, alright? Last thing we need is more trouble."

Sarah and Lera nodded, both now looking very excited just to be talking with Zoro and Sanji at all.

They mournfully watched as the two left, leaving them behind on the ship. Lera sat down on a crate. "What now?"

"Dunno." Sarah sat down on a crate, which then collapsed in and took Sarah with it.

Before either of them could react, Sar-hah leaped from the broken crate to run around in frantic circles. "I talked to Sanji! Squeee!"

Lera quickly joined her and they ran in circles for a while, squealing. That progressed to them jumping around and singing "The Future Freaks Me Out" until, finally, they tired themselves out.

Ler-hah slumped against the railing with a sigh, shifting into a comfortable position with Sar-hah next to her doing the same. "I'm tired…"

"Me too…"

"But we can't sleep!"

In seconds, the two collapsed sideways, falling asleep.

* * *

Back at the Crow 2 Yo, Joshu was enjoying the lynching of the crewmember, Nate. Why? He felt like it. Emily-ly stood next to him, staring up at the body hanging from one of the mast poles. There were throwing sporks now attached to her belt, freshly sharpened, and a bag over her shoulder containing masses of strange, bright orange frogs. 

The first mate turned to the Captain, who was beaming. Not only did he lynch a dude, he got his kick-ass yellow swashbuckler boots back. "Why'd you do that?"

"Felt like it." He shrugged, grinning manically once more.

With a strange look, Emily-ly shrugged as well, going back to eating cookies. Before she could really start, however, Joshu began yelling. "Oi, all you dumbasses, get yourselves together, we're going to attack the rubber man's ship soon!"

He leaned back against the railing of the ship with a smirk, watching his crew lazily get ready. Luffy better be ready. Because he was about to have the smack down laid on him from Captain Joshu Wa Gorgy.

* * *

I dunno, it seems to be getting more "action/adventure" than humor right now… 

Ah well.


	3. WIT DA SKILLZ!

So it's actually turning out that there's a tangible plot in this seemingly pointless story. Amazing.

And, if you may notice, the rating on this has gone up to T. 'Cause there's gonna be a lot more cursing… hehe.

* * *

"Sanji's Cupcakes" 

Chapter Three – WIT DA SKILLZ!

* * *

"OY! LUFFY! Come out, you bastard!" Captain Joshu Wa Gorgy and his grouphad gone across town and now stood on the dock, looking up at the Going Merry. Looking all gangster. 

The group consisting of Emily-ly, Captain Gorgy, Nate, Kyle, and Mike.

Oh, wait, never mind… Nate's dead.

The group of four hadwent through town, Joshu up front riding a llama. Conveniently enough, the four of them avoided the whole Straw Hat crew. Zoro and Sanji and gone off to gather the rest of the gang. Luffy was drooling over a meat shop, and Nami and Usopp were simply wandering.

But now, there four punks of the Crow 2 Yo stood before the Going Merry, looking fierce.

"OY! LUFFY!"

"WHA-!" Lera woke up sharply, sitting up straight. "ZORO, THE HAMSTERS HAVE GUNS!"

Sarah sat up as well, screaming. "THE POCKY TOOK MY SANJI!"

"Huh?" They said at the same time, looking at each other before standing.

"I heard someone yelling…" said Lera, looking around, then out onto the harbor. "Oh, hey, look, it's some weird looking people!"

"Really!" Sarah ran to the railing as well, then waved. "HIIII!"

"Hello! Giraffes are after your soul!" Lera waved as well, grinning cheerfully.

Emily-ly, Kyle, and Mike waved back. "HI!"

Gorgy, after noticing what his crew was doing, gave each of them a kick in the ass before turning back to the ship, his yellow swashbuckler boots shining brightly in the afternoon sun. His Icky Stick was attached to his llama, who he fondly called Hesatdownon. Instead of using the Icky Stick, he simply pointed up at Lera and Sarah. "I demand the rubber man! Where the hell is he?"

"Hmm, Luffy, you mean? Oh, by the way, nice hair." Lera smirked, snickering.

"Grr…" Joshu's eyes narrowed as he glared at her, his temper becoming shorter by the second.

Sarah grinned as well. "No, Luffy's gone, there's only us here."

"Why, do you want to like… kill him and the Straw Hat crew or something?"

"Yeah, like _Saaahhhnjii_. Bitch." Kyle piped up from behind Joshu, dodging nimbly out of the way of his Captain's fist.

"Grr, yes, I'm going to lay the smack down on those punks!" Joshu waved his fist up at them instead.

"Dude, you're not cool." Ler-hah shook her head.

"NUUU! SANJI!" Sarah squealed in distress.

A maniacal grin lit his face. "Why, are you going to stand in my way?"

Lera matched his grin perfectly, drawing the two katanas that still hung from her hips. "Damn straight. Right Sarah?" She nudged her friend beside her.

"Huh? Oh… um… yeah, sure, whatever." Sarah shrugged.

Joshu smirked as his crew took up fighting positions behind him. "So who are you to challenge the Gangster Crew?"

"I'm Lera, and this is Sarah."

"Hey, your name's rhyme!" Mike grinned, pointing at them.

As both girls rolled their eyes, Sarah pointed at him. "I'm killing him, 'kay?"

"IT'S GO TIME!" Lera jumped up, all ninja-like.

"RAH!" Sarah took up a fighting position, then a sudden bolt of lightning flew from her clenched fists, flying straight at Mike, who yelled in pain and fell over.

"Duuude…." Everyone stared from Mike to Sarah, but Lera spoke first.

"Sarah… what was that?"

"Woah…" Sarah looked at her hand, then at Lera. "It was like... frickin' electricity!"

Lera was getting so excited that she hardly seemed to notice that she was now hovering a foot in the air.

"LERA! Holy fluffin' crap!" She pointed at the distance between her friend's feet and the floor of the ship deck.

"HOLY CRAP!" Ler-hah finally noticed the floating thing and slowly lowered herself. All the while, Joshu and the rest were getting impatient. But for the sake of this fanfic, they can wait. Those poopaws.

"Sarah, what the pocky is going on?" Slowly, she lowered back down to solid ground. "I'm floating, and you're spitting out electricity… no, wait a second… remember when we were falling?"

"Uh… yeah…?" There were sparks randomly flicking from her fingers.

"We fell through these images of Devil fruit! And then we couldn't swim, remember?"

"Oh yeah…"

"WE GOTS POWERS!"

"WOO!

After a few seconds of dancing around, they returned to their "Fierce, I'm about to kick yo' ass" looks.

Joshu looked up from his sitting position where the group had settled down to play the"Go Gold Roger" game. "Done?"

"Yeah, thanks for waiting." Lera said, nodding.

"Right. We were saying?" He stood, as well as the other three. Mike was out for the count.

"Um… POOPAW YAOI MARSHMALLOWS!" Lera and Sarah yelled. Sarah jumped down to the deck, electricity buzzing from her fingers, while Joshu ran up onto the ship, where Lera was waiting with a wide smirk on her face.

"What, no weapons?"

"Oh, I have weapons…" Grinning manically once more, he held out his arms. From his sleeves flew out a pair set of machetes.

"It's go time." Lera smirked, rising up again with her two katanas ready.

Sarah, meanwhile, was running around on the dock and beating the crap out of Kyle, as Emily-ly was standing off to the side, eating cookies again and reading Demon Ororon.

"EMILY-LY! Why aren't you… OW!... helping?" Kyle ran by her, receiving a shock in the ass. Sarah was chasing after him, cackling insanely.

"GNAAASSSHHHH! BENTO BEAT BOX ATTACK!"

Emily-ly shrugged. "I don't believe in fighting."

Lera and Joshu, up on the deck, were a mere blur as they flew at each other with their duel-wielding skillz.

"RAH!" Sarah clapped her hands, a huge bolt of electricity flying into Kyle, who, after yelling "Bitch!", fell over, unconscious and mildly sizzling.

Emily-ly blinked. "Huh? What the crap?"

"RAHHH!" The insane Sar-hah sent out another bolt of electricity before the last crew member could make a move.

"Not cool… yo.." Emily-ly fell over, the cookie falling over as well, as they both passed out. That poor cookie never stood a chance.

Sarah began dancing around and singing her victory song. "I'm on fire, and I don't think I'm ready, to bust a move… check it out, I'm rocking steady, GO!"

Ler-hah was still busy trying to kick Gorgy's ass, but she finally managed to get in a kick by floating up extra high. Her foot smashed against his head and Gorgy proceeded to fly into the railing of the Going Merry, losing consciousness as he did so.

Blinking, she sheathed her swords silently as she floated back down. Frowning at the Captain's still, but breathing figure, she proceeded to glare down at the two deep scratches on her arms that Gorgy had managed to inflict on her. With a sigh, Lera sat down on the railing a bit away from Captain Joshu Wa Gorgy, looking down at Sarah, who was still singing and dancing around.

"Yo… what happened here?" Sanji came onto the harbor, followed by the whole crew.

"Looks like a battle occurred here." Zoro frowned, looking around

"WOAH! Can't believe we missed it!" Luffy yelled, not mentioning meat for once.

"Man…" said Nami, inspecting Kyle's body.

"Ahhh! it's the Gangster Crew!" Usopp cried, then screamed as the llama Hesatdownon went "Irish Punk, baaahh." at him.

Sanji silently kicked the llama up into the air, sending itback into town before looking at Sarah. "Sarah-san, my love!" He ran forward, his arms extended as he hoped to hug her.

"Sanji!" Sarah stopped in mid-song, squealing as she met Sanji in the middle of his path and they both hugged like a Sanji and a Sarah would.

Zoro, Usopp, Nami, and Luffy left thetwo crew members on the port as they went up onto the Going Merry, where Lera was still sitting on the railing and grinning. She didn't seem to notice that the cuts on her arms were deeper than she thought as the blood dripped slowly down her arm into the water below. "Hey, guys. Took you long enough, we already beat these guys... eh, who are they, by the way?"

Nami was rolling Captain Gorgy's body off the ship. "The Gangster crew. Led by this guy, Captain Joshu Wa Gorgy."

Usopp looked confused. "But how did you beat him? How did Sarah beat them?"

"We've got Devil fruit powers!" Lera beamed. "I think mine's the Float-Float... or floating fruit. And Sarah's got like, electricity. So I guess it's the Shock-Shock fruit or something."

Zoro raised an eyebrow in disbelief. "And you fought this guy yourself?"

"Two katanas against two friggin' machetes, but yeah, I fought him. And kicked his ASS!" She pumped the air with victory, splattering blood around.

"Woah! You're bleeding!" Luffy pointed out, grinning widely.

"I am…" She lowered her arm, holding them out in front of her in shock. "He got me… dang deeper than I thought."

"Here, I'll get that for you..." Zoro moved forward, taking a spare bandana out of his back pocket and ripping it in half.

She bit her lip to stop squealing as he took her arm in his hands and began to wrap the wound. She managed to restrain herself to a squeak, but decided to take her mind off it even more by not looking at the green-haired man before her, but instead down at the harbor, where Sarah was now trying to reach Sanji the words to "The Future Freaks Me Out"

"Ok, it's.. 'I'm on fire, and I don't think I'm ready…' "

"I'm on fire… wait, but Sarah, my love, why am I not ready?"

"Dude, it's a song, c'mon!"

Lera giggled softly, turning back to Zoro, who had begun on her other arm. She squeaked again, then looked over at Usopp, who was yelling at the two below. "Yo! You better get up here, it's getting crowded on the harbor again!"

With insane laughs, Sanji and Sarah skipped up on deck, singing the first chorus of "The Future Freaks Me Out" over and over. Because that was the only part that Sanji remembered.

"I'm on fire, and Sanji thinks he's ready! To bust a move! Check it out, we're rockin' steady, GO!"

"Done." Zoro said, meanwhile, stepping back and flashing a grin at Lera, who wiggled her arms around in experiment.

"Oh, wow, thanks, Zoro…"

"No problem…" He shrugged, watching as Lera jumped off the railing and they both walked over to Sarah and Sanji. Nami quickly approached them and looked the two girls over.

"Okay, you guys, we really need to change your outfits…" Nami stood with her hands on her hips, tilting her head as she looked at the pair of them.

"We know… we tried before to get new clothes, but that didn't work out too well…"

"I got to knock out some dude, though!"

"I'll let you borrow some of my clothes, then." The only female member of the Going Merry grinned and grabbed Lera's and Sarah's hands, dragging them away from Sanji and Zoro and heading below deck.

Once they arrived at Nami's quarters, she pointed to her closet. "Pick out anything you want, just come back up once you're done, alright?"

" 'Kay." Both girls replied, staring at the closet. Once they were certain that Nami was gone, they darted out of the room, running straight to the boy's quarters. Once they returned to Nami's room, they looked quite different.

Sarah was wearing a black suit with a blue shirt underneath. It seemed way, way too big for her. "Look, I'm wearing Sanji's clothes!"

Lera was hopping up and down, giggling and wearing black pants, a green sash, and a white shirt. She also stole a bandana and now wore it on her head as well. "I'm Sash Man!"

They hopped around for a little while, singing the One Piece theme and squealing. Finally, Sarah controlled herself. "Okay, we have to put on some normal clothes, let's go put these back…"

"Right."

They shuffled out, returning the clothes to their rightful owners and returning to Nami's room. They poked through the pirate girl's clothes, frowning. "Dude, I don't wanna wear whore clothes…"

"I guess this is good… I'll be right back." Sarah grabbed a bundle of clothes and went out to change in a different room, while Lera stayed in Nami's room and chose an outfit for herself.

In minutes, they met up in the hallway and looked each other over.

Sarah had on a pale turquoise tank top dress which went a little above her knees. A brown belt secured it at the waist. She also had on striped purple and black knee-high socks, along with black commandoboots. The girl had also apparently tried to brush her hair in a Sanji style. She grinned, putting an eye patch around her neck that was shaped like apale pink heart. "What do you think?"

"Looks good." Lera grinned, fixing on a light blue patch in the shape of a spade. She still had on Zoro's pants with her second pair of black converse shoes, along with a short green skirt on top of that. As a top, she wore a gray shirt with "UCCP" written on it. Her long, wavy and curly hair was down and a black sash tied back part of it, while she still let her bangs fall over her face.

"We're ready! Yaoi power up!" The girls jumped around a little more before rushing out onto the deck again, where the whole Straw Hat crew looked up in surprise. Luffy's mouth opened wide. "Wow! You guys look really different!"

Nami grinned. "Yeah, well… it was my idea."

Usopp didn't seem to notice, he was guarding the still unconscious Gangster Crew.

Sanji was doingsome kind ofwiggly dance, his one shown eye once again replaced with a pink heart. "You two ladies look very beautiful!"

Zoro grinned, leaning back against the railing. "As long as you won't stand out now, it's fine by me."

The two girls squealed for a moment, then Sarah suddenly started choking. Collapsing to the floor, she startledcurling up and twitching.

The whole crew gasped. "Sarah!"

Lera fell to Sarah's side, as did Sanji, who looked distressed. "Yo, what's wrong wid her?"

"I don't… Sarah, what's wrong?" She lowered her head to Sarah's face as she started to silently mouth something.

"Need… pencil… and paper… Sanji, I have one last request…" Sarah managed to choke out, shivering violently as she curled up tighter, a few weak sparks flying from her fingers.

"HOLY CRAP!" Lera dived over Sanji, floating swiftly towards their two book bags still in the corner of the deck while Sarah whispered to Sanji. Wrenching open Sarah's kuroneko book bag, the hazel-eyed girl pulled out a drawing notebook and pencil, swiftly floating back to Sarah and thrusting the two retrieved items into her friend's shaking hands.

Sanji had started spazzing as Sarah began foaming at the mouth. Slowly, the pencil in her hand moved and, on the paper, she drew herself as a chibi, glomping Sanji. As she progressed in her recovery, she proceeded to draw a chibi Lera glomping Zoro.

Taking a deep breath, Sarah fully sat up. "Phew. Good thing my mad drawing skillz saved me."

"You owe me."

"What…" Sanji looked from one grinning girl to another. "What just happened?"

"See, I haven't drawn anything in the past 24 hours. I kinda had mad drawing skillz withdrawal or something. I'm ok, now." She held up the sketch pad to show everyone the picture.

The crew was shocked. In fact, the crew was PWNED. WIT DA SKILLZ!

This was a perfect time for…

"I'm on fire." Sarah began.

"And I don't think I'm ready!" Lera grinned, joining in.

"To bust a move!"

"Check it out, I'm rocking steady, go!" The two sang together, then started humming the tune to the song.

"Betty won't stop listening to modern rock, HOW she hates to be alone…"

"I try to compensate her lack of love with coffeecakes, ice cream, and a bottle of ten dollar wine."

"She says hey!"

"I rock the Haro sport."

"I rock the cowgirl blues!"

"I rock too fast for love, I'm footloose in my Velcro shoes!"

"What's up with Will and Grace?"

"I don't get drum and bass."

"**The future freaks me out!" **They yelled together, then blinked as they noticed the ever familiar shocked silence.

Luffy suddenly popped up in their faces. "DO YOU HAVE MEAT!"

"AHHH!"

Sarah cowered behind Lera, who shook her head. "No, we don't. Sorry."

As Luffy whined and scampered away, Sanji continued to blink, as did Zoro.

Sarah poked her head out again. "So Sanji…"

"Eh? Yes, my delightful Sarah-san?"

"Will you make me cupcakes, Sanji?" Her eyes grew wide and pleading.

"Anything for you, my heavenly hot fudge Sundae!"

* * *

I couldn't think of a way to end this. So there ya go xD 


	4. Koama Cupcakes

So I haven't been writing lately. That's very depressing. But with Renaissance projects coming very close to melting my brain… it took an emergency to get me writing again.

What was the emergency, you ask?

Sarah got braces….

And since she was going all emo on us, and since I love her so much, along with all of my other friends… I had to write another chapter to keep her ome. In other words, the opposite of emo.

So I'll take this time to say…

We lurve you, Sar-hah! Braces or not. And besides… Sanji doesn't like your emoness.

Other than that… thanks for reading and reviewing. Onto the fic!

* * *

Sanji's Cupcakes 

Chapter 4 – "Koama Cupcakes"

* * *

"Will you make me cupcakes, Sanji?" Sarah's eyes grew wide and pleading. 

"Anything for you, my heavenly hot fudge sundae!" said Sanji, clasping his hands together as he swayed happily from side to side, grinning widely.

For a second, Sarah blinked strangely at the blonde before her, wondering why the fluff he called her a hot fudge sundae, then smiled happily, not noticing as Lera burst into laughter next to her.

Hopping around in her tall, black commando boots and causing the lovely pink eye patch around her neck to flutter, Sarah threw her arms around Sanji. "Thank you!"

"Hehehe, don't mention it, my sweet dessert.…." Sanji's eye automatically poofed into a pink heart.

"Well… go…" Lera managed to say through her sniggers, shoving the two of them back below deck towards the kitchens.

The two of them stumbled off to the kitchen automatically, giggling and starting to hum "The Future Freaks Me Out" as they left. Ler-hah smirked, watching them go. As soon as the wooden door shut behind them, Usopp began screaming and jumping in place, looking horrified.

"There's something coming to eat the Gangster Crew!"

"WHAT!" The whole crew… and Lera yelled, running to the railing of the ship closest to the dock. Indeed, something strange was lumbering up onto the harbor.

"What the hell is that…?" Zoro frowned, looking disgusted and confused at the same time as he looked at whatever exactly the "that" was.

"It looks so… weird…" said Nami, blinking in a blank, perplexed sort of way as the "it" got closer.

"I hope that thing's not a carnivore…" Usopp cried, staring at the "thing" in horror.

"Maybe it's edible…" Luffy drooled, a look in his eye showing that he was hungry.

"It looks retarded." Lera said bluntly, raising an eyebrow at the that-it-thing that was weird, hopefully not a carnivore, possible edible, and supposedly retarded.

What it was, in fact, was a koama with a trolley clattering along behind it. And it seemed to be heading towards the still unconscious Gangster Crew lying on the dock.

They're not dead, just so you know.

The koama was certainly strange. It had the immense bulk and fur shading of a koala with short, stumbling legs and llama hooves for feet, a long neck with a round face and small black dots for eyes. Its ears were slightly pointed and a small puffy tail fluttered behind it. The whole fur covered thing was huge and was indeed slow and stupid looking. In other words, it was a mix of a koala and a llama.

It was edible, in fact. But it doesn't taste very well, even if you add ketchup and salt. Some say the meat is too bitter and strong. I just say it tastes like mud… but… y'know… that's just me.

In turned out that the comatose Gangster Crew was indeed the koama's target. It let out a loud noise that sounded something in-between a grunt and a moo. As the passengers aboard the Going Merry stared, the koama loaded Kyle, Mike, Emily-ly, and Joshu into the trolley and began lumbering back off into town. Kyle turned over, muttering "Bitch." under his breath as Emily-ly sniffed and clutched at the air and murmurs of "More incense… yo…" were heard. Joshu simply lay there, as did Mike and Nate. Oh, and the poor cookie.

Ooo, hold on… never mind… Nate's dead.

Nami suddenly screamed. "NO! They probably had a good price on their heads! That thing's taking my money! And I need money!" Throwing caution to the wind, she jumped down from the ship and ran after the koama. "GIVE ME BACK MY MONEYYYYYY!"

After a moment of silence where the crew still continued to stare, Lera smirked and broke the silence. "Well, that was interesting."

"I'd say. They'll be back, though. Not even with Nami." Zoro shrugged, smirking as well.

The hazel-eyed girl winked and gave a thumbs up. "Doesn't matter, we'll be able to get 'em next time too, right?"

"Those punks don't stand a chance." Still smirking, he chuckled and rested a hand on one of his three swords. "If you two beat them easily, it'll be a piece of cake to finish them off."

"Yeah! Hey, are you saying we're weak!" Her temper suddenly flared.

"Well… I mean, you're not exactly fighters…" He blinked, alarmed by her sudden anger as the rest of the crew hurriedly backed away.

"WHAT! Dude, we've gotDecil fruitpowers! And I've got two swords! I could beat you and your stupid swords any day!"

"THEY'RE NOT STUPID!" His teeth grew fanged as he glared at her, blowing up as well.

"YES THEY ARE!" She yelled back, floating up an inch or so in the air.

"WANNA BET!" He viciously pulled out one sword, sticking it in his mouth, then pulling on his bandana.

"YOU'RE ON!"

In a flash, all blades were out and the two sword-fighters collided. With a clang. Or a bonk. I mean, it doesn't really matter, we're switching scenes anyway…

* * *

-ahem- Meanwhile, Sanji and Sarah were wreaking havoc in the kitchen. It was obvious that Sarah was hopeless when it came to cooking, but Sanji didn't seem to mind. He grinned as Sarah knocked over multiple pots and pans, glancing down them and grabbing the one he needed. "What kind of cupcakes would you like, my love?" 

"Chocolate. No, wait, vanilla… no, chocolate… no, vanilla… no, chocolate…"

Sanji was as confused as Sarah, reaching first for the chocolate powder, then the vanilla, then the chocolate, then the vanilla, then the chocolate…

"WAIT! HOLY CRAP, I've got it." She grinned. "Strawberry. Like strawberry pocky. And strawberry shortcake… and strawberry ice-cream…."

"Strawberry it is…" The blonde proceeded to take the strawberry flavoring and he added it to his cupcake mix.

"And strawberry pudding… and strawberry yogurt… and strawberry cookies… and strawberry hats…"

"Anything else, Sarah-san?"

".. and strawberry shoes… and strawberry trucks… and straw-what?" She stopped in mid-sentence, just hearing his question.

"Anything else?" Sanji patiently repeated in his deep, and giggle-causing voice.

"Make 'em big. With icing. And sprinkles."

"How big?"

"Big as… oh… my head." Sarah shrugged.

"Your head it is!" exclaimed Sanji excitedly, setting to work.

"SQUEE! Thank you, Sanjiiiii…" Sarah danced around happily, squealing. As usual.

* * *

Back to Lera and Zoro … they were still fighting. And it was getting rather ridiculous, as Lera kept bursting into hysterical laughter every time Zoro tried to do a special move and in turn, Lera would yell out random statements that seemed very out of place for a battle. All Grand Battle's fault.

"Grr… Oni Giri!" He yelled suddenly, running forward with his swords prepared to slice through Lera. His goal wasn't to kill her, but just to cause her to give up. He figured… how can she beat me?

Lera, smirking, floated straight up and brought her swords together, flying straight down on Zoro. "It's not safe!'

With another growl, Zoro dodged aside in the last minute and swung his swords around at the girl who had just slammed into the deck next to him. "Dragon twister!"

Lera dodged underneath his attack and aimed her weapons at his legs. "You should pay attention!"

The flat of her swords hit his legs and Zoro proceeded fell on his back with a grunt. Before Lera had a chance to celebrate, however, his own swords whipped out and caught the girl by surprise, knocking her over as well. For a second, the two lay on the deck, breathing heavily. Then, with a swift sound of razor-sharp blades cutting through air, each of the two fighters had a sword pressed against their throat, held by the enemy.

Taking a deep breath and carefully glancing down at the katana at her neck, she looked at the one being held down underneath her own blade. "So… who wins?"

Sitting up cautiously, Zoro frowned at her from beneath his black bandana. "It's a tie."

She smirked, her eyes narrowed. "I could just cut your throat, y'know…"

"Not before I cut yours."

"Oh really?"

"Really."

"Well, YOU'RE O-"

Lera was rudely interrupted as a water bottle flew out of nowhere, hitting her on the head. "-n. Ow."

"Hey, have you guys seen this girl anywhere? Tye-dye shirt, eats cookies, likes incense? Her name's Emily-ly, and I'm looking for her…"

"OOOoooooOOooOoOoOOOOo." Sarah exclaimed, letting her "ooo" go up and down in volume as she stared at the 6 huge cupcakes Sanji presented her.

They were indeed the size of her head. The cupcake part was a pale pink while the top layer of icing a swirl of white, blue, and purple. The sprinkles were in the shape of little pink hearts. Sanji was beaming with pride. "I hope you like them, my princess!"

Sarah squeaked happily, setting the cupcakes down on the table to admire them. She stared at them for a moment before giggling and glomping Sanji.

After that moment of giddy schoolgirl-ness, Sar-hah dashed to the table and began eating the cupcakes as Sanji stood, dazed as the hearty eye glowed brightly. It was all good, having Nami to drool over, but this was a rare time where a girl was as obsessed with him as he was obsessed with her. Laughing insanely, he didawiggly-arm dance. As soon as Sarah saw this, she choked on her cupcake, which happened to be the second, and fell over, clutching at her throat.

"AH! SARAH-SAN!" Sanji yelled, diving forward to catch Sarah before she fell to the ground.

* * *

What is that mysterious voice that interrupted Lera's and Zoro's fight? 

Will Sarah die from choking on cupcake?

Will Nami kill the poor koama for taking her money away?

Will lettuce take over the Going Merry?

Find out… on the next… ONE PIECE! I mean... SANJI'S CUPCAKES!

* * *

This is shorter than I want it to be, but the next chapter will be loads longer. Promise. On the second cupcake that Sarah choked on. I just needed to update… and make Sarah feel better… and stuff. 

Maybe I'll actually correct some of my horrendous spelling mistakes. Then again… probably not.


	5. I’m Turning Japanese

Ahhaha… I can't think of anything to say. So I'll thank everyone who reviewed.

pIeRr'S gIrL- Thank you for the review! Aw, c'mon, little ol' Lera beat Zoro? Nah… I'll be updating as soon as I can, though!

imafrog19- Emily… take a deep breath… calm down… stop having conversations with yourself in the review boxes xD

Kalili- Wee, thanks for reviewing! Yeah, some people argue whether it's Zolo or Zoro… I first read it to be Zolo, so I go by Zolo. Hehe… Irish punk… (Now...it's changed to Zoro. Thanks to the editor of Sanji's Cupcakes, the amazing Sar-hah. )

Hoshi Akarui- Everyone should be scared when we start singing any song. Thankee for teh reviewww…

priestess-one-shot- Singing the theme song… is something that we just do. xD Many thanks for reviewing!

Emma Iveli- Strangely enough, stupid as the theme song is, we find amusement out of it. Thank you for the reviews!

* * *

Sanji's Cupcakes 

Chapter Five – "I'm Pretty Darn Sure I'm Turning Japanese"

* * *

On the last piece of One Pi-eh… Sanji's Cupcakes… 

Lera and Zoro engaged into a pointless fight while Nami ran after the koama that had taken away the Gangster Crew. Meanwhile, Sanji and Sarah went to the kitchen to make cupcakes.

However….

After Zoro and Lera's fight ended in a tie, Lera's attempt at a second battle was ended abruptly by a thrown water bottle to the head and a mysterious voice! At the same time, Sarah has choked on cupcake down in the kitchen!

Will Sarah die from choking?

And who is this mysterious voice?

WHAT ABOUT THE LETTUCE?

Oh, the suspense is killing me.

* * *

Sanji slowly lowered Sarah to the ground, having caught her in mid-collapse after her choking spell. "Oh Sarah…" 

Tears leaked from his eye as he looked down at the deadish face of Sarah. "Don't leave me, my love! Don't die! I'll add another egg to the cupcake mix next time!"

He bit his bottom lip, sobbing frantically. Sarah blinked, opening her eyes and swallowing. "Sanji?"

"Eh? SARAH-SAN!" With his eye bubbling into a heart again, he tightly wrapped his arms around the confused girl and proceeded to lift her up and dance around the room in joy while unknowingly shaking Sar-hah around like a rag doll.

"My beautiful Sarah-san! I thought you had died! Oh, to have my gorgeous girl die on my own cupcakes!" He spun around, continuing with his relieved gibberish.

"Ah… Sanji!. WAH! Sanji!... SANJIII!"

"Yes?" He stopped dead, blinking at the half dazed girl that he was clutching at.

Flicking back the bangs that had fallen over her eyes in the whole "rag doll" process, Sarah grinned brightly. "The cupcakes taste really good, Sanji."

* * *

Sarah: Wahh! I got to dance with Sanji! YESH! 

Lera: Yay! And I got to fight Zoro!

Tracey: I wonder if people know that you two act like this in real life…

Lera: Probably not… but… their face.

Tracey: Your grandma's toaster's face!

Ben: What if she doesn't have a toaster?

Kyle K: _Sahhnji…_ hehe… bitch.

Larissa: This is so weird… I have no idea what's going on…

Lera: Neither do I.

Nate: Lera, why am I dead?

Lera: 'Cause you suck.

Nate: Oh…

Emily: -pops in to draw a Sanji eyebrow on Nate- Ah ha ha ha!

Sarah:MEEP! O.O-screams and has a heart attack-

Emily: Dude… incense… yo.

Joshu: Weed is better.

Lera: Oh snap. o.o;;

Kyle J: Lera, when am I gonna be in the fanfic?

Lera: I'm getting to that… -.-;;

Nate: And I don't want to be dead

Emily: Just have some incense. And SUGAR! MORE SUGAR!

Lera: Yeah… sure…

Sarah: ...-dead-

Tracey: Weird…

Ben: -off poking shiny things-

Joshu: -flips everyone off and leaves-

Larissa: I'm gonna go watch some Nascar or something…

Nate: And I don't want to be dead.

Kyle K: Well, too bad, 'cause you are. Bitch.

Kyle J: And I want to be in the fanfic already!

Lera: -.-;;… I HAVE NO PANTS ON!

-silence-

Back to the fic…

* * *

"Hey, have you guys seen this girl anywhere? Tye-dye shirt, eats cookies, likes incense? Her name's Emily-ly, and I'm looking for her…" 

Usopp, Zolo, and Luffy, blinking blankly, looked over the railing of the Going Merry again to look down at the harbor.

A guy about Lera's and Sarah's age was standing there, blinking right back. He was dressed in all black with a strange sort of anagram on his shirt. There were multiple black wristbands along his arm, and a few chains hung from his black pants. He stared up at the crew past his also black, loosely curled bangs, which was part of his hair, of course, that stopped just above his shoulders.

The guy was holding up a picture of the girl from the Gangster Crew, Emily-ly. In the picture, her eyes were half-closed and she was smiling in a dizzy sort of way. In her hand was a smoking incense stick.

Zoro frowned. "Hey, isn't that…"

Luffy grinned. "That's the girl from before!"

Usopp stared at the picture for a moment, then glared at the guy. "Just who are you?"

"I'm Kyle." He answered simply, still blinking.

Lera was still sitting on the deck of the ship, growling and staring angrily at the empty water bottle that had hit her head. Grabbing it, she jumped up and flung it at Kyle, scoring a direct hit as it thwacked off of his forehead. "WHAT THE HELL IS YOUR PROBLEM!"

Kyle blinked, looking up at Lera and not reacting to the hit at all. "I can't find Emily-ly."

"Huh?" Her angry mood died down as she observed the picture, instantly recognizing who it was. "Ohh… I remember her. Sarah knocked her out during the battle."

"What?" Kyle's soft voice suddenly sharpened. He pulled out a fresh water bottle. "Emily-ly's hurt!" He shot the bottle straight at Lera, where she was hit in the chest and stumbled back.

This seemed to enrage Lera even more. "What're you doing? I'm not Sarah! Besides, it was self-defense!"

In fury, she grabbed the second bottle and threw it back, where it proceeded to whack Kyle on the head.

"If you don't tell me where she is, I'll throw another one at you!" Kyle yelled, unperturbed by the hit.

"Lera, calm down…" Zoro tried to make Lera relax, but it was a bit late for that.

"I'LL KILL YOU! RAHHH!" Red-faced, she grabbed one of her swords that was lying on the floor and was about to jump down on the one below, but Usopp, Luffy, and Zoro all pulled her back as Nami approached Kyle from behind.

"She went that way." Nami was looking slightly irritated and there was a bandage wrapped around her hand, which she used to point down the road that she had just come down.

"Huh? Oh, thanks." With a last glance at the growling and foaming at the mouth Lera, Kyle turned and walked off.

"KEEEEL J0000!" She struggled against the three pairs of hands, but to no avail.

Nami was busy ranting as she walked up onto the deck of the Going Merry. "Can you believe that thing took my money? Not only did it bite me..." She lifted up her bandaged hand for a moment while still talking.

"It was heading to the whole other side of the island, too! Sheesh. When a thing like that wants to go fast…" She scowled, leaning against the mast pole. "It goes fast. Hey, what's wrong with her?"

Lera was still snarling violently, trying to go after Kyle. She needed something to throw. Grabbing Luffy's straw hat, she chucked it after Kyle, but instead whacked it into Usopp, who yelped in pain, clutching at his nose. Luffy yelled angrily and quickly reclaimed his hat, jamming it roughly back on his head. Zoro had enough.

"Lera, down!"

With a distressed squeak, Lera flopped over, almost stabbing herself with her sword in the process. Pouting, she stared down at her two katanas as Sarah and Sanji came up on deck.

Grinning, Sarah ran over to her friend. "Look, Ler-hah! Sanji made me cupcakes!" She thrust forward the last cupcake from the batch of six.

Lera took the cupcake with a blank expression. After staring down at the icing for a few second, she broke off a piece and popped it in her mouth. She chewed for a moment before swallowing and looking up into Sar-hah's anticipating face. "These are really good. Did Sanji make them?"

"Of course!" The girl pulled Lera up from the floor.

"Good job, Sanj." Lera smirked, still holding the rest of the cupcake while Sanji smirked, striking a dramatic pose and blowing out a stream of smoke from his cigarette. "Thanks, but I'm just a simple cook, not a god…."

"I never called you a god." said Lera, looking slightly confused.

"Sure you didn't..." He grinned, turning away.

Shrugging, Lera broke the rest of the cupcake in half, handing a part to Sarah and eating the rest. Zoro looked at Nami and Luffy. "So what are we going to do now?"

"Well…" Nami sighed, glancing down at the Grand Line compass around her wrist. "We can't go back into town, if what Lera and Sarah did really caused so much trouble. I've got all the supplies we need. I guess we should go onto the next island."

Luffy jumped up. "I'm all for that!"

Sanji shrugged. "Wherever you three beautiful girls go… I go."

Lera and Sarah blinked around, munching on cupcake and saying nothing.

"Then… let's go! Get to work!" Nami took control of the ship, yelling out orders as Zoro, Sanji, Luffy, and Usopp ran off to prepare the ship.

Glancing at each other, the two girls blinked. Lera looked around again. "Think we should help them?"

They stared at Luffy pulling away at some rope. "Nah, let the poopaws work." Sarah replied, grinning.

So, instead, as is expected of those two, they burst into song. What was it this time? Turning Japanese….

Lera started it off, leaning against the railing. "_I got your picture of me and you._"

Sarah, recognizing the song, picked it up there. "_You wrote "I love you" _"

"_I wrote "me too"_ "

"_I sit here staring and there's nothing else to do_"

"_Oh, it's in color."_

"_Your hair is brown."_

"_Your eyes are hazel."_

"_And soft as clouds."_

"_Ah lalala la when there's no one else around…_"

Ignoring the rest of the second paragraph of lyrics, the two went right into the chorus of the song, jumping around just as the ship's sail burst out, catching the wind, and the Going Merry slowly pulled out of the harbor. They sang at the same time, yelling out the lyrics at the top of their lungs,

"**I'm turning Japanese**

**I think I'm turning Japanese**

**I really think so!**

**Turning Japanese**

**I think I'm turning Japanese**

**I really think so!**

**Turning Japanese**

**I think I'm turning Japanese**

**I really think so!**

**Turning Japanese**

**I think I'm turning Japanese**

**I really think so!"**

They paused for a moment, not recalling the rest of lyrics, but Lera remembered her favorite part and slid to the middle of the deck, taking solo.

_"No sex, no drugs, no wine, no women _

No fun, no sin, no you, no wonder it's dark…

Everyone around me is a total stranger

Everyone avoids me like a Psyclone Ranger

Everyone…"

Sarah joined in and they started jumping around again, the rest of the crew watching them in amusement.

"**That's why I'm turning Japanese**

**I think I'm turning Japanese**

**I really think so…**

**Turning Japanese**

**I think I'm turning Japanese**

**I really think so…**

**Turning Japanese**

**I think I'm turning Japanese**

**I really think so!**

**Turning Japanese**

**I think I'm turning Japanese**

**I really think so!" **

**

* * *

**

On the other side of Nana-Tay island, the Gangster Crew was busy recovering from their severe beating. Larissa, the doctor of the Crow 2 Yo, was busy putting ice on Kyle's ass.

Emily-ly, refusing any treatment, had laid her cookie to rest and now hung on a rope attached to the railing of the ship. She was busy painting the ship rainbow, an incense stick hanging out of the corner of her mouth like a cigarette. Up on deck, the koama was holding a bucket of rainbow paint for his master to use.

"Opium, lower me down a bit more." The koama, Opium, quickly complied.

Larissa, a girl with long brown hair, peered over the edge of the railing to stare at Emily-ly. "What are you doing?"

The first mate looked up at the ship's doctor, who had on an orange shirt with "I agree with Marty" on it, jeans, and brown puma sneakers. "Repainting the ship. The whole emoness was getting to me."

"Did the captain say you could?"

"It doesn't matter, I'm magic, yo." Emily-ly went back to painting. "Besides, he's still passed out."

"Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey…. What are you doing?" Mike scampered up next to Larissa, blinking like there was no tomorrow. He had on a strange, dark blue kimono which he said was like some guy named "Miroku."… whoever that was. He brushed back his messy brown hair, grinning.

"Um… Larissa'll tell you." Emily-ly said distractedly, trying to paint over a pesky rat that had been crawling up the side of the ship.

"What are you doing?" Crew mate Kyle approached Larissa and Mike. At the moment, Kyle had on a large marshmallow outfit that had "YAOI" on the front. Don't ask why.

"Watching Emily-ly repaint the ship." Larissa answered for the two of them.

Nate didn't seem to interested in finding out what everyone else was doing. But that's because he was wearing a red sweater with "Iheart Yaoi and Hentai" on the front.

Ooo, scratch that. Nate's dead.

The three of them continued to stare down at the first mate, occasionally blinking at the koama as it moogrunted.

"What are you doing?"

Larissa, by now, had gotten rather impatient. She spun around to yell at whoever asked the question. "WATCHING EMIL-…" Her voice died in her throat as she saw that it was Captain Joshu Wa Gorgy.

He was sporting a large bump on the side of his dead, and his mood was rather annoyed. Angry, even. He growled under his breath, shoving aside Larissa, Mike, and Kyle to scowl down at his first mate, the Icky Stick in his hand and his yellow swashbuckler boots shining as brightly yellow as ever.

"WHAT THE _FUCK_ ARE YOU DOING?"

Mike gasped softly, and Larissa shook her head, muttering "Language…"

Opium growled under his breath, scowling at the Captain. Emily-ly quickly pulled herself up, the incense stick wobbling around as she screamed right back at Joshu. "I'm _painting _the _ship!_ It's TOO FRUCKIN' EMO! Right guys?" She turned to look at the four other crew members. I mean, three.

"Um…" Mike looked off to the side.

"Right." Larissa shrugged.

"Sure." Kyle shrugged as well, his marshmallow suit making a strange squeaky noise.

"Is this a rebellion, then? By the Irish Punk, I'll…" Joshu lifted up his Icky Stick in a threatening way.

"No! I'm just repainting the ship, you moron." The dark-haired girl rolled her eyes, accidentally flicking rainbow paint on Gorgy from her brush.

Joshu twitched, staring down at the small pool of paint on his leather trench coat. "You…."

"Oh, I'm sorry, did I get paint on your cow?" Emily-ly yelled, looking irritated.

"… are dead!" He growled, his razma-tazma-genta eyes narrowing. Larissa, Mike, and Kyle quickly scurried out of the way.

But just as Joshu swiftly brought down the Icky Stick and Emily-ly went "Ah!", instinctively throwing up her arms over her head, a soft clunk of plastic hitting bone caused an eerie silence to fall. The blow intended to whack Emily-ly upside the head never came. She blinked, looking down as a water bottle fell to the ground.

"DON'T TOUCH EMILY-LY!" Kyle… eh, the other Kyle, the one all in black, was walking up onto the deck of the Crow 2 Yo.

Joshu growled, turning to face the other Kyle while Marshmallow Kyle pulled Emily-ly and Opium out of harm's way.

"So who the hell are you? Besides about to be dead…" Joshu growled, flicking his Icky Stick around into a battle position.

"Kyle. And if you touch Emily again, I'll rip out your throat with my bare hands and eat it."

"I'll just come back resurrected with funky face paint and a crow, you can't touch me." Joshu replied with a smirk.

Emily-ly slowly moved forward. "Kyle…?"

"Emily-ly!" He brightened, moving forward as Marshmallow Kyle was protesting silently that the other Kyle stole his name. "I've been looking for you everywhere… Where were you?"

"Oh, um…" She glanced off to the side. "Y'know… being a pirate."

Captain Gorgy tried to make sense of everything, scowling. "Hold on… you know him? Does that mean he's a pirate?"

"What? No, I'm not a bad guy!"

Joshu growled again. "So you're sided with that rubber freak?"

"No… I'm not a good guy either." He gave off a few shifty looks.

"Then what the hell are you!" Gorgy was quickly loosing his patience, and the throbbing headache he had wasn't helping at all.

"I protect Emily-ly here. Plus, I'm her boyfriend."

"…. Oh.'

"Yeah, so you can't kill him, Gorgy." Emily-ly said quickly, glaring at the Captain. "Because I…." She stopped in mid sentence as she was about to hug Kyle, staring off into the distance.

"Emily-ly?" Kyle questioned, looking concerned.

Slowly, the girl's eyes grew wider and more crazed until she suddenly grinned insanely. "INCENSE!" She screamed at the top of her lungs, cackling evilly and waving her arms at the water by the Crow 2 Yo. A hoard of frogs suddenly surfaced and pushed the ship away from it's resting place, propelling the vessel out to sea. At the same time, Emily-ly zoomed around the ship, letting loose the sails that immediately caught the wind.

Kyle, yelping softly, tumbling out of the boat from the sudden speed, and he plunged with a loud splash into the water. But the ship didn't stop and kept it's course out to open sea. "Emily-ly!"

But the first mate of the Crow 2 Yo was too busy screaming and jumping around. "INCENSE! FASTER, MY FROGGIES! FROG FROG SPEED POWER!"

The ship speeded along as the rest of the crew clutched at anything they could, not wanting to suffer the same fate as Kyle. Little did they know that the course the half rainbow, half black craft was going on would lead them right to the Going Merry.

* * *

The crew of the Going Merry had spread themselves out along the ship. Usopp was at the wheel, Nami was leaning against the mast and looking over a map, and Luffy was sitting at the front of the ship, grinning with excitement. Zoro was leaning against the second floor railing, staring off into the distance while Sarah stood behind a seated Sanji, busy braiding his blonde hair. 

Lera was munching on peanut butter rice krispies and talking to Sarah while she braided.

"Where do you think we're going?" She opened up another one, adding another wrapper to her growing pile.

"I dunno. But you know what I always say in situations like this?"

"I want my poopaw?"

"No…"

"More rice krispies, poo?"

"No."

"Tonzura koite?"

"YESH!" Sarah grinned, finishing off one braid and starting on another.

"Hmm. Somehow, that doesn't really help."

"Eh, take a carrot."

"That works." Lera shrugged, finishing up her last rice krispie as she slowly floated up. When she was at the right height, she dropped her legs into a standing position and she proceeded to wander off to talk to Zoro.

Sanji chuckled softly as Sarah started on her third braid, but neither made any move to stop Lera.

Ler-hah walked slowly, brushing back her hair for a moment and fixing her pale green skirt before going up the stairs to lean against the railing next to Zoro, who glanced down at her briefly before looking out at the horizon once more.

The honey-brown haired girl followed his gaze a minute or so before, as usual, breaking the silence. "I bet I can still beat you."

A slight smirk came to the master swordsman's lips. "You wish."

"I'm serious. Next time… I'm gonna kick your ass."

They looked sideways at each other simultaneously, green into hazel. The fight could've started right then, but instead then they turned their eyes away again. However, what was done was done. Lera had laid down the challenge, and Zoro could not back away from it. He smirked again.

"Heh… if you're not careful, I'll cause you some serious cuts."

"Ah. Too bad, you won't be able to knock any sense to me."

"I'll let you realize your mistakes the hard way."

"How kind of you."

"You don't seem freaked out by this..."

"That's 'cause I'm gonna kick… your… ass…." She pushed away from the railing, turning to walk back to Sarah and Sanji.

"Not if I have anything to say about it, Lera."

"Yeah…. Right…" She glanced back at him over her shoulder, then blinked slightly in confusion. An unexpected, overwhelming feeling of dizziness washed over her as she pressed a hand to her forehead. She could feel cold sweat, and the floor beneath her, for some reason, couldn't stand still. She slowly started to collapse. "… oh crap…"

"Lera!" Zoro dived forward in the nick of time, catching her. The girl was breathing raggedly, her face and the tips of her ears colored pink as she stared past him, her eyes half closed.

"Not good…" He held his hand to her forehead and frowned. "She's burning up." Picking her up, he walked down the stairs to take her to a quiet place. Sarah quickly spotted him, as did Nami. Both girls gasped. Or, really, Nami gasped. Sarah screamed her head off and ran at Lera and Zoro, nearly colliding with them but managing to skid to a stop at the same time. "Oh, damnit! What's wrong with her? Why's she PINK?"

"She's got a fever…."

Nami ran up behind Sarah. "Fever? Let me see…" She intently looked Ler-hah over and frowned. "I thought so. Grand Line Fever."

Sanji joined the group, his whole head braided but for the bit of hair that covered the right part of his face. "What's wrong wid 'er!"

Wailing, Sarah clutched at the blonde's arm. "My poopaw's gonna DIE!"

With a frown, Zoro continued on to Nami's quarters, everyone following after him. He carefully laid down Lera on the bed once inside the room and turned to the rest of them. "Look, she won't die. We just need to get her to a doctor."

"She's gonna DIE!" Sarah sniffled.

Sanji quickly took up the same position, tears beginning to stream down his cheek. "Oh, no, Lera-san!"

"She'll be fine." Nami said, pulling out a few candles and lighting them. A pleasant aroma spread quickly through the room. "This helps with the fever. We'll just have to get a doctor at the next island. We'll get there in about a day, if she can hold on."

Lera groaned in pain but managed a weak nod. "Damn straight…"

Sarah managed to beam in pride. "That's MY poopaw!"

Even Zoro grinned. "If you don't make it out, you won't be able to beat me, so hang in there."

"Shut up, you…" Lera frowned at him slightly before tiredly closing her eyes.

"Lera, if you die, I'mgoing to killyou." Sarah warned, scowling at her.

At that moment, Luffy burst into the room, looking excited. "Hey guys! There's this really weird rainbow and black ship with chains all over it that's coming right after us!"

Emily-ly's voice flooded into the room. "INCEEEEENNSSSEEEEE!"

"What!" Nami, Zoro, Sarah, Luffy and Sanji all gasped, abandoning Lera to run out on deck. Indeed, a strangely colored ship was speeding right at them. And it seemed to be being propelled by a mass of crickets…

"What the fluff?" Sarah gaped as the ship came right up to the Going Merry, nearly crashing. However, it managed to swerve around. Now, they could see a rather dazed looking Gangster crew on the other side. Emily-ly was the only one who seemed to not be clutching at anything for support. With a cackle, the first mate jumped the distance easily between the two crafts and ran right past the confused looking Going Merry crew.

She was following the smell that only she could smell more than 10 miles away. "Incense, incense, incense…" She sniffed around for a moment before sprinting through the door leading below deck and bursting into Nami's room. "Incense?" She blinked around, not seeing any smoke. Several candles and a sick looking girl was all that she could make out. Emily-ly blinked. "But…. Incense?"

She poked Lera, who tried in vain to whack her arm away. "Incense?" Emily-ly asked hopefully.

The voice seemed familiar. Lera slowly sat up and saw the first mate of the Gangster crew standing before her, staring at her like she was something to eat. Or, in this case, burn.

Thinking quickly, Ler-hah grabbed the blanket off the bed she was in and threw it around the one before her, holding both ends. She threw the extra lengths around the tye-dye wearing pirate until Emily-ly was tightly wrapped in a blanket bind. Smirking wearily, Lera pulled herself together and stood. The rest of the crew ran into the room to see their sick friend leading along a bound, even more sick, but sick in the head, Emily-ly.

Biting her lip and resisting the urge to go back and lie down, Lera led her captive out on deck. Looking around, she spotted the half painted Crow 2 Yo and sighed. "Well, that explains everything… hey, it's Gorgy!" She brightened considerably when she saw the Captain waving his fist angrily at her. Lucky for her, he was too far away to have his stream of curse words heard.

Instead, Lera glanced back at the five who had followed her up. "What's going on?"

Sarah rushed out to hug Lera, knocking over the immobile Emily-ly by accident as she huggled Lera. "You're not dead!"

"What? I'm just sick…"

"You shouldn't be up." Zoro said firmly, moving forward to grab Lera's shoulders and lead her back down to bed. She would have protested, but the very fact that he was touching her at all was enough to have her simply submit to being steered to Nami's room once more.

Emily-ly wiggled around on the ground, incapable of getting up as her arms were tied within the blanket. She had finally snapped out of her incense daze and returned to reality. "Let me go!"

"Hey look, she's wiggling…" Sarah grinned, poking the struggling pirate with her foot.

While she wiggled around, Emily-ly carefully slid down her arm to her belt, where she still had her sharpened throwing sporks. Nami, Sanji, Sarah, and Luffy didn't notice this as they stared down at her.

"What should we do? They technically didn't attack us…" Nami mused.

"She went on MY ship without MY permission!" Luffy grumbled, annoyed.

"She's pretty cute though…" Sanji added, grinning widely and receiving a whack on the head from Sarah.

"HAH!" Emily-ly cut right through the blanket and struggled out, jumping to her feet. Without even looking at the Straw Hat crew, she jumped right back to the Crow 2 Yo, where Joshu hit her upside the head and Marshmallow Kyle wobbled around her angrily.

"What was that! Who's captain here?" Gorgy yelled furiously, his rainbow tipped hair almost bristling with rage.

"Whatever." With a snort, Emily-ly strode past them, planning on lighting some incense, but Larissa blocked her way. "We kinda lost your boyfriend during your mad incensy thing…"

"Kyle? Oh… crap! We've got to go back." Using her Frog-Frog cursed fruit powers, she waved her hands back in the direction they had come from and the Crow 2 Yo zoomed off again.

Unfortunately, frogs can't really steer well. Within 5 minutes, the ship smashed into a random and rather inconvenient rock. Don't worry. The Gangster crew'll be back.

Meanwhile, back on the Going Merry, everyone decided unanimously to keep going towards the next island with all speed possible, as Lera's condition appeared to have gotten worse.

For the next 20 hours, they journeyed along, Sarah, Nami, and Zolo each taking turns in pressing cold, wet cloths to their sick friend's hot forehead. It seemed, however, that Zoro insisted on staying near Lera more than anyone else, and this amused Luffy and Sanji.

"What, finally warmed up to a girl, Zoro?" Sanji smirked.

"WHAT! Zoro likes Lera!" Luffy's eyes nearly popped out of his head.

The two of them left the room pouting, with large lumps on their heads.

Finally, night had fallen. Everyone besides Usopp, who had first watch, went to bed. Sanji had decided to keep Sarah company and the two slept near each other on deck. Luffy was snoring in the guys' quarters in his hammock, while Nami dragged out a cot to sleep on in her office. Zoro was dozing in Lera's room, while Lera herself was sleeping fitfully, as sick as ever.

Night passed, Usopp turned over the watch to Nami, then Luffy, and finally Sanji was dragged up to the steering room to keep watch. Just when the sun had begun to rise that a lump on the horizon appeared, symbolizing the next island in the Grand Line.

Luffy woke up just then as sunlight poured into his room. He stretched contentedly and sighed. "It's a great day to be King of the Pirates!" Shoving Usopp out of his hammock, the straw hatted captain went up on deck, where Sanji walked out of the steering room on the second floor and yawned. "What a night…"

"Good morning, Sanji!" Luffy said, cheerful as always.

"Mornin'…" The cook muttered, walking past him to the kitchen to make breakfast.As Luffy started to automatically follow, the door closed in his face and he whacked into it. Rubbing his nose, Luffy decided better and instead skipped over to Sarah, who was sleeping contently in a corner of the deck.

Leaning his face close to hers, he grinned widely and yelled. "GOOD MORNING, SARAH!"

"WAH-!" Sarah automatically sat straight up, shooting a bolt of electricity at Luffy.

"Hey…" He poked his arm, having absorbed the shock as rubber would when up against lightning.

"Piece of crap…" Sarah, finally calming down, grabbed her kuroneko backpack, which she had been using as a pillow, and smashed it against the captain's head.

Luffy flew across the deck to the other side. Sarah, grumbling to herself, slowly stood and stretched, rubbing sleep out of her eyes as she turned to look at the rising sun. Still muttering darkly, the girl with blue-green eyes shoved all her stuff back into the Trigun kuronekobag and headed to the kitchen, knowing Sanji would be in there.

Stumbling out of the crates he had flown into, Luffy groaned and clutched at his head. "I was just trying to be nice…"

In an hours time, the whole Going Merry crew was up and having breakfast up on deck. Except Lera, who was allowed to sleep in.

Sarah looked up from her heart shaped pancakes that Sanji had done specially for her. "Zoro, how's Ler-hah?"

"I don't know, she doesn't seem to be getting any better." He was frowning, and then began shoveling eggs and bacon into his mouth.

Sanji was leaning against the mast of the ship, watching the far off island get closer. "Nami-san, what's the name of that island?"

"Totoro…" The Navigator replied instantly, slowly eating her food. Behind her, Usopp and Luffy were following Zoro's example and stuffing their faces at top speed.

"Like My Neighbor Totoro!" Sarah exclaimed, squealing slightly. After receiving odd looks from Nami, she scowled and went back to eating. "Oh, never mind…"

The crew finished breakfast and settled in to watch the island come closer. It appeared to be a large, round mountain with nothing on the surface, but Nami pointed out that there was an entrance into the inside of the island.

Soon enough, the huge rock mountain was looming before them, and no one could see the entrance Nami had spoken of.

"Wait... there it is!" Sar-hah found it before anyone else, pointing the entrance out. It turned out to be a hole in the side of the mountain, barely big enough for a ship.

The Going Merry was carefully steered into the hole.

"Careful…" Zoro muttered, watching as the side of the ship nearly scraped up against the rock wall.

But, by pure luck, the ship made it through and entered the dark cave opening. The light behind them, the exit, was quickly gone as the moving water steered them around a corner. Soon, no one could see anything.

"Sanji, I'm scared…" Sarah was clutching onto the blonde, her eyes wide.

"It'll be alright, Sarah-san." Sanji said calmly, although he was a bit nervous himself.

"What's… going on?" Lera's voice was heard through the darkness.

"What are you doing up? You're sick!" Usopp said, having heard the news from Nami.

Before Lera could answer, a new voice softly spoke up. "Welcome, Going Merry crew. We've been waiting for you."

Around them, bright red eyes blinked into being.

"WAI!" Sarah screamed, pulling Sanji's arm into a death grip.

"Holy crap…" Lera stumbled forward in the dark, blind. She knocked into something and strong arms silently steadied her.

"Don't move." Zoro's voice said firmly, just above her.

"No problem…" She answered meekly, staying still and looking around. Ahead of them, a pale light could be seen. The end of the tunnel, so to speak.

The Going Merry floated into the light and everything was illuminated. They were inside a huge, immense cavern. Before them, the water ended and a town seemingly made from black rock came into view. Around them, hundreds of man and women with large, bat-like bodies clung to the cave wall, blinking their red eyes.

On the sandy shore, whose sand happened to be black as well, stood a large bat like man who was obviously the leader. Baring his pointed teeth, he spread his arms out invitingly. It also happened that those arms were attached to leathery wings.

In a cold, hissing, butsoft voice, the one from before, the half man, half bat spoke.

"Welcome. Welcome to Totoro Island."

* * *

Who are these strange inhabitants of this even stranger island, Totoro? 

Will Lera find a doctor?

Will Sanji's braids last through another chapter?

WHAT ABOUT THE LETTUCE?

Find out next time... on Sanji's cupcakes!

* * *

Oh snap. -waves arms around- What a thriller. I've made myself a new island…. Even though I kinda had to sacrifice some humor and put in more action/adventure… but dun' worry! Humor shall make a valiant return! Or something like that. 

Excuse me for any mistakes. I didn't have a chance to read the last few parts… Please read and review! Many thanks!


	6. Holy Onions, Batman

So… yeah. That last chapter was probably the longest chapter so far. I'm not usually going to have them THAT long… but I edited Chapter 5 anyway. Because, for some reason, when I put both a question mark and an exclamation point, the question mark disappears. Poofs! POOFS I SAY!

Poofing question marks irk me.

In any case…

Thanks for the reviews. Mainly Tracey there. THANK YOU, TRACEY! Oh, and Sarah. THANK YOU SARAH! Oh, and 1080kemi! THANK YOU, 1080kemi! Oh, and Emily-ly. THANK YOU, EMILY-LY!

Here be Chapter 6. Arr.

* * *

Sanji's Cupcakes 

Chapter Six – "Holy Onions, Batman"

* * *

On the last cupcake of Sanji's Cupcakes. Or One Piece. Take your pick. 

After fleeing Nana-Tay Island, the Straw Hat Crew began their journey to the next island in the Grand Line: Totoro Island. Along their voyage, Lera falls ill with the Grand Line Fever! Oh noes!

At the same time, the Gangster Crew was recovering from their previous fight with our heroines, Sarah and Lera. After a brief encounter with Kyle, Emily-ly stormed after the Going Merry, the smell of incense and her Frog-Frog powers spurring her on.

Oh so dramatic.

But, they soon found out that there really was no incense so they went and crashed themselves on a big 'ol rock.

And what… about… the lettuce?

Now, we join the Going Merry just as they enter Totoro Island.

… or do we?

No, no, we do.

* * *

"Welcome. Welcome to Totoro Island." 

"HOLY CRAP!" Sarah yelled, pointing at him. "IT'S LIKE A BAT MAN WANNABE!"

"This is just getting weirder and weirder…." Lera said softly, leaning against Zoro and looking worse than she had before. Her face was pale pink and her hair stuck wetly to her face from cold sweat.

One of the bat people floated gently onto the ship from the wall. Sarah immediately screamed and was about to shock it with lightning when Sanji grabbed her hand, getting a slight shock himself. "Owie."

"Wahhh, Sanji, I'm so sorry!" She looked up at him with teary eyes as Sanji stared at his two blistery fingers. "Why'd you stop me?"

He grinned to show that he didn't mind and nodded towards the inhabitant of Totoro Island. "We don't want to be scaring them off now, do we? They seem friendly enough."

Nami stepped forward to the young bat person. "Thank you for welcoming us."

"Leader Wafehl of the Totoran Clan has been expecting you for quite some time, now." He smiled brightly, revealing vampire-like fangs, causing Sarah to scream again.

"SOMEONE GET ME ONIONS!" She writhed around in horror, hiding behind Sanji.

"Onions, Sarah-san? Are you planning on making soup?" Sanji blinked blankly, turning his head to look at her.

"Totoran clan? Does that mean you're all Totorans?" Luffy blinked at the young half man, half bat thing.

"Yes, I am a Totoran. My name is Pa'n Cayke." Pa'n Cayke bowed low, tucking his wings tightly around himself.

"I've heard of the Totorans…" Usopp spoke up, then blinked slightly as everyone turned to look at him. "I heard stories of them. They live in an uncharitable island that's really more of a huge cave! And that from living so long in the dark, the people developed…" He gulped, looking at Panny Cayke. "… eh… some rather odd qualities."

Panny nodded, laughing softly. "Yes, that's all true, but we can speak of that later. My father wishes to speak with you…"

"Is your father Wafehl?" Nami asked, glancing at the lead Totoran down on the shore who was waiting patiently.

"Yes." He nodded as several ropes latched onto different parts of the ships hull, hauling the Going Merry into a port off to the side of the cave.

Zoro frowned, glancing at all of the Totorans around them, then down at Lera, who was still shaking slightly and holding onto Zoro's arm to prevent herself from falling. "I don't like this."

Usopp looked around. "Why not, Zoro? They seem very pleasant."

"That's what I'm worried about." He muttered.

The movements of the ship finally slowed as the group of bat people pulled it into the dock. Luffy was the first to jump down, startling some of the Totorans, but he still grinned brightly and shook some of their hands. "HI! I'm Monkey D. Luffy!"

Nami quickly followed. "There's no time for that, Luffy. Lera needs help, remember?"

Both Luffy and Nami ran to Wafehl, who blinked his red eyes at them. Now that they were up closer, they could pick out the details of the strange bat man. Large bat ears sprouted from his black furred head. His eyes were tilted and narrow. The rest of his body seemed to have been covered with black fur as well. Sprouting from his back were large bat wings, now folded, the small clawed hands on the ends of the flight devices clasped across his chest. His feet were large and clawed as well. For clothing, he had on a shirt and shorts, as did the rest of his people.

"Miss Nami the Navigator and Captain Monkey D. Luffy." He said in a soft voice, smiling.

"How… how did you know?" Nami blinked, staring up at the leader of the Totoran Clan.

"I, like Luffy, have tasted the fruit that is cursed. The sight-sight fruit. I have known of your arrival for months." His narrow, crimson eyes bored into Nami's, and this was slightly disturbing, to say the least.

Nami decided to go straight to the point. "Leader Wafehl, we need a doctor. One of our friends has gotten Grand Line Fever!"

"Well, that is a problem… I did not see that you would come with an ill crew member. Which one is it, Nami the Navigator? Sanji? Roronoa Zoro? Usopp?" Wafehl mused, briefly glancing up at the Going Merry, where he could see Sarah still spazzing out about vampires as more Totorans landed softly on the ship deck to curiously look at her. Sanji was yelling angrily, threatening them that they would get cooked if they eventouched his dear Sarah, while Zoro, Usopp, and Lera watched with blank expressions.

"Actually, it's a new crew member of ours. Lera." Nami followed his gaze for a moment before looking back at him.

"I see…" He cast a few side fleeting looks at some of the Totorans around him, nodding ever so slightly before looking back at Nami. He smiled in an apologetic way. "I am sorry."

Nami and Luffy gasped softly in shock. "What?"

Wafehl looked grave as the Totorans around him and on the Going Merry pulled out piles of pale purple powder. Dude, that's an alliteration.

Before anyone could react, the Totorans blew off the powder from the palms of their hands, which formed a cloud. Lera, Sarah, Zoro, Sanji, Usopp, Luffy, and Nami were all enveloped in a pale purple poofy (which rhymes with Luffy) cloud. Wafehl sighed softly, watching the Straw Hat Crew start coughing. "I apologize. We normally never do this… but the Navy's power is great and CaptainSmoker has taken something we dearly treasure."

Nami was clutching at her throat, trying not to breathe in the powder. "Captain Smoker?"

Luffy had already, after laughing at the powder cloud, collapsed next to Nami. Nami herself was slowly sinking to her knees, feeling dizzy. Everything was going black….

"Why….?" She managed to gasp out as the Totoran before her slowly stepped back, fading from her vision.

Wafehl sighed. "We have no choice. The fate of our island rests in the Navy's hands."

With a soft sigh, Nami collapsed to the ground, unconscious.

Up on the Going Merry, Panny had softly apologized as well, and the five crew members were wrapped up in the purple dust cloud that the Totorans had blew at them. Usopp had simply toppled over with a groan. Lera was second to go, being already in a weakened condition. She sighed softly and her knees gave way. Zoro held her up easily as he tried to resist the powder. He growled angrily, feeling himself weakening. He dropped to his knees, still forcing himself not to breathe.

But damn, that is one stubborn purple powder cloud. With an irritated sigh, Zoro fell over backwards, Lera flopping over with him as the swordsman continued to protectively hold her to himself.

At the same time, Sarah had squealed at first in excitement from all the purple-ness, accidentally taking a deep breath of the cloud. With a weak gasp, her eyes rolled into the back of her head and she collapsed as well. Sanji managed to catch Sarah, but not before taking a whiff of the powder as well. The two of them flopped over, unconscious, with Sarah looking almost cheerful as even in her passed out state, as she had managed to position herself so that she could use Sanji as a pillow.

* * *

On the other side of Totoro Island, a Navy ship was moored to the rock wall. Captain Smoker, or, as we know him, old Zoro... was smirking. There was a stream of smoke, as usual, floating out of each of his two cigars. Tashigi was smiling and hugging a sword behind him, muttering "Such a good sword… such a pointy sword…" 

Before them sat a young female Totoran, bound to the mast pole. She glared at them past her long, black bangs. "My father will get you for this!"

Smokerchuckled softly. "Now now, Princess Seerup… this is only temporary. Once your father brings me the rubber man… I will let you go."

She growled angrily, baring her fangs at him. "You…"

He blew a stream of smoke at her gently. As the daughter of Wafehl began coughing, he turned his head away. "That is, if he cooperates."

* * *

"Well… this sucks." 

The Gangster Crew was stuck. That was certain. The remains of the Crow 2 Yo were floating around them as the crew clung desperate to the rock their precious ship had crashed on.

Joshu was sitting at the top of the rock, brooding and glaring down at the waters below as some of the chains from the ship began to sink.

Emily was sitting a bit lower down. Larissa and Mike were at the bottom of the rock, almost at sea level, while Marshmallow Kyle bobbed around in the water, his Marshmallow suit keeping him afloat.

"So what the hell do we do now?" Captain Gorgy asked, glancing down at Emily-ly, who was wringing water out of her hair.

"How the heck should I know?" Emily-ly muttered angrily, thoroughly annoyed.

"Well… you SHOULD KNOW!" He yelled back, scowling.

"Just shut up, will you?" Larissa scowled up at them, shaking water out of her ear.

"SHUT UP!" Joshu and Emily-ly yelled simultaneously, glaring at her.

"WAH!" Larissa toppled into the sea, directly on top of Marshmallow Kyle. They both sunk underneath the surface for a second before Kyle came back up again, gurgling angrily and cursing. Larissa was clutching feebly at the marshmallow suit, shivering from the cold water.

The koama, meanwhile, was doggy-paddling around the rock, singing along the tunes of "How much is that doggy in the window?"

"How muhh iii thaaa ooaammma iiin daa winooww?

Moogrunt, moogrunt.

Thaaa ooonne wiii daaa panaaaliiii taaaiiiilllll

How muhh iii thaaa ooaammma iiin daa winooww?

Moogrunt, moogrunt

I doooo oopppe datt oooaammmaaaa fooooo saaalllleeeeee."

"EMMMIIILLLYY-LYYY!" Kyle's voice suddenly broke through Opium's song. A ship zoomed up on a rainbow path that appeared out of nowhere. It was almost all rainbow and little fuzzy bears were running around, singing happily. The Care Bears. Kyle looked very disturbed by all the cheerful bears around him, but relieved that he had found Emily-ly.

"Kyle!" Emily-ly jumped up happily, waving her arms as the Care Bears began jumping around and singing even louder.

Joshu looked up as well, his luscious black and rainbow hair being whipped up by the sudden wind. "What the hell..?"

"Emily-ly!" Kyle yelled again, throwing her a rainbow colored rope. "Grab on!"

Emily-ly proceeded to do so, using Gorgy's head as a place to push off from. She jumped, grasping the rope. Kyle quickly pulled her up. "Emily-ly!"

"Kyle! Yay!" Emily-ly quickly hugged her boyfriend, then sighed and pointed at the rest of the rather confused Gangster Crew. "You might as well save them, too."

Ten minutes later, Opium, Marshmallow Kyle, Mike, Captain Joshu Wa Gorgy, and Larissa were all sitting on deck, shivering.

Kyle looked at them. "Are you sure, Emily-ly?"

"Yeah…" She sighed, back to eating M&M cookies. "They're my friends, I guess. Except Joshu. He sucks, 'cause he likes Irish Punk. I don't believe in Irish Punk."

"HEY! BITCH!" Gorgy yelled angrily, glaring at her. In a flash, he toppled over, another huge lump on his head. Kyle walked back to Emily-ly, smiling brightly and rubbing at his knuckles gently. "He has a really tough skull, y'know…"

"I'm not surprised…"

Then, out of nowhere, Nate walked onto the deck. "Hey guys, look. I'm not dead anymore."

"CARE BEAR HUG!" A sudden swarm of Care Bears tackled Nate to the ground, smothering him.

"AHH! NOO!"

Suddenly, a large foot came down on the whole mess with a farting noise, killing Nate instantly.

I'm sorry, Nate.

And now for something completely different.

* * *

Sarah groaned softly, opening her eyes and coming out of her unconscious state. She tried to sit up, then thought better of it. She had a huge headache. Instead, she turned her head this way and that, trying to figure out where the heck she was. 

It appeared to be a dark room with black walls. There were small windows near the top of the ceiling, but they shed little light. Everywhere around her were cots, and she appeared to be on one as well.

Next to her was Lera, shivering from fever. "Lera…. Ler-hah, my poopaw…" Sarah called softly, trying to wake Lera up without moving her throbbing head.

"Eh…" Lera's eyes slowly opened before she sat straight up. "Da chort vasmii, ya hachyoo kartoshku c mayei vilkai!" She yelled frantically in Russian before squeaking in pain and falling back against her pillow. "Ow."

"Lera, calm down!" Sarah said, quickly getting over her surprise of her friend's outburst.

"Sarah, what the crap happened?" The whole Grand Line Fever thing came back to her, but nothing else.

"We got knocked out by some funky purple powder."

"Oh yeah…" Lera blinked up at the ceiling that seemed to be made from rock, then, carefully, she sat up and looked around. In the cot next to her was Zoro, and on the other side of Sarah lay Sanji. In front of them was Luffy, Nami, and Usopp.

"Dude… they knocked all of us out…"

"Yeah, even Sanji…" Sarah sniffed sadly, looking at the blonde next to her.

"Hey, guess what?" Sarah suddenly said, looking at Ler-hah.

Lera blinked, still rather dizzy from the fever. "What?"

"I had a dream about Zoro! He was in a red minivan."

"Wow…" Lera said softly, staring blankly at her friend.

"I know. Then I had a dream that homosexual butterflies were chasing after me, and vegetables wanted to steal my virginity." She added thoughtfully.

"Yeah, ok, that's just weird, Sarah." Lera continued to stare at her in shock before clearing her throat and glancing around again. "Maybe we should wake everyone else up…"

"Good idea. HEY EVERYONE, GUESS WHAT!" Sarah yelled as loud as her headache would allow, but it was enough to jerk everyone into consciousness again.

"What?" They all asked, groggily sitting up to blink around.

"Oh… I don't know…" Sarah shrugged, grinning at Lera.

Sanji blinked. "Eh? What's…going on…?"

"SANJI!" Sarah squealed, throwing her arms around him and tackling him off the cot to the floor.

"Eh… oh, Sarah! My lovely cupcake!" He grinned happily, returning the hug and ignoring the pain that he was getting from getting tackled to the floor.

Zoro sighed, shaking off the headache. "Where are we?"

Lera shrugged. "No idea."

"And why are you up? You're still sick." He frowned at her accusingly.

"Shut up! I'm fine!" She glared at him, irritated by his constant reminders.

They sat there for a few moments, scowling at each other, then Zoro randomly pulled her into a hug. "I'm glad you're alright."

"Eh…" She blinked blankly, blushing slightly as she, somewhat startled, returned the hug. "Yeah, I'm fine…"

Luffy, Nami, and Usopp, meanwhile, were left to deal with their waking up without hugs. Nami was rubbing the back of her head, peering up at one of the high windows, while Luffy happily jumped up, ignoring the headache altogether. "Wow… we're captured!"

"Eh… so it would seem…" Muttered Usopp, holding a hand gingerly to his head. Not only did he have a headache, when he had passed out, his skull had crashed into the ship's railing.

"About time you all woke up. What were you doing, hibernating?" A female voice spoke as a door into the room opened. A torchlight illuminated the room and the stranger. An 18 year old girl with long brown hair and glasses walked in, setting down the light source and smirking at them all. She was wearing a pale blue shirt that said "Your Grandma's Toaster" on it, along with jeans and boots.

"What? Who're you?" Usopp was the first to ask, alarmed.

"I'm Tracey. Medical "witch" of Totoro Island." She shrugged, doing the little caption thingies with her fingers as she said "witch."

"A WITCH? WOW!" Luffy cried, excited.

"Yeah. Anyway, I heard one of you had Grand Line Fever?"

Lera, no longer able to hold herself up, fell back against her pillow. "Me."

"Indeed." Tracey moved forward, pulling out a small black bottle from an array of pouches that hung from her belt. "Here, take this. Instant cure, and whatever."

"Well… that's rather easy."

Tracey shrugged. "It's an anime, what can I say?"

"Eh… right…" Lera took the bottle and drank the contents. Everyone in the room watched her, holding their breath, when Lera suddenly clutched at her throat, gurgling weakly and toppling over sideways. Zoro caught her, stunned, when Sarah, who was now sitting next to Sanji on a cot, laughed. "Oh, stop it, ya poopaw."

"Eh, you're no fun." Grinning, she sat up again and handed the bottle back. "Thanks. I feel better already. Tastes like chicken."

Nami blinked. "So… you're better?"

Lera nodded happily. "Duh."

"I knew you'd get better!" Sarah then bounded over to Lera, hugging her happily. "Know why?"

"Um…" Nami blinked. "No?"

She found Lera and Sarah grinning at her. "Cause we're gonna live FOREVER!"

They proceeded to go into song.

"_Eggs! Get your eggs here! Fresh and white eggs are heeeeerreee!"_

"_Wiggle jiggle. Yellow middle. That's the best of what you are! _

_I love you EGG!_

_White and tender, surround the center. Cozy, sitting in the crackling shell!_

_I love you!"_

Tracey, meanwhile, was dealing with Luffy.

"Wow! Are you _REALLY_ a witch?"

A sweat drop was visible on Tracey. "That's what everyone says. All I can really do is control the weather…."

"DO something!" His eyes were wide with amazement.

With a sigh, she waved her arms around and a small thundercloud appeared above Luffy. Some thunder sounded from it before a downpour rained down on the rubber man.

"_Vitamins and minerals in you. Oodles of the proteins, too!_

_Oodle Doodle!_

_Popular and perfect and… so complete in every way!_

_I love you, EGG! EGG!"_

Nami was sitting with Sanji and Zoro. "So what's the plan? There Totorans obviously aren't as friendly as we thought…"

Sanji frowned, popping in another cigarette, as his old one seemed to have disappeared. Some of his braids had come undone as well. "I saw we teach 'em a lesson in hurt. We'll fry 'em."

"We'll be outnumbered." Zoro shook his head, now used to Lera and Sarah's strange singing outbursts.

"_Come into my tummy, oh so very yummy!_

_Crack crack crack!_

_Chip-a chip away your shell and come to me!_

_Get your EGGS!"_

Nami sighed. "But then, what will we do?"

"This Tracey seems to know her way around, we can overpower her and have her lead us back to the ship…" Zoro mused, putting a hand on his chin all thoughtful like.

"_I love you!_

_Fresh egg!_

_I love you!_

_White egg!_

_Really really love you so!_

_Egg fresh, fresh egg!_

_Eggs I really love you, like the sky above!_

_Eggs are the best!"_

Usopp couldn't decide which scared him more. Lera and Sarah happily swaying from side to side, singing, or Tracey laughing at Luffy as he tried to swat away the thundercloud.

""_I love you!_

_Fresh egg!_

_I love you!_

_White egg!_

_Really really love you so!_

_Egg fresh, fresh egg!_

_365 days, I really love you so!_

_I really love you so!_

_Mmm, yummy!"_

The two of them giggled for a moment before Sarah cleared her throat and looked around. "Everyone, I have an announcement to make."

"Huh?" Everyone turned to look at her, Tracey quickly banishing the thundercloud.

"Lera has a secret she's been wanting to tell you."

Lera gasped softly. "No… Sarah… don't…"

"I must, Lera." Sarah sighed, looking grave. "Lera… her real name is Valerie."

As Sarah and Lera collapsed laughing, Sanji didn't have time to react when Sarah tackled him again. "Sanji, say 'Titanic Tuna'!"

He blinked blankly at her. "...Titanic tuna!"

As Sarah sat on Sanji's stomach, Lera sat down on the cot next to her and both girls laughed. "Say it again!"

"Titanic tuna."

"Say it again!"

"Titanic tuna."

"SAY IT AGAIN!"

"Titanic tuna."

Lera and Sarah collapsed laughing again, scaring the disturbing the crew once more with an eerie silence.

Tracey cleared her throat. "Well… I guess you want me to lead you back to your ship?"

Nami smiled brightly, grateful that they wouldn't have to do anything violent. "We'd appreciate that."

"Alright then, follow me." With a roll of her eyes, she turned on her heel and walked out of the room, muttering softly. "Certainly knows I've got nothing better to do. Stupid laptop with my stories out for repair…"

Lera and Zoro followed after her, then Sarah and Sanji, Luffy and Nami, and Usopp, who we don't really like, dead last.

Lera overheard Tracey. "Laptops? There aren't any laptops in One Piece land…"

"Eh… your face." Tracey hurriedly replied.

Something in Lera's mind clicked. "Wh-what?"

"Your face. What, are you deaf or something?" She glanced back at her, leading the group out into a deserted alleyway. Everything seemed to have been made from black rock.

"Your… your toaster's face!" Lera snapped back.

Now it was Tracey's turn to pause. "What?"

"What, are you deaf or something?" Lera mimicked, smirking.

Tracey stopped, turning to look at her sudden opponent. "Your toaster's face's grandma."

"Your toaster's face's grandma's llama." retorted Lera, her voice suddenly like steel.

"Your toaster's face's grandma's llama's face!" Tracey threw back at Lera, sounding irritated. No one could ever match Tracey in a "your face" battle, but this one newcomer seemed like a challenge…

"Your toaster's face's grandma's llama's face's toaster!"

"Your toaster's face's grandma's llama's face's toaster has a llama up its nose!"

By now, the rest of the crew was standing around Tracey and Lera, looking confused.

"Your toaster's face's grandma's llama's face's toaster has a llama up its nose's toaster!" said Lera.

"Your toaster's face's grandma's llama's face's toaster has a llama up its nose's toaster's llama's grandma!" replied Tracey.

Ler-hah took a deep breath, then… "Your toaster's face's grandma's llama's face's toaster has a llama up its nose's toaster's llama's grandma's hobo's toaster's uncle's llama's alpaca's yogurt's grandpa's brother-in-law's dog has a poopaw in it's SOCK!"

A gasp went through the crew as Tracey stared at her in shock. "Oh no you didn't…"

Lera grinned. "Oh yes I did."

She did the three snap thing before glaring at Lera. "You're going DOWN!"

"BRING IT ON! RIGHT NOW! RIGHT HERE!"

* * *

Outside Totoro Island… 

"Emily-ly, is that where you said they went?" Kyle blinked at his girlfriend.

"Yeah, there." She stuck in a new incense stick into her mouth before lighting another one and happily breathing in the smoke.

Joshu grumpily walked past. "That rubber freak better be there. I have to go lay the smack down on-"

Marshmallow Kyle accidentally whacked in the Captain in his haste to talk to the first mate. "Emily-ly, your koama is acting funny!"

"WHAT?"

* * *

-gasp- 

Such suspense!

Will Lera beat up Tracey, or will Tracey manage to beat the crap out of Ler-hah?

What's wrong with Opium, the koama?

What about the lettuce?

What the crap is up with Captain Smoker?

Find out next time… on Sanji's Cupcakes!

* * *

Woo. This took me forever to write. Especially with Sarah yelling at me to finish it… 

But, anyway… there ya go. Nate died again. I introduced Tracey.

Look! Is that a plot I see?

I had no time to proof-read it, so I'll make corrections some time later.


	7. Filler Episode 1

Ok, so first, I'd like to clear some things up with my reviews.

I'd like to say, right off the bat, thank you for reviewing. Now…

RebelWriter- Yeah, well… we've already had this discussion xD

pIeRr'S gIrL- There is no Chopper or Robin in the story because I haven't seen enough One Piece episodes to portray them correctly. And could you bring me some pancakes while you're at it? I'm pretty darn hungry…

They.Call.Me.Smith- Poor Larissa's review got cut off. But, I forgive you for not reviewing each chapter. xD

sanji pocky- I don't even see the point in thanking you anymore, Sar-hah xD

"CapT.BlacK"- Hi Kyle.

Oh, and hi, other Kyle. xD

Anna- Thanks for the suggestion xDD And thanks for the review!

And here's what I've really been wanting to get to. Kgmck-117. Alright, I believe most of your corrections were explained by the very gracious anonymous reader, but I'll clear some things up, too. Sarah and I are very certain that Sanji actually smokes. But, 4Kids edited it down to a lollipop. However, as Sarah said, we're mainly going by manga with a mix of the anime. Also, I called them the Going Merry Crew mainly because of their ship, like the Crow 2 Yo Crew. But, however, I admit, Zolo's bandana is dark green, not black. Anyway, thank you for the review!

* * *

In honor of Emily-ly's birthday, which was Oct 19th, but was just recently celebrated via a party, this is a special chapter of "Sanji's Cupcakes". A filler episode, so to speak. 

Oh, and Zoro's birthday was November 11th… Squee.

This really doesn't have anything to do with the current story line, so you don't have to read it if you don't want to!

This special filler #1 is about Emily-ly, her past, and how she was afflicted with her Devil fruit powers. Oh, and her recruitment to the Crow 2 Yo. Juuuust a little background information.

* * *

Sanji's Cupcakes 

Filler Episode #1 - "Let's See How Many Times We Can Mention Frogs"

* * *

Queen Emily-ly of Brown-Noo-Noo Island. The name itself made you scream with horror. Or whine in fear. Or whimper in terror. Or perhaps even a chilling silence would be your reply. In come cases, a nervous laugh and a shrug was the reaction. 

Not that I would know, I've never been there.

Brown-Noo-Noo Island was formed in the shape of a frog. No one knows why. No one recalls how, either. It just is.

On the very top of the frog's head, so to speak, was a large clump of oddly colored, red and white trees. It appeared that a spotted mushroom was growing from the top of the amphibian's head.

On the rest mushroom trees, as they were called, grew incense. Different ages of the trees determined the type of incense. And, to say the least, that's pretty spiffy. The white trees, however, sprouted multiple flavors of pocky, regardless to age or season.

The island's green, froggy color was provided by a thick forest which coated the entire frog. These regular trees were laden with multiple types of poisonous frogs. Growing. From the tree. Really.

It helped that most of Brown-Noo-Noo's weather, all year round, consisted of warm, pleasant days, sometimes with occasional rain.

Out of the many small villages, there was a main city centered between the two front legs of the frog island. It was called Imafrog, and it was here that Queen Emily-ly resided. The houses were shroom shaped, colored tye-dye rainbow, and the main foods were rice krispies, water, and cookies. The local library had only 5 series of books. Deathnote, Hellsing, Demon Ororon, Juvenile Orion, and A Radical Liberal's Guide to Life and Butter. But the citizens didn't complain. Not like they could…. considering their Queen…

As aforementioned, every time Queen Emily-ly was brought up somehow in a conversation, someone would pass out, have a seizure, or simply fall over and die.

Take, say, Bob and Roger.

Bob: Why, hello Roger.

Roger: Hello, Bob.

Bob: Have you seen Queen Emily-ly today?

Roger: -gurgles, foams at mouth, falls over, dies-

Bob: o.o;; Oh snap. –twitches and passes out-

Poor Roger and Bob. Anyway… back to Brown-Noo-Noo Island….

In Imafrog, there was one main building. The biggest of them all, in fact. The Queen's castle. Naturally, in the shape of a frog. The architect liked themes, you see.

At the moment, Emily-ly, the future first mate of The Crow 2 Yo, was training. The castle had a special target practice room and the Queen was busy flinging sharpened sporks into paper targets. Beside her was Opium, her loyal koama. It was holding a basket filled with the eating utensil turned weapon.

With every five sporks, another target was hopelessly decimated and immediately replaced with the next one. Emily-ly stayed silent, concentrating on her task.

"Your Highness!" A young man ran in, panting softly.

The young queen turned around, her nearly black colored eyes glaring at him. "What?"

With a black shirt, bracelets up to her elbows, and a rainbow tye-dye skirt over her jeans, she looked rather intimidating. She twirled a spork between her fingers as she frowned at the messenger. Who happened to be named Tim.

Tim took a few deep breaths. It was obvious he had sprinted. After he had recovered, he straightened and cleared his throat. "The kitchen sent me here for you to decide whether you want blue or teal butter with your rice krispies tonight for dinner…."

There was deathly silence before, finally, Emily-ly spoke in a soft voice. "You dare… to ask me…. Whether I want butter? I DON'T BELIEVE IN BUTTER!"

Tim trembled. "I… I'm sorry…"

It was obvious that Tim was new. Because on Brown-Noo-Noo island, there are rules.

Rule One: No butter

"And, even further, you go and ask me whether or not I want it to be teal or blue! TEAL! HOW DARE YOU!"

Rule Two and Three: There will be no teal or blue used at any time on the island.

Whimpering, Tim cringed and began to back away. "I'm sorry, My Queen…. It's just that Joelle, the cook… she…"

"DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM? I'M QUEEN EMILY-LY!" Her eyes blazed as she continued to yell at him.

In response, Tim gasped, clutching at his throat. Within seconds, he was twitching violently on the ground, foaming at the mouth. In a few more seconds, he was dead.

"Hmm…" Emily-ly looked down at his body, poked it once with her foot, then shrugged. "Whatever."

"You really should watch when you mention your name around the groundlings, Emily-ly…" Kyle, Emily's bodyguard, stepped out of the shadows and blinked down at the dead body. He was famed to be the only one on the island who could speak Emily-ly's name and not collapse.

"Sucks for him." Emily-ly answered simply, petting Opium absently as she heard approaching footsteps. The koama moogrunted softly in pleasure as yet another messenger dashed into the large training room.

This time, it was Sung, Imafrog's adviser. He wasn't a very good one. He blinked his nearly closed eye at Emily-ly. "My Queen, we're being attacked."

"Huh? By who?" The Queen of Brown-Noo-Noo Island blinked, tossing her spork back into Opium's basket.

"Eh… je ne sais pas, madam…" He blinked, laughing nervously.

"No French, Sung, what have I told you?"

"Eh… nani?"

"None of that either. Answer the stupid question."

"Oh, right. By the Gangster Crew." Sung smiled slightly, nodding.

The Gangster Crew. There had already been a rumor going around that they had been heading towards Brown-Noo-Noo. Guess the rumors were true.

"Oh… crap." Emily-ly dashed out of the room immediately, followed closely by Opium and Kyle, leaving Sung to blink after them. "Nani?"

* * *

Meanwhile, on the shores of Brown-Noo-Noo Island…. 

"GET ME MY ICKY STICK, DAMNIT!" The infamous Captain Joshu Wa Gorgy was storming around the freshly painted Crow 2 Yo, barking out pissed off orders. Marshmallow Kyle wobbled past him, carrying a case of Irish Punk cd's, while Larissa sat drooling over a picture of Kasey Kahne in the corner, not paying any attention to what Joshu was saying.

On the other side of the ship, Mike was searching for the aforementioned Icky Stick. Nearby, Nate, wearing his "I Heart Yaoi and Hentai" shirt, was steering the ship. Despite the fact that the ship was already at a complete stopped and the anchor was down. But, we'll let him enjoy the false hope that he was actually doing something to help.

Flicking his rainbow tipped, glamorous hair back girlishly, Joshu scanned the island's coast with his razma-tazma-genta eyes and growled, snatching the Icky Stick from Mike while Marshmallow Kyle did a jig behind him.

"_Yo…. Yoyo.. I'm.. I'm a gangster. Where my dogs at? Bark with me if you're my dog. Yo yo yo. I'm gonna give a shout-out to all the player haters…"_

Larissa came up behind them, now clutching a Dan Radcliffe picture to herself. "Where are we?"

"_I'm a gangster… I'm a straight up G. The gangster life… is the life for me."_

Mike happily joined Marshmallow Kyle in dancing and singing. The current first mate, Eric, jumped down from the Crow's Nest to blink around at them all. "Joshu, it seems that no one's attacking us yet."

"_Shooting people by day, selling drugs by night. Being a gangster is hella tight."_

Joshu growled, rolling his eyes at Larissa. "For your information, we're at Brown-Noo-Noo Island. I already told you that. And Eric…" He turned to his first mate. "No shit, Sherlock. We're waiting for the Queen to come out so we can kill her."

Eric was quick to join Marshmallow Kyle and Mike in singing. After a bit of confusion, they picked up the song a few lines from where they had left off.

"_I'm a gangster, and iced out like a freezer._

"_I'm a gangster. I don't listen to Weezer!"_

"_I dropped out of school at the age of 3."_

"_Why?"_

"_Cause all the teachers_ _tried to player-hate on me."_

"_Oh."_

"Ah, fuck it. Let's go." Captain Gorgy turned in a flurry of trench coat and rainbow tipped hair, leading the way off the ship. Larissa waved. "I'll just… stay here…." And went back to worshipping Harry Potter, while Mike, Eric, and Marshmallow Kyle followed after Gorgy, still singing.

"_Sisqo is my homie, he's a gangster, too. Me and Sisqo are the leaders of the Gangster Crew!" _

-Note, there is no Sisqo on THIS Gangster Crew, yo-

"_I like to be in jail, and he likes to sing and dance."_

"_Some say we're the perfect match…"_

Nate came last, looking confused.

"_Step off… step back…" _

"WOULD YOU THREE SHUT THE FUCK UP?" Captain Joshu exploded at them, looking pissed off as he led the way up the beach into the lush green forest. He completely ignored the bright, different colored frogs that seemed to be growing from the branches as he turned to glare at the three crew members behind him.

Mike, Marshmallow Kyle, and First Mate Eric fell silent while Nate pointed and laughed at them.

After ten minutes of walking, the trees opened up to reveal Imafrog city. The citizens froze at the terrifying sight of Joshu, a guy in a marshmallow suit, another in a Miroku outfit, Eric in his horrifically normal clothes, and Nate in his sweater. 'Cause sweaters are scary. With frantic screams, the entire population of Imafrog ran off to hide.

Walking right down the main road, heading towards the Gangster Crew, was Emily-ly, flanked by her koama and Kyle.

Joshu smirked. "Heh… that was easier than I thought…"

Mike blinked. "Eh… why are we killing her, again?"

Joshu stared off into space for a moment, thinking, then cleared his throat. "For this sake of…. Irish Punk."

"Eh... but really, why are we killing her?"

"Cause that's what pirates do."

Eric and Mike nodded. "Oh, ok."

Nate and Marshmallow Nate shrugged, rather confused.

With a snarl, Gorgy set forward. "Weapons, out!"

Mike grinned, stumbling forward as he pulled out an AK-47 out of nowhere. Eric was suddenly equipped with a rocket launcher, while Marshmallow Kyle drew two water bottles. Nate happily walked along, above weapons.

The two groups met in the cit square, frowning at each other. "Captain Joshu Wa Gorgy…" Queen Emily-ly nodded, looking irritated as Opium grunted darkly and Kyle glowered at Joshu.

"Queen Emily-ly." Gorgy replied, nodding and smirking darkly.

A gasp went up with the hidden citizens who had heard his words and bodied fell out of their hiding places, twitching or deadly still.

"So what the crap do you want?"

Joshu stared at her, surprised by her bluntness, then cleared his throat and went back to his fierce smirking. "I'm here to end your life."

Kyle's eyes widened slightly as he took a step forward. "I'll take care of…" He stopped as soon as he saw Emily-ly's extended arm blocking him. "Hold on, Kyle."

"Wah… grr…" With a sigh, he took a step back, giving Joshu a death glare.

Slowly, the Queen reached into the basket her koama was still holding and drew a spork. Waving it carefully at the pirate captain before her, she suddenly smirked and flung the fighting utensil.

At first, no one knew what happened, but then First Mate Eric suddenly gasped and fell over sideways, a spork sticking uncomfortably out of his throat.

Oh noes, he be ded.

Joshu Wa Gorgy's eyes widened for a moment before he took a step forward, brandishing his Icky Stick in a threatening matter. "HOW DARE YOU?"

"Oh, what now?" Emily-ly grinned in a mocking way, taking another spork.

They stared at each other for a long, long moment, when Nate and Marshmallow Kyle abruptly screamed and began running away. While no one had been looking, the two of them had been making faces at Opium and Marshmallow Kyle had shot a water bottle cap at the koama, who finally lost it. With a loud moogrunt, he jumped forward, galloping after the two miscreants, who in turned yelled and turned and ran away.

Captain Gorgy and Emily-ly were both staring after the three with blank expressions. You couldn't really tell with Mike, since he always had a blank expression on his face.

Finally…

"WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU TWO GOING?"

"OPIUM, COME BACK!"

The two leaders ran after the retreating group, followed closely by Mike and Kyle. Poor Eric. He be ded.

After a long sprint back through the forest, Opium followed Marshmallow Kyle and Nate up onto the Crow 2 Yo, startling Larissa. "Holy shit, what the heck is that?"

The two guys, who were hiding behind her, only shook their heads and tried to regain their breath. Soon enough, the rest of the group jogged up onto the ship deck. Emily-ly was furious. "OPIUM!"

"YOU DUMB ASSES!" Joshu was even more pissed off, stabbing his Icky Stick so violently into the ship deck that it pierced the wood and stuck there.

With a whimper, the koama returned back to its master and Captain Gorgy, realizing he had the advantage, hurriedly shoved Kyle off of the ship and ordered that the anchor be lifted. Used to quick retreats, the crew quickly set the ship to sailing away from Brown-Noo-Noo island.

Kyle, back on shore, sat gloomily in the sand, watching the black ship with chains sailing away with his queen. "Oh, crap."

Emily-ly was having the same thoughts as she saw her island steadily grow smaller and smaller, then she finally turned to see Joshu smirking at her.

"What're you grinning at?" Her eyes narrowed in suspicion.

"Oh, nothing…" He shrugged offhandedly. "Just that now… I can peacefully kill you."

With a swift twirl of his Icky Stick, Captain Gorgy took a step forward, making a sweeping motion with the weapon, fully intending to cut Emily-ly's jugular vein. But the Queen of Brown-Noo-Noo island was quickly than that. With a panicked yelp, she stumbled back and, quite by accident, fell right over the ship railing, plunging into the ocean.

Joshu peered into the dark waters. "Oh… shit." Behind him, Opium was moogrunting loudly in distress as Marshmallow Kyle and Nate struggled to tie it up.

Swiftly was Emily-ly sinking, and her breath wasn't unlimited. Already, her lungs were aching for air. Letting out a few bubbles from her mouth, the girl struggled to swim back up, but she continued to sink. In seconds, she had already reached the sea floor. There, a giant frog sat, staring at her. Emily-ly stared back and the frog slowly extended a webbed hand. In the palm sat a bright yellow fruit, resembling something between a pineapple and an odd berry.

With a strange look at the amphibian, Emily-ly took the fruit and ate it despite the fact that she barely had any breath left in her lungs. A tingling feeling spread over her as soon as she had swallowed. With a bright smile, the frog bounded forward and fell apart into hundreds of smaller frogs. The mass of them wrapped around the queen. The moment she was secure, the frogs, in one synchronized motion, began swimming up towards the surface. With every kick, their speed increased until the green group was nothing but a blur in the water.

It didn't take long to break the surface and in an instant, the frogs created a squishy surface to hold up Emily-ly, who was coughing and taking deep frantic breaths. As soon as she was content with the whole being able to breathe thing. Brushing her dark hair out of her face, she sat up and blinked. "What the crap?"

She thought back to the fruit and gasped sharply. "A devil fruit! Woah…." She pointed at a single frog at the edge of her living platform, willing it to jump up and dance. Obligingly, the amphibian bounded up onto the back of another one of its fellows and slowly but surely began tap-dancing.

Emily-ly stared at her hand. "Woah… I can control frogs…"

She was jolted out of her discovery as the Crow 2 Yo sailed up behind her. Joshu leaned over the railing. "Oy! You!"

With a soft growl, Emily-ly swiftly commanded her froggy pals to create a set of stairs leading up to the deck of the vessel. Stepping carefully, the girl at last stepped back onto the deck of the ship to have the whole crew stare at her.

Larissa blinked. "You have Devil Fruit powers?"

"Er… yeah, I guess so…" She checked her wrists to make sure all her bracelets were in place.

Joshu wasn't slow. At least, that's what he thought. A plan formed in his mind. Having a crew member with powers… certainly would be useful. And Emily-ly had already proved that she could take care of herself. He grinned, stepping forward. "Tell you what…."

Queen Emily-ly drew herself as best she could, considering her wet and dripping clothes. "What?"

"How about you like to be my first mate? Seeing as you killed my other one…"

The proposal shocked the girl, but she wasn't too slow either. Besides, she was bored now. Who knows? Could befun."Yeah, ok, sure."

The former Queen Emily-ly's rapid reply surprised Captain Gorgy, but he grinned. "Alright. Welcome to the Crow 2 Yo, Emily-ly."

And they sailed off into the sunset to live happily ever after.

Until, 15 minutes later, Joshu and Emily-ly got into a fight over whether Opium could stay on the ship.

But we don't really care about that.

* * *

So there ya go. Happy Birthday, Emily-ly. 

The regular story line will return shortly, not to fear!


	8. Vicious Lettuces Attack!

Introooo!

I have nothing to saaayyyy!

Thanks for the revieeewwssss!

Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire owns my souuulll!

Squeee!

* * *

Sanji's Cupcakes 

Chapter Seven – "Vicious Lettuces Attack!"

* * *

On the last cupcake of Sanji's Cupcakes…. 

The Straw Hat Crew was introduced to the leader of Totoro Island, Wafehl. However, just when things were getting pleasant, the Totorans captured our heroes. What does this mean to Sarah and Lera, and when did Captain Smoker get into the picture? Huh? HUH?

I thought so -.-

Still out in open sea, the Gangster Crew is hopelessly marooned on a tiny rock until Kyle comes and rescues our evil antagonists with the help of Care Bear Power!

The Straw Hat Crew then found themselves in an infirmary and Lera was cured with the help of Totoro Medical Witch, Tracey! However, just as they were being helped to escape, Lera and Tracey launched into a deadly "Your face" duel.

Meanwhile, on the Care Bear Ship, something is wrong with Opium, the koama!

What will happen?

WHAT WILL HAPPEN?

ZOMG!

* * *

"You're going DOWN!" 

"BRING IT ON! RIGHT NOW! RIGHT HERE!"

The two girls took on fighting positions, glaring daggers at each other while the rest of the Going Merry crew stood at a safe distance from them. There was an eerie silence in the air. Sarah fidgeted, clinging to Sanji's arm while he observed with a frown. Zoro was looking strangely calm, but Luffy was looking ready to squeal with excitement. Usopp and Nami were the only ones who really looked concerned.

Lera growled softly. "Come on…. bring it."

Tracey smirked. "Oh, it's BROUGHT!"

Before anyone could really make a move, a loud thud was heard and Tracey was suddenly standing with a blank, surprised expression on her face. A large onion fell to the ground and Sarah did a little jig of victory. "Take that, vampire!"

Lera sighed, rubbing her eyes in disbelief. "Sarah…"

Tracey turned, glowering at Sar-hah. "What the heck was that for?"

Sarah stuck her tongue out. "I had to. You're a fluffin' vampire, so I had to throw an onion at you."

The girl received an odd look from the Totoro witch. "You mean garlic, right?"

After a moment of blinking and looking confused, Sarah smiled brightly. "Oh, right… that's what I meant."

There was a collective sigh from everyone as Lera finally walked forward and picked up the onion, then offered her hand to Tracey. "Look, sorry about that… let's just drop it."

Tracey, after another glance at Sarah, smiled. "Agreed. Now, c'mo-"

Her sentence was abruptly cut off as Sarah screamed bloody murder. Everyone then gasped, not understanding what was wrong. At the girl's feet was a small snail, staring up at her. "IT'S STALKING MEEEEE!"

Still screaming, Sar-hah turned and ran away.

"Wait, Sarah!" Lera quickly dropped the onion and sprinted after her friend.

The remained lot exchanged confused looks, then shrugged and followed both Lera and Sarah.

Luckily, it seemed that Sarah's inner compass was working, and her frantic running led them group right back to the docks. She stopped, looking around while Lera leaned against her knees, trying to catch her breath. The rest caught up soon enough, panting as well. Lera finally sighed and nudged her friend. "Sarah, I'm pretty sure that snail wasn't stalking you."

Sarah pouted. "Yes it was…" Dejected, she sank to the ground and began to doodle with her finger in the sand. Sanji slowly started to creep up in hopes of sitting next to her when Lera noticed and bared her teeth at him. "BACK OFF! MINE!"

"Wah!" With a surprised, Sanji-like squeak, Sanji backed off while Lera, in a huff, sat down next to Sarah to watch her doodle.

* * *

"Emily-ly, your koama is acting funny!" 

"WHAT?"

Emily-ly ran from her spot, jumping right over the fallen Captain to where Marshmallow Kyle had been pointing. Indeed, something was wrong with Opium, who was weakly moogrunting, slumped into a huddle on the floor. "Oh, Opium… woah, holy crap!"

She jumped back as three savage green things suddenly zoomed at her, snarling. Upon closer examination, the triad of attackers turned out to be vicious, floating lettuce heads.

And you all thought that I would never bring up lettuce in this story…

Emily-ly's eyes narrowed dangerously. She was annoyed enough as it was with crazy Care Bears dancing around her feet. Flicking her nearly finished incense stick over the ship railing, she would have also pulled up her sleeves. If she had had any.

The attack lettuces turned their attention back to Emily-ly, baring their lettucy fangs. The girl simply grabbed her bag filled with florescent orange frogs and, taking three of them in her hands, tossed one at each violent vegetable. The lethal amphibians stuck firmly onto the vegetables, all three of which began to screech and sink to the floor. After a moment, the three frogs bounded back into their bag with the rest of their fellows. What they left behind was the three corpses of the lettuces.

Emily-ly looked them over. The heads had become pale white and shriveled. With a look of disgust, she kicked the dead vegetables into the sea and went to inspect her pet koama. "Opium, you alright?"

With a nod and a soft moogrunt, the koama slowly stood and, after petting the top of his head, Emily-ly walked back with him to the rest of the group. Kyle was busy trying to shake off a particularly stubborn Care Bear that had firmly attached itself to his leg, while Marshmallow Kyle, Larissa, and Mike had occupied themselves in poking some of the evil bears to death. Captain Joshu Wa Gorgy was nowhere to be seen.

First mate of the late Crow 2 Yo, Emily-ly, looked at the cave leading into the depths of Totoro Island. They were about to enter it. With a sigh, she pulled put another incense stick when Joshu walked back up onto deck. Everyone went still as their attention was raptly caught with the sight of Gorgy's hair.

It was blue. Still with rainbow tips, but… it was blue.

"Isn't it awesome?" Joshu beamed with pride as the whole crew gaped at him, mostly with horror and amusement.

Laughing her head off, Emily-ly finally spoke. "You look like a moron."

"Why, you…." Joshu stepped forward, but just at that moment, everything went dark. The Care Bear ship had entered the cave of Totoro Island, and not even red eyes of the bat-people greeted them. Screams of fear went up from the Care Bears and they all exploded into fiery balls of cuteness, thankfully lighting the whole dark passage. Now everyone could see.

Soon enough, they saw the end of the tunnel up ahead.

* * *

Tracey sighed, rubbing the back of her head. "It's still really weird that no one's here…" 

Zoro shrugged, frowning. "It's weird that the ropes attached to both the dock and to the Going Merry refuse to come off."

"We're all stuck here, it's hopeless." Usopp groaned, looking miserable.

Nami shook her head firmly. "No way. We'll find some way to get out of here."

"Maybe we should just wait for the Totorans to come back." Luffy suggested.

With a sigh, Sanji frowned at the rubber boy. "No can do. Those are bad guys, remember?"

Lera and Sarah, meanwhile, were still sitting on the sandy beach, moping. They were both rather sad. Sarah sighed, looking around at all her doodles. "I miss my cat, Woody… I miss my parents, too."

Lera nodded glumly, pulling off the two bandana halves that were still tied to her arms. It seemed that her two wounds that Joshu had given her were gone already. She tucked the ripped cloth into her back pocket. "Me too. And to think, we've only been gone, really… about three days." She glanced down at her watch and gasped. "Woah… Sarah…"

"What?"

"It's already, like, Thanksgiving back home."

"WHAT?" Sar-hah's eyes widened in shock. "When we left, it was only the beginning of October! How is it almost the end of November back home already? What the crap?"

"I dunno…" Lera stared down at her watch for a moment longer before shrugging. "Guess time here goes by a lot slower. We've missed Halloween and Thanksgiving."

"No way. We're gonna make Sanji make us a big Thanksgiving Dinner." Sarah nodded resolutely, frowning.

Lera looked skeptical. "Where would he get the turkey?"

"I dunno. But he's Sanji, he can do anything!"

A small sweat drop appeared on the side of Lera's head. "Well, I guess you've got a point there…"

Sar-hah blinked, pointing at the sweat drop. "Look! You sweat dropped! Like in an anime!"

"Woah!" Ler-hah gasped, looking out of the corner of her eye to see the small rain-dropped shaped blue thing. "DUDE!"

"Wait, hold on…." Sarah quickly scrambled to her feet and took on a dramatic pose. "I'm… Sarah P!" Suddenly, a background of bright green and dancing pocky popped up behind her.

"DUDE!" Lera exclaimed again, standing as well to poke the background. "Cool… lemme try!" She stood next to Sarah. "YAOI POWER!" The pocky covered greeness changed to moving squiggly lines.

Both girls turned around to watch the moving lines, entranced. "Ooo…. Ahhhh…."

Tracey walked over to the two, planning on informing them of their situation, but then saw the girls squealing and acting like their hyper selves again. With a frown, she wondered why she was the one forced to talk to the two maniacs. Sighing, she finally approached them. "Hey, you two…"

"Huh?" Lera and Sarah stopped dead, blinking at the Totoro Island Witch. They were frozen in half giddy-school girl dancing moves.

Tracey cleared her throat. "It seems you're stuck here for a while until the Totorans come back."

"Oh, well… that's just great." Lera shrugged, not really minding.

"We can wait." Sarah nodded, suddenly in a disturbingly calm state.

"We'll be safe, though… I've got backup."

"Oh, really?" Lera blinked, adjusting her two swords at her hips. "Who?"

Tracey simply snapped her fingers. In an instant, three toasters popped up out of nowhere, each equipped with a pair of toast wings. "My minions. Every witch has some."

"Eh… but… toasters?" Ler-hah was staring at the flying appliances as they floated around her head.

"SQUEE! FLYING TOASTER MINIONS! SO KAWAII!" Sarah was busy squealing, when she, rather by accident, looking down to spot a snail near her again. "It's stalking meeee!" Screaming, the girl ran away again, this time going to hide behind Sanji.

Tracey watched Sarah run before looking down at the snail. "Stupid stalker snail… get it, Terry."

One of the toasters flew down at the small shelled creature. Opening wide its pair of jaws on the top of it's … head, Terry the toaster minion swallowed the snail whole and cheerfully returned to circling around Lera.

Sarah, meanwhile, was clinging to her favorite cook's arm and peering at where Tracey and Lera still stood. "Stupid poopaw snail…"

"Are you alright, my dear Sarah-san?" Sanji asked sweetly, standing in front of Sarah todefend her from the evil mollusk.

The rest of the crew curiously looked over at Lera and Tracey too. It appeared they were now running to the edge of the beach now where the water came in.

"What do you think that's about?" Nami finally asked, voicing everyone's curiosity.

"I'll be right back." Luffy volunteered and bounded forward. Once he reached the two girls, he poked Lera on the shoulder. "What're you looking at?"

Lera looked up from where she had been kneeling in the sand, blinking at Luffy. "We found these dead things."

What had washed up on shore was none other than the three poisoned, deadish bodies of the attack lettuces from the Care Bear ship.

Speaking of which…

Sarah gasped, pointing at the tunnel which they knew lead out of the tunnel. A huge, rainbow-colored ship was gliding towards them. The deck was covered with brightly burning… whatcha-ma-who-thingies.

Sanji protectively pulled Sarah close. "Yo, what's that?"

But Sarah would have none of it. She bounded forward, dragging Sanji with her towards Lera, completely disregarding the three pale white blobs of lettuce. "Ler-hah, guess what that is!"

"Huh?" Lera stood, staring first at her friend, then out at the tunnel to also spot the ship. "Oh …. Don't tell me… "

"It's the Care Bears ship!" Sarah grinned, hopping up and down while Sanji, next to her, stared in confusion at the rainbow colored ship.

"What're those burning thingies?" The CCCP-shirt wearing girl wondered aloud as Tracey also stood, letting Terry and the other two toaster minions, Prat and Chet, go at the dead lettuces.

"Yeah, that's… bizarre." The medical witch agreed.

Luffy's eyes widened. "Woah… it's all… rainbow…"

Soon enough, the rest of them joined Lera, Sarah, Sanji, Luffy, and Tracey at the edge of the beach. In silence, they watched the stranger ship drift in next to the Going Merry in the dock.

Familiar voices began to drift towards the Straw Hat Crew and Tracey. Sar-hah and Ler-hah looked simultaneously at each other, then back at the ship as a group of people climbed down from the sea vessel onto the dock. They all appeared to be arguing among themselves and once they got closer, the two girls squealed in recognition.

Lera grinned, throwing her arms up. "IT'S RAINBOW HAIR MAN!"

"AND THE MARSHMALLOW DUDE!" Sarah did a little dance.

They began skipping towards them. The Gangster Crew and Kyle stopped dead as the Straw Hat Crew and Tracey just stared after the two girls in bewilderment.

Joshu Wa Gorgy squinted past his dark blue bangs to see who the two figures were, then looked aghast. "Oh shit."

Emily-ly's incense stick that hung out of her mouth wobbled around precariously as the first mate squinted as well. "Who's that?"

the rubber moron'sGorgy scowled. "Oh, c'mon, don't you recognize ship?" He jerked a thumb back at the Going Merry.

The first mate blinked at the pirate ship, then finally at the now recognizable Lera and Sarah. "Crap."

The girls skidded to a stop right in front of the Gangster Crew, grinning widely. "Hiya." Lera waved.

"HI!" Sarah waved with both hands.

Kyle looked at Lera, recalling her, and sighed. "It's you again…."

"Huh?" She blinked at him for a moment, then her eyes seemed to burst into flame. "J0000!"

Luckily for Kyle, the rest of the Straw Hat Crew caught up to them and Zoro quickly rapt out a sharp order. "Lera, down!"

Defeated again, Lera squeaked and flopped over just as she was about to tackle Kyle. Sarah gaped down at her for a moment before, unperturbed, she went back to waving.

The air quickly grew tense as Captain Gorgy glared coldly at the enemy crew before him. "Grr…. Monkey D. Luffy…."

Luffy beamed at him. "Yep, that's me!"

"Not to mention these two morons, Lera and Sarah."

Marshmallow Kyle grinned. "Whose name's rhyme!"

"RAWR!" Sarah growled, Lera darting quickly to her feet. It all happened in a flash, but Marshmallow Kyle was suddenly blown back by a gust of air and flopped over, the smell of burning marshmallow filling the air.

Back to the two girls, Lera was crouching with her arms crossed. It looked as if she had done something along the lines of an "Oni Giri" move, while electricity was still gently sparking from Sarah's fingers.

Except for the sounds of Marshmallow's Kyle's angry protests, everything was silent. Lera, blinking, sheathed her swords again. "How'd we do that? Alchemy?"

"I don't think so, Lera. That's from Fullmetal Alchemist." Sarah shook her head.

"Oh… um… chakra?"

"Naruto."

"Lovely eyepatch?"

"Jubei-Chan."

"Windscar?"

"InuYasha."

"Alter Powers?"

"That's S-cry-Ed."

"Oh… maybe it was just us, then."

"Yeah, I think that's the right one, Ler-hah."

"Yeah, well… shut up…" Lera flushed, rubbing the back of her head.

Gorgy had enough. "What the hell did you do that for?"

Lera blinked, then looked at Sarah. The two friends shrugged, but Sarah answered for the two of them. "He's just annoying."

Growling, he brushed some of his bangs behind his ear and glared at the pair of them. "You… are about to get the smackdown laid on you… by me."

Zoro and Sanji stepped forward in front of Lera and Sarah. Sanji looked serious, blowing out a puff of smoke. "Not if we have anything to say about it."

The green-haired swordsman beside him smirked. "And trust me, we do have something to say about it."

Tracey raised her hand feebly. "I'll just, uh… stay here."

Usopp quickly joined her. "Yeah, we'll stay behind to uh… watch your backs."

Mike, meanwhile, had run back to Marshmallow Kyle. After blinking and sniffing, he took a chunk out of the roasted suit and popped it into his mouth. "Dude! Toasty marshmallow goodness!"

Larissa looked back at Mike and sighed, shaking her head. "Oi… hopeless."

Emily-ly was dazedly trying to relight an incense stick with two halves of an m&m cookie, Kyle standing protectively in front of her while Opium had been left behind to guard the ship.

Joshu looked ready to explode. "Alright, that's it. All you assholes are seriously starting to piss me off. If I wasn't so fucking emo, I'd kill all of you."

Lera, after peering over Zoro's shoulder for a long while, randomly pounced forward at Gorgy. The force of her tackle and the fact that she had been using her Devil Fruit powers carried both Joshu and Lera back to the town. The Captain ended up getting slammed into a wall of a nearby house and for a minute, no one could see what exactly Lera was doing to him, but they could see Gorgy struggling and yelling "Get the fuck off! It fucking hurts!"

Finally, smiling proudly, she stepped away from Joshu to reveal his hair. It had been roughly forced into a high pony tail on top of his head. The rest of his hair was thrown haphazardly all over his face. As both Crews fell over laughing, Lera returned to stand next to her Noo-Noo, Sar-hah. On the other side stood Zoro, who grinning, raised an eyebrow. "Well… that was one way to do it."

Smiling serenely, Lera floated up a few inched off the ground and did a few turns in the air. "He deserved it and I couldn't help myself."

Just as Joshu shot out both of his machetes out at Lera (they fell short by a few feet), a flutter of wings and soft hissing interrupted the moment. Hundred upon hundreds of Totorans abruptly flew out from all directions, quickly surrounding The Gangster Crew, the Straw Hat Crew, Tracey, and Kyle.

"Oh… crap." They all said at the same time, looking around.

Wafehl stepped forward, hissing. "I'm afraid we must now take you to Captain Smoker. Please do not resist."

Captain Gorgy didn't like to take shit from anyone. Verbally _or_ literally. "Oh, please, who the hell do you think I am? I'll lay the smackdown on all of y'all."

Wafehl sighed, lowering his head in disappointment. "Then we must take you by force."

Lera and Sarah stepped forward. "BRING IT!"

* * *

Wee! And yet another cliffhanger. 

Squoo. So… anyway. Sarah is actually now drawing character sketches for the fic, and also with a comic to go along with it. Once I beg Sarah to borrow the papers, I'll scan them in.

I actually don't like this chapter. I'm sorry. My noo-noo made me do it.


	9. LSD

Yeah, so, uh… long time no update. Despite meh author's note. Feh.

Thanks, everyone, for reviewing.

I can't think of anything else to say except thanks to Sarah, my editor, for going through the whole fic and changing "Zolo" to "Zoro"… because, apparently, it's that big of a deal.

Anyways, I apologize for the crappiness of that last chapter. I hated it, too.

* * *

Sanji's Cupcakes 

Chapter Eight – "Luffy in the Sky with Diamonds"

* * *

On the last cupcakes of Sanji's Cupcakes… 

The Gangster Crew met up with the Straw Hat Crew.

And that's kinda it.

'Cause the chapter sucked.

So now, we join our antagonists and protagonists are being attacked by Totorans!

Oh snap.

* * *

Wafehl sighed, lowering his head in disappointment. "Then we must take you by force."

Lera and Sarah stepped forward. "BRING IT!"

"Uh… yeah… bring… it." Tracey yelled half-heartedly, looking warily at the hoards of bat people around them.

Luffy was looking around as well, his mouth open with astonishment. "Wow... that's a lot of meat."

Zoro and Sanji were standing protectively near Lera and Sarah. The swordsman frowned, "That's not just a lot of meat, Luffy…"

Sanji nodded, coolly blowing out a stream of cigarette smoke. "Yeah, that's a lot of fangs and claws, too."

Sarah nodded wisely. "Like venison."

"That's deer meat, Sar-hah…" Lera corrected.

"Right… that's what I meant." She nodded firmly, smiling cheerfully.

"Mmm… venison." The two girls said at the same time, Wafehl and the incoming attack forgotten.

Nate stepped forward out of nowhere. "Venison is my grandmother!"

Sarah then began beating Nate to death with a glue stick. "THIS IS FOR MY HEARTBURN, YOU BASHTURD!"

And then Nate died.

Or he would have, if he was still alive.

Lera blinked. "You need Pepto-Bismol… stupid."

Larissa darted forward and joined Lera in singing. "Nausea, heartburn, indigestion, upset stomach, diarrhea, YAY PEPTO-BISMOL!"

Sarah beamed. "Now in cherry!"

There was an awkward silence for a moment, where Lera and Larissa blinked at each other, wondering what the crap just happened, when Wafehl hissed softly and the Totoran clan attacked all at once.

Both crews were covered with bat people in seconds and, even after struggling for a few moments, they were all overwhelmed. And, that's a lot of people to overwhelm. Lera, Sarah, Luffy, Zoro, Sanji, Nami, Usopp, Tracey, the toaster minions, Emily-ly, Nate, Mike, Larissa, Kyle, Marshmallow Kyle, and Opium. Even Captain Gorgy, who, despite his attempts to lay the smack down, was tackled by five Totorans to the ground.

More purple powder was used to overwhelm them all, overwhelmy style, and both crews, along with Tracey, collapsed, unconscious, without much of a battle. This left the Totorans an easy task of dragging off all of them to a certain Captain Smoker…

* * *

Sarah, now having the knack of waking up before everyone, slowly opened her eyes with a groan. She had another headache from the powder, and this did nothing to help matters as she now saw that she was bound with rope as well. Around her lay all of her friends, and all of the Gangster Crew, as well. Indeed, there was Sanji, leaning gently against her shoulder, and Lera and Zoro was slumped together not too far off. Now, if only she could get this rope off… 

"Good work, Wafehl… I'm impressed"

Sarah froze, remembering that voice. "Captain Stoner!" She murmured softly, closing her eyes to feign unconsciousness again.

The next voice turned out to be Wafehl himself. "You promised to release my daughter, Smoker."

"Ah… that…" The infamous Captain Smoker chuckled darkly. "I'm afraid I can't do that."

"What?" For the first time, Sarah heard the Totoran leader raise his voice in anger. She risked opening one eye to see the two, Totoran King and Navy Captain, standing not too far off. Wafehl looking furious, his leathery wings spread out behind him. Smoker, on the other hand, looked rather calm with his usual stream of smoke flowing out of his half-open mouth.

Sar-hah, seeing that the two of them were occupied, scooched herself over to Lera, whom she nudged gently. "Lera… Ler-hah... wake up!"

Ler-hah, however, didn't react and kept on dozing, her head resting peacefully against Zoro's shoulder. Irritated, Sarah stretched out a hand and sent a small shock through her friend's body by poking her arm.

The now quite awake Lera yelped loudly in pain, jumping up and floated straight up. Zoro toppled over sideways, no longer having Lera to support him. Sarah could only watch with a blank expression as her poopaw, still floating up, bashed into one of the many mast poles with her head and tumbled back to deck. It also just so happened that she smashed right onto Zoro, who got squished, but at least the two of them had woken up.

Along with everyone else.

Joshu awoke with a growl. Something that sounded like "Kyle, bring me my furby… it plays Irish punk through its ass…"

Emily-ly giggled and toppled over. "More incense…" Opium moogrunted with worry, nudging his owner.

Marhmallow Kyle, no longer in his marshmallow suit but in jeans and a dark red sweatshirt, simply blinked and looked around. "What… the fuck?"

Larissa and Mike did the same thing, while Kyle just opened his eyes and stared around before noticing Wafehl proceeding to glower at him.

Luffy's eyes popped open to observe his surroundings and grin, noticing Captain Smoker. "Hey, it's you again!"

Nami and Usopp awoke confused and simply blinked, looking around.

Meanwhile, Sanji was wriggling towards Sarah. "My dear cupcake, are you alright?"

Sarah blinked, nodding. "I'm fine, Sanji. Zoro and Ler-hah aren't, though…"

Zoro groaned in pain, pinned to the ground, while Lera lay giggling dizzily on his back, a huge lump on her head.

"Oh, sure, don't ask me how I'm doing. I see how it is… Ole." Tracey muttered, summoning her toaster minions to simply eat off her binds.

Smoker, ignoring the furious Wafehl, strode forward towards the whole group. "Finally awake, huh?"

"HI!" Luffy grinned cheerfully at him, trying to wave while having his arms tired to his sides.

The Captain's eyes narrowed. "Rubber boy… you and I have a score to settle…"

"Release my daughter first!" Wafehl hissed.

"YEAH, LET ME GO!" Seerup, no one had seen, was still tied to the mast pole. She looked just as aggravated as her father.

Sarah squeaked. "Who the crap said that?"

"ME!" The Princess of Totoro Island replied angrily, struggling against her binds.

Lera, finally coming to her senses, tumbling off Zoro and sat up, taking in her surroundings and breaking the tense atmosphere with… "Hey, it's old Zoro!"

"Huh?" Everyone said in unison, turning to look at Captain Smoker.

The Navy Captain blinked for a moment before growling. "How dare you… you little brat."

Lera glared right back, not even noticing Tashigi, who was still crouched in the corner of the ship, murmuring words to her swords. "C'mon! Bring it! PEAS!"

But just as Smoker took a step towards Lera, a flying toaster came out of nowhere, ramming into his head. Tracey, beaming, walked forward as Old Zoro slumped over, unconscious. She snapped her fingers. "Cockroach, bitch."

Prat, shaking itself off, floated up into the air before flying forward to begin the task of chewing away everyone's ropes.

Joshu grumbled. "I would've thought that of that…"

No one hear him, though. Lera and Sarah grinned as their bonds fell away because of Prat's handiwork. "Yay, Tracey!" They exclaimed in unison, standing.

"Thank you, thank you…" The Totoran Witch bowed.

Wafehl ran to his daughter, quickly slashing through her binds. As reunited father and daughter stood, the rest of the Navy crew surrounded them.

Tashigi stepped forward, smirking. "Maybe you beat Captain Smoker, but you won't get through us."

Lera and Sarah grinned. "Oh really?"

Sanji and Zoro, their binds also cut, stood. Sanji looked at all of them rather seriously. "We'd like to see you try."

Zoro smirked, which made Lera almost collapse with giddy-schoolgirl ness. "C'mon, punks."

Joshu stood as well, two machetes sliding out of his sleeves again. "You're gonna be sorry, dumbasses."

Nami, Luffy, Kyle, Emily-ly, Opium and Marshmallow Kyle got up as well. Usopp, Mike and Larissa were still waiting to be untied.

It was tense, to say the least. Our heroes and the enemies of ours heroes, all facing off against the greatest enemy of all!

High cholesterol.

I mean, the Navy.

Just as the battle was about to start, the door leading below deck opened and a guy named Otis walked out. "Oh, hey guys… I'm high, ok?" And with that, he went back below deck.

Sarah and Lera stood next to each other. Too sugar-crazed now to care, they took battle positions and yelled… well, they yelled something so terribly incoherent, we don't really know what they yelled. But we know it involved French fries and a hobo.

With that, the battle began. Lera, Zoro, and Tashigi all drew swords while Sarah ran right into a gaggle of the Navy-ma-bobs, flinging out electricity this way and that. Sanji was using his legs to the best of his ability. Captain Gorgy was laying the smack down, a flurry of black trench coat and blades, while Emily-ly was busy throwing her sharpened sporks with deadly accuracy. Luffy did what he usually did while Nami tried to untie Usopp, Mike and Larissa, as Tracey had summoned Terry, Prat, and Chet all to her aid and sicked 'em all on the sorry Navy poopaws.

Marshmallow Kyle was shooting away at the enemy with bottle caps while Kyle was somehow shooting out unclasped safety pins from the tips of his fingers, singing "The Future Freaks Me Out" quietly under his breath. To add to the chaos, Wafehl and Seerup had run off, leaving the army of Totorans to deal with the rest of the Navy still on shore. To add even more to the confusion, Lera and Sarah were singing again.

"_Picture yourself in a boat on a river, with tangerine trees and marmalade skies."_

Slash slash, shoot shoot, kill kill. "Argh."

"_Somebody calls you, you answer quite slowly, a girl with kaleidoscope eyes."_

The two friends were actually forced now to yell this at the top of their lungs to hear each other over the battle cries and assorted noises.

"_Cellophane flowers of yellow and green, towering over your head._

_Look for the girl with the sun in her eyes, and she's gone."_

No one else seemed to have noticed Sarah and Lera's song, being so busy trying to kill each other.

"_**Lucy in the sky with diamonds!**_

**_Lucy in the sky with diamonds!"_**

The two of them started singing that line over and over at the top of their lungs, regardless of the next words in the song. Opium, meanwhile, was so caught up in the violent excitement that when Nate ran out on deck, holding a plastic sword, the koama moogrunted angrily and ate Nate in one bite.

Except Nate's dead, so scratch that.

The battle, soon enough, began to die down. Sarah was running after a whimpering Navy insubordinate, who now hid behind a crate. "Mr. Yaoi, don't be shy… come out and play…"

Lera was sitting and poking the still unconscious and rather stomped over Captain Smoker. "Old Zoro… Captain Stoner… wake up…"

She paused for a moment to take a look around before noticing a rather important detail. They were outside now. The Going Merry, along with the Care Bear ship, were now moored alongside the Navy vessel.

Captain Gorgy stomped over to her, flicking the blood off of his machetes and flipping his hair back. He noticed that Lera was still torturing Smoker and frowned, sheathing his pair of weapons. He held out a hand to help her up. "Just leave him alone, will ya?"

"Huh?" She took his hand, standing and blinked. "Oh, hi Gorgy!"

He frowned for a moment, then blinked. "Who're you again?"

"Lera. Nice to meet you. But I know you, you're…"

"Captain Joshu Wa Gorgy."

The two of them shook hands briefly, stared at each other, before clearing their throats and walking away quickly.

Lera, suddenly realizing that Joshu's hair was blue, turned around. "Have a smurftastic day, Papa Smurf!" She yelled after him.

He flipped her off in response, not even stopping in his bouncing walk.

Nami, meanwhile, sighed, taking on the role of captain meanwhile as she looked around. The battle was over. The good guys had won. Duh. "Well, we should probably put these bodies somewhere…"

Gorgy stepped forward. "I call this ship. I'm not going on that piece of shit again." He pointed at the Care Bear ship not too far off.

Kyle nodded. "I second that."

Nami shrugged. "Fine. You can get the bodies off this ship, then."

Joshu frowned, then turned to his crew. "Alright, you assholes, get this bullshit off my ship!"

Emily-ly sat down in the corner, leaning against Opium, and started up a new box of incense. Kyle sat nearby, looking bored, while the rest of the Gangster Crew set to clearing the Navy ship.

Clearing his throat again, Joshu kicked the Navy craft. "I re-name this piece of crap to... _The Crow 2 Yo, Bish._ Any objections?"

His crew quickly shook their heads. "No, none at all."

Emily-ly shrugged, barely seen past all the smoke around her. "I'll paint it rainbow later."

Lera, Sarah and Tracey were standing on the shore of Totoro Island with Wafehl, Seerup, and Panny. The Straw Hat crew was already on board the Going Merry, preparing to set sail.

Wafehl smiled fanglike. "Thank you for all your help, Lera and Sarah. I wish you well on your journey."

Lera grinned, Sarah hiding behind her and muttering about onions. "No problem. It was fun."

Seerup matched her father's smile. "Come back anytime."

"We promise we won't try to kill you again." Panny smirked.

Sarah scowled, but Lera only nodded. "Okies."

"I'm… I'm going too!" Tracey suddenly blurted out.

Wafehl blinked in response. "Tracey? Are you sure?"

She nodded. "Yeah. These guys don't have a doctor… and I never really liked it here anyway…"

The Leader was about to argue when his two children shoved him backwards and answered for their father simultaneously. "It's ok. Have a nice journey! Bye!"

"Bye!" Lera, Sarah, and Tracey all waved goodbye, heading up on deck of the Going Merry. They leaned against the railing, still waving as the rest of the Totorans finished up shoving Smoker and his crew up on deck of the Care Bears ship.

_The Going Merry_ and the renamed _The Crow 2 Yo, Bish_ were just setting sail when everyone heard Smoker. "WHAT? THEY'RE GONE? AFTER THEM!"

It was rather convenient, then, that a storm started up just at that moment, sweeping away the three ships in three different directions and causing the Totorans to scramble back into their island/cave.

And so ended the visit at Totoro Island.

* * *

­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­About 4 hours later, _The Going Merry_ was far out at sea and out of the storm. Everyone was happily sitting in the kitchen and Sanji, after persuasion from his lovely cupcake, had made Thanksgiving dinner. 

Lera sighed, leaning back in her chair and full of fish. Which was served as a substitute for turkey. "Well, that was an interesting adventure…"

Frowning, Sarah looked up from her drawing of Sanji to look at Ler-hah. "Dude… like… what the crap?"

"I'm sorry, it's 'cause you're naked during the day, isn't it?"

Sanji blinked blankly. "WHAT?"

He quickly received a smack in the face as Tracey chucked Chet at him. "Get out of my house, you perv!"

Sarah pouted, going back to her sketchpad. "That's not very nice…"

Zoro shook his head and started reaching for the bowl of mashed potatoes. Lera and Sarah stopped dead, speaking at the same time excitedly.

"He's going for the potatoes…"

His hand got closer…

"Will he take one?"

… and closer….

"WILL HE TAKE ONE?"

At the last second, he grabbed the salad, resulting in the two girls collapsing with laughter. "No, he took an onion instead!"

Nami was busy looking over a map, ignoring everyone else, while Usopp mumbled something about going outside for some fresh air (Sarah muttered that he probably went to take a crap). Luffy was actively eating and Tracey was reading a book, her toaster minions gone for the moment.

Sanji chuckled softly, lighting a cigarette. "You just don't know how to treat the ladies, Zoro…"

The green haired swordsman stopped dead. "And what do you mean by that?"

"I'm sayin'… you got Lera, a beautiful girl, and you don't even make a move. How lame is that?"

"Oh, so I should be clutching at her all the time like you do with Sarah, huh?"

Lera and Sarah blinked, watching the two guys go at it.

"Don't bring my steaming soufflé of love into this!"

"Then don't bring Lera into it, either!"

"Why I oughta…"

"What're you going to do? Beat me with your curly eyebrow?"

"And what are you going to do? Wave your earrings at me?"

The girls winced. "Ooo… cold."

Zoro and Sanji stood, glaring daggers at each other.

"Stupid Sash man!'

Lera pouted. "Hey…"

"Ludicrous love cook!"

"My love cook…" Sarah whimpered.

The guys were about to argue some more when Lera, yelling "MY SASH MAN!" and Sarah, screaming "MY LOVE COOK!" flew out of their chairs to glomp Sanji and Zolo.

Tracey looked up from her novel. "Would you two keep it down? Stupid poopaws.." With a shake of her head, she went back to reading.

Suddenly, from outside came Usopp's yell. "LAND HO!"

Nami gasped, looking up. "What? Land? But I didn't think we'd hit anything for another few miles…!"

Luffy, on the other hand, jumped up and ran outside, screaming. "YAY, LAND! LAND!"

Lera and Sarah, from their glomping positions, looked as each other, blinking.

"Ho?" said Lera.

"Why are they so happy that there are hoes landing on the ship?" wondered Sarah.

* * *

What new Island have our friends encountered? 

Will it be dangerous, like the last one?

And what of Captain Smoker, and our favorite Gangster Crew?

Will anyone ever mourn for the dead lettuces?

Those poor lettuces….

Next time, on…. Sanji's Cupcakes!

* * *

So there ya go. Was that better? I certainly put more effort into it… 

Anyways, next chapter will be the long awaited Christmas Special.

So don't forget to review!


	10. The Christmas Special, Yo!

Many of my friends knew of this before hand, but for those who don't...

This chapter of Sanji's Cupcakes is the Christmas Special! YAY!

It actually adds some things to the plot… but not really.

Merry Christmas, Sarah. This is your present, hope you like it :)

Note: For some of you who may not know, the Author's note was edited to the new chapter 8…

* * *

**_Warning: Contains Lera/Zoro fluff and Sanji/Sarah fluff. Don't say I didn't warn you. And, please, no flames. This is really the only chapter where I'll have such pronounced fluff.

* * *

_**Sanji's Cupcakes 

Chapter 9- "The Christmas Special, Yo!"

* * *

On the last cupcake of Sanji's Cupcakes…

The Gangster Crew and the Straw Hat Crew faced down Captain Stoner and, after a ridiculously long battle scene, defeated the Navy!

The two crews went off their separate ways afterwards, leaving behind Totoro Island and Captain Smoker to continue along their journey on the Grand Line.

Now, we join our favorite crew as they reach a new island!

Or is it a ho?

* * *

"Ho?" said Lera. 

"Why are they so happy that there are hoes landing on the ship?" wondered Sarah.

Tracey looked from her book and sighed. "Might as well go and check it out… might really be a ho…"

Both Ler-hah and Sar-hah slid off of Sanji and Zoro. Sanji eagerly took Sarah's hand, the argument with Zoro forgotten, and dragged her out to the deck while Zoro, with a wide smirk, hoisted Lera up onto his back and carried her out piggy-back style so easily it looked as if she weighed nothing at all. Lera, grinning happily, wrapped her arms gently around his neck to keep her balance.

When the two of them emerged on deck, Luffy, Nami, and Tracey had already beaten them outside. The whole Straw Hat Crew was following Usopp's pointing hand. Off on the horizon loomed a large island, colored white. Already, the weather had taken a turn for the worse and the temperature was quickly dropping as the seconds passed.

The whole crew simultaneously shivered. Lera gritted her teeth, closing her eyes tightly as goose bumps rose up on her arms. "It's… friggin' cold!"

Sarah was suffering from the same effects, except her legs were freezing as well. Knee high socks were almost nothing compared to Lera's layer of pants and a skirt. "What the crap?"

Sanji quickly noted her distress and wrapped his arms tightly around her. "I'll keep you warm, Sarah-san!"

Sarah, with a shiver, pressed herself against the cook and nodded. "Thanks, Sanji."

Nami shivered as well, while Luffy and Usopp were turning into ice cubes behind her. "Alright, everyone get back below deck and get coats."

Usopp and Luffy dashed right past her. "US FIRST!"

Twenty minutes later, the Straw Hat crew emerged back on deck. Sarah and Lera were back in their original clothes, jeans and sweatshirts, while the rest of the crew had donned their coats. Tracey had to borrow Nami's coat, seeing as she herself didn't bring anything.

The Totoran witch frowned. "I don't like this coat."

Lera smirked, walking out on deck with her. "That's 'cause it's a ho coat."

"A what coat?"

Sarah, on the other side of Tracey, nodded wisely. "Yup, it's a ho coat."

Tracey was getting rather frustrated with the two. "What's a ho coat?"

The two girls blinked at each other for a moment before replying to Tracey. "Nami's coat."

"Is Nami a ho?" Tracey blinked, lifting her arm to examine one of the sleeves of the coat she was wearing.

Lera and Sarah nodded solemnly. "Yeah."

"Great…" Looking rather disgusted, the three girls finally made if to the deck.

Zolo, Sanji, Usopp, Luffy, and Nami were already there and the island was close as ever. Tracey approached the Navigator, looking over at the white blob of an island. "What's the island called?"

Nami looked up briefly at the witch, and then looked back out at sea. "I don't know. That island isn't really supposed to be there."

"Lovely." With a wry smirk, Tracey turned back to her two friends and shrugged,

Lera shrugged back. "Guess we'll find out when we land there."

Sarah beamed brightly. "It looks like fun. It's all covered in snow and stuff."

"Totally…" A thought suddenly came to Ler-hah. "Hey, do you think Zoro's gonna be fine? I mean, he might want to take off his shirt and think fur…"

"We'd better check, yeah." The two girls left Tracey alone, who in turn sat down and pulled out a notebook and started writing away, because there was probably no chance of her getting back her laptop from repair, she would have to write her stories manually.

Not that laptops existed in One Piece land.

Lera shuffled up to her favorite swordsman. She poked his shoulder gently. "Mr. Bushido?"

Zoro blinked, turning to look at the smiling faces of Lera and Sarah. "Yeah?"

"We have a question to ask you." Lera nodded, looking innocent.

The green-haired man stared blankly at them, waiting for the question.

Sarah couldn't help but blurt it out. "Are you going to take off your shirt today?"

As the girls started giggling hysterically, Zoro stared at them. "What?"

Sar-hah continued. "I mean, are you, like, gonna think fur or something?"

"And get in touch with your inner hot tub?" Lera added.

"And then, like, swim out too far into a forest?"

"'Cause you're a polar bear?"

Zoro didn't even have time to say anything, the girls kept going.

"Not offense, Zoro…" Lera said.

"But that was pretty stupid." said Sarah.

"I mean, c'mon… inner hot tub?"

"Maybe if you hadn't taken off your shirt, you would've been fine."

"Not that I minded." Lera quickly added, grinning.

"And then you wouldn't have had to steal some other guy's coat."

The look Zoro was giving them was pretty obvious. They had managed to confuse him completely. Lera saw this and quickly hugged him. "Don't worry, Zoro, I still heart you."

Sar-hah, laughing, went off to talk with Sanji, leaving Zoro and Lera alone.

The swordsman blinked, a slight tinge of pink coming to his cheeks. "Er… Lera…"

Before she could say anything else, the ship slowed and came to a stop as Usopp steered the ship into a small harbor on the island.

Monkey D. Luffy bounded forward. "YAY, WE'RE HERE, WE'RE HERE!"

Lera looked up. "Oh, good. Let's go." Grabbing Zoro's hand, she dragged him off the ship and onto the island. Sarah followed suit, taking Sanji's hand in hers and running after Ler-hah.

Tracey, Nami, Usopp, and Tracey were left on ship to blink after the retreating backs of the five crew members before they all shrugged and followed after them into the couple of feet snow path. Usopp decided to stay behind. He rubbed his nose, which was cold. "I'll stay behind to protect the ship, then…"

Bye, Usopp. Pfft.

* * *

On the other side of the Unknown Island, a certain Gangster crew had landed. Captain Joshu Wa Gorgy walked to the railing of his new ship, the _Crow 2, Yo, Bish_ , and looking out at the island. "Looks like it's covered in some white shit." 

Larissa raised an eyebrow, walked past him, carrying her med kit. "That's snow, you moron."

Opium moogrunted in agreement from across the ship.

Gorgy sighed and flicked back his hair, glaring at his ship's doctor. "I didn't ask you, did I?"

She shrugged and kept walking. "No, but you're still a moron."

The Captain growled and decided to go berate the other crew members. Mike was first. The crew member was playing around with his Miroku staff, twirling this way and that. As Gorgy stepped forward, Mike turned quickly and whapped the stuff right into Joshu.

"Ack." said the blue haired captain, stumbling off to the side. As he stumbled, he tumbled right into Marshmallow Kyle, who was back in a new Marshmallow suit. Joshu bounced right off the marshmallow goodness and teetered in a different direction. Into Emily-ly, who was reading Deathnote and drinking bottled water, not really paying attention. At least she wasn't high anymore.

As soon as Gorgy had stumbled into her, she jumped back. "Ew! Get off me!"

Joshu fell right over, groaning in pain and twitching. Opium quickly trotted over and stomped over him as well, moogrunting with pride before returning to napping. On top of Gorgy.

Kyle suddenly loomed over the comatose Joshu. "Were you bothering Emily-ly?"

"Grunt."

"Gah." With a sigh, Kyle simply whapped the captain with an empty water bottle and went back to sulking.

Marshmallow Kyle, on the other hand, trotted forward to poke the first mate. "Are we going to go on the island, or what?"

Emily-ly blinked and looked up. She had already gone back to eating and reading. She reached up a hand to fix the flower that was in her hair, her many bracelets on her wrists jingling. "Uh... yeah, I guess."

She looked over at Joshu, who was now gibbering and twitching. In his hands, he was clutching at a small furby that was weakly playing a little Irish punk ditty. Opium was sleeping peacefully, quite content that it was crushing his master's captain underneath its quite heavy bulk. Emily-ly sighed. It was a pity to have to wake Opium up, but they needed the Captain's non-existent wit and even less existent sense of direction to get anywhere on this snow-covered island.

Plus, since Joshu was currently out for the count, it was the first mate's job to get the crew on the island safely.

She cleared her throat importantly, putting away her bottle of water and her Deathnote book. "Marshmallow Kyle and Mike, wake up Opium, we're going on the island now."

Mike and M. Kyle blinked in distress, looking over at the slumbering koama. Mike walked forward first, extending the Miroku staff out at Emily-ly's pet while Kyle watched a small distance away, rather amused.

Opium, as soon as he felt the poke in his side, growled in a menacing sort of way, opening one eye.

"Ahh!" Mike yelled, backing away quickly.

M. Kyle took a brave step forward. Scampering up to the once again sleeping koama, he poked his head close to its ear before…

"WAH!" He screamed in a high voice. Opium awoke with a loud moogrunt of distress, jumping up and stomping all over Joshu again before realizing what had woken him up.

Marshmallow Kyle saw a pair of gleaming black eyes glaring at him. He screaming loudly and ran off, right off the ship and onto the island. He didn't stop there, though. He kept going.

Emily-ly looked up. She had been busy coaxing her poisonous frogs into their bag and looked up just in time to see Kyle disappear in the forest that surrounded the whole island. "Urgh… Marshmallow Kyle!"

She straightened, pulling the bag roughly onto her shoulders and glaring around at the rest of the crew. Opium was sitting on Joshu's head, looking pleased, while Larissa and Kyle were just blinking. Mike was in a state of shock, staring off in the direction where M. Kyle had run off to.

The First Mate cleared her throat importantly. "Right… let's go on the island, and make sure Marshy Kyle doesn't kill himself."

Larissa pointed at their still unconscious and trampled captain. "What about him?"

Emily-ly stared down thoughtfully at Captain Gorgy before shrugging in a non-caring sort of way. "Leave him."

" Kay!" The crew replied happily, quite grateful that they would be leaving their violent Captain behind. With that, the Gangster Crew set off into the island, following M. Kyle's tracks.

Larissa sighed, watching them go. "I'll just stay here, make sure Joshu doesn't kill anyone…"

* * *

Lera and Sarah were tromping along through the snow cheerfully next to each other, giggling about how they had gotten to hold Sanji's and Zoro's hand, while Sanji and Zoro themselves were arguing behind them. 

"You should've seen Zoro blush, Ler-hah…"

"Hehe, he was blushing?"

"Don't make me take that stupid bandana and stuff it down your throat, moss head."

"I'd like to see you try, curly eyebrow."

"Yeah, he was blushing! I never thought he could do that… that is, I never saw him do that on the show…"

"Maybe we missed an episode…"

"Are you saying I won't?"

"Is that a threat?"

"SQUEE!"

"I'LL KILL YOU!"

Meanwhile, Luffy was bounding along through the snowy stuff ahead of the group, laughing loudly. Tracey was walking next to Nami and discussing the stories Tracey had written.

It was just at that moment that Lera looked at her watch. It had the date on it and the date read…

"Hey, Sarah, guess what?"

"What?" she blinked, shivering slightly. As they were walking, it seemed to get colder.

"It's Christmas!" Lera eagerly shoved the watch in Sarah's face. After a minute of Sarah and Lera squeaking in excitement, the hyper moment subsided.

"So, are we going to celebrate it? Seems kinda good, since we're on a winter island…"

"Crap yes!" Sarah punched the air, grinning.

In honor of the holiday, the girls burst into song. Zoro and Sanji were still arguing behind them.

_(Like Jingle Bells)_

"_One Piece land, One Piece land, _

_Usopp is a freak!_

_We heart love cooks and sash men, _

_Their hair is natural green, hey!_

"_One Piece land, One Piece land, _

_Usopp is a freak!_

_We heart love cooks and sash men, _

_Their hair is natural green!"_

"I don't even see how your hair is natural green. What'd you do, eat leaves when you

were a baby?"

"What? Leaves are delicious!"

"_Sailing in the sea_

_Chased by Captain Stoner,_

_Not to mention Commies_

_Wapohl ate my mother! _

_Nami is a ho…_

_Monkey D. likes meat…_

_But Roronoa and Sanji-san_

_Are our favorite cupcake treats! Oh!"_

"And you can't take my apple!"

"Why would I want to? I bet you poisoned it with your bleached hair!"

"It's natural, thank you!"

"What'd you do, eat bleach when you were a baby?"

"_One Piece land, One Piece land, _

_Usopp is a freak!_

_We heart love cooks and sash men, _

_Their hair is natural green, hey!_

_One Piece land, One Piece land, _

_Usopp is a freak!_

_We heart love cooks and sash men, _

_Their hair is natural green!"_

"Why don't you go eat bleach?"

"You first!"

"No way! I gotta protect Sarah-san!"

"And who said I wanted to leave Lera defenseless?"

"_Now we're on the Grand Line_

_Looking for the One Piece_

_Maybe it's a penny…_

_Who knows, Gold Roger's crazy!_

_We know Puma's hawt…_

_He doesn't have a shirt on…_

_But forever, we will heart_

_The Sanji and the Zoro! Oh!"_

"My warning still stands, moss head!"

"Do I care? I can still beat you, eyebrow face!"

"_One Piece land, One Piece land, _

_Usopp is a freak!_

_We heart love cooks and sash men, _

_Their hair is natural green, hey!_

_One Piece land, One Piece land, _

_Usopp is a freak!_

_We heart love cooks and sash men, _

_Their haaaair iiiis naaaaatural greeeeeeeeeeeen! Hey!"_

"WOULD YOU ALL SHUT UP!" Nami yelled, red in the face with annoyance.

Sanji lowered his eyes. "Sorry, Nami-san."

The two girls fell silent as well, but they had finished their song anyway.

"WOAH! HEY, GUYS, YOU GOTTA SEE THIS!" Luffy's voice rang out in the awkward silence. The crew scurried forward to emerge out of the forest. It opened up into a large valley bordered by mountains and more forest. In the middle of the valley was a large, snow covered village.

Luffy was looking ecstatic. "A village! People! C'mon!" Without another word, he started running down the hill that lead to civilization.

Tracey raised an eyebrow. "Should I subdue him?"

Nami sighed. "By all means, please do."

The medical witch made a brief motion with her hand. Within seconds, a mini-tornado was carrying the hyper Captain of the Going Merry back up to the rest of the group. Luffy had even managed to forget about the village and instead was babbling about the small tornado, which dumped him in front of Tracey and disappeared. Terry and Prat popped up out of nowhere and lifted Luffy off of the ground, somehow wrapping their little handle things around his arms. They stayed there, keeping the rubber boy in place. He was gaping at the toaster minions before catching Nami's eye.

"Let's all go to the village together…"

Luffy, somehow, managed to see it was a lost battle and nodded. "Okay, together!"

So, together, in all togetherness, the Straw Hat Crew went down to the village. Together.

And, yes, together they walked into the village. Sarah sighed in relief. "Good, regular people. No more friggin' bat people… vampire… things."

Lera smirked. "No more onions."

"Shut up…"

A friendly villager, wrapped in winter clothing, came forward, grinning. "Hey, are you visitors?"

Nami stepped forward. "Yes, we are. Where are we?"

The villagers grin spread to a broad smile. "You are on Penguin Island, in the village of Caffeine, ruled by the oh so wise master Andyroo."

Lera blinked. "Where are the penguins?"

Nami laughed nervously and changed the subject. "Could we please speak to your leader? We need to get directions for the next island and stock up on supplies again."

Lera, however, would not be deterred from the subject. "But where are the penguins?"

Sarah was happy to join in. "Yeah, where are the penguins?"

"They are on the other side of the island, I'm afraid." The villager smiled at them.

"Oh."

"And I will gladly lead you all to the great Andyroo. Please, follow me."

So, with that, the Straw Hat Crew was led through Caffeine Village on the island of Penguin Island. Where the penguins were on the wrong side.

* * *

And, it just so happens, the penguins were on the side where the Gangster Crew was. 

And penguins don't like to be called piles of furby shit, apparently.

"WHY THE CRAP DID YOU HAVE TO TALK TO IT?" Emily-ly screamed at Marshmallow Kyle.

"GAH, I'M SORRY!" He yelled, already missing a few chunks of 'mallow out of his suit.

Earlier, they had caught up to M. Kyle, who had accidentally run into a tree. They then proceeded to walk through the snow-covered forest. It was then they noticed that there were penguins. Everywhere. And Marshmallow Kyle accidentally tripped over one (it's obviously not his day), and proceeded to call it "You stupid pile of furby shit!"

Now, the poor innocent penguin was already rather sad that it had had a boy in a marshmallow suit fall onto it, but, to add insult to injury, the human had proceeded to yell and curse at it. After a few waddles of fury, it squeaked and, in an instant, hundreds of the tuxedoed animals began flopping out of nowhere, looking rather angry.

"Oh, shi-" M. Kyle began, but then Mike grabbed him by the arm and, as a group, the Gangster Crew began running. Which is where we see them now.

Everyone point and laugh at them.

Go ahead; I'll give you a minute.

…

Yeah, ok. Moving on…

"I SWEAR, IF I DIE FROM PENGUINS…" The first mate threatened, dodging around trees and Opium sprinted behind her.

"Look, I'm sorry, ok? Stop yelling." Marshy Kyle reasoned, nearly tripping over a bush as he got snagged on a branch.

"I'll help you!" Nate jumped out of nowhere, but was quickly run over by waddling penguins and died. No one noticed and continued running.

Sorry, though. Nate's dead already. Merry Christmas, Nate.

Mike was silently sprinting in panic, while Kyle was in the back, occasionally resisting the urge to turn and just kill all of the penguins. He knew Emily-ly wouldn't like lots of dead things on her hands. So he kept running. Along with everyone else.

Just when it seemed like they were about to overwhelmed by the furious creatures, the _The Crow 2 Yo, Bish _Crew burst out of the forest, tripped, and, together, started rolling down a hill, The penguins stopped, squeaking angrily at them before turning and waddling back into the forest, muttering in penguin-language.

The hill, conveniently enough, happened to lead into Caffeine Village.

* * *

­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­"Did I tell you? My panties have loosened." 

Lera, Tracey, and Sarah were laughing loudly while Nami was still struggling to communicate with the village leader, Andyroo. She hadn't made much progress.

The leader was about the same age as the whole Straw Hat Crew. Vivid, stunning blue eyes peered out at them past bright red curls of hair. He had on a long-sleeve shirt that said "Pants are so overrated" on it, and he gave off the impression of being blissfully cheerful all the time.

This, of course, was not the case. He was just slightly high.

"But that's because I don't think pants should exist." He added with a grin.

Everything that he said made Lera, Sarah, and Tracey go into new waves of laughter. Nami was getting aggravated, while Zoro and Sanji were getting increasingly disturbed. Luffy was the only one who could understand what exactly the red-head was saying.

The Navigator decided to try again. "Er… so… are we allowed to stay in your village for a while and restock?"

"Only of you PWN me at sporkage."

"Only if I what?" Nami stared.

"But I want to go to Taco Bell first."

"Where?"

"But I have to take a shower first, and that means I need to get naked."

"You… what?"

"And then I might go to bed, and I'm sure you want to come with me." He continued to speak, grinning.

"Er.. not really…"

"Aw, please? Don't you wuv me? I'll give you mono…"

Lera and Sarah quickly raised their hands. "WE WUV YOU, ANDYROO!"

Tracey was too busy laughing to reply.

Sanji and Zoro gaped at the girls. "YOU DO?"

Andyroo, on the other hand, jumping up and started dancing. "Yey!"

The girls went back to laughing and Nami decided to try one more time. "So we can stay?"

The red-head nodded, sitting back down and pulling out a Mountain Dew. "Sure. As long as you don't wear pants and you wuv me."

Nami raised an eyebrow, but Andyroo continued.

"By the way, we have a holiday thingie today. Something about Christmas or something. You can celebrate that if you want. I'm going to go loosen my panties." And with that, Andyroo left.

Sighing, the Navigator headed back to her crew. The two guys, excluding Luffy, were torn whether to laugh or to throw up, while the other three girls who stumbled forward to complete the crew were still giggling. Luffy blinked at them, but Nami quickly took up the position of leader. "Ok, well…"

"Excuse me, would you like me to show you where you can stay?" A small penguin waddled up to them, looking up curiously.

Lera gasped. "A talking penguin!"

The creature nodded. "I'm Andyroo's pet. Call me Garske."

Sarah bounded forward and huggled the penguin. "SQUEE! KAWAII!"

As the animal wriggled around in protest, Sanji gently pulled Garske away from Sarah and put him down.

Nami nodded. "Yes, we would, actually."

Looking slightly ruffled, Garske cast the rather downcast Sarah a fearful look before waving a flipper. "Follow me."

With that, the Straw Hat crew followed after the waddling penguin. As they followed him through the Andyroo's main building, back outside and down the road, Sarah and Lera were whispering softly. They both looked rather distressed.

"I don't know what to get Sanji for Christmas…"

"And I have no idea what to get Zoro!"

Everyone else was listening to Garske, who was explaining the concept of Christmas.

Zoro frowned. _"What am I going to get Lera…?"_

Sanji was thinking the same thing. _"Oh no, what am I to get my dear Sarah-san?"_

Luffy, on the other hand… _"Oh boy! Turkey!"_

Tracey walked along next to Lera, trying vainly to continue writing her story whilst moving. She was rather successful, but it took up all her attention and she didn't even pay attention to anyone else.

As they walked, Luffy spotted something before everyone else. He was quick to point it out. "Hey, guys, what's that?"

Zoro frowned, peering off into the distance. "They look familiar…"

Nami ran forward slightly, almost stepping on Garske as he did so. "It's the Gangster Crew again!"

Lera blinked. "With Captain Gorgy?"

"And the koama!" Sarah squealed.

Garske stopped and pointed a flipper at a large house. "Here is where you can stay. Enjoy." With that, he waddled away as fast as he could. He didn't want to be hugged by Sarah again.

It was just in time, too. Emily-ly, M. Kyle, Mike, Kyle, and Opium stumbled down the street. They stopped as soon as Emily-ly spotted The Straw Hat Crew. She blinked. "Oh, great…"

The two enemy crews approached each other cautiously. Mike and M. Kyle grinned, waving at Sarh-hah and Ler-hah, both of whom waved back.

The First Mate, Emily-ly, nodded to Nami and Luffy. "What are you doing here?"

"I was about to ask you the same question." Nami replied.

"We're walking." Emily-ly said.

"And running away from penguins." Mike added, but cringed slightly when the pissed off Emily-ly shot him a dark look. Kyle whacked Mike upside the head, his expression not changing in the least.

"Cool! We were just talking to a penguin!" Luffy cried.

There was uncomfortable silence in the group before Lera took a step forward to stand between Emily-ly and Nami. "Do you guys, uh… want to celebrate Christmas with us?"

Emily-ly turned her attention to Lera. "What?"

"Er... Christmas... y'know... this holiday where you give everyone presents… drink hot chocolate, eat stuff…"

Sarah nodded. "You tell 'em, Ler-hah."

Eagerly raising his hand, Mike said, "I've heard of that! Oh my god, it's soooo much fun! Can we celebrate it with them, Emily-ly? Can we?"

M. Kyle jumped around. "Yeah, can we?"

Emily-ly looked back at her crew. Kyle looked indifferent, as did Opium. It was Mike and M. Kyle who seemed really eager to celebrate the holiday.

Nami gaped in shock at Lera while Luffy jumped up, going to dance with Mike and Marshmallow Kyle. "That's a great idea!"

Zoro grinned. "Yeah, I'm ok with that."

Sanji looked over at Sarah. "If Sarah wants to, so do I."

Tracey blinked, finally speaking after a long time. "What's going on?"

"We're celebrating Christmas with the Gangster Crew!" Sarah replied.

"Oh… cool."

* * *

The rest of the day was spent preparing for the present opening planned for the evening. When both crews had walked into the house, they found an already decorated Christmas tree, plenty of food for a Christmas dinner, and enough rooms for everyone. Then they all set to work to get presents for all. 

As they wandered around town, asking for help from the villagers, and visiting shops to buy presents, it began to snow.

Luckily for Lera and Sarah and the Gangster Crew, they had found real winter coats in the house and now tromped around town in them, contentedly warm.

The two friends, giggling and hiding the presents they had bought for Sanji and Zoro in their coats, dashed into their house to begin wrapping presents.

Time flew and, soon enough, it was getting dark. Both crews stumbled into their temporary home. Lera and Sarah were the first there, sitting in armchair. It was a rather comforting setting. The Christmas tree already boasted some presents beneath its branches. Around the tree was a large couch and many armchairs and warmth was flooding throughout the entire room from a large fireplace. Stripping down to their regular clothes, The Gangster Crew and the Straw Hat Crew filed into the room, creating piles of presents for everyone.

It seemed that only Mike, Lera, Sarah, and Tracey were the only ones actually familiar with Christmas. Sarah blinked around at them all. "What're you waiting for? Let's open our presents!"

With squeals, Lera and Sarah pounced upon their pile of gifts, excitedly ripping away wrapping paper.

Taking the two girls' cue, everyone else set upon their presents as well.

"Oh, snap, this is awesome! Thanks, Tracey!"

"Duuuuuude!"

"Well, this is… interesting…"

"THANK YOU, NAMI!"

For about half an hour, the only sounds were joyful thank you's and the noisy ripping of paper. By the end, the whole gang sat around, content with their piles of presents.

Lera and Sarah were the happiest. This had been their first Christmas in One Piece land. So far, Lera had gotten a new pirate hat from Luffy, a skirt from Nami, and a box of regular cupcakes from Sanji. From the Gangster Crew side of the spectrum, Mike had given Lera a card, a pack of M&M cookies from Emily-ly, a case of Mountain Dew from Marshmallow Kyle, and a new Juvenile Orion book from Tracey. The only presents she had left to open were from Sarah and Zoro. She opened Sarah's first.

"SQUEE!" Lera held three framed pictures. One was of Lera and Sarah in One Piece land, another of Lera glomping Zoro, and the last was a picture of everyone they had met together in a group pictures. Sarah had drawn them herself with her drawing skillz. "Thank youuuu!" She happily hugged her Noo-Noo.

Zoro blinked, looking up from a new set of bandanas Sarah had given him. "What?"

Lera grinned, hiding the glomping picture. "Oh, just some pictures…"

Sarah beamed. "I knew you'd like them."

Sarah was surrounded by presents as well. She had gotten a new pair of commando boots from Nami, also a pirate hat from Luffy, and a new drawing pad from Zoro. From the Gangster Crew, Sarah had gotten a card from Mike, cookies from Emily-ly, Junior Mints from Marshmallow Kyle. She had also gotten rock candy from Tracey. Now, she too only had Lera's and Sanji's present left.

She ripped open her last of two gifts, which happened to be from Lera.

"SQUEE! THANK YOU, LER-HAH!" Her present turned out to be a thick wad of papers, a collection of stories written by Lera about Sanji, One Piece land, their adventures so far, etc…

"What'd you get?" Sanji asked, holding a new frying pan he had received from Lera.

"Stories." Sarah happily hugged her poopaw.

"Your welcome, Sar-hah." Lera laughed.

So now, the only presents left for Lera and Sarah were from Zoro and Sanji, which was likewise from Zoro and Sanji, who only had presents left from Lera and Sarah.

Zoro took his present. "I'll go first."

Lera watched breathlessly as he opened his present, then grinned as Zoro chuckled with pleasure. It was a new winter coat, not the long girly one Zoro had before, and inside the coat was a case with three new sheaths for his swords. "Thanks, Lera." He smirked over at her and Lera giggled. "No problem."

"I'll go next." Sanji volunteered. He pulled out his present from under the tree and Sarah squeaked. His present turned out to be…

He stood, holding out the apron in front of him. It was covered with hearts and in big words on the front it said "Kiss the Love Cook." Sanji grinned at Sarah, tying the apron on. "Thank you, my love."

Sarah quickly jumped up, giving him a hug. "No problem, Sanji!" She quickly took the command on his apron to heart and kissed him briefly on the cheek. Sanji's eye turned into a pink heart and his own heart popped out of his chest. Sarah squealed before getting pulled back to sit by Lera. "We still need to open our presents, you poopaw…"

"Oh… right…" Sarah glanced up at her favorite cook, who still looked dazed.

Lera opened her present from Zoro. It was a new dagger, along with a sword keeping case, including polisher, sharpening tool, and hilt cleaner. Ler-hah gasped. "Thanks, Zoro!" She leaned across her pile of presents to hug Zoro in thanks.

"My turn!" Sarah took her gift and hurriedly tore it open. "Sanji… wow!"

She held out a huge cake in the shape of a heart with Sanji hugging Sarah drawn in icing on the top. "It looks delicious!"

Sarah and Lera briefly leaned against each other, grinning. "Tell I ate it all… tell her it was delicious!"

As they laughed, Sanji beamed and took the cake. "I'll set it on the table and we'll have it after our dinner."

Everyone rose from their positions, heading into the large dining room where the table had been laid out by, of course, Sanji. It had everything, from turkey, to mashed potatoes, to cranberry juice. Everything. Everyone gratefully took their seats and began to eat. About half-way through, there was sudden crash and everyone jumped out of their seats to see Joshu Wa Gorgy stomp in, looking furious, cold, and covered in snow. "You… jackasses…"

Lera blinked. "It's Gorgy!"

Emily-ly sighed, going to sit back down. "Oh, crap…"

"EMILY-LY!" Joshu yelled angrily, storming forward, to find Kyle blocking his way. "You won't touch Emily-ly…"

"What makes you think you can stop me?" Gorgy growled, narrowing his eyes at the bodyguard from Brown-Noo-Noo island.

"Because I'm her bodyguard, and it's my job to protect her." Kyle replied simply, staring coldly at him.

The festive feeling in the house disappeared. Lera and Sarah, however, wouldn't stand for it. They jumped forward. "RAH!"

Something buzzed and there was a rush of air. Then something went "Boom" and a thick purple haze covered everything. For a moment, everything was confusion, but then the haze faded to reveal the two girls standing and looking a bit dazed. Somehow, Captain Gorgy and Kyle were now in cages, unconscious.

Lera recovered quickly and sheathed her swords. "Good. And stay there."

Sarah snapped her fingers, sending out a small shock to each guy purely out of spite. "Yeah, bish."

Satisfied, the two girls went back to eating. Everyone else stared at them for a moment before shrugging and returning to their food as well.

* * *

It was only around twelve that everyone decided to go to bed. With yawns and waves, both crew members stumbled off to their rooms. Sarah and Sanji hugged briefly before going into their separate rooms, which happened to be next to each other. Zoro, however, didn't. He didn't feel like going to bed just yet. Pulling on his new coat he had received from Lera, he snuck out of the house silently and went to a walk through the town, the snow still falling. However, his feet soon led him out of the village completely and into an open field nearby. 

As Zoro walked out into the open field, he spotted a dark figure in the snow. He frowned, striding forward to see who it was, then finally recognized the curly hair. It was Lera. Smiling, he took the last steps and sat down next to her in the snow. "Didn't expect to see you out here." It seemed that he wasn't the only one who wasn't that sleepy.

Lera grinned. She had been looking up, watching the snow softly fall on the already formed white blanket. Now her brown-green eyes had gone to Zoro, reflecting the falling flakes. "Yeah, well…"

"Aren't you cold?" He asked, not really cold himself. He was quite comfortable in his long winter coat, but he knew from experience that simply sitting still in a foot of snow wasn't pleasant.

The girl herself was in a black, thick coat, and she looked cheerful. Her hair glistened from the melted snow, as did her eyes. For some reason, Zoro couldn't take his eyes off of them… he barely even heard her reply.

"No, I'm fine."

Shaking off the odd feelings, he looked up at the sky as well. "So why aren't you inside with the others?"

Lera went back to staring out the darkened night. "I don't know. It's just that… this is my favorite type of weather and time of day." Her voice was soft and hushed, as if she was frightened to disturb the peaceful silence around them. "The middle of the night, when gentle snow is falling slowly to the ground in a soft silence. It's really nice." She smiled fondly, moving her arms back to prop herself up and get a better view of looking up at the dark, cloudy sky. She seemed oddly calm and thoughtful, which meant she hadn't had sugar in a while.

The green-haired man smiled. "You're right… I never realized how… comforting it is."

"Sometimes people take simple things for granted, I guess." Lera shrugged, glancing briefly at him.

Zoro turned his full attention to Lera, then moved a tad closer. She didn't seem to notice, and he took the opportunity to ask… "Are you sure you're not cold?"

"I guess I'm a bit chilly…" She admitted. Zoro didn't need any more urging. Lera blinked as she felt an arm slide around her waist gently and a sudden warmth press against her side. It was Zoro, who was now holding her close. Blushing, she lowered her eyes. "Zoro…"

"Shh. You're ruining the silence." Was his reply, and she could even sense his grin through it.

With a bright smile, Lera shifted closer and leaned against him, snuggling into his side and feeling herself getting warmer already. She hadn't really wanted to admit it at the time… but she was freezing.

"Thanks, Zolo." She whispered softly, feeling a blush creeping into her cheeks as she grinned sheepishly.

The two of them contentedly sat the rest of the night together, watching the snow fall. As soon as Lera had slipped from her perch and flopped right into Zoro's lap, asleep, did Zoro take the cue to pick up the girl and walk back to the house. He gently placed her on her bed in her room, next to Sarah's. He pulled her winter coat off and fondly laid a few warm blankets over her. With a smile, Lera shifted a little before finding a comfortable position and sighing.

Zoro found that he didn't want to go to his own room. Instead, he pulled up a chair and sat next to Lera's bed. Now tired himself, he quickly dozed off.

* * *

Just before the arrival of the sword wielding pair, Sarah had woken up screaming. 

"SANJI, THE HOMOSEXUAL BUTTERFLIES ARE STEALING MY VIRGINITY! AGAIN! AND…"

The rest of her words had dissolved into gibberish by the time the blonde burst into her room. "Sarah?"

"Huh?" Sarah blinked, becoming aware that she was awake. Sanji walked forward, sitting down on the bed next to Sarah. "Is everything alright, my love?"

The girl blinked, nodding slightly and brushing her hair out of her eyes. "Yeah, I'm fine…" She looked up to see Sanji looked at her in concern.

"Was it a nightmare?"

She hesitated for a moment, not wanting to say, and then nodded. "Yes."

"What was it about?"

Sarah looked away. "It was about… me and Lera leaving… to go back home. And I'd never see you again, Sanji! It was really bad…" She almost looked tearful as she said so.

Sanji quickly pulled her into a tight hug. "It's alright, Sarah-san… you know I'll never let that happen, I'll always be there."

She sniffed slightly and quickly hugged him back. "I hope so, Sanji…"

"I know so. I'm never gonna leave you, Sarah." The cook replied in all seriousness, resting his chin gently on the top of Sarah's head.

Sarah sighed and squeaked slightly. "I heart you, Sanji."

Sanji smiled slightly but only said, "Go to sleep, Sarah, I'll make sure you don't have anymore nightmares."

"Ok…" Sarah, with one last sniffle, lay back down on her pillow and turned over to face Sanji, closing her eyes. Sanji gently took her hand and watched Sarah fall asleep.

"I heart you too, Sarah…" He said softly, long after she had gone back to sleep.

* * *

The next morning, Sarah had awoken, remembering perfectly what had happened that night. Sanji, of course, wasn't there. Yawning, she shuffled out of her room in her pajamas over to Lera's room. She stopped in the doorway, her eyes wide. 

"LERA, WHY IS ZORO IN YOUR BED?"

"Huh? What?" Lera blinked, sitting up and blinking blearily at Sarah, then looked to her left. Indeed, there was Zoro, sleeping on top of the covers. Little did they know that when Zoro had fallen asleep, he had fallen out of his chair onto the bed, then automatically shifted himself and pulled his legs up on the bed as well.

Lera quickly stumbled out of bed and, grabbing her book bag with clothes to change into, ran out of the room with Sarah, leaving Zoro all by himself.

Sarah stopped once they were back in her room, poking her friend. "What the crap was he doing in your room?"

"Er… actually, I don't know…" She pulled out her jeans and shirt from her bag. "All I remember it being outside and watching the snow fall. I guess I fell asleep and Zoro brought be back…"

Sar-hah's eyes widened in horror. "What were you doing outside?"

"I told you… watching the snow fall…" Lera replied, blinking, then noticing that her friend looked skeptical. "Seriously!"

"Hmph.."

Both of the girls decided that it was better not to say anything about their experience with Sanji and Zoro. Instead, they went to change into regular clothes and headed down to breakfast, already back to giggling about how they had put Gorgy and Kyle in cages.

* * *

ZOMG, FLUFF!

What will our crew do now, with Christmas over?

I have no idea!

Find out next time on... Sanji's Cupcakes!

* * *

Holy crap, 20 pages. Isn't that scary? This is the longest chapter so far. 

Hope you like it. I dunno. Took me almost a whole day to type and I have a headache. 'Cause fluff is … fluffin' hard to type. Which is why it's only going to be in this chapter, considering this is a present for Sar-hah!

So merry Christmas and all that. Woot.


	11. It's Ho Time

Rawr.

* * *

Sanji's Cupcakes 

Chapter Ten – "It's Ho Time."

* * *

­­­­­­Last time on Sanji's Cupcakes!

Both the Gangster and Straw Hat crews journeyed to Penguin Island, to the Caffeine Village.

Together, they celebrated Christmas.

Ahhh, fluff.

* * *

Ler-hah sighed, looking back out to sea where the small snow-covered island was disappearing on the horizon. "I'm gonna miss that place…" 

Sar-hah nodded in agreement. She had been busy finishing up eating the cake that Sanji had made her for Christmas. Both girls were wearing their pirate hats from Luffy, and Lera was busy drinking a bottle of Mountain Dew already. The girls had also been lucky enough to be given their own room to share, and the rest of their presents were there, along with their book bags. "Yeah, it was fun."

The two girls grinned, looking over to where Zoro was sitting in the Crow's Nest and Sanji standing up on the second floor of the ship, in front of the Tangerine trees.

"Vroom vroom…"

* * *

Village Leader Andyroo wandered into the home where both crews were breakfasting. "Hey, guys…" 

The Straw Hat crew looked up from where they had been watching Sarah and Lera had been trying to toast a marshmallow using Sanji's cigarette. The Gangster Crew was distracted from where they had all been sitting, watching Marshmallow Kyle go around on a spit over the fireplace.

"Leader Andyroo, what are you doing here?" Nami asked from her armchair.

"Oh, just to check that none of you are wearing pants…" He looked slightly confused. "Which all of you failed to do…"

"Well, we still wuv you, Andyroo!" Sarah and Lera chorused, grinning innocently.

"But… but…"

"WILL SOMEONE GET ME THE HELL OUT OF HERE!" Screamed Joshu out of his cage in the corner of the room.

"And who're they?" Andyroo pointed at the Gangster Crew, frowning.

"Er… friends."

Emily-ly quickly stood. "Er, we really should be going, anyway… see you later, yo!" With a meaningful look at the rest of her crew, they all said their hurried good-bye's and rushed off, dragging the two caged crew members along as well.

Garske wobbled into the house. "I believe those were intruders…"

Sarah squealed. "KAWAIII!"

"AHH!" The talking penguin hid behind Andyroo's leg, shaking in fear.

Luffy yawned widely, stretching as he stood. "We should probably get going, too, y'know! We have to get to the next island!"

The Navigator of the ship nodded in agreement. "Luffy's right. Let's go."

"Aw, already…?" Ler-hah pouted, munching on the last of the cupcakes Sanji had given her as a gift.

Zoro, who had been sitting next to her, shrugged. "There's not much else to do here…"

The temporary medical witch of the ship, Tracey, wandered down the stairs from the second floor, yawning. "What the hell? Why didn't anyone wake me up?" She looked around in an accusing manner at all of the inhabitants of the room, and then noticed that no one had seen her enter. "Oh… whatever."

"But I don't want to go!" Sarah protested.

"We really should get going, Sarah-san…"

"But Sanji-kun…"

After ten minutes of confusion, the Straw Hat Crew had packed up their belongings and stood out in the snow-covered street outside of their brief home. Nami grinned at Andyroo. "Thanks for letting us stay here, but we should get going."

"We had tons of fun, though!" Luffy smiled brightly, holding his hat to his head.

"And we'll be sure to come back someday." Lera added, beaming.

"DAMN STRAIGHT!" Sarah nodded firmly.

"Oh… ok… toodles."

And with that, the Straw Hat crew turned around and started their journey back to the Going Merry, Lera and Sarah bursting into song, as usual. This time, is was Hellogoodbye's "Bonnie Taylor Shakedown 2k4."

"_Visit you at Baskin-Robbins all the time  
To let know that I am yours and you are mine  
So we can take long walks through central park  
And hold each others hands to fight the dark"_

As Andyroo stood there, blinking, he heard a choking noise below him. It was Garske. "GASP! NO! MY PENGUIN OF PENGUINY GOODNESS!"

"_So you know that you're never on your own.  
So you know that you're never on your own!"_

Andyroo fell to his knees, holding Garske up gently. "Speak to me!"

"_My Bonnie lies over the ocean.  
My Bonnie lies over the sea.  
And every night at 2 am,  
I wonder why …can't she … lie close … to me."_

"I… Andyroo…" The penguin gasped out.

_Remember all the times you let me walk you to class?  
You would kiss my cheek, I'd never have to ask.  
You're going away-ay in late September  
But here's a thanks for a summer I will always remember."_

Tears came to the leader's eyes. "Yes?"

"_So you know that you're never on your own.  
So you know that you're never on your own!"_

"Your…."

"_My Bonnie lies over the ocean…_"

"Yes? My what?"

"_My Bonnie lies over the sea…"_

"Your… toaster…"

_"And every night at 2 am…"_

"WHAT!"

"_I wonder why …can't she … lie close … to me."_

And so ended the saga of Andyroo and Penguin Island.

* * *

"Yeah, good times…" 

"… I'm hungry."

"Dude, what the crap, you just had two bottles of Dew!"

"… so?"

The two girls now sat in their room, staring out through the port-holes to watch Penguin Island disappear on the horizon.

Sarah suddenly stood in the middle of the room. "SANJI-KUN! I'M NAKEEEEDDD!"

"SARAH-SAN?" Sanji burst into the room, his eyes wide.

"Under my clothes!" Sarah added, with a laugh. Then…

"Sonic-boom!" She darted past Sanji and disappeared, leaving the love cook to stare blankly into the room with a confused expression.

Ler-hah stood as well. "DUDE! SONIC BOOM POO!" And she disappeared too. 'Cause that rhymes.

The two girls met up on deck again. Luffy was sitting on the sheep's head of the ship, his favorite spot. Zoro was on the second floor, lifting weights, and Usopp was up in the Crow's Nest while Nami was in the lounge, guiding the ship. Tracey sat on a few crates, scribbling in a notebook.

Luffy suddenly stood, pointing off into the distance. "LOOK! A SHIP!"

Sarah blinked. "Oh snap, I need a hot pocket."

Lera went up to stand next to Sarah and their shoulders touched. They blinked, then laughed. "Shoulder sex!"

* * *

Joshu Wa Gorgy was angry. In fact, he was fuming. He was furious, and livid, and enraged, and purple in the face. He was still in his cage and still next to Kyle. And not only that, he was being forced to read Great Expectations. "I don't want to read this friggin' book!" 

"Shut up, will you?" Larissa muttered, leaning against the cage, busily reading Harry Potter. None of the Crew wanted Joshu out of the cage. Even if they did, they couldn't figure out how to get the cage open.

"Emily-ly, where are we going?" Marshmallow Kyle wobbled up to the First Mate.

Emily-ly was leaning sitting on Opium, reading Deathnote. "I dunno, wherever this ship is going, then that's where we'll go."

"What about the Straw Hat Crew?" Mike asked.

"Whatever. I don't really care about them…"

But I'm too lazy to type the rest of this. So we'll continue this in another chapter. Back to the Straw Hat Crew!

* * *

Nami burst out of the lounge and Usopp nearly toppled out of the Crow's Nest, but managed to hang on and peer out at sea. "Luffy's right, there's a ship coming this way!" 

Zoro looked up as well, glancing at Nami, who stood next to him, then out at the Captain. "Interesting."

Sar-hah and Ler-hah stood, staring out at the small pin-prick that was apparently a ship, when Sanji walked out on deck. "I heard Luffy yellin'… what's up?"

Zoro looked down on the cook. "There's a ship coming."

The blonde blew smoke from the cigarette and walked forward to stand on the other side of Sarah. "Wonder if they're pirates or not…"

But Lera had a solution, with the power of her Float-Float fruit. "I'll go check it out!" Without another word, she pushed off from the deck and flew up into the air, turning around a few times in the air to get used to flying so high, then with a wave to the crew, she quickly flew off towards the pirate ship.

"That's my flying poopaw, bish!" Sar-hah exclaimed, grinning.

"She better not get herself killed…" Muttered the moss-haired Mr. Bushido, while Sanji smirked softly. "She knows how to take care of herself, green tea head…"

"What'd you say, curly eyebrow?"

"Guys!" Nami interrupted them impatiently. "Calm down, I think Lera knows what she's doing!"

"Even if she doesn't, she won't get herself killed." Tracey, said calmly from her perch on the crates as she shut her notebook and stood.

"Yeah, exactly!" Sarah agreed, even though a few nervous sparks of electricity flew from her fingers in worry of her best friend.

In silence, the crew watched Lera's figure fly closer to the ship. Just as she was circling the ship and was about to fly back, there was a ringing shot of a pistol and a "WHAT THE CRAP?" yell, and before the crew realized what had happened, Lera had fallen into the sea.

Tracey, Nami, and Usopp all gasped, while Zoro and Sanji ran to the edge of the ship. "Lera!"

"Oh no, Lera!" Luffy stood, his eyes wide.

Sarah waved an angry fist. "YOU POOPAW! If you die, I'll kill you! IMA POP A

CAPP! ARGH!"

Nami ran back to the lounge to take the whip-staff and guide the Going Merry towards the unknown ship. "We have to save her!"

Zoro was about to dive in and swim out to the girl, but Sanji held him back. "Hold on, she's too far away, you'd never get there in time."

"But… grrr…"

"Just wait." The cook frowned at the swordsman, then coolly turned around and pointed at Luffy. "You stay there, too. We don't need to lose you, too!"

The rubber boy protested. "But she's going to drown!"

"She's not going to drown, just calm down." Sanji, amazingly enough, was keeping a cool head and had taken control of the situation.

Usopp was desperately trying to see Lera from his high position, but Sarah had sat down in the middle of the deck, sulking.

Sanji walked over to her. "Are you alright, my lovely cupcake?"

"I'm fine, Sanji-kun... Lera's just stupid for going and getting herself flippin' shot."

"We'll save her, Sarah."

"I know. Lera doesn't die from stupid things like that."

* * *

Lera had indeed been shot. She had been carefully floating around the ship. She didn't see anyone on it, but the ship certainly looked odd. It looked like something out of a horror movie. As she had been turning around, planning on getting back to the Going Merry, a figure dressed in black had jumped out, pointing a pistol at her. Before she even had a chance to react, the gun was fired and a bullet had pierced her shoulder. 

"WHAT THE CRAP!" She yelled angrily, but then, wincing, felt her floating powers somehow diminish, and she plummeted right into the sea.

As she sank, she growled softly and struggled to swim up. Once again, it didn't work. Not even her floating powers allowed her to go up. _"Damnit…"_

She didn't have long to complain. A rope suddenly encircled her waist and pulled her out of the ocean. She was dragged onto the strange ship, wet and spluttering. Coughing out the salt water and shivering, Lera slowly sat up to look around, then regretted it.

A dark figure loomed in front of her, chuckling softly in an evil sort of way. Terror gripped Lera's heart. This was the end. A truly horrible bad guy in One Piece had appeared, and now she was going to die. The figure came closer and Lera cringed, waiting for the worst. Closer and closer, the man came… closer… now he extended a hand…

Lera closed her eyes. _"I'm sorry, Sarah… sorry, Zoro…"_

She felt the hand touch her head and tensed, when the figure spoke.

"Poke."

* * *

"What the hell is up with that ship…?" Zoro muttered. It had taken fifteen minutes, but the Going Merry was finally close enough to the enemy ship for the crew to get a good look. 

And they regretted it almost immediately…

"It looks like shit, if you ask me…" Sanji shrugged.

"Looks really scary…" said Nami.

"I don't care what it looks like, we have to save my Ler-hah!" Sarah yelled angrily, running up to stand next to Luffy on the sheep's head.

Luffy stared blankly at her, then Sarah realized where exactly she was standing. With a fearful yell, she hurried back down to the deck. "Like I said… we have to save Lera!"

Sarah hadn't even bothered to look at the ship. If she had, she would've noticed something off about it…

The vessel was covered in painted flowers and joyful anime characters, along with dancing bananas and llamas. It was bright and happy and sparkly, and that, of course, is horrifying beyond belief.

Closer and closer, the ship came. Once they were close enough, the Straw Hat crew could see the members of the sparkly sea craft and the name of the ship. It read _"DoomDOOMDoom". _Most of crew members looked rather techno (don't ask), but two main people who stood at the front of the ship were different. One was a girl, dressed rather ghetto with a strange pink disc on her head, and the other was… well…

Scary was a nice way to put it. He appeared to be all in black.

Luffy ignored the crew and pointed a hand towards the one in black, who he assumed was the captain. "Give back my crew member!"

The rubber boy had guessed right. That was the captain indeed. He smirked and laughed softly before raising his voice. "Why don't you come and get her!"

Sarah ran forward, looking furious. "WE WILL! JUST WATCH US!"

The two ships collided and fighting ensued. Sar-hah jumped over to the DoomDOOMDoom, while Sanji, Luffy, and Zoro stayed on the Going Merry to fight off the enemy crew. Sarah was throwing electricity attacks this way and that, struggling through the crew members in an attempt to reach Ler-hah. Basically, there was chaos on every ship.

"Sarah, I'm over here!" Lera yelled from where she was tied to the mast.

"LER-HAH!" Sarah squealed, and ran over to her friend. "Where are your katanas, so I can cut this flippin' rope?"

"I dunno, they took them! Just use your electricity!"

"Oh… right." Sarah wrapped one hand around the rope and let loose a concentrated amount of lightning, melting the rope instantly.

Lera stood and the two girls danced in victory, Lera careful not to jostle her injured shoulder. "POOPAW POWER!"

"Hey, not so fast…" The first mate of the DoomDOOMDoom came up to them, blocking their way.

"Dude… who're you?" Lera blinked.

"I'm Ramoney Baloney!"

Meanwhile, back on the Going Merry, Sanji and Zoro were fighting fiercely with vicious kicks and sword attacks. Usopp stayed out of the way, still up in the Crow's Nest, while Nami was holed up in the Lounge. Tracey was cornered on deck and she was frantically beating away pirates with her notebook and severe thunderstorm clouds.

The situation seemed hopeless for our crew.

Just then, the enemy captain stepped onto the Going Merry, still wrapped in menacing darkness. His voice doomed out over the two ships, halting the fights. "I… am Ben-Ho Ross! This is my ship now, because I said so!"

"… Ben?" Tracey blinked.

"… Tracey?" Ben-ho stopped where he was, the evil façade disappearing to reveal a teen guy in a black sweatshirt and black pants with steel-toed boots and hair that seemed to defy gravity by growing up. He stepped down from where he had been standing on the railing of the Going Merry, and Tracey walked forward.

After a pause...

"What the hell are you doing here?"

* * *

Who is this fearsome Ben-Ho Ross, and how does Tracey know him? 

And who is this Ramoney Baloney?

Will Lera and Sarah escape the DoomDOOMDoom ship?

Will cupcakes ever do a backflip?

Find out next time on… Sanji's Cupcakes!

* * *

Wooo, cliffyyyyy.. Woot. 

Yeah, so next chapters a special for Sar-hah's birthday, then I'll resume once again.

Thanks for all the reviews, by the way!


	12. Filler Episode 2

So yeah, this is # 2 of the Special Filler Episodes. Woot.

This particular filler is for the one and only Sar-hah! Her birthday was January 25th and this is her promised chapter. HAPPY BIRTHDAY, SAR-HAH!

**_Warning: This chapter contains some Sanji/Sarah fluff. Just thought you oughta know.

* * *

_**

Sanji's Cupcakes 

Filler Episode #2 - "For Love of a Strawberry"

* * *

"Sanji-kun, guess what color my panties are!" 

"Eh... Sarah-san?" Sanji thought about it, and then his nose began to bleed. Because that's funny.

Sarah and Sanji were sitting in the kitchen of the Going Merry. The blonde cook was busy cooking something or other on the stove while Sarah watched him, sitting at the table and idly munching on strawberry pocky. Lera and Zoro were occupied with sword training in the other room, while Nami was on deck, reading some map. Luffy sat in his usual spot and Usopp was sleeping in the men's quarters. Sar-hah and Sanji were left quite alone, and that suited them just fine.

It was just morning and the Going Merry was sailing along, gratefully, calm waters. Breakfast was over and now it was time for Sarah's lessons.

Cooking lessons, that is.

Sarah hopped up eagerly, dressed in a bright blue apron, whilst Sanji had taken off his jacket and sported a pink apron.

"Alright, Sarah. What are we going to make?" Sanji said, rolling up his sleeves.

"A birthday cake!" She replied eagerly, grinning and giggling as he rolled up his sleeves.

Indeed, it was Sarah-san's birthday. She had already gotten the birthday breakfast, but now it was time for the cake, and the Going Merry's cook had offered to help Sarah make it.

"So what do we need?" said Sar-hah, looking around the kitchen.

"Flour, eggs…" Sanji read out the list, all the while pulling out each ingredient. "… milk, a cake tray… stuff for the frosting… oh, and… what's your favorite fruit, my lovely flambé?"

"Strawberries!"

The rest of the morning was spent making the batter for the birthday cake, because the author of this fic is not aware on the procedure of how to make cake. Once Sanji carefully placed the cake mix into the oven, he beamed. "Good job, Sarah-san! You're much better than Luffy or Zoro...…"

"Yeah, I know, I'm just awesome like that!" She grinned, hugging her love cook.

Sanji giggled, his eye popping into a heart once more, then they two of them decided to sit around for the next hour or so to wait for the cake mix to bake.

Time passed, the two of them spending the time having a conversation on what stroke flies swim when they're in soup. Finally, Sanji stood from his chair and went over to the oven. Sarah squealed, standing and hurrying over to stand next to him. She watched as her love cook pulled out a perfect cake and placed it on the counter. "Yay! It's crap-tastic!"

"Better than that, my love, since you helped me make it." Sanji grinned widely, looking the cake over.

Sarah, however, didn't have a long enough attention span to simply look the cake over. She jumped up and down in excitement, hurrying over to the other side of the kitchen and getting the already prepared frosting. She placed it in front of the cake and enthusiastically began to coat the cake in the pale pink frosting. Soon enough, they had a delicious lump of pink in front of them.

Sanji looked around, frowning. "Now, where did I put those strawberries…"

Following his gaze, Sarah blinked. "Can't find them?"

"I'll find them." He replied confidently, now rummaging through the cupboards.

"No, it's ok, Sanji, the cake'll be fine without strawberries, too…" She said, blinking as the cook hurried past her to look in the refrigerator.

"No! My Sarah-san needs strawberries for her cake!"

"Well… maybe we can find some on the next island?"

"That's a good idea! I'll go ask Nami-san where the next one is." Sanji grinned, tossing off his apron as he walked out. Sar-hah followed after him, then bumped into his back because, unfortunately, Sanji had stopped walking.

Sarah blinked. "Sanji-kun, what's wrong?"

"Looks like we're at an island already." The blonde chuckled, taking Sarah's hand and leading her down to the deck.

Lera and Zoro's screaming followed them and just as Sarah and Sanji walked onto the deck, the two swordfighters burst out, yelling.

"You have moss for brains, then!"

"There's a point in my third sword for some of my techniques!"

"WHAT DOES IT MATTER? MIHAWK beat you with a DAGGER and ONE crap of a big sword!"

The rest faded into gibberish as Lera blinked from where she had been sitting on Zoro's shoulders and whacking him with one of her katana sheaths. "Woah, it's an… island."

Island was putting it gently. It looked almost like a continent, the island was so huge. It was covered in tropical trees and there was no sign of life seen from the ship, but that didn't mean no one lived there.

Luffy jumped down to stand on the railing. "Another island! What's this one called, Nami?"

"Omg-i'm-gonna-die-in-soup Island… what a weird name…"

"Do you think they have strawberries on this island, Sanji-kun?" Sarah asked, peering out at the strange island.

"I bet they do. I've never met an island without strawberries."

"Uh… really?"

"Well, no… but that's not the point."

"Let's go!" Luffy yelled just as the ship dropped anchor. The rest of the crew followed. Once they made it to the beach, Sanji cleared his throat. "Sarah-san and I are going to look for some strawberries. We'll be back soon."

"What do you need strawberries for?" asked Lera.

Sar-hah grinned, waving back as she and Sanji set off. "You'll see!"

As Sarah and Sanji walked into the forest, the girl looked around. "We'll be back soon, won't we, Sanji?"

"Of course, my dear Sarah-san."

**15 minutes later….**

"Sanji-kun, do you even know where we are?"

"Of course, Sarah-san. I have a very good sense of direction."

**30 minutes later…**

"Sanji-kun, you're sure we're not lost?"

"Of course not, my love!"

**An hour later…**

….

"It'll be alright, Sarah-san… eh…. Sarah-san?"

Sanji stopped dead, looking around frantically, but the girl was nowhere in sight. That was strange, considering he hadn't even noticed that she had gone missing.

"Maybe she just got lost or fell behind a bit…" he muttered, turning and deciding to backtrack. He hadn't even taken two steps when he heard a scream.

"SANJIIIIIII!"

The cook was so startled that the cigarette fell from his mouth. "Sarah-san!" In a flash, he was sprinting in the direction of the scream.

* * *

Back on the beach… 

Nami yawned, watching Lera and Zoro fight with a bored expression. "Wonder what's taking Sanji and Sarah so long…"

Usopp shivered. "Maybe they got attacked! We should go look for them…"

Luffy ran right into Lera, knocking her over in the process. There was screaming and Luffy jumped to his feet, laughing and running past Nami and Usopp with a snarling Lera on his heels. Zoro, shrugging, joined Nami and Usopp. "Look for who?"

"Sarah and Sanji!" Usopp said.

"Eh, leave them be… they'll be fine." Zoro shrugged, lying down and yawning. "I'm taking a nap."

Luffy ran past again. "AH HAHAHA!"

"I'M GONNA KILL YOU, YOU RUBBER FREAK!"

* * *

"SARAH-SAAAANNNN!" Sanji yelled, running past trees and jumping over bushes. 

Sarah seemed to have heard him, because she yelled again. "SANJI-KUN!"

"SARAH-SAN!"

Sarah sighed. "Well, at least he heard me…" She looked around mournfully from where she was being carried on the backs of hundreds of tiny men with aprons and chef hats.

It was strange. She had been happily walking a bit behind Sanji when she had suddenly been dragged off to the side, then plopped into the outstretched arms of these midget cooks. They hadn't done anything yet. All they were going was scurrying through the forest and kidnapping Sarah, who was too freaked out to do anything.

The midgets carried her over a bridge. Sarah wouldn't have even noticed, if it wasn't for the fact that as soon as they had crossed the bridge, one of the cooks pushed a button and the bridge collapsed into the river far below at the bottom of the canyon like thing.

They were just starting off again into the forest again when Sanji ran out. "Sarah!"

"Sanji! I'm being kidnapped by-!" She got cut off, however, because the midgets were running even faster and the sudden speed and knocked the breath from Sarah and knocked her over bodily as well.

"Sarah!... oh… shit." The blonde muttered, taking survey of the small canyon and the river below. It seemed at least 25 meters to the other side and who knows how far to the bottom. With a firm nod, he took a few steps back and then went into a running start, planning to jump the canyon.

"MY LOOOVVEEEE!" He yelled in his flight across the wide space. He was almost there… he was going to make it…

"Oh shit." He didn't make it.

"I'M FALLING IN LOOOOVVVEEE!"

* * *

"ALL HAIL THE SOUP GODDESS!" 

Sarah squeaked in shock, looking down at the hundreds of tiny cooks from her platform constructed from lots and lots of pots. She looked down at her pale blue apron, then back at the midgets. Sarah was confused. Sarah was lost. Sarah wished Sanji was here.

She had been taken to this small village in the middle of a large clearing and then placed on this strange platform. To the left of her loomed a large, ancient temple with a statue of a cook figure in front of it.

"Glorious goddess, my name is Munchi. What, may I ask, is your name?" The leader of the midget cooks stepped forward, bowing.

"Eh… Sarah…." She said, staring in fear and mild disgust at the cook.

"BEHOLD! Our prophecy has come true!" Munchi motioned to some of the other cooks. They pulled down a large curtain, revealing an old mosaic of tiles built into the huge temple where the cooks obviously worshipped their Soup Goddess.

"Holy…. fudgesicle…" Sarah gasped, looking at the mosaic. It was her, alright. Well, sort of. There was the long brown hair and the pale blue apron, and the dress underneath. Yeah, it was her.

But that wasn't the only part of the mosaic. It kept going. There was a picture of unhappy cooks around a large pot of what looked like soup. Then appeared the god again, shining. The cooks were happy, then…

Sarah almost started screaming. The last pictures contained her, the Soup Goddess, being thrown into the soup pot, which began glowing. The final tiles showed a collection of joyful cooks, eating the soup.

The cooks hurriedly bowed in front of her, Munchi still standing. "Please, oh sweet Soup Goddess… sacrifice one of your many humans forms to our soup! Bless it with good taste and rich texture! Please, Soup Goddess! We beg of you!"

The blue-aproned girl screamed. "NO! Get the crap away from me, you won't eat me! It's like friggin' Catsoup! AHH!" She turned, fully planning on running away from the frightening midget cooks, but she forgot about being on top of the platform. She flew right off, thudding to the ground and knocking herself out.

Munchi stepped forward. "The Soup Goddess, Sarah, has agreed to sacrifice herself! Behold! She has even killed herself, sparing us the trouble. Prepare the soup, my fellow cooks!"

* * *

Oh noes! What will happen to Sar-hah! Is Sanji dead! AHH! 

Find out next time on…

Nah, I'm just kidding.

* * *

Sarah had been tied up with spaghetti and now ten midget cooks carried her on their shoulders up a long set of stairs which led to the top of a huge pot where a soup bubbled. 

All the other cooks began to chant softly.

"Good… soup. Good… soup. Good… soup."

Sarah groaned softly. She had a massive headache. At first, she didn't open her eyes. Then her ears picked up the chanting and she felt hands holding her up. There was a wave of heat coming from somewhere and she could smell something delicious. She decided to risk looking around.

"Oh yeah, this again…" She sighed, recalling the whole scenario from before. She felt the cooks go up the stairs, panting with the effort of carrying a girl twice their size. When they reached the top step, the group stopped. The heat from the brownish concoction was almost overwhelming. Sarah squirmed slightly, preparing a huge shock of electricity. She closed her eyes, taking a deep breath just as the chanting below turned to screaming.

"GOOD SOUP! GOOD SOUP! GOOD SOUP!"

"Static pocky!" Sarah yelled, the name coming to her out of nowhere. A wave of electricity rose from her body, arching outwards to form hundreds of lines of electricity, all of which went into the cooks. The midgets screamed, dropping the girl to the floor, but, unfortunately, they were also too close to the edge of the pot. She managed to stand somehow, still bound, but she quickly lost her balance and fell sideways, right into the pot.

"How DARE you treat a lady like that!" A familiar voice yelled. Sarah didn't even manage to scream when Sanji, swinging across on a vine, caught her. He kept swinging, landing on the other side of the clearing. "Stay here, my love." The blonde growled, then ran back into the crowd of cooks. Sarah was left to blink and watch Sanji beat the crap out of the midgets.

"How dare you even call yourself cooks? You should be ashamed! Harming a lady like that!" He dealt out kicks to and fro, looking furious. It was over rather quickly, considering who Sanji was fighting. The cooks lay around the clearing, groaning in pain.

Sanji, looking calm again, lit a cigarette. "You don't need a god to make your cooking better. You do things like that yourself, and if you had any pride, you would know that sacrificing beautiful ladies like Sarah is wrong." As his final word, he swept out a leg and knocked over the entire pot of soup. "Start over. That soup was horrible anyway."

And with that, he left.

Sarah hopped up and down. "Good job, Sanji-kun! I was all... about to die... which would suck… and you saved me!"

Grinning, Sanji set about untying Sarah. "It was nothing. Are you alright, my love?"

"Oh, I'm fine. But didn't you fall down a cliff or something?"

"Eh… yeah…" Sanji muttered, finally untying the knot and pulling the rope away. "Let's get back to the Going Merry, everyone's probably worried about us…"

"Yay!"

As they walked, Sarah remembered something. She sighed, lowering her eyes. "Hey Sanji-kun…"

"Yes, Sarah, my love?"

"We never did get any strawberries…"

"Oh, yes we did…" The love cook suddenly grinned, pulling forward a bag he had been carrying. He handed it to Sarah. "Look inside."

Surprised, Sarah took the bag and peered inside. She frowned, pullin out the contents. "It's… a…"

It was a huge strawberry. Bigger than her head. Sarah squealed, replacing the huge fruit into the sack. "Where'd you find it?"

"When I fell down into the river, I was getting out and found those cooks' garden filled with really big fruit and vegetables. I hope one is enough."

"Of course it's enough! Thank you, Sanji-kun!" She squealed, hugging her cook. He giggled again, a heart eye appearing again.

* * *

After the two of them had gotten back and had explained their story to the rest of the crew, the Strawhats went to sit around the table where they usually ate. Sarah looked excited. There was a small pile of presents for her and Usopp had even made streamers and decorations. 

"Happy birthday, Sar-hah!" Ler-hah said happily, hugging her friend. Not too far off, Luffy was grinning, despite the huge lump on his head from Lera.

"Thank youuuu… just don't tell anyone how old I am."

"I won't." Lera smirked, returning to leaning back in her chair.

"Sanji, where's that cake!" Nami yelled impatiently.

He didn't reply. Instead, he walked into the room, carrying the cake in one hand. After a bit of twirling, he finally set the cake in front of Sar-hah.

Lera blinked. "That is one spiffy cake."

It was all pink and there was the huge strawberry, planted right on top. The candles had been placed around it in any place possible. Sanji, beaming with pride, sat down in the chair next to Sarah. "Happy Birthday, my love."

"Thank you, Sanji! The cake looks great!"

"Blow out the candles, Sar-hah!" said Ler-hah.

"'KAY!" She took in a deep breath and blew out the tiny flames on each of the candles. The crew cheered and as Sanji began to cut the cake and give everyone a piece, Lera eagerly jumped up and pushed forward her own present to Sarah. "Open my present! Open it! Please?"

"Ok, ok… sheesh." Sarah blinked, taking the lumpy package. In one motion, she ripped off the wrapping paper. It was a large package of strawberries. It also happened to be the package that Sanji had lost from before.

Lera smiled widely. "Happy birthday!"

"… thanks, Ler-hah."

* * *

Hehe, Happy Birthday, Sar-hah. 

Next chapter will continue with the usual plot.

Sarah says all the cooks are poopchefs.

Thank you for the reviews! I'll reply to all of them next chapter!


	13. The Power of a Sandwich

I don't know what to say.

Thanks for the reviews, all.

Happy Birthday to me. Squee. (twas' the 13th)

And Happy Valentine's Day. Ugh.

* * *

Sanji's Cupcakes

Chapter 11 – "Test One – The Power of a Sandwich"

* * *

Last time, on Sanji's Cupcakes…

Sarah, Lera, and the rest of the Straw Hat Crew left Penguin Island. Just as they let their guards down, Lera was attacked by the DoomDOOMDoom ship and taken prisoner!

Oh…. Mehgoosh.

Now, Sarah and Lera go up against the mysterious Ramoney Baloney while Tracey goes against Ben-ho Ross… who she seems to know?

WHAT?

THIS IS SO POOPAW!

JUST LIKE BACK-FLIPPING CUPCAKES!

* * *

"Ben?"

"Tracey?"

….

"What the hell are you doing here?"

Both crews stopped in their tracks to stare at the two who were now pointing accusingly at each other.

Tracey finally spoke up, her eyes narrowed. "You're supposed to be back in Fullmetal Alchemist land!"

"And you're supposed to be on that creepy bat island!"

They spoke in unison once more. "SO WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING HERE?"

The two glared at each other for a few more moments before Ben sighed and scratched at his gravity-defying hair a bit, looking sheepish. "I kinda got bored… you can only transmute so many things… and the homunculi were on my tail."

Now it was Tracey the medical-witches turn to look apologetic. "I joined a new crew. Y'know, the one you're attacking?"

"Oh… really?" He glanced around at Luffy's crew. All of them stared oddly at the strange-looking ship captain. Ben-ho then pointed over his shoulder. "Even that girl who I shot and kidnapped?"

"_YOU_ SHOT LERA?" Tracey screamed, her regretful mood fading into a furious one. There was the sound of a loud smack and everyone fell to the ground, covering their heads, leaving only the reunited couple to remain standing, Tracey fuming and Ben-ho whimpering slightly, clutching at his cheek where there was a bright red hand mark.

"What was that for? I didn't do anything…"

"You shot Lera! You poopaw, you can't just shoot random people!"

"She was attacking my ship! With her floatiness and stuff!"

"She was floating around it and about to head back when you just shot her! She didn't _do _anything!"

Ben-ho pouted. "She was going to do something…"

"You're such a… a… GAH!" She raised a hand, about to smack him again just for being impossible, but the ship captain threw up his hands protectively. "Alright, alright! I won't shoot her anymore!"

Lera and Sarah, who had been staring blankly at Ramoney Baloney, finally made their presence known to the couple as the crews on both ships, realizing that Tracey and Ben weren't going to kill each other, cautiously began to stand again.

Sarah buzzed angrily with static. "YOU COULD HAVE KILLED HER!"

Without a change in expression, Ben-ho turned and, in a fluid motion, drew a ridiculously large handgun from his sweatshirt and pulled the trigger, firing a bullet precisely into Sarah's arm. The girl yelped in pain, stumbling sideways and knocking into Lera. Together, the two friends (nakama!) flopped over.

There was another loud smack. "WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO?"

Tracey was livid. Her boyfriend dropped the gun hurriedly, now holding onto his other cheek. With both hands clutching at his face, he looked amusedly like he was screaming girlishly without the scream. "Ack! I'm sorry! Reflexes! It sorta slipped!"

"SLIPPED?"

"Stop slapping me!"

From that came a frosty silence, the two staring at each other.

"Hey, uh… Ben-ho?" The first mate came forward to the railing on the other ship.

He turned slightly, not wanting to take his eyes off Tracey in case she slapped him again. "What is it?"

"What should I do with the two spiffin' prisoners? Make 'em boogie? Jelly dance? Um… eat cake?"

The first mate of the DoomDOOMDoom ship was called Ramoney Baloney. Her ridiculously detailed description: Aged 17 with bright, lime green eyes and brown, scarecrow hair, she appeared to be wearing an interesting array of clothes and accessories. In her hair was a bookmark in the shape of a duck, being used as a hairclip. Around her neck was a black leather collar with a bell attached. She wore a shirt decorated with hamburgers, multiple pins attached to it, one of which said "I know karate and, like, two more Japanese words." Around her wrists were black wristbands and an Invader Zim shoelace was tied around her arm. Only one of her nails had any polish on it. Her one thumbnail boasted a green color. Moving on from that, the first mate also wore bright orange puffy pants, which were rolled up at the bottom just below her knee. Two chains hung from the pants, one with a star on it, the other chain seemed to be made from rubber bands. The pants appeared to be rolled up to reveal Ramoney's piratey high socks. One was striped with red and white, the other purple and white. As shoes, she wore black sneakers, one with Gir laces, the other decorated with Kuroneko.

With a grin, she tilted her head, pulling forth the two girls she had tied up with a chain of multi-colored rubber bands. "I could always force cookies down their mouths."

Zoro and Sanji stepped forward, looking angry. "Let them go!"

Ben-ho, with a smirk, turned slowly to face the cook and sash man. "How far will you go to get them? They're my prisoners now…"

Now it was Luffy's turn to get irked. "Let my nakama go!"

Tracey, however, sighed. "It's no use, guys. He won't let Lera and Sarah go yet. They're his prisoners, after all."

Ramoney Baloney laughed. "Yup! Good luck getting them back!"

Lera wriggled around, making a smear of blood on the ship. "Don't we have a say in this?"

Sarah was in a vast amount on pain still from her gun shot, so she kept her silence as she watched blood drip out of the wound.

Ben-ho smirked, tucking his hands into his sweatshirt pocket. "We're going to compete for your crew members."

Nami frowned, not liking the sound of this. "And how will we compete?"

"Through series of tests." Ben-ho replied, looking almost gleeful.

"Oh no." The Going Merry's Medical Witch muttered, covering her eyes with her hand.

"And what will they be?" Zoro glared at Ben-ho, keeping a tight grip on the hilt of Wadou.

"The first one… shall be cooking."

At that moment, Ramoney began singing "Cartoon Heroes", looking quite pleased with herself.

* * *

_Back with the Gangster Crew… (look at that spiffy feature)_

"What's that up ahead?" Emily-ly walked forward to the front of the ship, peering out at the horizon where two lumps had materialized.

"Like, ohmygod, hax, I think you should go play with my kitty." Mike sang, dancing past her as he twirled around with a cat.

Marshmallow Kyle proved to be of more help. His suit in the wash, he was clad simply in jeans and a shirt with "BOOM, HEADSHOT!" spelled out on it. "From what I can conclude, relying solely on my vision, there is an imaginary percent that those two unidentified substances are ships."

"Ships, you think?" Emily-ly tilted her head, munching on pocky.

"Yeah, I think. At least, that's what it looks like."

"Lemme see." Larissa shoved forward. After squinting for a bit, she nodded. "Those're ships, alright. Now, let's see, what does K sound like…" Turning, she walked back to her Cedric Diggory shrine.

"What the fuck is going on?" Joshu Wa Gorgy screamed from his cage.

Emily-ly and Marshmallow Kyle exchanged looks before agreeing silently to finally let their Captain out. The first mate opened up another box of pocky. "Mike, get the cow-wearer out of his cage."

Kyle had been let out ages ago. He was lurking below deck, watching My Neighbor Totoro and Gilmore Girls.

"I'm sad, 'cause I suuuuccckkk…" Crooned Mike, taking his kitty and tossing it at the cage. With a loud "MROWR!" the kitty poofed into oblivion and the cage broke open. Kicking away the cage door, Captain Gorgy stalked out and went straight to Emily-ly, a murderous look in his eyes. Just as it seemed that he would kill her, he simply extended a hand and squeezed her side gently.

With a scream, Emily-ly collapsed. "Stop it! Holy crap!"

Smirking, Joshu walked out to the mast head to look at the ships on the horizon. Out of nowhere, moogrunting with fury, Opium ran and head butted the Captain of The Crow 2 Yo, Bish right into the sea. When he resurfaced, spluttering angrily, his long stream of curse words was lost in a mouthful of seawater, and the Gangster Crew didn't hear him anyway. The ship sailed right by him. In vain, Joshu tried to swim after it, but he was too slow. He could barely swim anyway. Just as he was about to start planning out his options on what he should do when abandoned at sea, a layer of frogs rose up beneath him and sped after The Crow 2 Yo, Bish. Gorgy sat in disgust, dripping with salt-water. Once the little frog ship, built from Emily-ly's Devil Fruit powers, got close enough to the ship, the first mate leaned over the railing, grinning. "How about we make a deal, Gorgy."

He glowered up at her, feeling angry at having his crew rebel on him this way. "Fuck you."

Ignoring his words, Emily-ly continued. "I let you back on the ship, back as Captain of the ship, more importantly…"

With a dark scowl, he looked up at her, knowing he had no choice. "For what?"

"In exchange for you wearing a rabbit suit for a month."

"WHAT THE HELL?"

Emily-ly smiled innocently. "Do we have a deal?"

In response, Joshu simply raised both of his middle fingers at his first mate.

Shrugging, the girl turned to walk away. "Suit yourself."

The frog layer that had been supporting the dirty-mouthed captain sank, plunging him bodily into the sea once more. "DAMNIT! ALRIGHT! ALRIGHT! AGREED!"

The treacherous first mate, smiling, turned around. The frogs bubbled up out of the water again, this time creating a ladder right up to the edge of the ship. With a grimace of disgust, Gorgy climbed up the squishy ladder and returned to the deck, looking, if possible, more sour and annoyed. Squeezing water out of his rainbow tipped hair, he walked forward, assuming command again. "Alright. Let's head for those two ships. Maybe we'll kill whoever on it."

"Righto!" Marshmallow Kyle jogged by him, going to the control room to change the direction of the ship.

Tossing off his ruined leather trenchcoat, Captain Gorgy went to sit on the railing on his ship, casting Emily-ly a glare before sighing and shaking his head, lapsing into silence. Because he's emo like that. Gosh.

* * *

_On the DoomDOOMDoom…_

Sarah and Sanji perked up at the same time. "Cooking?" The chef asked, suddenly smirking. "If it's cooking you want, then it's cooking you'll get."

"SQUEE! Sanji's gonna poon them with his hawt cooking skillz!" Sarah cheered, rocking back and forth.

Lera and Sarah now sat on the wooden deck, their backs to the mast pole, their hands and legs bound. The first victim, Ler-hah, looked around rather boredly at the DoomDOOMDoom members, while Sar-hah listened intently to the happenings between the Going Merry Crew and Ben-ho Ross.

Zoro crossed his arms across his chest. "And what about Lera and Sarah?"

Ben-ho shrugged. "They'll stay on my ship as prisoners until you pass all of my tests. Trust me; they're in the best of hands." An unexpected, dark smirk crossed his features.

The Medical witch, Tracey, frowned, but said nothing.

Nami could tell that something was up. "What kind of hands, exactly?"

"Dead ones."

That certainly got everyone's attention.

Now that they looked closer, when most of the DoomDOOMDoom members moved through a ray of light, they would almost shimmer with transparency and, now that Lera thought about it, she could have sworn that one of the enemy pirate's arms had fallen off, only to have him re-attatch it again.

Sarah didn't take this news calmly. "WE'RE SURROUNDED BY DEAD PEOPLE!"

Ramoney shrugged. "Not really. Ben-ho and I aren't dead."

"Everyone else is, though." Ben-ho added with another smirk.

"Great. Just great. Held prisoner by ghosts and zombies." Lera scowled, appearing rather gloomy.

As Ben-ho went into discussion about the first test with the Going Merry crew, the two friends aboard the enemy ship were approached by two boys.

"Stop whining so much, it's not so bad." One remarked, pulling out a bag filled with clean bandages.

The second smirked. "Once you get used to being dead."

Without explanation, the two guys went to wrapping Lera and Sarah's wounds. The girls could only watch helplessly, considering that they were bound. It wasn't until the boy who was bandaging Lera's shoulder almost touched her chest that she screamed in squirmed away. "YOU PERV!"

The boy, who happened to have blondish orange hair, fell backwards, looking rather shocked. "What… no I'm not…"

Lera glowered at him, sitting up from where she had fallen onto her side as a result from her outburst. "Hentai."

"Shut up…" The boy muttered, morosely staring at the deck.

With a sigh, Lera shrugged. "Alright, alright, I'll let you try one more time. What's your name, anyway?"

"Nate." He cautiously picked up a roll of bandages and began wrapping Lera's shoulder. Eager as he was, he started up a conversation. "Former crew member of the Crow 2, Yo under the command of Captain Joshu Wa Gorgy. But then he lynched me… and it all sort of went downhill from there."

"Hey, we know Gorgy!" Lera and Sarah chorused, grinning widely.

Sarah's bandage was almost done. Her dead pirate hadn't said a word, but had spent most of the time giggling with amusement.

He stopped from his giggling. "Really? I used to be first mate for him… until Queen Emily-ly killed me…"

"Oh, that sucks… wait, Emily-ly killed you? _Queen_ Emily-ly?"

"Yeah, of Brown-Noo-Noo Island. We were going to kill her, but she killed me first. My name's Eric, by the way." The boy grinned, shaking away his brown hair from his eyes as he finished bandaging Sarah's shot arm.

Together, Nate and Eric, former Gangster Crew pirates, sat back to blink at the self-appointed musicians of the Going Merry, Sarah and Lera.

Lera blinked in Eric's direction. "So how'd you die?"

Eric smiled happily. "Spork in the neck."

"That sucks." Remarked Sarah, not knowing what else to say.

"So why'd you bandage us?" continued Lera, looking from Nate to Eric.

"Ramoney Baloney told us too."

"She said she didn't want you two to bleed all over the place."

"That was nice of her... hey, the cooking competitions starting!" said Sarah.

"Yay!" The two girls, after some difficulty, stood up and hopped over to the railing of the DoomDOOMDoom. A platform had been set up inbetween the two ships and there were now two kitchens sitting on said platform. Sanji was slipping on heart-covered apron that he had gotten from Sarah on Christmas. Ben-ho was rolling up the sleeves of his sweatshirt and pulling on headphones.

Nami, looked slightly worried about the whole cooking competition, stood in the center to give them the sign to begin.

The rules were as such.

One, they only have half an hour to make a single dish, which would be judged by two people from the Going Merry and two from the DoomDOOMDoom.

Two, the ingredients could only be those that each ship carried, nothing more.

Three, no fighting, biting, or cursing to loudly at each other.

Four, no poopaw-ing around. (this rule had been enforced strictly by Tracey)

Nami took a deep breath. "Ready… go!"

In a swirl of black, Ben-ho zoomed off into his kitchen, while Sanji coolly strolled over to his own.

"GO SANJI!" Lera yelled, hopping up and down.

"C'MON, SANJI-KUN!" Sar-hah screamed, hopping as well.

For the next half-hour, the two guys cooked up a storm. Or, to quote a certain song, they "cooked it up." Spatula power, yo. The entire time, Sarah and Lera managed to keep screaming Sanji's name over and over whilst booing Ben-ho. Eric and Nate stood nearby, looking rather oblivious to the whole event.

Finally, it all came down to the last minute. Sanji was done. He leaned against one of the counters, smoking, while watching Ben-ho race around on the other side of the platform.

The seconds ticked by… and then… "Time's up!" Nami yelled.

"YAY SANJI!" Cheered the two captives on the DoomDOOMDoom,

"About time." The blonde muttered, letting out a stream of smoke. Grabbing his four covered trays professionally, he strolled off to the side of the platform closest to Ben-ho Ross's ship, where a table had been set up to seat the four judges. Luffy and Usopp sat in as the Going Merry judges, while Ramoney Baloney and her pet snowflake judged for the DoomDOOMDoom. Sanji set his dishes in front of each of the four, and smirked. "This is for my lovely Sarah-san." He beamed, skipping over to her to plant a kiss on her cheek before returning to sweep off the covers of his dishes.

Sarah, looking like she was about to pass out from shock as she held a hand to her cheek, was shaken out of her daze by Lera. "Look at Sanji's dishes!"

"Nyah?"

There were gasps. Four perfectly constructed sandwiches now sat in front of the four judges.

Ben-ho looked furious. "SANDIWICHES? What the hell?"

Sanji smirked knowingly. "Sometimes… the simplest dishes… are the most delicious."

The other captain only growled with annoyance as the two of them turned to watch the judges eat Sanji's dish. They chewed, swallowed…

"This is really good, Sanji! Better than what you usually make!" Luffy laughed, eating his sandwich in one gulp. That was 1 point to the Going Merry.

"Yup! I've made sandwiches like these in my day all the time… top-grade!" Usopp smirked, leaning back in his chair. Another point for the Going Merry.

Ramoney Baloney chewed for a while, blinking, before swallowing and shrugging. "Yeah… this is pretty good..." and, thus, adding the third point to the Going Merry.

The snowflake remained silent. No point.

"All I need is four points to beat you, now." stated Ben-ho, walking forward. He served each of the four his own dishes, sweeping off the lids dramatically.

It turned out to be soup.

Luffy squirmed in his chair, wrinkling his nose in disgust. "EW! What's this!"

"IT'S SOUP, YOU MORON!" The other captain yelled, looking irritated.

With reluctance, the judges sampled Ben-ho brown concoction of a soup.

Luffy gargled something along the lines of "Bad… really.. bad…" before slumping over, passed out. No point for the DoomDOOMDoom.

Usopp, however, had enough strength. "This is TERRIBLE! Which reminds me of the time when I…"

"Yeah, shut up. I think the soup is fine." Ramoney Baloney interrupted him, adding a point to Ben-ho's crew.

The snowflake said nothing. No point.

Beaming with pride, Nami pointed to Sanji. "Going Merry wins!"

"YAY SANJI!" Sar-hah and Ler-hah yelled, trying to hug each other with their wrists tied.

With yet another triumphant smirk, Sanji walked off the platform, returning to the rest of his crew. "It was a piece of cake."

Frowning, Ben-ho shrugged it off. "Alright. You won this one. Now it's time for the next test. I CHALLENGE YOU ALL… TO DDR!"

* * *

It's certainly looking up for the Going Merry Crew, with one competition already won. Will they win the next test, or will they dance dance revolution themselves into failure?

And what of the Gangster Crew? When will they come in?

DUDE, THIS IS SO DRAMATIC!

WHERE'RE THE BACKFLIPPING CUPCAKES?

Fine out next time… on Sanji's Cupcakes!

* * *

Wooooo! What a fun chapter to write. And it's only going to get better, considering I have a bunch of more tests to plan.

In the meantime, Sar-hah is leaving for Univeral Studios and leaving me all to myself, so the next chapter will wait for her. Despite the fact that she's such a poopaw.

I, again, had no time to proof-read, so bear with me and my mistakes. Gah.

Now you know you want to review, right?


	14. Filler Episode 3

I did this really... just for the heck of it. Although you can call it for my own birthday… A bit selfish of me, considering this whole fic is mine, but to reserve a chapter especially for me? … I'm just retarded.

Ah well. Deal it with. It's a short Zoro/Lera fluff thing. And, also, it's a continuation of the second filler episode.

* * *

Sanji's Cupcakes

Filler Episode #3 – "A Ruined Sweatshirt."

* * *

"_Blow out the candles, Sar-hah!" said Ler-hah._

"'_KAY!" She took in a deep breath and blew out the tiny flames on each of the candles. The crew cheered and as Sanji began to cut the cake and give everyone a piece, Lera eagerly jumped up and pushed forward her own present to Sarah. "Open my present! Open it! Please?"_

"_Ok, ok… sheesh." Sarah blinked, taking the lumpy package. In one motion, she ripped off the wrapping paper. It was a large package of strawberries. It also happened to be the package that Sanji had lost from before._

_Lera smiled widely. "Happy birthday!"_

"… _thanks, Ler-hah."_

Both full with delicious cake, Sarah and Lera had gone to bed, Sarah hugging her last box of pocky to herself as the ship rocked gently on the calm sea. It was already past midnight, and the Going Merry was silent… until a loud thump sounded up on deck.

"Ler-hah…" Sarah called, opening one eye.

Lera, in reply, simply rolled over onto her other side, burying her head deeper into her pillow.

"Lera." Sar-hah said again, both eyes open now.

Still, the other girl didn't reply, still sleeping.

Sarah, with a groan, grabbed a nearby object and chucked it at her friend who lay in bed a few feet away. "Ler-hah, go see what the noise was…"

The object turned out to be a clock. It bounced harmlessly off of Lera's blankets as the girl poked her head sleepily out of her cocoon of blankets and comforters, plucking out one headphone out of her ear. She had accidentally fallen asleep with her cd player still working. "What…?" She mumbled, blinking in Sarah's direction drowsily.

"I heard something up on deck…"

"And why should I…" She paused, yawning slightly. "… go see?"

"Because it was my birthday."

With a moan, Lera tumbled out of bed, grabbing her two katanas just in case something really was up on deck. "Fine, fine… poopaw."

Sarah simply turned back over and fell back to sleep in seconds.

Her friend wobbled up to the deck, clad in a shirt and loose plaid, pajama pants. She pulled on a sweatshirt, too, knowing that it was cold during the nights. As she walked up the stairs, she heard the clunks and thumps that had awoken Sarah. Frowning, both at being woken up, and at the fact that someone else was up at this hour, she opened the door to the deck and looked around. What she saw made her blink in disbelief, then smirk slightly.

There was Zoro, equipped with all three of his treasured swords, and shirtless, on top of that, bathed in cold light from the full moon in the clear sky. He was sweating, despite the chilly air, fighting against invisible foes as he trained out different moves and techniques. Lera leaned against the doorway, watching sleepily as he moved in silence, grunting every so often in exertion, putting all of his effort into every sword swing, slash, dodge, stab…

It wasn't until ten minutes had passed, Lera almost asleep at her post, that the moss-headed swordsman missed a step and both of his swords accidentally shot from his hands. He paused to take a few deep breaths before turning away to face out at the sea. "One day… I'm going to be the greatest swordsman ever…" Zoro's hands curled into tight fists as he turned to retrieve his swords, his breath coming out in white, smokey mist in the frosty air.

Lera grinned, finally announcing her presence in a soft voice. "Not until you defeat me, y'know! 'Cause you never know, I might be the greatest swordswoman…"

Without a word, he flung a sword at her. The weapon thudded into the wood beside her head, jolting her out of her half-asleep state. "Woah!"

Zoro walked forward, his usual frown pasted across his face. "Lera?"

"Yeah…" She blinked, moving her head slightly to stare at the sword with wide eyes. "… that would be me."

"I'm… sorry… I thought you were an enemy…" He flushed slightly, reaching out to tug the katana out of the wall. As he sheathed all three of his swords, Lera watched him.

"What are you doing out here so late?"

"I could ask you same the question. I was training…" The swordsman replied, going to get his other sword.

The girl smirked slightly, scratching her bed-head hair. "And I was up here under the command of Sarah, who thought someone was attacking the ship, I guess. Oh well."

A cool breeze swept across the deck. Lera shivered and Zoro noted it. "You should get back to bed. I will too, I'm almost done anyway..."

"I'll wait for you." She grinned, preparing herself to sit until a thought occurred to her. "Hey, you need a sparring partner?"

"… sparring partner… well…"

While the two had been training together over the past few days, they never actually fought, but trained individually. They were both rather reluctant to cross swords again, knowing that it'd end up with them fighting verbally again.

He sighed softly, sheathing Wadou as Lera walked forward onto the moonlight flooded deck. They stared at each other for a moment before Zoro looked away and sighed once more, leaning against the ship railing. "You sounded like someone I knew just then…"

Lera joined him at the railing, looking out at the dark waters. "Kuina?"

"… yeah."

"I'm sorry." She said softly, then nudged him gently. "C'mon. A good fight'll make you feel better."

He managed a small smirk. "Yeah, alright. C'mon, then."

The two of them stepped away from each other. Lera grabbed the two sheaths of her swords, sliding them off and flinging them into a corner of the deck. Zoro, his eyes narrowed, unsheathed his swords, carefully placing Wadou in his mouth. He didn't bother with the bandana. Lera, letting out a stream of air from her mouth, which hung in the air for a moment before dissolving, took up a fighting position. Zoro did the same

Another breeze swept by them, tossing up Lera's hair and only skimming the surface of Zoro's moss.

"You ready?"

"Always am."

Another moment passed in complete silence as they simply stared at each other. It was amazing how Lera had only been deep in sleep 20 minutes ago, yet now she was wide awake in the middle of the freezing night, about to spar with her number one adoration in life. Fan girl wise, that is. She imagined that she was developing an actual crush on him, too, now that she had gone beyond simply obsessing over an anime character to meeting the character in person in the anime itself. But that could've been just her imagination.

She didn't have anymore time to dwell on it. In a flash, the two of them darted from their positions and so began their fight. Slashing, dodging, the pair sparred to the best of their abilities, using the whole ship deck as their fighting ground.

It stopped after 15 minutes. Lera was being pinned now against the mast pole. She blocked his three swords with her two. They locked eyes, each pushing against the others weapon. With a light growl, Lera finally shoved his swords away and dodged nimbly to the side. She didn't get far as she stumbled over Zoro's outstretched foot. She teetered forward before finally tottering backwards, giving the marimo head his chance. There was a loud clang and Lera found herself pinned hard against the mast pole again, the two weapons in Zoro's hands in a crossed, scissor like position across her abdomen. The third katana was pressed against the girl's neck.

Lera frowned slightly, finding Zoro's head to the right of her, and what annoyed her most… was that stupid... smug… _smirk_ on his face. She raised a sword, pushing away the weapon at her neck impatiently. She expected the swordsman to pull away, but then, following his gaze, she saw that he had accidentally embedded the two other swords into the mast, pining Lera there. "Great, Zoro… now I'm stuck..."

She paused for a second before smirking unexpectedly. "… catch."

It all happened in a quick, fluid motion. Lera tossed to Zoro her own swords, at the same time reaching down and tugging out Sandai Kitetsu and Yubashiri and jumping up to push off of the mast pole and fly at Zoro, who had neatly caught her own two katana and took a few steps backwards. With that, they began dueling once more.

The fight was getting more dangerous and a lot faster as the two darted around the deck in a flailing of multiple swords. The pair also began to take more risks. This proved obvious about five minutes into the fight. They had ended up back to back somehow. Lera gasped in shock, then, together, they spun around to face each other. Too late Lera realized what Zoro had in store. She managed to jump back at the last second, but not before Zoro swung his swords around, tearing right through Lera's sweatshirt. She continued to fly backwards, the tatters of the sweatshirt coming off, until tripping again and hitting the deck floor, rolling over a few times. She finally halted, stomach up. She didn't even have to take a shaky breath when she found her own two swords against her neck and a smug smirk, on top of that.

"Got you again." Zoro chuckled, pinning Lera to the ground by sitting on her legs.

"Damnit!" She viciously elbowed him in the stomach, shoving him to the side and moving with him.

Now Zoro found Lera sitting on his stomach, holding his swords against him in the exact same manner, grinning widely.

"Haha."

Zoro frowned, staring up into Lera's hazel-green eyes and her triumphant grin. She was sweaty from the fight and breathing heavily, but still looked pleased with herself. "Looks like… we're still even." He smirked grimly.

"Yup. Plus, you owe me a new sweatshirt." At any other time, she probably would have noticed that she was sitting on a shirtless Zoro… and pinning him to the floor, no less.

… but she noticed it anyway. Goosebumps rose up on her arms, acknowledging the cold atmosphere around them. "Eep. Er, sorry, I'll get off of you now…"

Zoro then realized that little fact too, and he flushed slightly. "Er, yeah…"

They set off their swords to the side and, accidentally, attempted to get up at the same time. This didn't work out too well. With a yelp, Lera fell over and somehow fell back on top of Zoro, who collapsed back to the ground, Lera on top. This resulted in a hopeless mess of limbs and two bodies.

They rolled to the side, and, miraculously, managed to untangle themselves. However, it now turned out that Zoro, with Lera still on top, somehow had his arms wrapped tightly around her waist, hugging her tightly to himself. The girl squeaked in surprise, blushing as she found herself being pressed against Zoro's bare chest and her face inches away from his.

For the hundredth time that night, they simply stared at each other. Lera didn't mind her position at all, but, y'know, Zoro being Zoro…

"Sorry… Lera…" He sat up, letting her go.

"It's ok…" She murmured, almost regretfully. They both stood, collecting their swords and sheaths, Lera her ruined sweatshirt.

"Well…" She grinned brightly before yawning. "I'm going back to bed."

"Alright. Sorry about your sweatshirt."

"Ah, it's ok. If I didn't love you so much, Zoro, I wouldn't forgive you. 'Night." With her fan girl like comment still lingering in the air, she turned and went back to the girl's quarters below deck.

Zoro blinked before sighing and shaking his head, returning to his hammock as well.

Sarah heard her friend's return and blinked as Lera's dark figure made it's way carefully back to her bed. "Took you long enough… what was it?"

"Zoro training. Go back to sleep, you poopaw."

"Ugh... 'kay." Sar-hah didn't need anymore persuading. She rolled onto her stomach and, at the start of soft snoring, Lera could tell she had fallen asleep again.

With another yawn, Lera placed her two swords on the bedside table and collapsed gratefully back into her blankets and comforters. They were, amazingly, still warm.

_But… _Lera thought as she began to fall asleep. _… not as warm as Zoro…

* * *

_

Fin. Gosh, fluff is so... fluffin' hard to write. I love this chapter. Then again, I should. But if I went any farther than that, I would be chased down by Zoro fan girls for putting my OC character with him. Bah. It was still fun to write, I love writing awkward moments and fight scenes... so together, I hearted writing this chapter. Squee. Now Sarah and Tracey can laugh at me.

Oh well. Next regular chapter will be up soon!


	15. Gay Dancing Sailors

I tried l oading this stupid chapter up 3 times. It's finally worked. Huzzah.

Yay! The second chapter in less than two days? Spiffy. Oh, and enter the return of humor, 'cause the last filler wasn't funny in the least and Sar-hah didn't like that. So it's back to spazzy fangirl fluff, not romantic crap that I can't help but write sometimes…

BY the way, filler episodes two and three are inbetween meeting Ben-ho and Penguin Island. So yes, they stopped at an extra island. –shrug-

**apple bomb**- Yes. You got shot. Hey, YOU were the one complaining that you didn't get hurt enough. And yes, it's very sad that you know the words to that song. Stop it. xD

**RebelWriter** – Yeah, you have a right to be abusive. Since Ben-ho's just going and shooting everyone. That suggestion… has been noted. Prepare the creepy mini-skirt people! And don't make fun of me for meh fluff. Shut uuppp…

**S.H. - **Sarah and Lera, you mean? xD Yeah, Sarah and I have noticed Mr. Oda's habi t to make all the women on One Piece anorexic. xD Chopper is not in this fanfic, unfortunately. When I first started writing, I hadn't seen the episodes with him or Robin in it, so they're not here. I'm planning on either adding them later or starting a whole new story with them. We'll see. Thanks for the review!

**CapT.BlacK** – Hehe, Tracey told me. Yes, thank you, I (LERA!) am not a fluffin' piggy bank. And… nice second review. I'm sorry I confused you xD

**They.Call.Me.Smith – **I'm sorry. I'll remember that for next time xD

**Ben-ho Ross – **Stop whining, Ben-ho xD... and thank you, I tried.

**My Dear, Darling Ramona xD – **You know I wanted to add more, Ramona. But I'd be too scared to leave my house, then. I'm not good at writing fluff, after all. NUU! WHY, KYLE AND OTIS? WHYYY! I'm so coming over soon to make more --. Oh… sorry about your eyes. Dang, I must've forgotten to write that down. Eeps. Sowwy.

* * *

Sanij's Cupcakes

Chapter 12 – "Gay Dancing Sailors"

* * *

Last time on Sanji's Cupcakes…

The fight for Lera and Sarah began with the Pirate Captain, Ben-ho Ross!

The first test out of who knows how many! The Cooking Contest! With Sanji-kun as the winner!

Now our favorite crew moves onto the DDR contest… who will win?

Not Ben-ho. He can't DDR for his life.

* * *

"I CHALLENGE YOU ALL… TO DDR!"

"Oh snap." Lera and Sarah stopped dead, being very familiar with the game. In fact, Ler-hah had proclaimed herself the "Master of Light Mode." Which isn't saying much.

"DDR?" Luffy and the rest of the gang were confused, having never heard of such a thing.

"You'll see." Ben-ho, smirking, clapped his hands together and smacked them down on the platform. There was a flash as a transmutation occurred, then the two kitchen arenas were gone, replaced with a large screen and two DDR pads.

"It's a game, you see…" Ramoney Baloney stepped onto the platform, the large bologna slice on her head wobbling slightly. "… and I'm going to POON you at it!"

"This isn't good." Lera mumbled, holding a hand to her shoulder as she looked at the Straw Hat crew. There was no one that would really do well on the DDR pads besides Sarah and herself, but they were hurt.

Luffy's nakama glanced around at each other, wondering who would go up, when Ramoney decided to choose. "You. I challenge you."

Lera nearly had a heart attack as Zoro stepped forward, frowning. "Alright, then."

With a gleeful "Yay!", Ramoney Baloney hopped onto the first pad while Zoro went to stand on the second one.

"Now, the rules are simple enough. The arrows, y'see, will move up on the screen. Once they're over those other arrows, you step on that exact arrow on your DDR pad." The scarecrow haired girl explained, flipping through the characters for Dance Dance Revolution Extreme 2.

"Yeah, yeah, whatever." The moss-head muttered, stepping impatiently on the pad, quickly getting the hang of it.

Ramoney shrugged, skimming now through the songs until stopping on Cartoon Heroes. She chose standard while Zoro picked light, finding beginner to be demeaning.

"I hope Zoro knows what he's doing…" Lera bit her lip anxiously, hopping from one foot to another nervously.

Sar-hah raised an eyebrow. "Calm down, you poo… what're you worrying about him so much about?"

" 'Cause he's never played DDR before!"

The music started, Ramona jumping right into it, skidding her feet across the surface of the dance pad, actually looking like she was dancing.

Zoro, to give him credit, did try… his agility and reflexes gave him that much.

_We are what we're supposed to be. Illusions of your fantasy._

_All dots and lines that speak and say, what we do is what you wish to do!_

Ben-ho grinned, moving away from the two dancers. "The goal here is to get the highest score and the highest points."

_We are the color symphony; we do the things you want to see._

_Frame by frame, to the extreme!_

"If it ends in a tie on one of those categories… they'll try another song."

_Our friends are so unreasonable. They do the unpredictable._

_All dots and lines that speak and say, what we do is what you wish to do!_

_It's all an orchestra of strings. Doing unbelievable things._

_Frame by frame, to the extreme. One by one, we're making it fun!_

Sarah and Lera weren't paying attention to Ben-ho, their attention only on the dance off. They jumped up and down, cheering gibberish for Zoro. Ramoney ignored everyone, skipping easily and looking as if she was having the time of her life as the bologna (pronounced balog-na) on her head wobbled violently. She didn't even notice the background behind the moving arrows, which, now, was a cornucopia of moving images of back-flipping cupcakes.

"GO ZOROOOO!"

"YAY!"

_We are the cartoon heroes, oh. We are the ones who are gonna last forever._

_We came out of a crazy mind, oh, and walked out on a piece of paper._

Then, Ramoney Baloney, Sar-hah, and Ler-hah all began singing.

_Here comes Spiderman. Arachnophobian!_

_Welcome to the toon town party!_

_Here comes Superman. From never neverland!_

_Welcome to the toon town party!_

_There's still more to come, and everyone will be _

_Welcomed at the toon! Toon! Town! Town! Paaaarty!_

With a gasp, Zoro collapsed to his knees, breathing heavily and sweating. "That… was… harder… than I thought it would be…"

Ramoney Baloney wasn't even breathing hard. Grinning, she adjusted her balog-na and waited for the scores. She achieved a triple A. Not surprising, considering her beastly skills at DDR. What was surprising was that Zoro had somehow earned a B, despite his suckiness.

Lera and Sarah slumped across the DoomDOOMDoom's railing, looking dejected.

"Dude… Zoro got his sorry butt pooned…." Lera gloomed, careful not to jostle her shoulder.

"How depressing…" Sarah agreed, sighing.

"Ben-ho's crew is the winnahhh!" Ramoney Baloney exclaimed, hopping around excitedly before turning around to poke Zoro with her foot. "Haha… you suck."

Nami, back on the Going Merry deck, assessed the situation with a frown. "So now we're even…"

Luffy stepped forward as Usopp and Sanji carried Zoro off the platform, back to the Going Merry. The rubber captain shook his fist at Ben-ho Ross. "C'mon, I'm next! Bring it on!"

Raising an eyebrow, Captain Ross stepped forward, grinning with excitement. "You really want to know? When you're sure to lose?"

"BRING! IT! ON!" Luffy yelled, jumping onto the platform.

"Alright… I CHALLENE YOU NOW!... TO!... an eating contest."

"Wow." Sarah said, grinning slightly.

"Yeah… he's stupid, alright." Lera smirked.

"YEAH!" Luffy jumped up, grinning widely and laughing as he held his hat to his head. "Am I up against you, then?"

"No way." Ben-ho shook his head and backed away hurriedly.

Nate, former member of the Gangster Crew, walked forward, beaming. "You're going against me!"

"Wow." said Sarah.

"Yeah... he's stupid, alright." said Lera, nodding.

"YOSH! Let's go!" The straw-hatted pirate captain twirled around eagerly.

A bit disturbed by Luffy's cheerfulness, Ben-ho transmuted the DDR arena into two tables, each laden with…

Nami's eyes widened. "Chocolate covered pretzels?"

Indeed, both tables were weighed down with immense bowls, filled to the brim with pretzels covered in chocolate.

"Ohmygodchocolatecoveredpretzels!" Sarah squealed, dashing forward. Lera managed to restrain her. "Down, Sar-hah…"

"Aw…"

Ramoney Baloney skipped up to referee. "Eater-peoples, take your positions!"

At this, Luffy and Nate sat down at their tables. Considering that Nate, someone without a functioning stomach, is going up against a person with a bottomless stomach …I'd say the odds are pretty much against Nate and Ben-ho Ross. Let's just skip to the part where we all skip with glee that Luffy kicked Nate's arse.

"The winner is Luffy." Ramoney muttered, sitting down, looking disappointed. Luffy jumped up from the table where he was surrounded by empty bowls, his bloated stomach wobbling

"YAY! GO LUFFY!" Lera screamed, dancing in place.

"God, Lera, don't be such a dork."

She abruptly stopped, narrowing her eyes. "Stuff it."

As the two girls began rapping those two lines, laughing, Luffy exited the platform in triumph, returning to the Going Merry crew to be congratulated, even by Zoro, who had already recovered from his DDR mishap.

Ben-ho, unhappy, walked over to Tracey, who had been watching the whole proceedings in silence. "Tracey, they're beating my crew…"

"So? You got yourself into this, you poopaw."

"It's not fair." He pouted slightly. Even his gravity defying hair seemed to slump.

"That's not my fault! Go finish up your stupid tests and let my friends go!"

"Fine…"

Meanwhile, Ramoney Baloney was talking with Sarah and Lera again. Nate was being comforted by Eric in the background. In other words, Eric was laughing at him while Nate glared at him.

"So what're you names?"

"I'm Lera."

"And I'm Sarah."

"Hey, your names rhyme." The first mate's eyes widened.

"Yeah…" sighed Lera, rolling her eyes.

"We know."

"Really?"

"Yeah, everyone tells us that." nodded Sar-hah, suddenly looking bored.

"Everyone tells me that I'm weird, but I usually ignore them." Baloney beamed.

"Maybe…" Lera looked up at the balog-na on the eccentric girl's head. ".. it's 'cause of the baloney on your head.

She shrugged. "Probably, but I don't mind too much." Ramoney stared at them for a moment longer before randomly plunking a huge orange cone on Nate's head and scurrying off.

This left Sarah and Lera alone, as Eric and Nate ran off to yell at Ramoney, and the rest of the DoomDOOMDoom crew had disappeared somehow.

"So now what?" Lera asked, looking around. Ben-ho was busy transmuting the platform into something, while the Going Merry crew looked on. Sarah glanced over at the Straw Hats as well. Sanji soon caught her eye and waved eagerly, his eye popping into a heart. "SARAH-SAAAN!"

"HI SANJI!" Sarah squealed, waving back as best she could with her better arm.

Lera locked eyes with Zoro, who grinned, but the two quickly looked away, blushing slightly. Sarah, of course, noticed. "What the crap, yo? What's with the whole blushing thing?"

"Nothing…"

"C'mon, tell me!"

"IT'S NOTHING!" Lera yelled angrily, blushing even brighter.

A mischievous grin suddenly lit Sarah's features. "It's something with Zoro, isn't it?"

"No…"

"Yes it is. What'd you do-oo?" She poked Lera teasingly in the stomach, who in turn squirmed away.

"Nothing important… just..." Her voice sank to a low murmur, so no words were distinguishable.

"Wha-aaat?" Sarah poked her in the side now, giggling.

Murmur, murmur.

"Tell me!" Poke poke poke.

"Hrpmh."

More poking and torturing from Sarah.

"ALRIGHT, ALRIGHT! Don't poke me anymore!"

"Fine." Sarah leaned against the railing, grinning as she listened.

"Remember that night you woke up 'cause you heard a noise? It was Zoro… and he was training. So I said I'd be his sparring partner… and he sorta kicked my butt first, but then I pinned him, and it all got complicated..." She blinked at Sarah for a moment, waiting for a reaction, until, finally, she rushed the last sentence out. "… so I kinda ended up laying on his chest and he was hugging me and stuff."

Sarah had been expecting something like that. The two friends stared at each other before grinning and starting to giggle.

"Hehe, Zoro hugged you." Sarah snickered, poking Lera's side again.

"Yeah, I know…" Ler-hah poked her right back, blushing, but laughing anyway.

"So kawaii."

"Shut uuuppp…" She looked away, flushing.

They would have kept giggling, if not for the loud, angry voice that interrupted them.

"Well, well… if it isn't rubber boy… and friends."

Ben-ho's eyes widened and he pointed. "It's Jebus!"

"WHAT?" Everyone yelled, turning to look in the direction of Ross's pointing hand.

Somehow, Joshu Wa Gorgy had managed to sneak up on the two ships on The Crow 2 Yo, Bish and was now stepping onto the platform between the DoomDOOMDoom and the Going Merry. Emily-ly, Mike, both Kyle's, Larissa, and Opium all eyed the two enemy crews suspiciously until M. Kyle and Mike spotted Lera and Sarah, whom they proceeded to wave to. The girls waved back, squealing at the site of Gorgy, knowing that last time, they had left him in a cage on Penguin Island.

"Alright…" Joshu looked from Ben-ho's ship to the Going Merry, frowning as he leaned against his Icky Stick. Flicking his bangs out of his eyes, he glared at them all in the best emo-glare he could manage. "I don't know what the hell is going on… but I'm about to lay the smackdown on all of ya'll punk bishes."

Lera and Sarah blinked. "Oh snap."

Ramoney Baloney, popping up behind them, poked her head in-between the two. "In French, it's oh claquer."

* * *

What will happen, now that the Gangster Crew finally caught up with our heroes?

Will the author write another crappy chapter like this one?

Or will Ramoney Baloney eat her balog-na?

Will there be any more fluff?

Find out next time on… Sanji's Cupcakes!

* * *

Yeah, I hate this chapter. It just… didn't turn out like I wanted it to. I have no idea why, to be honest. I might be wrong, since I usually never like _any_ of my chapters xD

Reviews would be nice.

The next chapter, though, I promise, will be longer! Really!


	16. Sploding DEATH!

So I haven't updated in more than a month… -cringes- I'm sorry.

What can I say? No excuses can explain well why exactly I didn't update. Loss of interest in all of my stories, I suppose. But now I'm back!

SQUEEE!

Yeah, review thanks are at the bottom now.

* * *

Sanji's Cupcakes

Chapter Thirteen – "Sploding DEATH!"

* * *

Last time on Sanji's Cupcakes…

Ramoney Baloney and Zoro faced off in a DDR competition, the DoomDOOMDoom Crew winning a point!

Then, Luffy and Nate competed in an eating contest, Luffy winning!

Now, Joshu Wa Gorgy and his crew have caught up to our heroes!

OH SNAP! I MEAN, OH CLAQUER!

* * *

Lera let out a dull sigh, propping her bound body against the railing of the DoomDOOMDoom. Sarah, beside her, was already half asleep with boredom. For the past half hour, the captains of the three ships, Joshu Wa Gorgy, Luffy, and Ben-ho Ross, had been arguing. Non-stop.

The Mugiwara pirates on the Going Merry had already settled down and were sitting around on deck, looking bored. Captain Gorgy's crew was busy running after each other in a game of tag, and the DoomDOOMDoom ghosts? Well… they were just there.

Sighing again, Ler-hah closed her eyes tiredly and wobbled in place, softly singing under her breath while Sarah head banged slightly, obviously singing something in her head, too. They were bored. Dead bored.

"How long can those idiots argue, anyway…?" Lera mumbled, glowering in Joshu's general direction.

"If they keep going for another half-hour, I'll eat their faces." replied Sarah sourly.

When they had gotten to One Piece land, the last thing they expected was to be bored. Well, bored often, anyway. Now here they were, stuck on a flippin' _ghost_ ship, surrounded by _pirates, _in _One Piece land_, with too many _italics!_

"I'm bored."

"Me too." Sarah nodded, attempting to itch her head while her hands were tied behind her back.

Lera idly hopped from one foot to another as best as she could, considering the ropes around her ankles. This proceeded to her floating a few inches from the ground.

A thought occurred to her. Grinning, Lera hovered over to Sarah, who was busy now staring off into space. "Sarahhhh!"

"WHAT?" The poor girl was jolted out of her daydreams.

"I can still use my devil fruit powers! While the three poopaws over there argue, I can float the two of us over to the Going Merry and we can get out of here!"

"THAT'S AWESOME!" Sarah gasped, hopping up and down with glee, then stumbling for a moment.

"And I'm sure we'll… we'll…." Lera blinked, her feet touching deck again. Sarah's face was floating in and out of her very blurry vision. Blinking again in hopes of clearing her sight, she noticed that Sarah was suffering from the same thing. "And I'm… I'm…" Her eyes drooped as her breathing became labored. The scene froze on Lera as she slowly sank to her knees. That finally led to her collapsing.

"Le-Lera…. Crap…" Sarah quickly fell to her friend's aid, but her own breathing became slowed. "I… shit." Still grumbling, she flopped to the deck next to Lera.

The two girls slowly passed out to the sounds of screaming and, somewhere, one voice going "Aw, shit, I just cleaning the deck!"

* * *

"I think they're waking up…."

"Who gives a fuck?"

"HEY! THEY'RE MY NAKAMA!"

"… screw you."

"SHUT UP, ALL OF YOU!"

Lera groaned in pain. Because that was all she could really do. Not wanting to open her eyes yet, she first made sure that she was still alive. Voices around here. Check. Wiggling of toes and fingers went well, too. _Well, nothing for it now… might as well get up._

Reluctantly, the girl's eyes slid open.

Luffy's face loomed before her vision. He looked confused. "Are you ok?"

With a grunt and a nod, Lera sat up, looking around through her disheveled bangs. She appeared to be laying on a couch in a large lounge/dining room. Sarah lay on a matching on the opposite side. She hadn't woken up yet.

A scowl suddenly appeared on Lera's features and she shot an accusing look at all the inhabitants of the room. "What the fudge happened?"

Now that her vision had cleared, she could see Ben-ho and Ramona sitting at a table in the middle of the lounge. Luffy, of course, sat on the floor next to her. Nami and Sanji were bent over Sarah's comatose body. Tracey sat next to Ben-ho, scribbling busily in a notebook with her three fellow toaster minions floating around her. And, lastly, Joshu Wa Gorgy was tucked in a corner, sulking.

"What happened?" She repeated, a hint of impatience rising in her voice.

Ben-ho cleared his throat, leaning back in his chair. "I suppose I should be the one to explain.

Lera's eyes narrowed as she crossed her arms. "Yeah, I suppose you should."

"Well-"

"OHMYGODOHMYGOD…O…M…G!" Sarah sat straight up, her eyes wide and rolling wildly in their sockets before she flopped back down. "What the crap happened?"

Sanji smiled. "Oh, Sarah-san, I'm so glad you've come back to us!"

"You passed out with Lera…" Nami shrugging, moving to sit at the table. Sanji, however, seated himself next to Sarah on the couch, practically beaming with joy.

"I did? Oh yeah…" Sarah's eyes roved the room, noting who was there, then she met Lera's blank stare and waved. "HI LER-HAH!"

"HI SAR-HAH!" Lera waved wildly back, then pointed to Ben-ho. "Flippin' continue."

"Right… well, you two obviously have devil fruit powers. And you used them on my ship. Something you can't do. To add to that, you two… alive… peoples… are on a ship full of dead people, and Ramoney and I forgot that if you aren't used to it, there can be some consequences."

"Oh…"

There was a pause, then…

"WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL US BEFORE?"

"I kinda forgot." He tried to put on an innocent look, but that didn't work out to well. Instead, he ran a hand through his gravity-defying hair, accompanied with a shrug. "With the tests going on and all…"

"I don't get it, though…" Sarah said, ignoring her throbbing headache.

The first mate of the DoomDOOMDoom raised a hand. "Ooop, I totally call this question."

In response, her captain shrugged. Taking this as a cue to continue, Ramoney stood, the huge baloney hat on her head wobbling. "Wee-eell… our ship has a charm on it so that no one can use their gum-gum powers against us. That's why this bassapoo here…" She poked Lera's cheek, hard, before continuing. "… she was floating around our ship before, so that's why she fell into the ocean. And the ghosts and zombies that we have on the Doom cubed… well…."

Ramoney jumped onto the table with a wide grin, startling everyone but Ben-ho and Captain Gorgy. "They all have the flu."

Lera and Sarah nearly fell over with disbelief. "WHAT?"

Ramoney, in turn, thumbed her nose sheepishly. "Nah, I'm just kidding."

Cue sweatdrops all around.

"Actually, if you hang around a crap-load of dead people for a really long time, you can get really sick, or, in your case, pass out. Ben-ho and I, who are the only living people on the ship, are already used to it, but since Lera and Sarah sat there for a really long time, it's only natural that they got sick somehow. HEY!"

Acting randomly again, Ramoney pounced from the table, soaring to a destination that soon became obvious. She was going to land on top of Sanji.

Sarah, screaming, jumped away from the couch for fear of getting squashed. It was just in time, too. Milliseconds after, Ben-ho's first mate fell splat on top of a Sanji, who exclaimed in surprise, then let out a giggle.

"YEAH!" Ramoney slapped Sanji's hand. "High-five!"

Sarah sat nearby, looking as if she had electrocuted herself. Lera, along with everyone else, was torn between laughing and staring in surprise.

Sanji could only giggled and get a nose bleed. A girl had just _thrown_ herself at him. He remained dazed, even after Ramoney Baloney nonchalantly slid off of the blonde and sat back down at the table. Then she squealed.. "So there ya go."

Rather in a huff, Sarah seated herself next to Sanji again and tried to jerk him out of his daze.

"… there's something seriously wrong with all of you…" Joshu muttered out of his dark, emo corner.

"So let's go around and introduce ourselves!" Lera said with a bright smile.

"How about we don't, but say we did…." said Joshu, rolling his eyes and flipping his hair back.

Luffy jumped up. "I'll start! I'm Monkey D. Luffy! And I'm gonna be King of the Pirates!"

Lera was next. "I'm Lera, and I'm from Pennsylvania. I like… Mountain Dew…" Her voice drifted off, and she was about to actually finish her sentence when an empty bottle of Mountain Dew collided with her head. "Nyah?"

"Stop wasting our time." Gorgy said bluntly, frowning at her.

Instantly, Lera's eyes burst into flame. "J00000!"

"Me next, me next!" Ignoring Lera, Sarah waved her arms around. Eveyone's attention turned to her. " 'Kay…well… my name is Sarah… and I like giraffes. And oatmeal. No, wait, I don't…"

Sarah shrugged and nudged Ramona, but she seemed now to be staring off into space. She was, in fact, dreaming of Sanji ice-skating… with puffy-fluffy bright pink furry ice skates with heart dangly laces.

Ben-ho quickly lost patience and shoved the girl. "RAMONA! IT'S YOUR TURN!"

"Huh? Oh yeah… I'm RAMONEY BALONEY and this is my BALOG-NA!" She pointed at the slice of meat on her head, grinning.

"BLEEEHHHGGGHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Ben let out a shriek, head banging violently. Introductions were beyond him.

Shutting her notebook with a snap, Tracey sighed. "That's Ben-ho Ross. I'm Tracey, as you all know. We're both from PA…"

"I'm Nami the Navigator for the Going Merry… and that's Sanji, the cook."

Sanji let out a weak giggle, partially recovering from Ramoney's attack.

Sighing, Gorgy decided to join everyone else. "I'm Cap-"

WHACK.

Furious, Lera had flung the bottle right back at the emo captain. The force smacked his head against the wall he had been leaning against, instantly knocking him out.

In victory, Ler-hah jumped up and began dancing around the room. "Hoo-ah!"

"Hey guys…."

Marshmallow Kyle and Kyle wandered into the room, waving.

"Hey Ler-hah and Sar-hah." said the boy in the marshmallow suit. Lera and Sarah, in response, grinned and waved back.

Kyle spoke up. "Do you have a tv anywhere, Ben-ho? To watch… like… Gilmore Girls?"

"My room has that… Ben-ho, is my room still on this ship?" said Tracey, looking from Kyle to Ben-ho, who nodded silently.

Tracey led Kyle out. It all would have ended up fine, if not for Marshy Kyle…

"OH MY GOD, IT'S _SANJI!_" He screamed, running forward to glomp the cook.

Sarah was enraged. "What the popsicle? Why is everyone stealing MY Sanji-kun?"

Marshmallow Kyle crooned softly, rubbing his cheek against Sanji's hair. Which was creepy. Lera stared. "Why is a giant marshmallow making out with Sanji?"

"MY EYES!" screamed Ben, writhing about in agony.

Ramoney Baloney had disappeared.

Nami rolled her eyes. "I'm out of here. Luffy, get the rest of this meeting over with, ok?"

"Ok! Bye, Nami!" Luffy paused from his laughter for a moment to smile and wave goodbye to Nami, who, in a huff, headed back to the Going Merry.

Meanwhile, Sarah was trying to rip Marshy Kyle from her favorite love cook. She was having troubles, since Lera wouldn't help. She was too busy doodling over Gorgy's face in marker.

"Lera, help me out, here! He won't… LET… GO!"

"Hmm, what?" Lera looked up briefly from the huge mustache she was drawing.

"Oh, never mind…." Frustrated with everything, Sarah kicked Marshy Kyle to vent. To her surprise, he flopped right off and, without another word, left the room with a few wobbly steps. "… ok…."

Lera sat back down next to Luffy at the couch. "Wait a second… why are we here again?"

"Yeah!" Sarah and Luffy said simultaneously, then stared at each other.

"Well, we actually brought you down here since you passed out, but it kind of turned into a meeting." said Ben-ho Ross.

A silence passed. Luffy was having a staring contest with Sarah. Sanji was…. we don't know, but he's there. Joshu Wa Gorgy was out cold and scribbled over. Ramoney was nowhere to be found and Lera and Ben-ho were the only ones having a conversation.

Lera spoke up again. "Did you say you were from Pennsylvania before?"

"… yeah… me and Tracey are."

"Are you flipping serious?" said Sarah, her eyes wide. She had missed that somehow before.

"You're from… well… where we came from?" Lera said, exchanging a wide eyed look with her friend across the room.

"You're from PA?"

"Yeah."

"Then I suppose I am." The captain shrugged.

"What world is that?" Luffy asked in confusion.

"Er…. We'll tell you later." Lera quickly waved him off, turning back to Ben-ho as Tracey returned to the room. "So you're saying that you know that this is all an anime?"

"Yeah, he knows. We're anime travelers." said the medical witch, sitting back down next to her boyfriend.

"Anime… travelers?" the two girls blinked blankly, prompting Ben-ho and Tracey to continue and explain themselves.

"We travel through animes…"

"And take on roles in each one. Insignificant ones, but enough so we can have fun."

"We just came from Fullmetal Alchemist, and before, we were in Yu Yu Hakusho. I'm planning on going to DBZ after here…" Ben-ho grinned.

"Woah… cool!" Lera looked rather jealous, but impressed nonetheless.

"But why were you two separated?" said Sarah, taking to fanning Sanji with her hand in hopes of waking him up.

"Ah, well… we decided to separate for a while…" Ben-ho flushed slightly.

"… but it turned out that we went to the same place, so it hardly mattered…" Tracey said, rolling her eyes. "… but what about you two? Why are you here?"

"Us?" Lera looked up, startled. She had been staring at Luffy, who had been staring at the table.

"We got in by accident." Sar-hah said, poking Sanji.

"My computer ate us."

"Oh, that explains everything." Ben-ho laughed.

* * *

"_Captain Planet, he's a hero…"_

Nami looked up from her map to see Ramoney Baloney skipping along the deck in front of her. She turned to Usopp, who was busy fixing his slingshot.

"Why's she here?"

"I dunno, Nami, she just showed up." replied Usopp in his brain scorchingly annoying voice.

"… _gonna take pollution down to zero…" _Ramoney kept singing, jumping down from the railing she had been skipping along to bounce off Zoro's stomach, since he had been sleeping again. Ignoring his choked yell, she wandered over to Usopp.

"Hey Usopp…"

"… er…. Yes?"

"Do you have a lady butt?"

"WHAT?"

Bursting into laughter, Ramoney skipped off again.

"What the hell did she do that for?" Zoro yelled, his eyes wide with pain as he clutched his stomach.

Sighing, Nami and Usopp shrugged and the Going Merry lapsed into silence again.

* * *

"So… can we go now?" Lera asked hopefully

"Well…"

"Ben-ho…" Tracey said sternly. ".. just let them go already."

"Fine, I'll let you go…"

"Yay!"

"But you have to answer one question first…"

"Aw…"

"And I'm going to ask Lera here." Ben-ho pointed at her.

"Me?" Blinking, Lera sat up slightly to hear the question.

"Ok… why are you controlling the homunculus?"

"Oh, that's easy. It's became I'm so damn awesome." Lera smirked.

"Fair enough. Okay, you're free to go."

"SERIOUSLY!"

"ALRIGHT!"

"I WANT MEAT!"

"… but take Ramoney with you."

"WHAT?"

* * *

Sarah yawned, leaning back against the crates she was sitting on. "Finally, we're back on the Going Merry…"

Lera and Ramoney didn't reply. Standing on Luffy's favorite sitting spot, they were waving furiously to the DoomDOOMDoom and the Crow 2 Yo, Bish, where Joshu was now being forcefully stuffed into a bunny rabbit suit.

In a rousing goodbye cheer, various members of all three ships took up into song.

"_Prom is coming up, it's on the 17th of May!  
And i got a message that I want to convey!_  
_  
I'll buy a nice suit and you can wear a pretty dress!  
You will watch me dance and realize I am the best"_

Most of the pirates who didn't recognize the song could only stare. So, mostly, it was Nate, Eric, Marshmallow Kyle, Ramoney Baloney, and Lera who were singing. Loud. Then they went into the chorus all out.**  
_  
_**_"**WILL YOU GO TO PROM WITH ME?**  
(And dance, and dance, and dance, and dance, and dance, and dance.)**  
"WILL YOU GO TO PROM WITH ME?  
**(And dance, and dance, and dance, and dance, and dance, and dance.)"_

And so ended another adventure that was, really, meaningless. Thank cupcakes -.-

* * *

FINALLY! I ended the damn thing. Ok. This chapter sucked. I know. Don't kill me. I didn't even bother reading through, so there are probably even more mistakes. It's because it's my thirteenth chapter.

Next one will be funny, I promise! Oh, and Sarah? If you don't review, I'll _eat your face_.

**kitsuneofthedarknessflame**- Thank you for the review! Yes, believe it or not, Sarah and I act like that. A lot.

**Ramoney**- I did as much as I could for your requestythingums.. You'll get more chances, i'm sure, to do whatever you want, so don't complain xD

**babe300**- Ahh, thank you for liking even the non-funny chapters! Mmm… chocolate covered pretzels… mm….

**Emily**- I can't make head or tails of your confusing rambling… xDD I kid, I kid. But thankee for the review, they put the peaches in my strawberry.

**CapT. BlacK- **A duel, you say? I'll remember that for later, I couldn't fit it in here. Joshu wasn't in a rabbit suit, but he is now! And why the fijuk don't I like my chapters? I just don't. (gay means gay. Think what you will) And ZORO AND SANJI ARE REAL SEOSDSDH)#S... Psh.

**RebelWriter- **Who said I don't truck? xD Your fate will be decided in the next chapter, so there.

**Sandy**- Why, thank you, I love you too. I am quite proficient in the art of rocking sporks. xD Thanks for the review, I'm glad you like the ficceh.

**Risika**- It's a controversy sweeping the nation. Although not really. The English version of One Piece and the manga have Zolo, but his name's really Zoro. I think I explain that in a chapter some while back…


	17. Potent Potion Poo

Y'know what? I was wandering around fanfiction. And I realized. That Sarah and Lera are abnormal Mary Sues. Except... they're not? Because they don't _do_ anything? Except… gah. I'm sorry. I'm sorry for anyone who doesn't read this fic because it's all "Oh, the OC have devil fruit powers and Sanji and Zoro fall in love with them, and, of course, the OC's have already joined the Straw Hat crew"

Yeah. I know. I know. I'm sorry. It's my first OC and One Piece fic. I'm going with it just for laughs and because my friends'll eat me if I don't. I'm not here to make a statement or to have my story get anywhere. _I still_ squirm around, knowing that our names are stuck in here. But there ya go. It's here for laughs. It started out as a passing fancy and a joke, and it still is, really. It's not a serious fanfic. In the least. It's just amusing.

The sequel, since I have a, basically, fresh start, will be written better. I'll know better, and, hopefully, by that time I'll be a better writer.

Buuuut enough of that. Here's the next chapter! And it's a lot better than the last one!

And congrats to Emily-ly, her review was the 100th one! Yays!

* * *

Sanji's Cupcakes

Chapter 14 – "Potent Potion Poo"

* * *

Lera sighed, stretching and yawning. "What a stupid adventure."

Sarah gloomily followed her out of their room, combing her hair. "You're right. It was stupid. We got shot, too."

"Yeah, and that."

The Ben-ho Ross expedition had taken the whole yesterday, so, exhausted, the whole crew had gone to sleep. It was now the next day, the weather was pretty, the sun was shining…

Sadly, Lera and Sarah aren't morning people.

"GOOD MORNING!"

"AHHH!"

Just as the two girls had been heading up the deck, a certain Ramoney Baloney had jumped from the ceiling, beaming happily. No doubt she had not slept all night. This is typical, hyper person behavior, of course.

"And what're you two looking so grumpy for?" Ramona pouted as the girls, grunting, walked past her.

The three friends emerged onto a beautiful morning day out at sea. Lera and Sarah squinted at the bright light, slowly turning and heading to the kitchens. The cheery morning only made them sleepier.

Ramoney followed after them. "Aren't you even going to bask in the glow of the morning sun? Bathe in the dew of the awakening grass? Breathe in the clean, fresh air?"

"No." Sarah said, casting a sleepy sideways glance at the newly inducted crew member.

Lera didn't even look up. "Breakfast. Need."

"Righto, not up for full sentences yet, I gotcha."

The sleepy girls sighed, exchanging knowing glances. It wasn't that they minded Ramoney's presence. They considered her a friend already. It's just that… her ungodly spirit and… _cheerfulness_ was somewhat irking. In the morning, that is.

It was their first morning with Ramoney, but the two already knew the outcome of the mornings to come. It was going to take some getting used to.

"Sarah-san, my dearest, your breakfast is ready for you!" Sanji was awake already in the still empty kitchen. Lera, Sarah, and Ramona, it seemed, were the first ones up.

"Thank you, Sanji-kun…" mumbled Sarah, sitting down at the table and, without really paying attention to what she was stuffing into her mouth, she began to eat.

Lera waved, sitting down next to Sarah. "Morning, Sanji."

"Good morning, Lera-chwan and… you." Sanji paused at the end to frown at Ramoney, who had been grinning hopefully at being addressed with a "chwan" or "san."

Disappointed, Ramoney flopped down next to Lera and, quick to cheer up again, started on her eggs and bacon. Lera clomped her mouth down on a slice of toast, staring at the table with a glazed look.

"GOOD MORNING!"

Ah. Luffy was awake, then.

Sanji pulled out his cigarette to glare at the rubber boy, who had just entered the kitchen. "Oi, meathead, get your head out of the refrigerator, your breakfast is right here."

"FOOD! YAY!" Easily distracted, Luffy tore his gaze away from the fridge and rushed back over to the kitchen table, burying his face into a heaping plate of eggs, bacon, and sausages.

The next few minutes passed in companionable silence, the girls quietly eating their food, Luffy snarfing it down like a vacuum cleaner.

Next to follow was Usopp. "Sanji, what's for breakfast?"

The cook silently handed him a filled plate, one hand busily preparing more bacon.

"Thanks!" Usopp took the food eagerly and seated himself to eat.

More moments passed, more eatage occurred. Sanji was more than happy to refill the girls' plates. He felt rather generous today, so he even gave Luffy more food.

"Sanji, can you make coffee?" Lera suddenly asked, looking up from her eggs.

Sarah raised her hand. "Me, too."

Ramoney blinked, looking at the sleepy girls. "_Coffee? For what? Oh, right, caffeine. Back to breakfast, then."_

Raising a certain curly eyebrow, Sanji looked at Lera and Sarah, confused. "Sarah-san, you drink coffee?"

"Nope. Lera doesn't either." Sarah nodded slowly to her friend seated next to her before a wide grin spread on her face. "You can call me Padrino!"

"GURGLECHOKE!"

Lera sputtered, choking on her eggs and falling out of her chair, causing Sarah to do a double-take. And a triple-take, because she still didn't know what was going on. Finally, she looked to the entrance into the kitchen, where Nami was walking in, followed by Zoro.

Forgetting about Lera, Sarah finished off her eggs and grinned as Sanji set down two mugs of fresh coffee. "Thank you, Sanji-kun!"

Lera only feebly waved in thanks as she dragged herself back into her chair. "Urk."

"And this is for you, my dear Nami-san!" Sanji crooned, going to where Nami had seated herself. Nami yawned in response, murmuring a thank you as a plate of breakfast food was placed before her.

Sanji and Zoro seated themselves as well, starting on their breakfast, and for about 20 minutes, the crew ate in silence.

Luffy, resigning himself to the fact that Sanji wouldn't give him any more food, looked eagerly at the female Navigator. "How long before the next island, Nami?"

Nami sighed, finishing off her eggs. "A few days, actually. There's a long way to go."

"Well, that's not cool." Sarah replied, wincing as she sipped the bitter coffee.

Lera had downed her coffee in three huge gulps. Shuddering and wiping her mouth, she looked up. "I second that."

With a yawn, Luffy stood and went off to sit down in his favorite spot. Nami was soon to follow, and Zoro, muttering something about taking a nap, left too.

Sanji rose from his seat, looking at the three remaining girls and ignoring Usopp, who had fallen asleep at the table. "So what are you girls going to do today?"

"Have a party! Yay!" Ramoney Baloney cried, jumping up, grabbing Lera and Sarah, and dragging them outside.

Usopp blinked, sitting up. "Is breakfast over?"

Sanji shook his head, turning back to wash the dishes. "You numbskull…"

* * *

Ramoney, Lera, and Sarah now sat around the mast pole, laying on their backs and watching the clouds pass by.

Lera was the first to speak. "I hope Tracey doesn't forget us…"

"She won't." Sarah said, sounding firm.

_Ben-ho cleared his throat. Lera, Sarah, Luffy, and Ben-ho now stood on the deck of the DoomDOOMDoom. Ramoney and Tracey had been there, too, but the two had run off to fly a kite._

"_If you want to get back to the Going Merry, you'll taking Ramoney Baloney with you."_

"_What's the catch?" asked Lera, looking suspicious. _

"_Ahh, well… I'm taking Tracey with me."_

_The three Straw Hats all looked outraged. "WHAT?"_

"_In exchange for your freedom, I get Tracey. And you get Ramoney." Ben-ho repeated, then, noting the looks on their faces, continued. "It's just that we're leaving soon, and then Ramoney'll have nowhere else to go."_

_In the background, Ramoney and Tracey had climbed to the Crow's Nest of the DoomDOOMDoom, sporting an immense, shroom shaped kite. The girls had eagerly launched it into the air, before the wind picked up a notch. The medical witch, who had been holding the kite end, was soon picked up into the air._

"_RAMONEEYYY!"_

"_TRACEY!" Ramoney yelled, climbing up onto the railing of the Crow's Nest, pulling out a string from her pants. "I'll save you!"_

"_Ahhh!" The wind carried Tracey along. Ramoney, meanwhile, inflated her parachute pants, making her look rather comical with her immense orange slacks. Little did anyone know that there was an engine attached to those things. With sputtering noises emitting from the parachute pants, Baloney lifted into the air, zooming after Tracey haphazardly, her flying article of clothing not made for going in a straight line. "Totoroooo!"_

_No one below noticed the two. Ben-ho raised an eyebrow, looking at Luffy. "So? Do we have a deal?"_

"_It looks like I don't have a choice!" Luffy shrugged, grinning. "Deal!"_

_As the two captains shook hands, Ben-ho began to cackle maniacally. "MWA HAHAHHA!" _

"_Traceeeyyy!" Ramona floated past him, doing flips in the air as her parachute pants lost control. Tracey, meanwhile, was now over the ocean, screaming. This continued for a few more minutes as the two went around in circles, but, realizing the problem, Tracey wisely summoned her toaster minions. _

_Terry, Prat, and Chet all faithfully materialized, joining Ramoney in the chase after Tracey and the runaway kite, who was still screaming. Tracey, not the kite._

_Luffy had skipped off to the Going Merry to inform Nami of what had happened, leaving Lera and Sarah to deal with Ben-ho._

_Lera spoke first. "Where's the rest of your crew?"_

"_They're all here."_

_Sarah frowned, looking around. "Where are they? The deck's empty."_

_Ben-ho's voice dropped to a sinister tone as he glanced around. "Oh, they're there. They're _always_ there…"_

"_Oh, there they are." Lera suddenly pointed. The deck was unexpectedly filled with the DoomDOOMDoom crew. After a closer look, it was obvious that they were all slightly transparent. Ghosts. Duh._

_Sarah noticed something interesting. "Why are all the girls wearing miniskirts?"_

"_Huh?" Ben-ho turned to see that, indeed, all the female members of his crew were wearing miniskirts. With an agonized scream, he began to run away. "Tracey, we're leaving! Wahhh!"_

_Screaming, Ramoney, Tracey, and her toaster minions all plummeted to the floor as soon as Ben-ho had gone below deck.. The kite string had broken. It was obviously appropriate for Ben-ho Ross's crew to start singing "My Humps."… which they did with great, ghostly gusto._

_Lera and Sarah rushed forward to help. Ramoney seemed fine, bounding to her feet amongst the first chorus of "My Humps." Tracey was dragged up by Terry, Part, and Chet. _

_Sarah didn't wait for Tracey to regain her senses. "Tracey, we're gonna miss you!"_

_Tracey blinked looking a bit windswept as her toaster minions held her up. "Huh? Oh, it's ok. I was actually going to apologize that I'm leaving already! Because Ben-ho's giving me no say in the matter, but, y'know…"_

_Lera hurriedly shook her head. "Don't do that, we should be apologizing that we had to trade you for us!"_

"_Well, it doesn't matter now, does it? We'll see each other again, I'm sure of it." Tracey grinned, her minions disappearing as she finally regained her stance. "Listen, I want to give you two something, as a going away present, alright?"_

_Lera and Sarah blinked, saying nothing as Tracey pulled out two bottles, one a pale pink sort of color, the other purple. The medical witch handed the pink one to Sarah and the purple to Sarah. "Here. Use them wisely, alright?"_

_Sarah looked closely as the bottle. "What is it?"_

"_It's a potion I made."_

"_What does said potion do, though?" Lera was sniffing the bottle curiously._

"_That would ruin the surprise!"_

_Before Sarah and Lera could say anything, Nate and Eric had run up to them, loudly singing "My Humps" and twirling around in mini-skirts. _

"_Nate's hump! Nate's lovely lady lumps!"_

Sarah and Lera shuddered violently, recalling the incident clearly in their minds as they returned back from flashback land. Ramoney spoke up. "Where are those two bottles you got, anyway?"

After the girls retrieved their gifts from Tracey, they sat back down on deck to inspect the bottles.

Lera turned Sarah's pink container this way and that. "Why's it have a heart on it?"

"I dunno…" Sarah replied, shrugging. "Tracey didn't say what it did, remember?"

Ramoney was trying to see through Lera's purple bottle by holding it up to her eyes. "Do ya think Tracey wanted us to drink whatever's inside?"

"I don't wanna drink it." Lera and Sarah said simultaneously, spotting a picture of a broken heart on the purplish one.

Ramoney set the gift down carefully. "Yeah, me neither."

Their eyes traveled over to Zoro, who was snoozing not to far away from them. Um... duh?

Ramoney Baloney was first to pipe up. "Why don't we give it to the guys to try?"

"Good idea!"

Lera stood, took a deep breath, and…

"FREE DRINKS IN THE KITCHEN!"

Luffy nearly fell from his perch on the mast head. "Drinks?"

Zoro was jolted out of his nap, blinking and yawning. "Dri-_yawn_-drinks?"

Usopp poked his head from out of the Crow's Nest, and Sanji looked out from the kitchen itself, confused.

Giggling, the three girls ran to where Sanji was, shoving him none too gently out of the way as Lera went to pull out four glasses. Sarah took it upon herself to try and uncork her pink bottle, while Ramoney danced around the room, singing. Which was, no doubt, helpful in some way.

When the glasses were set and the potion poured out, the four guys sat themselves at the table, staring down at the pinkish fluid.

Luffy, without bothering to ask what exactly he was drinking, downed the potion in one gulp. Smacking his lips, he looked eagerly at the bottle again.

Usopp nudged the rubber boy in impatience. "So? How was it?"

"It's was really nice! Not as nice as meat, but definitely tasty!" Luffy eagerly replied, pouring himself more of the liquid.

Shrugging, the three other guys downed their drinks as well. Lera, Sarah, and Ramoney all exchanged glances.

Soon, the bottle was almost empty. Sarah, squeaking and snatching the container away from Luffy, recorked it and examined Sanji. "They don't look any different…"

Ramoney went to poking Usopp, while Lera looked closely at Zoro. Luffy, meanwhile, stole away to the refrigerator.

Then everything went wrong, as things usually do when mysterious pink liquids are given to guys.

Usopp smiled blearily, his attitude changing visibly as he looked at Ramoney, who was standing next to him. "If you were a pirate, would you have your parrot sit on this shoulder…" He put his hand on her shoulder, the one closest to him, then he extended his arm it to the other shoulder. "… or this one?"

Ramoney blinked for a moment, trying to wrap her mind around the fact that Usopp was now staring at her with a lovesick expression and that last statement had been a pickup line. A lame one, but nevertheless, a pickup line it was. And it had gotten Usopp's arm around her.

It took a few seconds, but Ramoney finally got it and started screaming and beating away at Usopp's head with her fists.

Lera and Sarah were in similar situations.

Zoro grinned, her eyes glazing over as he pulled Lera closer to him. "You're so beautiful… I will love you forever… and ever…"

"Ahh… Sarah…? Help?" Lera looked in earnest at her friend, trying to pull away from the swordsman.

"I'm kinda busy here!" Sarah yelled back, sounding quite distressed. Sanji had wrapped his arms tightly around the girl's waist and was attempting to kiss her, his eye naturally already heart shaped.

Usopp, getting the hint from the cook, began attempting the same thing with Ramoney, who was still beating away at him. "Eh… guys? What's going on?"

Lera was trying not to scream as Zoro nuzzled his face in her stomach, muttering "and ever… and ever…."

Sarah pushed Sanji's face away with both hands, who but he kept trying to kiss her. "It's the stupid potion! Darnit, stupid poo!"

Lera grabbed the two bottles with one hand, the other attempting to keep Zoro away. "Ok, on three, we run!"

Sarah and Ramoney nodded. "Ok!"

"One… two…. Three!"

Screaming, kicking, and punching, the three girls ripped away from the guys, dashing out of the kitchen in a sprint and, still yelling at the top of their lungs, they ran off to hide.

Usopp, Zoro, and Sanji all rose to chase after them, but were distracted as the refrigerator in the back of the kitchen fell to the floor.

"I LOVE YOU! YOU ARE SO BEAUTIFUL!" Luffy yelled, hugging the fridge tightly and planting kisses all over it.

Love potions, it seems, are quite dangerous when used inappropriately on the Going Merry.

* * *

Lera, Sarah, and Ramoney were all now tucked away in the Crow's Nest, disheveled and shocked.

Sarah held up her pink bottle. "It was a _love potion!_ That's why it had the stupid heart on it!"

"And we gave the guys nearly the whole thing to drink…" Lera nodded, her eyes wide with horror as she clutched at her own gift.

"And they fell in love with us! Oh my…" Ramoney squeaked, looking quite distressed now.

They mulled this over as they sat in silence, then Ramoney buried her head in her arms. "Why Usopp? Why? Whyyyyyy?"

The other two started laughing, then slowly became aware of the danger of the situation.

"This isn't good." Lera allowed her head to fall back against the railing of the Crow's Nest. "The potion is obviously made to have whoever drinks it fall in love with whoever they see first, or something along those lines."

"Sanji-kun's gone crazy." Sarah pouted, her face crinkling into a comical scowl.

Ramoney waved her arms about like a helicopter. "Nuu! We need to change them back!"

Lera and Sarah nodded in agreement.

"But how is the question…" said Ramoney, scratching her head thoughtfully. "It's a good thing I have a rocket ship in my back pocket."

"RAMONEY, MY GODDESS OF LOVELINESS!" Usopp's voice ripped through their conversation. The sharpshooter was the first one who had managed to drag himself out of the kitchen and was now wandering around on deck.

"Crap!" Lera gasped, grabbing the purple bottle. "We've gotta run! C'mon, let's split up!"

"Good idea" Sarah agreed, shuffling her feet before standing up.

Lera floated off to hide while Ramoney started up her parachute pants, flying out of the Crow's Nest. This left Sarah to climb down the ladder to the deck below, which she did as fast as possible. The instant her feet hit the deck, she went into a dash to hide below deck, roughly shoving Usopp aside in the process.

Ramoney had sought refuge in Nami's tangerine trees, as Nami herself was busy in the girl's cabin. Busy taking a nap, that is. Ramoney sang something to herself, swinging her feet back and forth as she sat on a branch. She was quite grateful that Usopp didn't know where she was for now. Settled comfortably in the leafy branches of the tree, it was only obvious that now was the perfect time for a nap.

This left Lera. Seeing Zoro heading below deck after Sarah, she turned sharply and ran back into the kitchen, clutching tightly at the purple bottle. Sanji was there, stumbling about and mumbling something about his "eternal lover". Once Lera had gone through the door, Sanji quickly went through it and continued his search for Sarah outside, leaving Lera behind.

Letting out a sigh, Lera settled herself into a corner to wait out the catastrophe at hand and think of a plan, completely ignoring Luffy, who had fallen asleep, still clutching the fridge.

* * *

"Is he awake yet?" Emily-ly poked Captain Gorgy with her foot.

The Crow 2, Yo, Bish was now sailing off in an unknown direction, headed for who knows where. Joshu was still out cold from the Ben-ho incident. To the delight of all, he was also resplendent in a bright pink rabbit suit, which was adorable. Not on him, but the ears were funny to laugh at, anyway. In reality, the captain looked like a demented bunny plushie from hell.

Marshmallow Kyle sat himself down nearby, flipping through one of Emily's Deathnote mangas. "Nope. And we lost Kyle."

It took a minute for Emily to realize what he said. "… what?"

"Kyle. He didn't want to come; he went with Ben-ho and Tracey."

"But… why?" Emily-ly exclaimed, flabbergasted.

M. Kyle didn't even look up. "Dunno. After he had that stupid showdown with Ler-hah, he didn't want to go. Said something about eating ramen and reading Hellsing."

Mike approached, giggling as he walked Opium around the deck of the ship. "That showdown was pretty funny. Lera was all… 'Oh, I'm about to lay the smackdown!' and Kyle was all… I dunno, but then Tracey was all…"

Mike then switched to a high voice. "'I thought I told you that there wouldn't be any poopawing around!'"

Marshmallow Kyle snickered, his suit squeaking. "Yeah, yeah, really. Too bad for him."

Emily-ly pet her koama thoughtfully. "So he's gone?"

Larissa looked up from her books for a moment to sigh. "Yes, he's gone!"

"Dang. Oh, ok, so… what do we do now?"

"Eat ramen?" Marshmallow Kyle suggested, staring blankly at the first mate.

"Yeah! Let's go!"

* * *

Sanji had found her. Sarah didn't know how, but she was terrified. Her hiding place had been good enough, she thought, but the blonde was obviously equipped with a Sar-hah radar. _Obviously_. He had literally flown into the small room, screaming something about love and pancakes, and pulled Sarah into a huge bear hug, knocking the breath out of her.

Now he was giggling softly and ranting on as Sarah struggled to get away and find Lera.

"My dear Sarah, I shall marry you and we shall be together until the end of time! That is our fate! To be one!"

"Get off me! AHH!" She tried to tug her hand out of Sanji's grasp, but he held firm.

"I love you like the sun loves the earth! Like flour likes eggs! Like… bacon is forever faithful with grease! My adoration for you, my beauty, is endless!"

"Oh my flippin' crap, Sanji, you're freaking me out!" Sarah screamed, finally regaining her hand and sprinting out of the room at top speed.

Ramoney had been asleep, but Usopp stumbled upon her as well. After failing to climb into the tree and falling to the floor, the long-nose settled upon standing and staring up at Ramoney, who was just beginning to wake up.

"You are like the sun to me! Please, tell me you'll be with me, for my life would not be complete without your heavenly presence!"

"Huh? What?" The girl blinked sleep from her eyes, then spotted huge eyes and a nose. Exclaiming in surprise, Ramoney dropped from her perch and fell, unfortunately, right into Usopp's waiting… arms… or nose. Whichever.

"Ramoney!" Usopp gasped, puckering his lips as he prepared to kiss her.

"Whh-ch-ch-ch-ch!" Ramoney hissed, karate chopping Usopp away and, with her deathly ninja skills, she made good her escape.

Amidst all this chaos, Lera was thinking, still, having avoid Zoro thus far. "Kay… this stupid bottle has a broken heart on it. That probably means that it's the opposite of the love potion, so this… must be the antidote!"

Pleased with herself, Lera uncorked the purple container and sniffed. It smelled pleasant and fruity.

"Hm… maybe I could try just a little… I mean, what harm could it do?"

She took a harmless sip, but soon, that sip turned to a second one as the addicting taste kept Lera coming back for more. Ooo. Coming back for more. Haha.

Soon, Lera was wobbling about the kitchen, giggling drunkenly as Sanji returned.

"Lera, have you seen my dear Sarah-san?" he asked, looking around blearily, his eye still heart-shaped.

The girl's eyes widened as she recognized Sanji through her hazy vision. "Shanji… you needsh ta drinksh zhis!" She thrust the half-empty bottle into the cook's hands.

Taking a sip, the cook blinked, then also took a few more sips. His eye returned to its regular form, but he kept drinking. Lera only giggled, watching him through droopy eyes. "Hey, don'tsh… drinksh it all…sh…. Hehehe…"

* * *

It was lucky that Sarah had run out to find Usopp trying to kiss Ramoney as he chased her around in circles on the deck. A handy electrical shock knocked Usopp out for a while, thus saving the former DoomDOOMDoom member. It was also lucky that they spotted Zoro ambling into the kitchen. Yelling, they ran after him to warn Lera.

What they stumbled about was not so lucky.

"Happy Birshday… to j00! Happy Birshday to… j0000! Happy BIRSHDAY… dear… uh… wallpapersh… happy birshday to… J0000!" Lera swayed back and forth, singing drunkenly arm and arm with Sanji, who looked similarly smashed as he swung an almost empty purple bottle to and fro.

Zoro was trying to hug Lera, but was having a hard time because of the swaying as Lera and Sanji burst into another rousing chorus of "Happy Birthday."

"Lera, I love you so much! Without you, I am an empty shell inside!" Zoro tried to cope with the extravagant words spewing from his love potion induced mind.

Ler-hah stopped singing to blink tearfully at Zoro. "You're lying! No one loves me! I'm all alone!" She began crying. "No one at all… I'm all alone!"

Sanji started crying as well, waterfall tears streaming down his cheeks as he bit his bottom lip. "My life is a dismal emptiness! There is no love for me in this horrible world!"

Exchanging glances, Sarah and Ramoney stepped forward to stand before the two inebriated crew members.

"What the hell is up with you two?" Sarah asked, looking half-scared and half-confused.

"I'm an emo poopaw." Lera sulked in her chair, glaring at the table.

Sanji started to take another swig of purple potion, but Sarah snatched the bottle out of his hands in the nick of time. Sanji only cried harder. "Why must I be denied the love I deserve? Why?"

Zoro took this opportunity to pull Lera into a tight embrace, nuzzling her hair. "And we'll be together forever… and ever…"

Lera only scowled, not moving. "Forever? My life is over, there's no point for me to go on! I am hated by all and this sucks."

Sanji and Lera went into another round of tears as Sarah stared at the broken heart symbol on the purple bottle she was holding. "Broken heart… this must be the antidote for the love potion! But Lera and Sanji drank too much, so now…"

Ramoney wrinkled her nose, then laughed. "… now they're anti-love! They're _emo_!"

"NO ONE LOVES US! WAHHHHH!"

Sarah cleared her throat, distressed. She handed Lera's purple bottle to Ramoney. "Ok, give this crap to Zoro, Usopp, and Luffy, ok? Just a little, so they can snap out of it!"

"OK!" Ramoney, eagerly taking the bottle, ran off to deal with Usopp first.

The other only sane person in this whole disaster, Sarah, importantly took up her own pink bottle and headed to Sanji and Lera. "Ok. You two poopaws, time to get flippin' un-emo!"

Grabbing Lera's face in one hand, Sarah dumped a mouthful of pink potion into her mouth, then did the same to Sanji. The two drunken poopaws blinked for a moment before finally, slowly, returning to reality.

Lera yawned. "What the hell happened? I feel so hungov-AHHHH!"

The presence of Zoro became more than apparent, as he was, indeed, practically glomping her. Lera screamed some more, trying to pull away from him.

Sanji growled, standing and delivering the ultimate beat down on Zoro's sorry, pooned ass. In other words, he gave Mr. Bushido a nice kick to the head. The swordsman slid across the floor from the impact, slamming into the nearby wall. Sanji proceeded to light a cigarette, looking irked. "What do you think you're doing, molesting a beautiful girl like that?"

Ramoney returned just in time, pouring purple potion to the dazed Zoro. She then proceeded to Luffy, who had fallen asleep on Fridgy.

Both bottles were set on the table. There was only about a cup left in each. Shaking away the effects of the potion, Lera grabbed the two bottles. "I'll keep these things for safekeeping."

Sarah and Ramoney had no objections, they simply nodded.

Sanji frowned at them. "What happened?"

Sarah only smiled sweetly in response, turning to look at him. "Nothing, Sanji-kun."

The other two only shook their heads, giving him a look of "You don't wanna know."

Zoro groaned in pain, standing up and rubbing a bump on his head. "The hell…?"

He looked at the occupants of the room blankly, then sighed and left. No doubt to take a nap. Zoro obviously didn't want to know either. Luffy, meanwhile, was occupied with raiding the kitchen refrigerator, once again treating it as it should be. A kitchen appliance.

"OI! YOU IDIOT, GET YER HEAD OUTTA THERE!" Sanji yelled, going after the rubber boy.

Sighing, the three girls walked out to find Zoro poking Usopp.

"Her Lera… why is Usopp unconscious all of a sudden?"

"Eh…" She laughed nervously. "… he, uh, hit on Ramoney… and she knocked him out."

Ramoney quickly agreed, going with the story. "Yeah, that bassapoo."

"Well, we'd , uh… better get going!" Sarah led her two friends to the other side of the ship, behind the tangerine trees. At the same time, they sat down and let out a relieved breath.

"What a mess…" said Lera, shaking her head in disbelief.

"… love potions are stupid." agreed Ramoney, fiddling with the laces on one of her shoes.

"Sanji and Zoro are scary like that. Usopp… yeah, that was just wrong." Sarah snickered, looking pointedly at Ramoney, who shuddered and stuck her tongue out in disgust.

Lera glanced at her watch. "… not to mention that that was a waste of, like, what? An hour?"

The girls sighed again, but Ramoney eagerly perked up again. "Let's go fishing!"

"What?"

"I wanna catch a bulbasaur and name him PETER!"

* * *

And so ended another short, pointless ramble of Sanji's Cupcakes.

There's no cliffy, there's nothing more to say.

Go on! Leave! POO! ROE ON A SHOOF!

* * *

There ya go. Hope ya enjoyed it, Sarah and Ramoney… and Tracey… and stuff. I tried.

'Kay, time for review thanks.

**Marshy Kyle** – Squee, you reviewed!

**Mona-Poo** – I can't think of anything to say. BUT OMGHAX, YO GOS! And a cameo of PETER!

**Babe300** – Why, no problem. I can mention you every time, if you like. xD Y'know, as a review thanks? Haha. A poopaw? Well. It can be an insult. That's mainly what we use it for, and I don't remember the full definition… -pause- I'll get back to you on that!

**Rocks Won't Fly – **Ah, s'ok. Happens to everyone. Yes, poor Sarah. And I've been waiting a while to stick Joshu in a bunny suit… yeah, you tell your sibling! Woo! Tell it like it is, yo.

**Apple Bomb – **There! I hope it was good enough for ya, damnit! Damn those cucumbers.

**RebelWriter – **I'm sorry! You're gone! Ahh! Don't worry, you'll come back! Promise! And there was your miniskirt thing. And, yes, I know about the grammar mistake… argh.

**Emily-ly** – Argh! That bloody grammar thing again. Bah.


	18. Fetus Love

…

Yeah.

Um.

So.

I haven't updated in ever.

So yeah.

Squee for a new chapter, eh?

Yeah, uh… Dub Piece is awesome. Go Dub Piece!

Aardvarks like spinach in the winter.

Onward, hoes!

* * *

Sanji's Cupcakes 

Chapter 15 – "Fetus Love"

* * *

Last time, on Sanji's Cupcakes… 

There was that whole crap with the love potion.

You probably don't remember, since… the update was years ago.

But stuff happened! Trust me!

* * *

"NO! NO BANANA!" The toddler screamed, flinging away the banana flavored baby food, homemade by Sanji, of course. 

"She doesn't seem to be enjoying her snack…" The cook sighed, wiping the mashed fruit substance from his shirt. "I can't take this anymore…"

Zoro, on the other side of the kitchen, smirked as he gently rocking the 2 year old in his arms. The little girl with the light-brown braids cooed softly, dozing. "Heh, I suppose you just can't handle kids, love cook."

"Shut up!" The blonde yelled, turning to face the swordsman. The little brunette in the high chair giggled, clapping her hands at the sight of the two men fighting.

"Mellorine!" She giggled, clapping her hands and beaming her little baby teeth at them.

Sanji instantly melted, clasping his hands together and giggling. "Sarah's so adorable!"

With a snort, the marimo-head set down the kid in his arms into the other high chair. "Why isn't Nami doing this? She's the woman around her, it's her job…"

It was unfortunate that the two guys had been assigned to baby sitting, but Nami was busy keeping Ramoney away from the kids, as the former DoomDOOMDoom member had nearly throttled Sarah because of her cuteness. Usopp had been scared off by the two girls, and everyone was playing "keep the babies away from Luffy"… for obvious reasons.

Lera innocently blinked her big, brown-green eyes up at him, looking so horrifically adorable. "Monana get banana, ho sit on her."

"Hee hee, banana ho!" Sarah giggled. The two little girls began whacking at each other, squealing and snickering, while Zoro and Sanji only looked on, very tired and… well, terrified.

By now, you should be wondering what the hell is going on and why Lera and Sarah are suddenly two.

Funny… there's actually an explanation for this. Let us start… at the beginning.

Cue flashback!

* * *

"Land ho!" 

"Land ho?"

"Land ho."

"Ho-ho?"

"Land of hoes?"

"LAND HO!"

"Poopaw?"

"Ho-ho landing?"

"Land… ho?"

"Banana-gator?"

"Land! Ho!"

"Make me!"

"… chicken?"

"Hehe… poop."

Another typical day for the Going Merry. Kind of.

Usopp had just spotted an island, getting the whole crew to come on board. This, naturally, included Sarah, Lera, and Ramoney. Who like to say the word "ho."

Hehe… ho.

A few days had passed since the Love Potion incident. After the three girls had finally realized that Usopp, Luffy, Sanji, and Zoro were back to their old selves, they stopped screaming and running away every time one of the guys approached them.

So for the days that passed, Sarah sat around drawing, talking to Ramoney, or getting more cooking lessons from Sanji. Ramoney entertained herself by bothering the whole crew. Strangely enough, she and Luffy were getting along rather well.

Lera, on the other hand, besides fooling around with her two friends, spent a ridiculous amount of time training with Zoro. And sleeping. And eating. Basically, everything she usually did.

And the rest of the crew? Life went on for them as usual. They were more used to sailing for days with nothing to do than Lera and Sarah. Sanji cooked. Zoro trained and slept. Nami kept track of the ship's route. Usopp… did what Usopp usually did. We don't want to know what. Probably something perverted.

Finally, it came to the day when they would come to the next island. Finally, as in, "oh my friggin' god, are we FINALLY here? I can't wait to eat a banana." That kind of finally.

Thus, of course, the whole "Land ho" sequence. Ramoney had been dangling her feet over the railing when Usopp exclaimed the sighting of land from his perch in the Crow's Nest. Lera had dashed out of the shower, resplendent in a purple robe with her curly hair dripping water all over the deck, while Sarah had emerged from the kitchen, covered in flour. She and Sanji had been making waffles. Lera, obviously, had been taking a shower.

Nami stood on the second floor of the deck, grinning. Her calculations on the map had been correct. "Just like I thought."

Screaming and bouncing about excitedly, Luffy skipped up to the sheep's head to gaze out at the island. For him, it never got old. "What's the island called, Nami?"

The navigator peered down at the map in her hands. "Natsuko Island."

"New island, new island, new island!" Lera and Sarah pranced around excitedly whilst Ramoney looked out at the island.

"It's a summer island." Nami explained, descending to the first floor of the deck. As she passed Zoro, who was sleeping by the mast, she gave him a kick in the side. "Wake up!"

"Huh?" He opened one eye, sitting up. "What?"

"NEW ISLAND, NEW ISLAND, NEW ISLAND!" The twirling Lera and Sarah swirled past him, yelling at the top of their lungs.

Luffy, sadly, joined in. "NEW ISLAND, NEW ISLAND, NEW ISLAND!"

With a sigh, Nami headed back to the Lounge to maneuver the Going Merry towards the island. Lera and Sarah continued to whirl and twirl and swirl and… zwirl… until they ran multiple times over Zoro.

Then they stopped because Zoro got fangry.

"WHAT'RE YOU DOING? STOP THAT!"

The two girls stopped dead, blinking up at the green haired swordsman, whose teeth had become all fanglike like they go when he's angry.

Sarah giggled. "Hehe.. Zoro's fangry."

Lera, in turn, beamed. "Fangry fangry."

"Lera, why're you in a robe?" Ramoney noted, blinking as her bologna wobbled on her head.

Then the world exploded and melted and ate a pancake and skipped merrily with a panda, holycrap let's get to the exciting part of this damn chapter.

* * *

"YAYY!" Luffy was sprinting back and forth on the sandy beach of Natsuko Island. It was indeed a summer island. The weather was nice and sunny, and the temperature was up there. 

Lera was floating over the sand, her wet hair tied back, as she was back in her usual clothes. She was watching Ramoney join Luffy in running and screaming, while Sarah was standing and staring around. Sanji and Zoro stood with Usopp and Nami.

Our favorite banana ho pulled out a map of Natsuko Island. "Ok, from what I can tell, there's a village somewhere in the middle of the island. We need to head there to get supplies. Who's going to stay and guard the ship?"

Usopp, naturally, volunteered. "I, the brave sea captain Usopp, will valiantly guard this ship!"

The long-nosed freak… er… "brave sea captain" didn't notice the rolling eyes of the rest of his crew mates. Instead, he eagerly ran back to the Going Merry. He had a bad feeling about the island.

Meanwhile, the other three girls were now standing together. Lera, after fixing her skirt, jabbed Sarah in the stomach and glanced back at Nami. "Can we go now?"

"Sure, go ahead, we're right behind you."

"OH BOY!" Luffy, without waiting for anyone, sprinted off into the tropical forest. Lera and Sarah, screaming, proceeded to sprint after him.

"Er…" Ramoney blinked after them. "Do they always just race into unknown forests like that?"

Nami walked past her, followed by Zoro and Sanji. "Most of the time, yeah."

"SWEET! BONZAIIII!" Yelling and waving her hands, Ramoney Baloney ran after the other three.

* * *

"Ramen ramen ramen…" Marshmallow Kyle chanted, gulping down bowl after bowl. 

Captain Joshu looked up from where he had been sharpening his machetes. "Would you shut up?"

"Ramen ramen ramen." Marshmallow Kyle ignored him.

The Crow 2, Yo, Bish was out in the middle of the ocean, going on in any direction that suited their fancy. Gorgy had lost interest in chasing after the rubber idiot for a while, and now the whole crew, he had decided, needed a break.

When he had announced this, his whole crew had snorted and giggled and walked away.

Gorgy was still resplendent in his pink, fuzzy bunny outfit, to his eternal shame. He attempted to look manlier and sharpen his weapons, but that just made him look even more ridiculous.

Larissa had laughed her head off at him, while Emily-ly could only smirk, looking very smug. Mike was confused and Marshmallow Kyle was still giggling about it. And Nate didn't do much. But Nate died, so never mind.

He still had practically a whole month of torture to go through, and he wasn't about to let his Gangster Crew enjoy themselves with his shame.

Otherwise, nothing new had happened with the Gangster Crew and we don't care about them right now.

* * *

They were lost. Which was typical. That's what happens when you run headlong into strange territory and just… keep running. Lera pouted, seating herself on a rock as Sarah practically throttled Luffy. 

"Look what you made us do! Now we're LOST! AHHHH!"

Luffy could only laugh and hold on his hat as Sarah shook him back and forth.

"Well… considering how we haven't even gotten that far into the forest, I suggest we turn around and head back. That way, we'll meet back up with Nami… who just happens to have a map."

Sarah and Luffy turned to stare at Lera's sudden logic, then, in silent agreement, they began to backtrack.

It was unfortunate that the newfound plan didn't work.

"Lera, I think we're even more lost now…"

"Shut up."

"WAHHHHH!"

Hearing the strange screaming, Lera and Sarah glanced at each other for a moment, blinked, then turned right around and began running away from the screaming. "AHH!"

Unbeknownst to them was that the whole "Wahhh" thing was coming from Ramoney Baloney. Who ran over Luffy in an attempt to catch up the two other girls.

And so, in typical … ridiculous chase scene fashion, Ramoney dashed after Lera and Sarah, who were running away from her. All three, of course, were screaming their heads off.

They soon had run so far into the island that they ended up in a strange clearing.

The two girls in the front stopped to look around, confused. Ramoney then caught up, sailing right into them and knocking the whole group over.

"… ow."

"My uterus!"

"Nyahhh!"

"MY 'LINGS WILL EAT YOU!"

Yeah, that last voice didn't fit in with any of the three girls.

Lera sat up, sitting on Sarah's leg and pushing herself up using Baloney's head. "What? Who's there?"

"Get the crap off me, you douche twinkie!" Sarah yelped, bashing into Lera, who in turn flopped over onto Ramoney. The three began whacking against each other, screaming and yelling.

The mysterious voice, for understandable reasons, got impatient.

"SHUT UP!"

They stopped, blinking as they looked up. Now that they had finally decided to pay attention to their surroundings, they noticed a few things.

Firstly, there was a strange, plate-like rock in the center, decorated with symbols. Secondly, there were three figures standing not too far off, all of which were in hooded robes. Funny how they hadn't seen that before.

"You two are Lera and Sarah, right?" The middle stranger pointed at them.

"That's us!"

"Who's the other girl?" The hooded guy to the left said.

"I'm Ramoney Baloney! And I have a belly button!"

The girls stood, this time without any argument, and looked at the three cloaky people.

"Yeah, well, uh…" The middle one pulled back his hood. "Can you two…" he nodded at Lera and Sarah, "do me a favor?"

"SURE!" The two girls yelled eagerly, raising their hands as if a stranger asking them for favors was something that always happened to them. Which was unlikely.

The middle one, who appeared to be the leader, scratched his head, which was topped with short brown hair, then pointed at the stone disc in the center of the clearing. "Can you look over there?"

Not finding anything suspicious with that, Lera and Sarah turned to gaze in the direction he had pointed.

A light orb had formed in the center. Again, it's beyond anyone's comprehension how they hadn't noticed that before, but notice now they did. And the orb was shiny.

"Ooo… shiny…." The pair said in unison, slowly moving towards the light.

Ramoney, on the other hand, walked towards the three strangers. "Who are you guys, anyway?"

"I'm Otis." The middle one said. The other two shuffled their feet. "These are my henchmen. They don't do much, don't mind them."

"Ooo… shiny…" The girls continued to walk to the light.

"Sweet, I've got a henchman! He's a snowflake! And his name isssss….." She clapped her hands, doing a brief jig, and then lunged at Otis. "BASSAPOO!"

"Ahh!"

At the same time, the clearing seemed to explode with light. Lera and Sarah had finally reached the orb. Like moths to a light. Because they were stupid.

The searing white light filled everything and anything, blinding Ramoney.

Once the light had cleared, the three cloaked guys were gone. Ramoney had somehow ended up in a tree, and Lera and Sarah were nowhere to be found.

"Lera, Sarah, Ramoney, are you three alright!" Nami ran into the clearing, closely followed by the rest of the crew. They looked wildly around, having seen before the flash of light through the trees.

"Over here…" Ramoney replied meekly, waving from the tree.

As soon as Sanji had helped the girl from her predicament, Luffy went forward to look at the stone disc, where two lumps lay. Two lumps that hadn't been there before.

Two lumps, as it turned out, that were living and breathing. These two lumps were…

The rubber captain jumped up and down excitedly after poking one of the said lumps. "Hey guys, look over here, come see what I found!"

Sanji walked up to Luffy. "What is it?"

The cook followed his captain's gaze, and then his cigarette fell from his mouth in shock. "Holy…"

"What?" Zoro came forward to investigate. "What is..." His voice faded off into shock. He was speechless.

Ramoney, however, was not. She poked her head over his shoulder. "Two little girls! And they look just like Lera and Sarah! Wow, what a coincidence!"

Zoro gulped, "No, I think these two _are_ Lera and Sarah."

…

"Well, that's not good."

* * *

Have Lera and Sarah really turned into little girls? 

Well, yeah, they have, you already know that.

But what will happen now?

And who was Otis and his two henchmen!

Why does Lera never update?

Find out next time on… Sanji's Cupcakes!

* * *

Short chapter, for the sake of updateyness. Mwa ha. 

Natsuko, for those who were curious, means summer child. Which I found appropriate. Hehe.

Yes, this chapter was a bit slow, but you can't have everything be funny. I was planning on just having a ridiculously long chapter for this whole story, but decided to split it up instead.

Because that totally made sense.

Anyhoo, my uterus is coming over to tutor me, so I best get started on the next chapter nowish.

I had more to say, but now I forget. So here's review thanks. They're crap, it's late, I'm hurrying, please forgive me. Please keep reviewing, because I love you all!

Sarah. Review. Now. Poo. Rawr. DO IT FOR THE PANDAS AND GIRAFFES!

**RebelWriter** – I believe I corrected that mistake. I'm pretty sure I did. Hehe, Nate's lovely lady lumps. Yes, never again. I disturbed myself just writing that. We'll never forget you! Squeee!

**They.Call.Me.Smith – **Yay, you finally reviewed again! Ahh, Nsync! Yay!

**Rocks Won't Fly – **I'm glad to know that my reviews don't think Lera and Sarah aren't Mary-Sues, it's very encouraging, thank you! I hate Mary-Sues too. So I'm glad that at least my fic is an exception. I try. And I'll remember the Red Bull.

**CapT.BlacK – **Thank you for at least still reading and reviewing. I'm sorry that I cut you out of the story, but it was necessary. No offense, but your character had gotten a bit useless. And… you were just getting ridiculous. And please don't yell at Kyle. And I'd rather not marry you, thanks. xD And thanks for reviewing… like… a million times. I finally updated, I hope you're happy.

"Let it beeee…. Let it beee…. Let it beee…."

**Sandy - **I heart you too! I will GLADLY keep rocking your sporks! I'll keep a watch on those tacos.

**Kugatsu Kuro Kyohaku Bara – **A new reviewer! Yaayyyy! Please restrain your gnome army for me… 'cause… then I won't be able to update. I'll update even less than I do know, because I'm horrible.


	19. KFC

What's this? An update and two months haven't passed yet?

Told ya I'd start updating sooner, bishes. MWA HAHA.

So has anyone been keeping up with the latest One Piece episodes? 266? Man, that was awesome. And how about that new theme song? "Brand New World" owns my soul. As does "Sayaendo", which is the song from the 7th movie. Flippin' sweet. One Piece music is probably my favorite anime music… even above Escaflowne music. Which is saying something. Ah, but I ramble.

Anyway. A lot of you were confused on that last chapter. This'll explain oodles. Trust me.

Oodles and oodles of noodles.

ANYway… I have nothing else to say. MOVING ON!

* * *

Sanji's Cupcakes 

Chapter 16 – "Killing Fudgy Cooks"

* * *

Last time on Sanji's Cupcakes… 

Our heroes, Lera and Sarah, got turned into flippin' BABIES!

Wtf, mate?

And who is this mystteeeerioussss Otis?

I suppose we'll find out now, shall we?

* * *

"Ok, Ramoney, tell us what happened. Now." Nami the Navigator turned to face the girl, looking furious. 

Ramoney, in response, threw up her hands in despair. "I don't know what happened! Really! Balog-na's honor!"

"Something must have happened, seeing as Lera and Sarah are BABIES!"

"Oh claquer, yo!"

Sanji and Zoro, meanwhile, were kneeling down before the toddlers. The love-cook was grinning. "Is that really Sarah-swan? She's adorable!"

The girl in question was sitting in a shirt too big for her with the older Sarah's knee-socks acting almost like pants. She grinned, giggling and shaking her arms about, making it look like she was wrapped in a blanket. Besides her obvious age difference, Sarah still had the same shoulder-length brown hair, which was tied back in a messy ponytail, and the familiar blue-green irises. The only problem here… was that she was two.

Sarah's giggling awoke Ler-hah, who had been napping in the pile of jeans, gray shirt, and light green skirt nearby. She sat up, the shirt she was wearing acting like a dress. With a soft yawn, Lera blinked her huge brown-green eyes at the giggling Sarah. Ler-hah's hair was longer, less curly, and tied back in two thick braids.

Very surprised at the change in their two crew members, Zoro and Sanji watched as Lera and Sarah simultaneously looked up at the guys, then proceeded to squeal and launch themselves at the guys' legs.

Late for the main action, Luffy finally arrived at the clearing, looking confused. "Hey, guys! What's going on, I saw this huge flash and…"

He stopped dead, seeing the pair of little girls clinging to Zoro and Sanji's legs. "You found babies in the woods? What're their names?"

Nami did not look amused. "Lera and Sarah."

Unfortunately, Luffy didn't get the message. "Cool! Just like _our_ Lera and Sarah! By the way…" He looked around. "Where are they?"

"You're looking at them." Zoro replied, staring down at the girl that had attached herself to him.

Luffy looked skeptical, for obvious reasons. "But those are _babies_! Lera and Sarah aren't babies!"

"WELL, THEY ARE NOW, LUFFY!" Nami screamed, getting more and more irritated by the second.

Sarah and Lera, in response, giggled softly, detaching themselves from the cook and the swordsman to go run around. No one paid attention, as the focus had turned to Ramoney, who was looking more and more confused as Nami pressed her for questions, the rest listening.

"Well… we were just running through the woods when we came here. There were three guys here, and one of them was named… OTIS!" Ramoney's tempo sped up as she more excited by her own story. "And he made Lera and Sarah look at this orby ball of lightness. Then there was this…"

She suddenly spread her arms wide, her eyes practically bulging out of her head. "…HUGE, like, burst of light. I got thrown into a flippin' tree and next thing I know, Lera and Sarah were babies! It's not my fault!"

The expressions on the Mugiwara pirates had turned serious. Well, except for Luffy.

No one noticed as Lera and Sarah ran through the clearing, back into the forest.

Nami spoke first. "What did this Otis and the two others look like?"

"They looked ordinary… except I only saw Otis's face. All three were in cloaks." replied Ramoney. "But it's stupid! Who wants to turn two people into _babies_?

The rest, however, weren't listening.

"Ok, fine…" Ramoney mumbled, going to looking around the clearing curiously. As she gazed, she saw the young Lera and Sarah emerge from one side of the forest… riding brightly colored blue and green chickens.

Ramoney Baloney could only stare as the girls, squealing and giggling, rode past. The Straw Hat Crew didn't notice.

"We're gonna have to go back to the ship and take care of Lera and Sarah…" Nami said thoughtfully, putting a finger to her chin.

"But I wanna go find this Otis!" Luffy protested.

Sanji shook his head. "Lera-chan and Sarah-san can't stay here, it's dangerous."

Zoro stayed silent. Typical Zoro.

Behind them, the two-year olds were running back across the clearing. Lera was floating along with her chicken, while Sarah was laughing at her. Then they went back into the forest. Ramoney could only blink. "Hey guys…"

No one heard her. "Looking after babies isn't fun! Make Sanji do it." said Luffy, pointing at the cook.

"Why you…"

Nami interrupted him. "We'll all go back together and Sanji and Zoro will take care of them."

Zoro glared at her. "What? Why me?"

"Because I know how well you two can do the job! Especially Sanji-kun!" She smiled sweetly at Sanji. He grinned brightly, his eye popping into a heart.

"Anything for you, Nami-swan!"

They didn't see how behind them, Sarah and Lera were now being chased around by an army of technicolor chickens. Ramoney tried to point that out. "Guys…?"

"Shitty cook, why don't you do the damn babysitting yourself?" Zoro growled. He wasn't especially fond of children.

"Because Lera and Sarah are our nakama, and because Nami said so, marimo head!"

"Curly-eyebrow!"

"Shithead!

"Pansy!"

"Cactus Head!"

"WANNA FIGHT?"

Meanwhile, Sarah and Lera and confronted the chickens. With a happy grin, Sarah raised her arms, firing out a huge bolt of lightning and instantly making KFC out of those poopaw chickens.

"Guys!" Ramoney screamed, pointing at something behind them. For once, Nami wasn't the one to have to put a halt to Zoro's and Sanji's fight and both guys stopped.

"What?" Everyone turned around, confused.

Lera and Sarah now sat, giggling, in front of a huge pile of burnt chickens.

"Yay! Chickens!" Luffy exclaimed, running forward. "Sanji, can we eat these?"

There was a collective sigh as Ramoney and Nami went to scoop up the two kids. Nami shoved Lera into Zoro's arms and began leading the way back to the ship.

Zoro could only scowl as the two-year old Lera smiled cutely up at him, and then promptly fell asleep, curling up. The scowl flickered into a smirk. Maybe he could get the hang of this.

* * *

The crew promptly backtracked back to the Going Merry, where Sarah and Lera were properly introduced to Usopp. Sarah had grabbed Usopp's nose, pulling hard on it, while Lera simply had whacked him upside the head with her small, clenched fists. 

Usopp decided to leave the two alone.

"So what now?" Ramoney asked Nami. The two girls were playing with Luffy at the moment on the deck in the bright, summer weather. The Captain was throwing each girl high up into the air, easily catching them as they fell back towards the ground. All three were laughing.

"I guess we'll put them to bed, leave someone here with them, then everyone else will go look for this... Otis…" The navigator looked around. "Sanji! Zoro! Your turn to look after them!"

"Huh?" Zoro had already managed to get to sleep.

Sanji poked his head out of the kitchen. "Already? We just fed them…"

"Just put them to bed or something." Ramoney suggested. "They're only two, they're going to get tired quickly."

The concept of putting a girl to bed made Sanji giggle as he came forward to take Sarah from Luffy.

Sarah hugged him as best she could with her small arms. A very cute moment. "Peanut butter!"

As they had found out, Sarah couldn't speak all that well yet. Lera could form full sentences. Full sentences of nonsese, but sentences nonetheless.

Zoro picked up Lera, who wiggled her arms about and smiled. "Zoro like poopaw pineapples!"

He raised an eyebrow. "… right."

In silence, the two guys went down to the girls' quarters, where a bed had been set up for the pair of toddlers.

Sanji lovingly set Sarah down on the bed, covering her with a blanket. "There, now, Sarah-san, you get your sleep now…"

"Peanut Butter!"

Zoro mimicked the cook, tucking Lera into bed. She fell asleep almost immediately. Sarah waved goodbye to the guys as they, relieved, went back up on deck.

Lera sat up, having mimicked sleep. The little girls exchanged evil grins. They were going to have some fun now.

"YOSH!"

* * *

Meanwhile, somewhere in another anime dimension who knows where…. 

"Ben-ho, where the _hell _are we?" Tracey, the former medical witch of Totoro Island, looked around, looking mildly horrified.

Ben-Ho Ross, Captain of the DoomDOOMDoom, blinked in bewilderment. "I think I took a wrong turn somewhere."

"That's a given." Tracey replied sourly, rolling her eyes.

Kyle, former bodyguard of Queen Emily-ly, came up on deck. "Tracey, why'd we stop…. Oh." Whatever he had been going to say died in his throat.

"Yeah."

They were in the middle of a forest. Not even in a river, a pond, lake, _anything_. Forest. And ships can't sail in forests.

Standing in front of them were three kids, two guys and a girl. The girl had pink hair. One of the guys had whiskers… and bright yellow hair. The other was rather emo.

"What the HELL?" Ben-ho screamed, recognizing the anime. "Anywhere but this!"

The yellow-haired haired kid stepped forward. "Who're you? I'm Naruto Uzumaki! If you're here to fight, I'll beat you in FIVE seconds! You don't stand a chance against me! BELIEVE IT!"

"MY BRAIN IS MELTING!" Kyle cried out in agony, running back below deck.

Twitching violently, Ben-ho yelled something incoherent. "We're leaving!"

Tracey could only blink. "Why is her hair _pink_?"

* * *

What kind of destruction are Lera and Sarah planning on unleashing on the Going Merry? 

Why haven't we found out about Otis yet?

If a tree fell down in a forest, would anyone hear it?

Will Ben-ho, Tracey, and Kyle ever escape Naruto land?

Find out next time on… Sanji's Cupcakes!

Yeah. I got lazy. Shut up. This chapter sucks. I couldn't even read through it, it was painful.

Another unfunny chapter for you all. Deal with it. Next chapter'll be better. Next chapter I'll actually explain something. So hah.

School ends tomorrow. This means a crap load more updating. So yay.

Otherwise, that is all I have to say.

I need to make a couch for my Tito. He is a fat Hawaiian man and he is my Tito.

REVIEWS!

**Ramona!** – Ok, I have absolutely no idea what to say to you. xD

**Sar-hah** – Do they even have an oven? Oh yes. They do. Hah. They don't have a Tito, though.

**Dazze – **Thank youuuu! Glad you like it! And thanks for the review!

**cloudaisha10 – **I'm trying to keep up the good work. We'll let you be the judge of that :P

**CapT.BlacK – **How about I get rid of those strange feelings for you? I really am mocking you. How's that? Better? And uh… why won't I accept your love? Is this a rhetorical question?

**Pirates.R.Kewl – **Ahh! I broke your face! I'm sorry! YOSH!

**They.Call.Me.Smith – **Here, take your butt back xD SHA NANANANANANANANANANANA! Yeah. Magenta nails. Gotta remember that.

**Marshy Kyle – **Yup, Kyle, you guess it. Otis wants to eat us. And I'm sorry about your blood pressure.

**RebelWriter – **Nope, no pairings. I've learned my lesson on that. And don't you just love my skill of transitions? XD


	20. Tea Party!

Um… update! Yes! Noodles! Yoh!

I dunno what I'm talking about, but One Piece is still pretty spiffy.

Oh, and Happy Birthday to our favorite Tracey-hah. Her birthday was the 20th, so it's a little late, but… gimme time. (Your filler chapter's coming, don't worry)

Otherwise… nothing else to say. As usual. Just another update.

* * *

Sanji's Cupcakes 

Chapter 17 – "Tea Party!"

* * *

Last time on Sanji's Cupcakes… 

Sar-hah made some KFC out of chickens!

Sanji got called a peanut butter!

Other stuff!

What will happen in this chapter?

The suspense is killing me.

* * *

Nami has been planning on exploring Natsuko Island promptly after the two girls had been put to sleep. 

That had been 4 hours ago.

She and the rest of the crew were going insane. The Going Merry had been turned into a circus with Lera and Sarah running around like escaped monkeys. Usopp had nearly been reduced to tears. Ramoney had gone missing, and Luffy was having a tantrum, because Hat had disappeared, too.

Nami had decided to send Sanji and Zoro after the 2-year olds, assigning herself to look for Ramoney. So far, no one had been found. Nami was even angrier, since she had lent some old clothes of hers to dress the girls with, since their old outfits didn't fit anymore.

With a sigh, the navigator peered out the window of the lounge to see how everyone else was doing.

Their captain was storming about, knocking over crates, peering in-between floorboards, looking inside Usopp's hair, etc, as he searched for his precious namesake. "HAT! WHERE'S HAT?"

Usopp, on the other hand, was trying to hide in the crates, the floorboards, his hair, etc. He was sobbing and rubbing his injured and crooked nose as he did so. Apparently, the girls had called him a "bad name" and then had tried to tie his nose in a knot. Needless to say, it hadn't worked.

Those two were the only ones on deck. Zoro and Sanji were attempting to work together to find Lera and Sarah below. It seemed that the little girls were practically invisible, only leaving a trail of destruction wherever they went.

"Hold on, shitty cook." Zoro paused in the doorway of the storage room. "What's the one place we haven't checked yet?"

Sanji let out a stream of cigarette smoke. He was not in the best of moods. His kitchen was a mess. Sar-hah has somehow found the peanut butter and smeared a lopsided heart and the words "Peenut Buter" on the wall. What was even more irritating was the fact that Zoro had unknowingly managed to escape unscathed. It was Sanji that was made to clean up even more of the kitchen. Underneath the "Peenut Buter," written more neatly was a message from Lera.

"Zoro iz my pinaple."

Although, Sanji had to admit, anyone calling the stupid swordsman "their pineapple" was rather amusing.

"We've checked every room on this ship…" He finally replied, his curly eyebrow twitching.

Zoro looked down the hall. "Not every room."

"What haven't we checked?" The blonde impatiently followed Zoro's gaze.

"Our room."

"…Oh."

It was a mystery as to how exactly the two guys had missed checking their own room, but miss it they did. Those poopaws.

Exchanging looks, Sanji and Zoro went down to the men's quarters. As they stood outside, faint music could be heard from within, along with giggles.

Grim, Zoro pulled open the door. Sanji was about to follow him inside, but didn't make it far. They remained frozen in the doorway, instead.

Music was blaring from what Zoro remembered was Lera's "cd player"... whatever that was. Two boxes were plugged into it, and it was from those that the music was coming from. "Super Duper Man" by Toybox, in fact.

**"Superman is on the air.  
I'm flying in my super red underwear.  
His sexy dress is turning me on.  
I feel kinda hot when I'm puttin' it on." **

Disturbed by the words, the guys looked around the room instead. The entire area was a huge mess and the guys' closet was torn open. Zoro's and Sanji's clothes were more prominently tossed about than Luffy's or Usopp's. For a moment, it seemed that the troublemakers weren't there, but then they giggled again, revealing their locations.

**"He has got sexy x-ray eyes.  
****And his legs are really nice.  
****Oochie, coochie in the sky.  
****And I'm kissing for the very first time." **

Sarah was on the floor by the mast, only her head visible. She was wearing one of Sanji's suits, his tie wrapped around her neck tightly. Having re-discovered her Devil Fruit power ability, Sar-hah was busy poking her tongue with a curious look. Each time, she sent a static shock through her tongue, blinked in surprise, giggled, and then repeated the process.

**"'Cause…  
****Super-super-man, super-duper-man.  
****Flying in to see me from Superland.  
****Come on Superman, super-duper-man.  
****Take me for a joyride, 'cause I know you can.  
****(Super-man-man, super-man-man)" **

In addition, Lera was floating near the ceiling and turning over and over in different directions. Forward, backwards, sideways. She resembled… well, nothing in particular, except for a girl floating about in the air.

Just like Sar-hah, Lera had stolen clothes. Zoro's green haramaki was wrapped twice around her body, with her arms sticking out of the green cloth almost comically.

**"I can see my house from here.  
****Yeah, let's party hardy over there." **

Zoro sighed. "Might as well get them out of here…"

"Yeah."

While Zoro went to retrieve Lera, Sanji decided to turn off the creepy music. Kneeling down by the music player, he fiddled with some of the buttons. Rather than turning the song off, he just made it louder.

**"Can I touch your tingeling?  
****You make superman go super swing!" **

Screaming in horror and not knowing how to turn off the cd player, he did the next best thing. Raising a foot, he frantically smashed it into the player. "Super Duper Man" crunched to a painful stop and a peaceful silence settled over the quarters.

Lera and Sarah, gasping, simultaneously looked up at Sanji, Sarah from the floor, Lera from the ceiling, since Zoro hadn't gotten to her yet.

Sanji only blinked, inspecting his foot to see that his shoe was fine.

Sarah, sniffling, scooted forward, and Lera, floating down to the floor, sat next to her. They looked their cute little eyes at the guys, then their faces began to scrunch up.

Stepping back, alarmed, Zoro glared at Sanji. "What'd you do?"

"I didn't do anything but turn the music off!" Sanji snapped back, backing away with Zoro.

It was like waiting for a bomb to explode. Almost in slow-motion, Sarah and Lera's face wrinkled up. And then… they _exploded. _

"WAHHHH!"

Tears streaming down their tears, the girls began wailing and screaming, with an added bonus of Sarah shooting out sparks every so often.

"Tch!" Zoro twitched visibly, stumbling out of the room. Sanji, on the other hand, lost his cigarette as it fell from his open mouth. He had never had to deal with such stubborn kids before.

Then again, being a cook never had "good with kids" in the resume either. There was no way he could handle something like this.

Throwing logic to the wind, Sanji decided to give it a try anyway. Kneeling down before the sobbing Sarah, he gently pulled the toddler into his arms. "There, there, Sarah-san…"

In response, Sar-hah continued to stubbornly wail away. Lera raised her arms to be picked up as well, her face pink and wet with tears.

After a few minutes, the crying died down to sniffling, then silence. Cautiously, Zoro poked his head in to see Sanji smirking at him from where he was sitting on one of the couches in the room. Lera was curled up next to him, asleep, and Sarah was dozing in his arms, looking as adorable as ever.

"You… what'd you do?" Zoro whispered, surprised but grateful.

"I'm good with kids, moron." Sanji said softly, looking triumphant. That was one up on Zoro.

Sanji's a motherly figure! AH HAHA!

Holding back from hitting the cook, Zoro frowned and walked forward to scoop Lera up into his arms. "Let's go put them to bed."

A huge weight of tension was lifted once Sarah and Lera were safely tucked into a hammock in the girl's quarters and the doors were locked. Usopp set off to clean up the destruction, while Sanji went to scrub peanut butter off his kitchen wall. Hat was found stuffed into the toilet, so Luffy was happy, and Zoro went off to take a much-needed nap.

The crew was safe to go after Otis and find Ramoney now. Nami decided to take Luffy with her and together, the two of them set off back into the Forest of Natsuko Island.

* * *

Little did anyone know was that Ramoney Baloney had already beaten them all to it. 

Amidst the confusion aboard the Going Merry, the Balog-na girl had seized her chance to sneak off and find Otis and make him change her two friends back to their old selves.

So far, she hadn't made much progress. Seated across from Otis and his two henchmen, she casually sipped tea.

"This TEA PARTY is quite disastrous." She drawled in a British accent. "Where are the crrrrumpets? And the cheese and crackers?"

Otis blinked. "… what?"

Otis, who turned out to be the leader of Natsuko Island, barely remembered Ramoney from their previous meeting. He didn't even know where she had come from. One minute, he was sitting and eating lunch when the girl had flown in on what looked like motorized pants. She had proceeded to sit down, order tea, and eat his lunch. Right off of his plate. Then she ate the flowers that had been sitting in a vase in the center of the table.

His two henchmen had taken off their cloaks and now Ramoney could get a good look at them.

The one to the right of Otis had spiked auburn hair, the tips frosted. That was really the only notable thing about him. The one to the left had a cupcake for a head.

For anyone who was wondering, he was vanilla flavored.

"Why are you here?" Otis said, frowning.

"I'm here to get you to turn Lera and Sarah back into their old selves, that's what!" Her cheery demeanor evaporating, Ramoney stormed over to Otis. His henchmen glowered at her.

"I mean, what the crap?" She continued, standing before all three and going off into a rant. "What the hell was that? WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?"

In rage, her parachute pants inflated and Ramoney began to float up into the air. "Turning my two friends into little BABIES! Who does that? That's so STUPID! WHAT THE HELL?"

Otis appeared a bit startled. "Look, I was just following orders, alright? These guys came here and threatened to kill Nomac and Cupcake if I didn't do what they told me. Then they said they would kill my 'lings, too…" His voice trailed off at Ramoney's angry stare.

"WHO'RE NOMAC AND CUPCAKE?"

The frosty tipped guy nodded. Otis pointed to him. "That's Nomac. And that's Cupcake."

Cupcake face frowned, frosting dripping down from his head to show his displeasure.

Ramoney was not satisfied, but she returned back to the floor, at least. "Who told you to turn Lera and Sarah into babies?"

"I don't know." Otis shrugged. "They were wearing cloaks. I think there were three or four of them. They said turning them into babies would get them to go back to their own time."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"How should I know?"

"ARGH!" Flusters, Ramoney deflated, both literally and verbally, and popped in the last flower from the vase into her mouth. Chewing slowly, she looked around the dining room for the first time. "Nice place you've get here."

"Er… yeah…." Otis raised an eyebrow, not understanding where she was going was this. As Nomac was about to point something out, a shrill bell rang out of Cupcake's head.

Otis suddenly grinned crazily. "Intruders! Sweet!"

Somewhere, far below on the streets of Natsuko City, yelling and shooting had started up. Luckily, there was a window in the dining room. Ramoney ran to it, poking her head out. She wasn't surprised by what she saw.

"LUFFY, GET BACK HERE!"

"FOOD!"

Luffy was running down the street towards a food vendor with Nami on his heels. That would have been fine, if not for the typical gang of guards giving chase after them.

Without sparing Otis another look, Ramoney inflated her parachute pants once more and dove out of the window. "Totoroooooo!"

* * *

Will Luffy ever get his food? 

Will Lera and Sarah get a good nap?

Will Ramoney go splat on the ground?

Who cut holes in my spoon?

Find out next time… on Sanji's Cupcakes!

* * *

I'm oddly pleased with this chapter. I got a lot of things done, didn't I? 

And it was funny, right? RIGHT?

So review. I only got 3 last chapter… -scowl-

Pirate flakes are more than good, they're garrrr-ate!

TITO AWAY!

**RebelWriter – **I'll get to Otis being a vampire in the next chapter, but there's Nomac for ya! Your Naruto adventure will be in your filler, okies? YOSH.

**CapT.BlacK **– "Come on Superman, super-duper-man. Take me for a joyride, 'cause I know you can." I killed the Lunchables Brigade because I love meat. Yes, we're getting to the plot.

**Kyle's "Freind" – **I love you too, dearie.Thanks for the review -grin-


	21. Filler Episode 4

I haven't felt like writing in a while. Now I've got a surge, but for the wrong fic.

Y'see, I'm planning on writing another one. Probably after Sanji's Cupcakes is over. Oh, I'll start writing it soon, but I most likely won't post it up, so I won't be pressed to update three fics at a time again. That was insane last time.

The next fic, though? More serious, so I won't be pressured if my chapters don't have any comedy. And it won't be based off anyone. I caaaan'ttttt wait. I should stick some yaoi in there, too. Usopp yaoi -nod-

So … all of my fans can be excited about that.

And that sentence would totally be accurate if I actually had fans.

Shut up. Maybe I will someday -.-

In any case. After kicking myself in the ass a couple of times, eating some Reese's peanut butter cups, and watching POTC Dead Man's Chest, I decided to write Tracey-hah's filler.

Very… very… happy belated birthday, Tracey-hah.

* * *

Sanji's Cupcakes

Filler Chapter #4 – "Internally Combusted Puppies"

* * *

"Tracey, I've got it!" Ben burst into the room dramatically.

Our favorite medical witch of all time, Tracey, didn't look up from where she had been writing in her notebook. "… got what?"

"A way to travel through animes!"

A long silence stretched between the two, Ben stuck in an excited position where his hands were raised up over his head. Tracey, at first, didn't react at all. In fact, it looked like she was ignoring her boyfriend completely when she suddenly shut up notebook with a snap.

"… right, Ben. And I've decided that males are superior to females." With a snort, the feminist looked up, smirking.

Ben, not yet known at Ben-ho Ross, Captain of the DoomDOOMDoom pirate ship, slumped dejectedly. "But Tracey…"

The two were handing out at Tracey's house on a regular summer afternoon in, you guessed it, a flashbacky real world setting. Reality. Aka, Earth… stuff.

"Well, in any case, happy birthday." Ben grinned, resplendent in a Weird Al Yankovic shirt and plain jeans. Without waiting for a response, he pulled the girl into a hug.

Tracey returned the hug, standing and thanking him cheerfully.

Both were seventeen, Tracey just having turned so.

"Anyway…" Ben, continuing the conversation, cleared his throat and ran a hand through his familiar, gravity-defying hair. "… I wasn't lying before, I've figured out how we can go to Yu Yu Hakusho and meet Hiei!"

He beamed, pleased with himself, and fully expecting Tracey to be jumping with joy any second now.

Ben was sorely disappointed. Tracey stared at him for a long moment, trying to choose the right words, then took a deep breath. "Ben…"

"You don't believe me, do you?"

"… no I don't."

"Well… well…. Fine then!"

It seemed like the conversation was over and Ben was going to go fume somewhere, when he thrust his hand out at Tracey. "Look at this!"

Tracey glanced over his arm, noticing the watch. It was new, she could tell, and colored bright red.

"It's a watch… albeit an ugly watch, but it's a watch. What about it?"

Ben stared at her in astonishment. How Tracey could not understand the important of his watch was flabbergastifying. "This is it!"

She still didn't get it. "What?"

"The anime-traveler… thing!" Ben waved the watch in Tracey's face for a bit in hopes of emphasizing his point.

Tracey raised an eyebrow in disbelief, then smiled. He had to be joking. Leaning forward, she kissed him on the forehead and sat back down, opening her notebook. "That's nice, honey."

Ben screamed in outrage, frantically waving his arms around in little circles. Ben was obviously frustrated. "But it's true! I made this watch myself and it _will_ send us through animes! First..."

He took a deep breath before launching into an explanation. "First, I compressed 20 gallons of Mountain Dew into a wrist-watched shaped container. Then I transmutated all the remaining carbon dioxide and removed the carbon from the dioxide and added an internally combusted puppy. After that, it was a piece of cake to simply liquefy the remaining components of the substances and, using Newton's fifth law, stab the stuff into little tiny pieces and paint red over it. That's how I made it!"

"Was the puppy hurt?"

Ben squirmed in discomfort. "It's science, Tracey, you wouldn't understand."

Tracey frowned, shutting the notebook once more. "Answer the question."

"… I plead the fifth."

"You killed it, didn't you?"

"Uh…." He looked off to the side, looking thoroughly uncomfortable.

Tracey's disapproving frown was all he needed.

"Alright, alright, I bought this watch at the dollar store, but I swear, it really works!"

Ben blinked, seeing an outstretched hand before him. Said hand happened to belong to Tracey.

"Gimme that."

"My watch?"

"Yes, that, gimme."

Poo. Well, there went the plan. With a pout, Ben handed over the watch.

Curious as to what Ben was making such a fuss over, Tracey looked the wristwatch over. At a closer glance, the item didn't appear to be a watch at all. Instead of telling time, a little screen stated "reality." Next to the screen were two arrow buttons, up or down. Another button, yellow, protruded out of the side.

Tracey experimentally pushed one of the buttons. The screen shifted up and now stated "Yu Yu Hakusho." Another press of the button switched the anime to Trigun, then to One Piece, then to Dragon Ball Z. It became apparent that the animes were not in alphabetical order.

Ben's hand snaked over her shoulder, pushing the second arrow button until the screen stated "Yu Yu Hakusho" again. "Now all we have to do is push that starter side button and we'll be in an anime!"

Still dubious, and for good reason, Tracey handed the anime-traveler back to her boyfriend and rose from her chair, taking her note pad with her. "You said you bought it in a dollar store?"

"Well, I wouldn't say 'bought'… they actually gave it to me."

"They _gave_ it to you?" Tracey repeated in disbelief, amazed at Ben's ongoing, ridiculous story.

"Yeah, some lady." Ben shrugged, not understanding why the girl before him was staring at him.

"Whatever." She turned to leave.

Tracey, who had been hoping for a calm summer afternoon, found herself irked. It was her birthday, for Pete's sake, and here was Ben, blabbering on about a silly "anime traveler" and insisting that it actually worked.

Desolately, Ben looked down at the wristwatch and the name he had carved onto it: Ani-watch. That was before he stuck it into his mouth, trying it out.

"Tastes like plastic." He muttered through the strap, giving the taste another go as Tracey turned back around at his words.

The strap of the Ani-watch wrapped around his tongue somehow, muffling his speech. "Shtill plashtic."

Turning it over in his mouth, not finding watch-tasting in the least bit strange, Ben's teeth scraped along the edge of the device and, while going for another chew, closed around the starter button.

"Oh shi-" He managed, seeing Tracey scream and her eyes widen. He didn't manage, however, to finish his curse. A bright green glow exploded from his mouth, enveloping both himself and Tracey.

You have to feel bad for the girl. The last scene she witnessed in the real world was her boyfriend starting to glow from the mouth before exploding.

Through Ben's attempt to eat his Ani-watch, thus began Tracey and Ben-ho's adventures in the world of anime.

* * *

"Ben-ho, are you sure this is Cowboy Bebop?" Kyle asked dully.

"Of course it's not, does it _look _like Bebop?" The former pirate captain snapped, looking most displeased.

Tracey could only blink, at a loss for words.

The infamous Naruto, Sasuke, and Sakura stared up at them amidst the leafy forest of some ninja place or another in the pretty, colorful, fascinating, foresty… ninja-y world of Naruto.

"I think we took a wrong turn somewhere, Ben." Tracey finally said.

"I think so too."

"WELL?" Naruto Uzumaki, Mr. BAKA, glowered up at Ben-ho. "I challenge you!"

Sakura sweat dropped whilst Sasuke remained all emo-y and shmexy, like Sasuke is. Ben-ho didn't pay attention to the two others but chuckled in amusement at Naruto's two shuriken.

"Is that all you've got?"

Naruto blinked for a moment at Ben-ho's cockiness. The black-haired captain was smirking down at him with his arms folded across his chest. The blonde quickly recovered. "Enough for me to beat you!"

"We'll just see about that," To everyone's shock, Ben-ho suddenly pulled out a huge bastard sword from, seemingly, nowhere. As if you need a specific place from where you can pull out weapons… psh.

"RAAAAAAAAAAAAUGGGHHHH!"

Jumping nimbly from the ship, Ben-ho gave chase to Naruto, waving his sword around wildly and screaming like a banshee. But a manly banshee. Like ones that make ramen.

MEN!

Tracey and Kyle followed Ben-ho's progress as he ran Naruto in circles around the marooned DoomDOOMDoom.

"Wonder if he'll get tired soon." Kyle remarked, blinked down at Sasuke momentarily before looking back at the chase scene.

Tracey shrugged, fishing around in her jean pockets. "Doubt it."

Watching curiously, Kyle saw the medical witch tug out a bright red wristwatch and fiddle with some of the buttons.

"Where do you feel like going, Kyle?"

"Huh?"

"How about Super GALS?"

"What's that?"

Grinning, Tracey pressed a side button on the watch. "You'll love it."

A huge burst of light filled Ninja Forest. Ben-ho was inches away from slashing off Naruto's head off. Unfortunately, the Ani-watch whisked the captain away in the nick of time and Naruto kept his head.

We'll get you next time, Naruto. We'll get youuuuu.

* * *

There ya go. A short little filler for Tracey.

If you all don't know what Super GALS is… you should go see.

Otherwise… next chapter will be back to schedule.

**Kyle- **Thank you, ho. KRAKKEN! WITH TWO K'S!

**Kugatsu Kuro Kyohaku Bara- **Ahh, my Naruto filler failed me. But don't worry. Lera and Sarah shall pay a visit themselves in the sequel and it will be the awesome.

**Sar-hah**- I didn't even need to research, huh? It was too short. I didn't feel like keeping them there a long time, anyway. … or did I?

**Tracey-** I gotta remember the whole Otis being a vampire thing. I sweat, I'll forget. HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY AGAIN!

**CapT.BlacK- **You reviewed twice… dare I ask why? Anyway, I think you set fire to Hamtaro. Happy Birthday. Oh, and… call me Valerah one more time and I'm sticking you into a Barbie anime -.-

**Ramoney**- … only you would listen to the smiling flowers…. Please don't call me dearie o.o

**Mediocre King- **… well, that's just too bad, now, isn't it?


	22. FNF

….

Yeah. Lotsa lotsa months with no update? Wow. But Otakon was loads of fun. Even though it was ages ago by now.

This story was supposed to be done around September, October. I still need to finish the whole Otis thing. And another island, then the last one. That's a little less than 10 chapters. Not to mention I need to write up a filler for Marshy Kyle.

I'm a horrible writer and I deserve to be shot.

Plus, I forgot Zoro's birthday on November 11th -sob-

* * *

Sanji's Cupcakes

Chapter 18 – "Fairy Ninja Fruitcakes"

* * *

Last time on Sanji's Cupcakes…

Zoro and Sanji had to deal with Lera and Sarah! Babies and motherly figures, oh no!

Ramoney had a nice little tea party with Otis and his goons!

What will happen now?

Too bad, you won't find out!

* * *

It was Nate's birthday. The whole Gangster Crew sat around a table laden with cake. It was quite a nice cake, y'know.

Only Nate's dead and pirates don't eat cake, so let's get on with it, shall we?

The Gangster Crew was, in fact, lost at sea. Opium had eaten all of the maps and Captain Joshu Wa Gorgy has no sense of direction.

It wasn't until they sailed into a storm that they realized what exactly was happening to the poor _The Crow 2 Yo, Bish. _They had hopelessly gone astray and were about to lose their ship in the process.

Sloshing about in his yellow swashbuckler boots, Gorgy had lost his rabbit suit when a part of the mast crashed into him, ripping off his suit in the process. At first, he had been more than happy, but then the storm had gotten worse and nearly knocked him overboard with the suit. There was at least half a foot of water pouring through the deck of the ship and the sheet-like rain wasn't helping any.

Burying his Icky Stick into the deck, the Captain flicked his sopping wet blue hair out of his face and grabbed a frantic Marshy Kyle, who was sprinting past with multiple fish and bits of wood stuck to his marshmallow suit.

"YOU! Get those sails tied and find my Irish punk cd's, alright?!"

"Yessir, Joshu, sir!" Kyle mockingly saluted and hurried off to do what he had been ordered to.

Emily-ly and Opium were armed with buckets, frantically bailing water, while Mike and Larissa were below deck, plugging up holes. They were actually screaming in panic and shoving anything they could grab into the rapidly appearing holes. Including Nate. If he wasn't dead.

Gorgy stood up on the deck, looking out at the swirling storm. The waves were over 40 feet high. Huge, towering, and destructive. So far, his ship had managed to avoid destruction, but it wouldn't last long. The sky above was black with swarming clouds and the rain was coming down in buckets. His poor vessel was being tossed this way and that, crashing through waves and enduring the rain while thunder and lightning crashed all around.

A wide grin spread upon the Captain's face. The weather was perfect.

Behind him, Marshmallow Kyle scurried this way and that, bundling the sails up and chasing after random cd cases that were being swept away by the sea. That was about the time when Joshu spotted something coming closer, riding the storm through as easily as if the weather was clear. Narrowing his eyes, Gorgy struggled to discern whatever the crap was coming closer. Then he saw it.

"Oh, shit." He blinked, wiping rain from his eyes and squinting again just to make sure. He would know that ship anywhere.

"KYLE! GET BACK HERE AND BRING ME MY FURBY! IT'S AN EMERGENCY!"

* * *

Natsuko City, the center of Natsuko Island, was in utter chaos. Soldiers stormed through the streets after Luffy, Nami, and Ramoney. Luffy was trailing meat everywhere because of the immense pile that he was carting about in his arms, while Nami sprinted after him, screaming and beating him upside the head with her staff.

Ramoney, on the other hand, was soaring above them, sending gasoline smoke through the air while performing unintentional flips and turns in the air as she after the two Strawhats.

Another typical day for the Mugiwara crew.

The trio passed street after street, hardly even noticing that the main population consisted of soldiers. Nor did they notice that the growing party of Otis' henchmen was catching up. It was only when Ramona's gas tank for her parachute pants ran empty that anything new happened at all.

With a squeak, her huge orange pants had deflated, sending her straight into Luffy and Nami. Together, they all toppled over. It was the end for our heroes. They were _so_ dead. Dead dead. BEYOND dead.

The soldiers advanced slowly, preparing their weapons for the final stabbages to the three pirates.

…

Change scene!

* * *

"WHAT?! WHAT IS IT?!" Marshy Kyle screamed over the storm, standing next to Captain Gorgy.

In silence, Gorgy merely pointed out at the approaching ship.

"HOLY SHIT!" Kyle took one look at it before passing clean out.

The SOAP ship was coming. Or, really, the SOAS was coming.

Snakes. On a ship. On a plane. On your face. In my socks. In your pants. In the dinner. In the jar of mayo. In … your douche-twinkie.

They only had minutes before the SOAP ship would collide with _The Crow 2, Yo, Bish_ and Gorgy didn't have a plan. Larissa and Mike were still below-deck, screaming, and Emily and her koama counterpart had given up bailing water. Instead, they had resorted to running frantically about in circles, occasionally stepping on Marshy Kyle's squishy body.

Captain Joshu's yellow swashbuckler boots were slowly filling up with ocean and rain water, and a few fish had already began living in said boots, and the Gorgypoo could already see the case of Irish punk cd's floating off of the ship into the dark sea below.

Surely, it was time to bring the smack-down.

IT WAS ON!

* * *

Ramoney, Luffy, and Nami were, in fact, not dead. They stood now before Otis, Ruler of Natsuko Island, in his large and rather fancy throne room. Cupcake was dripping icing onto the floor to the right of him, while Nomac stood on the left, very busily reading a manga that looked mysteriously like "Absolute Boyfriend."

"So… why're you three here? And not you." Otis frowned at them, pointing at Ramoney and not allowing her to speak.

Nami roughly shoved Luffy to the side and spoke for the group. "You see, sir, it seems that you turned our two friends into babies. And we want them back to their original ages."

"… I don't know what you're talking about.'

Ramoney flared up. "YES YOU DO!"

Casting the orange-parachute-pants-wearing girl a frightened look, he decided not to infer her wrath a second time. "Ok, maybe I do."

"THEN TURN THEM BACK!" Luffy demanded angrily.

"Look, I already told your friend, I didn't do it 'cause I wanted to. These guys came here and told me to. They blackmailed me, y'know! Said Cupcake would be eaten if I didn't do what they wanted!" Otis gestured at Cupcake frantically.

"Who? Do you know who they were?" The navigator shoved Luffy backwards again.

"Yeah, I think I do…" Otis spoke now in a hushed voice. "They're called the FNF."

Luffy began to interrupt again. "What're the F-"

Ramoney spoke up instantly. "Fierce Ninja Force."

Otis nodded at the girl. "Yeah, them. Anyone who gets in their way disappears, I heard… so anyway, I think it was them. And they seemed really interested in your two friends, so they told me to think of an original, really hard to do curse on them. So that's what I did. That was a really hard spell to do, too." He added, swelling with pride.

"… fierce ninja force, huh?" Nami raised an eyebrow. "Well, why are they after Lera and Sarah?"

"Hell if I know."

"Ok, fine. Then how about this, you-LUFFY, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?"

Luffy, with an angry yell, had bounded forward, grabbing Otis by the front of his shirt. "Turn them back! Turn them back now!"

Otis could only scream in horror, flailing his arms around and hoping that Nomac or Cupcake would help, but they appeared to be busy themselves. Ramoney was holding Cupcake's head tightly in her teeth, and appeared to be enjoying herself, while Nomac faced a smirking Nami and her Clima Tact.

"I can't! They have to drink a potion first!" Otis yelled in desperation, Luffy's angry eyes glaring holes into his face.

"A potion?" The three Straw Hats paused, looking confused.

"Yeah, they just have to drink it and they'll go back to normal. But I heard they were Devil Fruit users, so I don't know if it'll work!" His eyes were bulging out of his head now in fear.

Nami pushed Nomac away from her. "Guess we'll just take that chance. Where is it?"

"N-Nomac has it…" His hands were shaking as he pointed at his lackey. Nomac, somewhat reluctantly, tugged out a medium-sized bottle from his jean pocket, holding out to Nami.

"Thanks." With a grin, Nami snatched the potion. "Let Otis go, Luffy, we're leaving."

Otis was dropped unceremoniously back onto his throne, Cupcake's head was spit out, and Nomac could only scowl as Nami, Luffy, and Ramoney turned to leave. However, Otis wasn't done.

"Wait! Don't forget, if you want to go after the FNF, they're an island over. You have to stay here one more hour for your log post to change."

"Thanks again." Nami waved cheerfully over her shoulder, and then the trio was gone, heading back to the Going Merry.

* * *

"How long do you think we're supposed to play with them?" Zoro muttered, his brows knitted together in irritation at the 2 year-old pestilence that was perched on his head, giggling and playing with his hair.

Sarah, on the other hand, was sitting happily by Sanji, doodling on a spare piece of paper. The blonde shrugged, watching the infant beside him. "Until Nami-san gets back with Ramoney and Luffy."

"Grr-ow." Zoro halted in mid-growl to wince in pain as Lera pulled at some of his hair.

Lera beamed in pleasure, mimicking him. "Grrow! Grrow! Pineapple go grrow!"

With a squeal, Sarah was happy to join in with her friend and the two began chanting in their cute little voices.

Sanji and Zoro exchanged grim looks. This was going to take a lot of patience.

* * *

So there ya go. Hardly worth reading, that, but I needed to get it somewhere, didn't I? Sue me.

No review thanks this time, either. I have no idea who revied what and where, and I'm too lazy to check.


	23. Filler Episode 5

Ba haha.

Regular story'll start up soon. Plus, Kyle-hah's birthday special, just for the heck of it.

So yeah. Happy Birthday, Kyle-hah. Much love.

* * *

Sanji's Cupcakes. 

Holiday Special/Filler - "Halloweenie and Much Ado About a Marshmallow"

* * *

Lera, Sarah, Sanji, Zoro, Captain Joshu Wa Gorgy, Marshmallow Kyle, Emily-ly, Captain Ben-ho Ross, and Tracey had all gathered to go trick-or-treating. In other words, they were storming people's houses and taking their candy. 

They island they were at was an Autumn island. They didn't really remember the name, or did it matter. All they knew was that it was Halloween there and it was time for some flippin' candy.

Lera and Sarah cheerfully led the group. Lera was dressed as a ninja, complete with a pointy straw hat, and her katanas strapped to her back. Sarah, after an hour-long romp through the Costume store of the town, had finally settled on going as banana. Slung over their backs were bags filled with candy and food.

Emily-ly, Marshmallow Kyle, and Captain Gorgy were tromping along behind them. Emily-ly was bedecked in random, un-matching clothes. Kyle was a hobo, and Joshu had refused to dress up at all or even collect candy. He was simply there for the heck of it.

Behind them was Tracey the kitty and Ben-ho Ross. His costume wasn't easily understandable, but he was carrying around a big plastic hammer, which was all that matters. Finally, bringing up the back was Zoro and Sanji, who claimed that they were acting as rear-guard for the group. Sarah and Lera had been very adamant about them dressing up as well, and they did so, grudgingly. Sanji, to match Sarah, was in a giant strawberry suit. Strawberry-banana. Haha. Zoro, on the other hand, was going as Rock Lee from Naruto, eyebrows, leg-warmers, and bowl-haircut included.

Another reason the two guys were in the back was because Lera and Sarah couldn't stop giggling when they were around.

So the night continued, the whole crowd of 'em wandering about, gathering candy, terrorizing hobos, and the like. Their festivities were just coming to a close. Lera and Sarah were stumbling about tiredly, now, weighed down by immense bags of their loot. Lera's pointy hat had been stolen by Joshu Wa Gorgy, and Sarah resembled a droopy banana.

Captain Ben-ho was now wielding Lera's katanas, while Tracey was calmly floating along beside him, supported by Terry, Prat, and Chet, her three toaster minions.

They had wandered into the rather abandoned part of town. Emily-ly looked about shiftily. ".. isn't it kinda dark? What if where are dead people here? Doing dead people stuff? Like… eating… spinach…?"

"… I eat zombies for breakfast." Gorgy stated carelessly, shrugging.

Marshmallow Kyle was quick to retaliate. "Your MOM eats zombies for breakfast."

The argument would have gone on, if not for Lera and Sarah tripped simultaneously into a huge pot-hole in the middle of the street. They crashed, face first, into the first road, but managed not to spill their candy. Lera raised her bag in triumph. "Hah! I saved them!"

Her voice was muffled due to the fact that her face was squashed into the road, as was Sarah's.

Zoro rolled his eyes, walking forward to tug Lera up onto her feet. She sniffed noisily, then it became obvious that she had gotten a bloody nose from her fall.

Sanji, who was helping Sarah up with utmost care, gasped in horror to see scratches on Sarah's face. He danced around her in earnest, looking very comical. "My dear Sarah-chan banana! Your beautiful visage looks even more stunning with those red lines of blood adorning your skin!"

"… dumbasses." Captain Gorgy rolled his eyes, looking at the two sheepish girls.

"OI!" Lera said angrily, then sniffed again as another spurt of blood burst from her nose. "Gah, damnit…" She angrily moved to squeeze the bridge of her nose, stopping the flow before she became a faucet of blood.

"Ow.." Sarah said grimly, using her sleeve to wipe away the blood from her scratches.

Emily-ly caught up with the group, having fallen behind with Ben-ho and Tracey, but she made her presence known with a very loud shriek. "Oh my god! Are they dead? Are they zombies now? Did the dead people get them?"

"Fine.." Lera muttered, waving a bloody hand at her, causing Emily-ly to scream again. Marshmallow Kyle squelched forward, his marshmallow suit looking a tad worse for wear.

"Bloooodddd….. mehhh…" He groaned, his eyes looking glazed.

"Kyle." Gorgy said bluntly, smacking him lightly against the head.

"Huh? Oh." Blinking, Marshy Kyle hurriedly snarfed down a multitude of candy to cover up for his strange behavior. There was no hiding it from everyone else, though.

Zoro stared. "Uh…"

"What was that?" Sanji raised an eyebrow, still holding Sarah steady, even though she was perfectly fine.

Marshy Kyle scowled briefly, swallowing his snickers and twix. "… a vampire bit my marshmallow."

Emily-ly was quick to freak out again, stumbling away from Marshmallow Kyle. Ben-ho Ross grinned. "Cool!"

"I'm usually fine, though. It's just on Autumn islands that it gets really worse."

Gorgy blinked. "I never knew you were a vampire."

"Well, I'm not, my marshmallow is. It's a long story." Kyle scuffed the ground with his feet, flushing.

After a great deal of uncharacteristic silence, Tracey finally spoke up, walking forward as her three toaster minions disappeared. "We have time, go ahead and tell us."

"Oh godsh.. thish ish gonna be a frashback, ishn't it?" said Lera, blood dripping from her fingers.

_Woosh.

* * *

_

On the dear little island of Stay Puft lived a large colony of Marshmallow villagers. They lived happily, prancing about the Puff-Puff hills and skipping through the Squishy valleys and the sandy Sugary dunes. All was happy and giddy and delightful, for life was good and delicious. The children were scrumptious and the adults only got better with age. The wild marshmallow suits roamed the countryside, eating babies.

Dear little Kyle was soon to come of age. His old mini marshmallow suit, colored a bright green, was growing a bit small. His mother, teary-eyed, stated that it was time for her little 'mallow to get a large marshmallow. As his father set of proudly to catch Kyle's new suit, Kyle himself went wobbling outside to go visit his pet rock.

"Sparky? Where are you, Sparky?" He called out in his cute, 10-year-old voice. There was a thud somewhere to the left. "Sparky?"

A boulder rumbled out from behind a bush, looking rather sullen that it had been discovered.

"Sparky! There you are, you silly rock! C'mon, let's go to Marshmallow Fluff river and have some fun! It'll be spiffy!"

"… _spiffy? You did not just say that." Sarah smirked. "You sound like a gaywad."_

"… _shut up! I'm telling a story, ok?"_

Kyle and Sparky weren't at the river long when his father came running out to him.

"Kyle, have you seen a stray marshmallow run by?"

"… marshmallow, dad? Do you mean, my marshmallow?" Kyle asked excitedly, standing. Sparky stopped bouncing eagerly in the fluff river to look at Kyle's parent.

"Yeah, he escaped me, but he should be somewhere close by…." He looked around worriedly.

"I'll catch him! Don't worry Dad, I'll be back soon! C'mon, Sparky!"

Laughing, the boulder-pet thing and Kyle skipped through the Creamy Forest of 'Mallow. Wild marshmallows were not common here, so it would be easy to find the escaped edible suit. Sure enough, within minutes, Kyle spotted the white puff of goodness grazing in a clearing. "Get it, Sparky!"

With a low rumble, the boulder pounced forward, jumping onto the marshmallow. It was easer than expected. With a gentle puff of air, the wild 'mallow deflated under the weight of the rock. "Yes! Sweet! Adulthood, here I come!"

Kyle dashed forward, pulling out the suit from underneath Sparky. Holding out before him, he grinned and held it up against himself to see if it fit. It did. But then the marshmallow twitched in annoyance and two holes appeared on the surface.

"Oh, gee willickers, what is that?" Kyle said breathlessly, running a finger over the two indents.

_Lera snorted, splattering more blood around. "… gee willickers?"_

"_My god, shut up! Stop interrupting me!"_

"… _sorry."_

The marshmallow suit twitched. Kyle could only blink. "But this looks like vampire holes… we don't have vampires here… unless…"

He never got to finish his train of thought, as his suit suddenly reared up and clamped it's marshmallow-y jaws around Kyle's head, snarfing him down. There was a hiss, a pop, a screech, a ka-pow, and a ba_zing_boo, before Kyle finally fell forward, wobbling about briefly.

His mini lime-green marshmallow suit had been eaten by his new marshmallow suit, which he now sported. He looked very manly and handsome in it. The essence of marshmallow maturity.

"… _you? Manly? HAHAHAH!" Ben-ho laughed loudly, but was silenced after a glower from Marshy Kyle._

"Look, Sparky! Don't I look dandy?" Kyle posed for his pet rock, which rumbled approval.

He grinned, and then blinked. He had a sudden urge for raw meat and blood. This was strange, considering that Marshmallow people's diets consisted of sugary goodness. At least 3 helpings a day was the rule.

Kyle looked down angrily at his manly suit. "So you _have_ been bitten, haven't you?"

The suit said nothing.

"Well, damnit. I guess… I'll need to find blood. And since there's no blood or meat on this island… I guess I'll have to leave. Bye, Sparky." With a glum wave, Kyle randomly left his island, leaving behind his worldly possessions. On the plus side, he did gain a rad "YAOI" tattoo, and he grew out of his gaywad vocabulary.

* * *

Joshu Wa Gorgy snickered. "… wow. So that's your whole dramatic history of why you're thirsting for blood right now?" 

"… um, yeah."

Lera sniffed loudly, wiping her face and hands with one of Zoro's spare bandanas. "Waste of time."

"I want to go back to the ship." Sarah said with a shrug, slinging her sack of candy over her shoulder.

Ben-ho nodded with Tracey. "Yeah, we need to get going too."

Sniff. "See you guys later, 'kay?" Lera waved over her shoulder at the rest of the group. The Straw Hats went one way, Tracey and Ben-ho disappeaered on the spot, and the Gangster Crew turned around and walked out of the alley.

"… I feel like playing with my Wii." Gorgy remarked offhandedly, scratching his head.

Kyle hopped about eagerly. "Dude! Me too!"

Emily-ly could only stare at Kyle, pointing an accusing finger at him. "… you left Sparky? How could you? Not dandy, Kyle! Not dandy at all!"

* * *

S'the best I could do, Kyle. I promise, next summer? I'll write you a better one :D 


	24. Less than Three

Chyahh. It's thanksgiving and I'm bored to death. I spent a little while musing over just how much of this story we have to go and how many characters I need to kill off. (not really, just a bad habit of mine :D)

There's the conclusion of this arc and the travel to the next island.

The next island. One or two chapters, at best.

Maaaybbeee a Christmas filler. 'Cause… I won't be finished before next year.

And then the final arc, which will be at least 5 chapters, I think. So really, less than 10 chapters left? Thank god -.-… this fic is really going downhill xD

After this is done, I will, of course, start on the sequel. Which will be better, fo sho. And I also have another, more serious sort of fic that I want to start up. Wiv dragons. Bahaha. Not to mention that my poor, poor Escaflowne fics have been untouched for such a long time. Ah well. One thing at a time.

Onto the chapter! I want to watch One Piece episode 287 and read chapter 436! YOSH!

**Note: I do not own Snakes on a Plane, One Piece, marshmallows, or a Wii. But I wish I did.

* * *

**

Sanji's Cupcakes

Chapter 19 - "Less than Three"

* * *

Last time on Sanji's Cupcakes…

So much happened it could fill a teacup the size of your face.

Nami, Luffy, and Ramoney confronted Otis and the FNF were discussed.

Zoro and Sanji acted as babysitters.

Meanwhile, the Gangster Crew was invaded by the SOAP ship!

The tension is so thick you could cut it with Sanji's eyebrow!

* * *

"We have to build a barrier between us and the snakes!"

The situation was a tad problematic. Thousands of snakes were swarming _The Crow 2 Yo, Bish_ and there didn't seem to be any way to get rid of them. Kyle was rushing around with bags of marshmallows, helping everyone to build a wall and keep the snakes away for a short while. The whole crew had barricaded themselves in Gorgy's office, but the safe haven wouldn't last long. Snakes were already managing to slither through the wall and ceiling.

The marshmallow wall, for sure, would not hold up for long, but it was the best idea anyone had had in the past 30 minutes. Emily-ly and Larissa were screaming in the corner, while Mike was laughing at them. Gorgy and Kyle worked to keep the slithery serpents surrounding the sector from sneaking inside and silencing their souls. Ssss.

Opium, on the other hand, seemed to have developed a taste for snake and was consuming as fast as he could, moogrunting in-between bites.

The whole thing was really rather bleak, but there was nothing else anyone could do.

"We're going to die!" Emily-ly wailed, eating more m&m cookies to deal with the trauma.

"We're not gonna die, ok?" Captain Joshu had almost finished the marshmallow wall when an immense python crashed through the floor, knocking him down. Marshy Kyle yelled in horror, jumping away from Gorgy, who was overwhelmed by the overgrown snake.

Shaking his blue hair out of his eyes, the Captain struggled to sit up when the python clamped its jaws onto Gorgy's head, struggling to engulf the entire skull. The occupants of the room began screaming at the top of their lungs, convinced that Joshu Wa Gorgy was about to die, but the Captain was not called Captain fer nuthin', yo! As Marshy Kyle stumbled away, attempting to hide in his marshmallow suit, the storm outside increased to tremendous proportions, the rain slamming against the poor pirate ship and sweeping the invading serpents off of the deck.

First Mate Emily-ly pointed at the snake, her eyes wide. "OH my god! Joshu has a snake hat on! SNAKE HAT!"

With a tremendous heave and a grunt of exertion, Gorgy grabbed the demon snake's head between his hands and pushed. It worked, the python was shoved away from his precious cranium, but the animal managed to snag almost all of Gorgy's hair in its departure. His tears watered with pain, which only served to fuel Joshu's rage. Grabbing the Icky Stick nearby and stabbing it into the snake's skull, right between the eyes, Captain Gorgy rid the room of a living animal. Emily-ly let out another wail.

Breathing slowly, the nearly bald captain stood, running his hand over his head. Meanwhile, the python writhed away to die in a poor corner, the bastard.

"J-Joshu… your hair…" Kyle said hesitantly, pointing at it.

Joshu shot a glare in his direction. "What about it?"

Only the bangs remained now of Captain Joshu Wa Gorgy's artistic, and somewhat gay hair. It was a dull red, stained from the blood, while the rest of his head was covered in a sort of ragged dark brown fuzz. The rest of the Gangster Crew began laughing hysterically, the urgent snake situation forgotten for the moment.

Larissa was holding her sides, tears running down her face. "Y-y-you look so… hahaha, STUPID!"

"Grrr…." Eyes narrowed, the humiliated Gorgy, drew himself up and went to withdraw the blood Icky Stick from the now dead snake hat. That's when the Marshmallow wall collapsed.

Hundreds of snakes flopped into the room, silencing the laughter. Emily and Larissa stood, screaming and kicking away at the animals. Mike danced. Kyle body-slammed. Chaos… chaosed.

Dance, scream, kick, slammidy-slam, dancety-dance, pirouette, wooshity, kerpow, boing, zing, AHHH!

Joshu, however, had had enough. And now was _really_ the time to bring the smack down, fo' realz.

"That's IT! I HAVE _HAD _IT… WITH THESE MOTHA FUCKIN' SNAKES ON MY MOTHA FUCKIN' SHIP! FUCKING BASTARDS!" Our ever lovable, foul-mouthed Captain had emerged once more. Drawing out a flame-thrower from hell knows where, putting on a maniacal grin and laughing like a mad-man, Gorgy went on a rampage, torching any living, wiggly thing in site. Just like Strongbad.

Emily-ly stood slowly, staring at the charred doorway and Gorgy's retreating back. "… what the heck was that?"

"I think he went insane." Larissa stated in an awed voice, blinking.

"Woah." Kyle and Mike said simultaneously.

"Moo-grunt." said Opium, not looking too worried as he shuffled about, eating up the snakes. He preferred them well-done, anyway.

And so, the Gangster Crew sailed out the storm. Captain Gorgy made flambéed snakes to his hearts delight, and everyone lived happily ever after.

At least, until the next chapter.

* * *

Meanwhile, our not-to-be-forgotten heroes were still quite occupied on the Island of Natsuko. Ramoney ran at breakneck speed through the forest, laughing hysterically, while Nami screamed not far behind. Luffy was bounding through the trees. His laughs were even louder than Ramoney Baloney's. The trio was, in fact, being chased by Otis' soldiers. Rather than stopping to fight, they decided instead on sprinting back to the Going Merry for reinforcements. Luffy probably could've handled them no problem, but he had refused since Nami hadn't allowed him steal some meat.

So they ran, rather briskly, through the forest. It was quite a lovely afternoon and I daresay that a cup of tea would've done them some good. Mmm. Yes. Jolly good indeed.

Unbeknownst to the three Straw Hats was that they were actually running in circles, and their screaming/laughing only served to confuse the silly, common soldiers. In no time whatsoever, the whole bunch of them became hopelessly lost.

"Woah! Hold on!" Nami yelled suddenly. Ramoney and Luffy stopped in their tracks, waiting for the navigator to catch up. "If you guys haven't noticed, we're in the middle of a forest and we don't know where we're going!"

"I'm on it!" Ramoney said, jumping up into the branches of a large tree, and, humming loudly to herself, she crept up to the top to get the view. As she stretched out, her bologna wobbling out precariously on her head, she unexpectedly lost her balance and came tumbling back down to the ground. Amidst Luffy's raucous laughter, Nami helped Baloney up.

"So? Did you see the Going Merry?" Nami demanded, frowning, but Ramoney only giggled and wobbled about dizzily.

"... Ramoney... Ramoney? RAMONEY!" Getting instantly fangry, the orange-haired girl lifted her Clima Tact as if to hit the other.

"WOAH-HO.. ly tea biscuits, don't hit me!" Ramoney gibbered, blinking away her confusion and throwing up her arms in defense. "I saw it! We just have to keep going straight and we'll be there, in, like, five minutes! I swear, yo!"

With a sudden giggle and twirl, Ramoney was gone, skipping away in the direction of the Going Merry. Luffy was quick to follow, and Nami wasn't too eager to stay behind, either.

* * *

Zoro and Sanji exchanged collective sighs, watching the two little girls splash and play in the shallows of the warm ocean water. Both Sarah and Lera had demanded to go for a "spwashie" and spwashie they did. Nami wouldn't be pleased with how her spare clothes got soaked with salt water, but there was nothing the two guys could do about that.

The little Ler-hah had also demanded that Zoro play music. Not willing to put up with another crying fit, the swordsman had faithfully retrieved Lera's spare cd player and speakers and now the girl's happy techno music was blasting, along with the giggles and splashes. Becky's "Less than Three" remix, that is.

**"Here I am online again.  
Stay up and wait for your IM  
A cyber-date boy, here I am,  
I'm waiting just for you!" **

Sanji was currently supervising the girls, silently smoking a much needed cigarette, while Zoro napped in the warm sand. Sarah, tired with splashing, wobbled over to the love-cook, her dripping arms extended and an adorable, happy look on her face.

"Sanji-kun!" Sarah had finally started to produce coherent words, the first of which being Sanji's name.

**"E-cards, chats and mail direct (That's right)  
Just a click and we'll connect (Oh yeah)  
You're so funny, here we go! (Here we go!)  
R-O-F-L-M-A-O!" **

With a chuckle, Sanji put out his smoke just in time when Sar-hah stumbled into his arms, nuzzling his shirt and giggling, all the while drenching him in ocean water.

"Sarah-chwan!" Sanji crooned, tickling the two-year old so that her giggles turned into very loud giggles.

Usopp lurked back on the ship, nursing a scorched bottom. He had learned his lesson when he had tried to play with the little girls. Sarah had spurted out a bolt of lightning at the poor long-nose, and the water, to his misfortune, only conducted and expanded the power of the Shock-Shock fruit's power. The girls had only giggled while he howled in pain, running about the beach, clutching at his butt.

Lera, still hopping about in the shallows, was enjoying herself immensely and bobbing her head so fiercely to the music that her two cute braids bounced about almost erratically.

**"Less than three, you love me!  
Typing out my fantasy.  
Meet me here on IRC  
L-O-L-O-L!" **

"ZOWO PINEAPPLEZ ZOMGHAZZORZZ 1337 ftw n00b 0wn4g3!" She squealed, jumping and flying to the snoozing swordsman. With a loud thump, she had plummeted into his stomach, driving all the possible wind out of him.

**  
"Less than three, O-M-G!  
Love computer fantasy.  
Meet me here on IRC!  
L-O-L-O-L!" **

His eyes widened in surprise as he lifted his head, wheezing from loss of breath. There she was, smiling innocently and dripping all over his white shirt, an adorable little Ler-hah. "Zoro-kuuuun!"

He scowled darkly, propping himself up on his elbows as he regarded the infant seated comfortable on his stomach. "Annoying little twerp."

In response, she stuck her tongue out impudently and continuing bouncing her head along with the music.

**"Comic sans and Arial.  
Forward jokes; hysterical.  
Blinking .gifs that bounce and glow,  
Your web page is so cute-cu-cu-cute-cute!" **

As hard as Zoro tried to hide his grin, he couldn't help himself and soon fully sat up, smirking. Lera danced off of him, twirling about on the sand and looking comical, but in a very adowable sort of way. As she performed a rather complicated hop-twirl, she tripped and fell on her face. Sar-hah, perking up at the sight of Lera, escaped Sanji's tickling hold and, squeaking excitedly, ran out to join her two-year old friend in the sandy space between the two guys. Without helping Lera up, Sar-hah began dancing around her.

**"E-cards, chats and mail direct (That's right)  
Just a click and we'll connect (Oh yeah)  
You're so funny, here we go! (Here we go!)  
R-O-F-L-M-A-O!" **

"WAHHHHHHHHHHH!" There was a crash and a body skidded onto the sand, spraying the stuff everywhere. "Who's having a dance party without me?"

Ramoney Baloney beamed as Sanji and Zoro spit the sand out of their mouths.

**"Less than three, you love me!  
Typing out my fantasy.  
Meet me here on IRC  
L-O-L-O-L!" **

Nami and Luffy soon came running after her, just as the song died down. Sarah, in response to Ramoney's sudden appearance, had fallen over in shock. It was no surprise that Lera was already asleep in the sand. Ramoney continued to jam out.

"How did it go, Nami-san?" Sanji brushed the powdery stuff from his hair impatiently as Sarah began to doze off as well.

With a triumphant grin, Nami raised the potion bottle. "Got it! We'll have Lera and Sarah back in a snap!"

"Jiffy." Sarah piped up sleepily, rolling over. A soft snore began issuing from her in minutes.

Zoro watched Luffy prance through the ocean water for a moment before looking at the two girls. "Might as well give it to them now, while they're asleep."

The group held their breath as Nami poured equal amount of the potion into the slumbering toddlers' mouths. Typical that, for a few seconds, nothing happened.

Nami frowned. "Well, tha-" She was cut off when a sudden pop issued from the two girls and thick purple smoke appeared around the Straw Hats.

Sanji sat still, lighting another cigarette. "Well, that's unusual."

"Figures." Zoro muttered, frowning at the smoke as Ramoney danced around in it, singing at the top of her lungs and attempting to swallow some of the hazy fog.

"Sanji-kun, can I have some more strawberries with that?" A voice filtered through the smoke, sounding half-asleep and muffled.

Then came a sound of a sneeze and in a thick gust of wind, the smoke was gone to reveal the two girls, back to their original ages, and dressed like Nami. The two were still asleep. Sarah was murmuring in her sleep, while next to her, Ler-hah sniffled and looked like she was sick again.

Luffy and Ramoney ran up to the cured girls. "They're back to normal! YAY!"

Together, the pair of them can-caned all the way back to the Going Merry. Nami rolled her eyes. "Zoro, Sanji, can you carry them back to the ship? Thanks." With a wave, the navigator left too.

For the umpteenths time that day, the guys exchanged grim looks. "Why do we always get stuck with these things?"

"Hell if I know, marimo."

Sighing, Zoro picked up the slumbering Lera and Sanji did likewise with Sarah. While they had been tempted to throw the girls over their shoulders like sacks of potatoes, they opted instead to carry the girls bridal-style. It was only the gentleman thing to do, Sanji had added.

"Shut it, dart-board eyebrow. I'm just glad this is over."

"Heh, yeah, no more being called pineapple for you, lettuce head."

"Baka… and no more peanut butter for you."

"You're just jealous."

"Of what, being named after a food product?"

"Better than being called a fruit."

"… are you calling me a fruit?"

"Maybe I am!"

* * *

And so, this damn arc finally comes to an end.

Huzzah.

Sarah, I swear, if you don't review this one, _your soul is mine._

Review thanks… only two… -sob-

**Kyle- **Aw, thanks, I love you too. Glad you liked your chapter.

**MKLlim**- Why, yes, I read your story. The one with Mel and Ace, right? Gahh, but I fell out of the whole fanfiction thing in the summer and I fell behind. That was a spiffy fic, though. Thanks for liking my fic-ness, I am filled with adoration-ness for your … commentness. Ness ness ness.


	25. Japanting!

So, like, what...? The last time I updated was in... November? Haha. Ouch.

But I update once more, as you can see! Haven't given up on this silly fic yet.

Other than that, I don't really have much to say. No more fillers, too. I'm done with those. So sorry to everyone who... was owed a filler? Eh.

WOOOOOOOOOOO! OTAKON 2007!

* * *

Sanji's Cupcakes

Chapter 20 - "Japanting, whut?"

* * *

Last time on Sanji's Cupcakes!

Snakes on a Plane, bish. Snakes on a Plane.

LESS THAN THREE, O-M-G!

Oh, and Lera and Sarah are back to normal now, kthx.

* * *

Nami had said that it would take another week or so to get to the next island. So the crew had settled in to do what they do best.

Lounge around and do absolutely nothing!

Luffy was perched happily on the ram's head of the Going Merry, peering around at the endless, blue ocean. Usopp sat nearby, waxing his sling-shot. Among other things... that freak.

Nami had settled into the Lounge, working on her map. Sanji was preparing lunch in the kitchen, humming under his breath as he passed a bowl to Sarah, who had volunteered to help.

Zoro slept under the mast, his swords crossed over his legs as in the usual way. Ramoney, meanwhile, was hanging upside down from the Crow's Nest, keeping a look-out. Occasionally, she would fall from her perch, landing solidly on Zoro before cheerfully running up the mast again. The swordsman, threatening to slash her to bits, would grumble as he went back to sleep.

Lera, having learned her lesson that sleeping on deck wasn't the safest thing to do, had buried herself into the bed into the girls' quarters, away from all the commotion.

Strangely enough, Lera had been sleeping almost non-stop since they departed from Natsuko Island. She had even slept through several meals the other day, which was beginning to worry some of the members.

"Are you sure she's ok?" Sanji asked Sarah, raising an eyebrow as he started into chopping up carrots.

Sarah shrugged, now back into her old clothes. "Lera's an anti-social poopaw. She always sleeps. She's probably just sick again."

Content with the answer, the blonde continued preparing soup for lunch. The next day, however, Lera had still refused to get up.

"Lera... c'mon, how long are you gonna sleep? Sanji spotted some whales, you should come see!" Sarah demanded angrily, sitting down on the edge of Lera's bed.

The thick huddle of blankets shifted slightly as the curly-haired girl poked her head out to blink at her friend. "Mph... go away... I feel like shit."

Sar-hah frowned in confusion, tempted to throw a clock at her again. "So are you sick again or what?"

With an annoyed grunt, Lera rolled over, away from Sarah. "Lemme sleep."

Sarah returned angrily to the deck, where the entire crew was watching huge whales circle around the ship. Usopp was eagerly looking around, having never seen whales before.

"Hey guys, we should do some whale calling! I myself patented it! See, you just do this..." He spread his legs apart and put his hands on his hips. "And yell this. WHAAA-AAALE! WHAA-ALLEEE! SPERM WHAAAA-AAALE!"

"That's a great idea, Usopp!" Luffy said eagerly, joining in the whale calling. "WHAAA-AAALE! WHAAA-AAAALE!"

Looking rather dubious, the rest of the Straw Hats went into the position.

"WHAAAAAA-AAAAALE! WHAAA-AAALE!"

In the end, the whales were so disturbed that they decided to migrate to the East Blue instead, hoping to avoid any more freak pirates.

A few hours later, however, Lera had yet to show her face on deck, whale-calling and all. Even Zoro had noticed her absence. Sanji was the first, however, to take action. Summoning Luffy, he thrust a streaming mug of brown liquid into the rubber-boy's hands.

"Here, take this to Lera-chwan. It's tea, it might wake her up. And if you actually don't spill anything, I'll let you have seconds tonight."

"SUGOI!" Eager for extra food, Luffy sprinted off as carefully as he could, holding the full mug directly in front of him. His cheerful whooping could be heard throughout the entire ship.

In seconds, the captain had made it to Lera's bed and beamed happily, raising the mug in triumph. He had managed not to spill a drop... yet. "Lera! Sanji made you this tea! It'll make you wake up! You have to drink it!"

The cocoon of blankets didn't even move. From somewhere within, Lera grunted something like "Go to hell with your tea." Luffy, however, was not to be deterred. His raised his voice, yelling now.

"YOU HAVE TO DRINK YOUR TEA, LERA!"

Finally, a reaction. An arm poked out of the cocoon, reaching out for the tea. Luffy, shocked that yelling had even worked, could only watch in amazement as the hand stretched one finger out to rest it on the brim of the mug.

A sudden hot, wet warmth spread through his feet. Lera's arm retreated back into the blankets with another grunt. Still, the heat continued to increase in his toes. Looking down, the rubber man first noticed that the mug was tilted to the side and was now empty. The second thing was that the entire contents of the scalding hot tea... had been poured onto his sandaled feet.

With a painful shriek, Luffy fled the room, screaming about the agony and the burning sensation as he ran about the ship. Another day passed. Lera- 1, The Crew- 0.

The fourth day of the journey proved to be even more distressing. That morning, Sarah didn't get up, either, but continued sleeping in.

Sanji, of course, was devastated. "OH NO! SARAH-SWAN!"

The navigator was also less than pleased. "What's wrong with those two? Maybe it's the fact that they're devil-fruit users?"

"NO WAY! I FEEL AWESOME!" Luffy protested. Sanji and Nami turned to look at him, but the captain had already fallen to the floor of the kitchen, snoring.

Thus, the three devil-fruit users of the Going Merry fell under a weird sleep. Sarah and Lera slept away in the girls' room, while Luffy had been tossed into the guys' quarters until a remedy could be found. Naturally, Nami decided to call the rest of the Straw Hats together for a meeting.

"I say we let them sleep." Zoro said indifferently, shrugging and looking rather irritated that he had been awoken from his own nap for this.

"HOW CAN YOU BE SO CRUEL, MARIMO? What if Lera-chwan and Sarah-swan never wake up?" Sanji, naturally, stood up, looking indignant as he pointed an accusing finger at the swordsman, who ignored him.

Nami propped her chin on her hand, frowning. "We're a few days away from the new island, maybe there'll be someone there to help us."

"NAMI-SWAN'S SO SMART!" Heart bubbles began cheerfully floating around the room.

Usopp finally spoke up, leaning back in his chair as he rubbed a finger across the bottom of his nose. Ew. "Has anyone seen Ramoney?"

The rest of the crew shrugged.

So, as agreed, the sleeping trio was left alone to sleep away the hours as the rest of the crew prepared to sail into the next island. Katashi Island.

Usopp frowned as Nami informed the guys of their destination. "Doesn't that mean 'firmness'?"

"... yes."

The rest of the conversation of Nami and Usopp talking about firmness was edited from this story.

Four whole days had passed since the meeting, and the Going Merry was now moored in at a makeshift pier on the island.

Standing at the railing, the navigator looked out at the huge expanse of trees, frowning. The island was supposed to be inhabited, but she didn't see anyone.

"So... where is everyone?" Sanji asked, scratching his head as he walking out of the kitchen to stand next to Nami.

Usopp was more than happy to provide the answer as he joined the growing line at the railing. "Maybe they all heard that the famous Captain Usopp was coming and they ran for their lives! Serves them right!"

"Or maybe heard that dart-board eyebrow here was coming and they went to hide their women." snorted Zoro from the mast, not bothering to get up.

"Or maybe... they heard that Sarah and Lera were coming and decided to throw a big party!"

"With dancing, multi-colored chocobos and hot yaoi men!"

Nami, Usopp, Sanji, and Zoro, blinking in confusion, turned around to see Lera and Sarah, grinning down at them as they leaned against the barrier on the second floor of the ship.

Sarah grinned, then yawned and stretched. "I think I'm done sleeping now."

"I dunno what you're talking about, I think I could use another nap about now..." mumbled Lera, smirking as she pulled on her sweatshirt. "... where'd Luffy get to? Wasn't he right behind us?"

"YOSH!"

Out of nowhere came a speeding ball of rubber-boyness. Ignoring the angry cries from the rest of the crew, Luffy sprinted across the deck and flew out into the ocean.

Nami was the first to start screaming, as usual. "NO! LUFFY! We're not in shallow water yet!"

"GOMU-GOMU NO-!" For some reason, his arms didn't stretch. Instead of flying out of the ship, he instead tripping and tumbled right into the deep ocean water. Fearing that perhaps the Captain had sunk himself and died, which wasn't surprising, the rest of the crew hurried over to peer over the banister and see what had happened.

Luffy wasn't dead. Oh no. He was _floating._

"Hey, look, guys! I'm not sinking! But for some reason, my gomu-gomu powers didn't work! Weird, huh?"

Nami didn't share Luffy's ecstatic mood. "Somehow, that doesn't sound good to me. You two!" She suddenly turned to the other two girls, who had been snickering as Luffy made an idiot of himself in the water below. "Lera, can you float? And what about you, Sarah? Can you summon up any shock-shock attacks."

Blinking slightly, Lera twitched slightly, attempting to rise up into the air, while Sarah was holding her hands out before her, trying to create some sort of electric energy.

"Well, shit." Sarah finally said, having produced nothing. She glanced over at Lera, who hadn't even risen an inch from the ground.

Lera sighed. "Our devil fruit powers are gone."

The two girls looked at each other, pondering, before punching the air with their fists. "LET'S GO SWIMMING! WOO!"

Still cheering, Sar-hah and Ler-hah jumped from the ship into the water. Cue face-palms all around.

Leaving the three to their own devices, Nami steered the ship closer to the island before the rest headed down to the beach. The devil-fruit users had already beaten them there and were in the middle of a serious session of stuffing sand down Luffy's pants.

Sanji lit himself a cigarette, glancing around at the tropical forest before them. "So what now?"

"Now..." Nami said, pulling out a map. "We go check out the island and see if there's anyone living here."

Zoro remained silent, watching Lera and Sarah intently, scowling slightly. "I don't like this."

The blonde chef walked past the swordsman coolly. "No one asked for your opinion, marimo face."

"WHAT DID YOU SAY?"

"_We are Fighting Dreamers, takami wo mezashite..."_

Lera frowned, looking up from her pile of sand. "Do you guys hear something?"

"_Fighting Dreamers, narifuri kamawazu..."_

In response, Sarah wrinkled her nose slightly. "Is that japanting? Sounds kinda familiar..."

"Oh no..."

"**Right here Right now (Bang!)"**

In a sudden burst of music and roaring, a huge robot burst out of the forest, running right at the Mugiwaras.

"OH MY GOD! WHY ARE THERE TRANSFORMERS ON THIS ISLAND?"

"MORE IMPORTANTLY, WHY IS IT PLAYING NARUTARD MUSIC?"

To be continued, like your face!


	26. More Narutardation!

KH II Final Mix+, with Roxas's fight with Sora and the scene with Axel made me cry.

In other news, how about giving me a hand for updating quickly? Shweet. Yes, I will soon be putting this poor fic out of its misery. I have a lot more planned than this sort of thing. To be honest, I've really moved on from Sanji's Cupcakes. But for the sake of... well, mostly Sarah and myself, I've decided to end it with a bang. This will be the last chapter for Katashi Island. Then about... I dunno, 3-5 chapters of the last island, the final showdowns, and the final chapter.

Will I have a sequel? I don't know. Really. I was planning on it at one point, but by now, I'm starting to reconsider. I have another One Piece fic I'd rather start, another Kingdom Hearts fic, and two other Escaflowne fics. Not to mention that on my OTHER screenname, I have another Kingdom Hearts fic. So yeah. On my most important list, Sanji's Cupcakes is more or less at the bottom of it.

Eragon sucks.

* * *

Sanji's Cupcakes 

Chapter 21 - "More Narutardation!"

* * *

"... is that Optimus Prime?" Lera asked weakly, looking up at the gigantic mecha towering over them, which had shuddered to a halt just seconds before. The Naruto music has apparently been put on pause as well. 

"Welcome... to Firmness Island. Erhr erhr erhr!"

Sarah frowned, staring up into the metallic face of the transformer. "Did that transformer just, like, cough at us?"

A smirk slid onto Lera's face, all slippery, like a cheetah. "Oh, is that what it was? I thought it had something stuck in its throat or something." Snickering, she folded her arms across her chest.

"Nonsense!" Optimus Prime spoke again before its head expelled some steam and the face plate began to open outwards.

Luffy gaped at the mecha. "Woah!"

A black and red blur suddenly slammed into the Straw Hat pirate with a yell of "Grand Impact!" Luffy toppled over with a squawk as the rest of the pirate crew turned to stare at the newcomer.

A man with flaming red hair carefully stepped over Luffy, fixing his Italian suit slowly. He turned his green eyes on the Mugiwara Crew, appearing to be somewhat bored by the whole affair. "Like I said... welcome to Firmness Island. I... am James Andrew, the Intolerable. But, uh... you can just call me James. Lovely weather today, isn't it?"

While Lera and Sarah looked around to actually see if the weather was lovely, Nami stalked forward, grabbing James by the front of his suit. "Insert stupid Nami threat"

Luffy giggled dizzily underneath James, who gazed lazily into Nami's angry scowl. "Judging by your body language, I'd say you have a bit of a weakness for your friend there."

"Well, of course, we all do! He's our nakama _and_ our captain!"

James blinked at her for another moment before chuckling again. "Your hair is very orange."

"Oh yeah? Well, you have a huge lump in your shirt!" Sarah interrupted, pointing at the very obvious hump in James's suit while Sanji went to go help Luffy up from the sand. The Captain almost instantly recovered from the attack and ran to face James and see the lump for himself.

"It's... my gun." James Andrew said slowly, tugging out a large handgun from the shirt which was too ridiculous to be taken seriously.

Lera immediately began laughing. "Dude, what kind of a gun is that? It looks like a rocket launcher."

"Woah, look at Luffy!" Sarah suddenly said, pointing at the rubber boy. There was a thick bruise on the boy's chest in the shape of a shoe print. The crew looked over at James, who had only turned to look at Luffy with the faintest hint of interest.

Zoro frowned. "What're your shoes made of, stone?"

"Yes, actually. Sea-stone" James replied mildly, shoving his gun back into his shirt.

"CEMENT SHOES!" Sar-hah and Ler-hah screamed before bursting into giggles, smirking at The Intolerable.

"Erhr erhr erhr..." James laughed slightly, shaking his head. For someone who appeared human, having someone likes James simply appear on Firmness island, inside a transformer, blasting Naruto music, no less, was probably up in the weirdo lists, right with the Bat people. Things. With Christmas colored eyes and hair, a suit with a rather pregnant bulge and cement shoes... what more can we say? "Now, you're probably wonder-"

Out of nowhere, there was shrill squeal and Optimus Prime jerked back into wakefulness and started to dance around. "What kind of music is this? Your mix sucks!" The transformer complained in what just so happened to be Ramoney Baloney's voice.

"Fighting Dreamers" skipped to "Rewrite", then to "Strong and Strike", all Narutard music, until finally, to a fast and too up-beat techno song sung so swiftly in Japanese that its lyrics were undecipherable. Except by Ramoney, who instantly began to sing along.

Nami blinked up at the prancing mecha, not looking too surprised, as James casually pulled out a book, seemingly out of nowhere, and began to read. "Ramoney's still here, then, is she?"

The marimo-haired swordsman beside her snorted softly. "I thought she left."

Without warning, Optimus Prime ballet-twirled into the jungley forest and hopped away, Ramoney's maniacal laughter echoing out of the metal robot. Not even looking up from whatever he was reading, James turned and headed off into the forest after his transformer. Luffy, eager to catch up to the dancing robot, instantly followed.

"This island is just full of weirdos, isn't it?" Lera muttered, raising an eyebrow as Optimus Prime performed a pirouette in the distance.

Sarah shrugged. "Better than the bat people things, right?"

The blonde love-cook was inclined to agree, but, as he lit up another cigarette and adjusted his tie, he couldn't help up but add, "Or Ben-ho and his ... 'crew.'"

With a collective sigh, the rest of the Straw Hats started off into the depths of Firmness Island.

* * *

"I still say we're lost." Larissa insisted, rolling her eyes as she lounged on the deck of the _Crow 2 Yo, Bish_. She was boredly flicking through the newest Maximum Ride book, which wasn't even due out for another two months. 

"And I still say you should shut the fuck up." Joshu Wa Gorgy replied, sulking by the mast of the ship. After their rather interesting adventure with the snakes, Captain Gorgy had not been in the best of moods. Most of his hair was gone, except for his bangs, which now were only long enough to fall annoyingly into his eyes. Flicking away the bleached mess, Joshu looked over at Marshmallow Kyle. The suit-wearing youngster had occupied himself with rewriting "YAOI" in large capital letters onto his marshmallow. After the incident, the word had faded slightly.

Nate, of course, was busy helping him. Except he's dead, so never mind.

Emily-ly, the infamous first mate of Joshu Wa Gorgy, snickered dizzily from the corner of the deck, where she had lit about ten entire boxes of incense. "Wee..."

"So where are we going, anyway?" Larissa finally asked, closing her book with a soft snap.

Joshu grunted, pulling his Icky Stick out of nowhere and beginning to twirl it like a baton. "Wherever the winds take us."

"Also known as, we're totally lost and you have no idea where we're going. Great." With a sigh, the ship's medic stood, contemplating on maybe getting something to eat.

At that exact moment, Mike tumbled onto the deck from seemingly nowhere at all. He had, in fact, been sitting on top of the mast, acting like an idiot. "Hey guys, guess what?"

Marshy Kyle looked up briefly. "What?"

"It's raining cats and dogs! Literally!" Mike laughed hysterically, pointing to the poodle that plummeted from the ground to crash onto Joshu's head.

Meanwhile, somewhere in an alternate universe, Ben-ho Ross began laughing hysterically. "HAH! Take that, One Piece land!"

"Ben-ho!" Tracey snapped, unpushing the mysterious little button on the control panel. Terry smacked himself into the captain.

The former DoomDOOMDoom leader, Kyle, and Tracey had taken a wrong turn somewhere in their anime journeying. It had started with Ben-ho attempting to try and eat the magical transporting watch again. Tracey then began screaming at him to spit it out and it ended with Kyle blabbering something in gibberish/Spanish and throwing a well aimed quarter at the back of Ross's head. The watch went flying. Almost in slow motion, the red object slammed down onto the deck and the entire ship was enveloped in a bright pink light.

And then they ended up in a strange, official looking room with a bunch of buttons and screens. With a great deal of eager experimenting, Ben-ho had realized that this was the control room of every anime possible. Thirsty for revenge against ...well, anyone, he flipped through the animes until he reached One Piece. And spotted Joshu Wa Gorgy.

"But I wanted to make it rain cats and dogs!" Ben-ho protested, pouting slightly.

Kyle sidled forward and pushed another button. "What's this do?"

Back in One Piece land, the entire flippin' _ocean_ disappeared. There was a brief, comical silence as the _Crow 2 Yo, Bish_ hung in the air. Then the screaming started. And the falling. We can't forget the falling.

"HOLY SHIT!" Joshu cursed loudly, clutching to the mast as the rest of his crew began freaking out. Barring Emily-ly, who was too high off incense to do anything.

"KYLE!" Tracey, outraged, unpushed that hazardous button as well. The ocean returned with a soft pop, catching the _Crow 2 Yo, Bish_ before it met its crashy-ouchie death. Behind her back, Ben-ho silently pointed and laughed at Kyle before sneaking around his girlfriend to poke at yet another button. The temptation, after all, was too powerful to resist.

"OH my god, what the fuck is wrong with the world?" Joshu screamed, looking around wildly and helplessly flailing his arms. His hands had turned into bananas.

Kyle blinked, having already recovered from the brief "OMG IMA FALL TO MEH DEATH" thing. He wiggled his banana fingers and grinned. "Wow."

"Woahh..." Emily-ly gasped, staring in awe at her own hands.

"Ben-ho, I swear..." Tracey hissed, once again repairing the damage. She looked up at the screen, making sure that everything was in place again. That's when the magical floating fairies hit.

"KYLE!"

* * *

By now, our merry little heroes had settled into James's camp. It was really more of a huge open field with a vast tent set up in the center. It was surrounding by a mass of flying... well, flying... um... 

Ok, seriously, what the hell are those?

"They're flying camels and cabbages!" James informed the Going Merry crew, motioning at the hovering things.

Right. Flying camels and cabbages. At the same time, Ramoney had finally settled down and was now attempting to eat the sitting Optimus Prime.

"That's seriously weird." Sanji muttered, eyeing a rather curious vegetable that was approaching him.

Zoro looked just as pleased. He glowered up at a nearby camel. "One move and you're dead." The camel quickly retreated with a grunt.

"This is just as weird, as, like... Naruto." Lera smirked, placing her hands importantly onto her hips. Sarah quickly joined her.

"Let's assign parts! Um... Zoro, you can be Shikimaru!"

Lera grinned, looking around. "And, uh... Sanji can be Jiraiya! Luffy's Chouji!"

"And Nami can be Sakura! And Ramoney's... Rock Lee?"

"Haha, yeah! And Usopp can be Ino!" Lera laughed loudly, getting a mental image of Usopp in Ino clothes.

"Oo, I'll be Sasuke Uchi-cha-cha!" Purposely mispronouncing the name, Sarah threw her hair over her eyes and took on a sullen look. "I'm emo. Go die, Naruto, even though I secretly love you like omghax. Hn. I hate Itachi."

"I'll be Naruto!" Lera hurriedly tied her hair up in a ponytail right on top of her head and pulled out one of Zoro's spare headbands that she secretly always kept with her. Tying it around her forehead, she immediately began grinning and hopping about. "LET'S GO EAT SOME RAMEN DATTEBAYO!"

"Hn."

Zoro and Sanji exchanged glances, having never heard of Naruto, then slowly began dragging off the two girls to where Luffy and Nami had gone to converse with James Andrew.

"I'M GONNA BE HOKAGE DATTEBAYO!" Lera screamed, her arms flailing wildly.

"Hn." Sarah kept her eyes to the ground as she sulked forward into the tent.

Nami raised an eyebrow as the group approached. "What's wrong with them?" The cook and the swordsman shrugged as they sat down at a table. Luffy blinked as Lera grinned as widely as she could at him before returning the smile.

James casually looked up from the book he was reading. "I think they're quoting Naruto."

"BELIEVE IT!"

"Hn."

An incredulous silence passed before James Andrew shut his book with a soft snap and cleared his throat. "So anyway. You all must be wondering why your devil fruit powers are gone?"

Luffy nodded eagerly. "Yeah! Do you know why?"

"DATTEBAYO! SUGOI! ICHIRAKU'S RAMEN! HEY SASUKE, LET'S MAKE OUT!" Lera continued to screech, her spiked up hair flying about.

Sarah didn't look up. She was too busy writing down emo poems. "... Hn. Dobe."

"TEME!"

James cleared his throat again. "Then let me start. You all passed through a border when you came close to this island. You can't see it from here, but Firmness Island is quite close to another that will, for now, remain mysteriously nameless. The barrier was creating specifically to steal away devil fruit powers. You can get them back at the next island."

".. new mission already? I was just getting used to doing nothing..." Nami sighed gloomily while Luffy jumped up.

"WHO? Who stole our powers?" The straw-hat demanded, standing now.

"NANI?"

"Hn."

"A person who will for now remain mysteriously unnamed so that everyone will be enshrouded in mystery until you reach the next Unnamed Island." James replied simply, looking over at the Captain through half-open eyes. "And if you're going to ask why, I'll say that the reason will remain mysteriously unexplained for now."

"So how do we get to the island?" Nami asked the first sensible question.

"Just continue going east. Your Log post should have already reset itself the second you set foot on Firmness Island so you can leave as soon as you feel fit... however..." There was a sudden glint in James's eyes. "You have to take me with you."

Zoro's features instantly changed from a frown... to another frown. "And why should we do that?"

"Because I'm the only one who knows how to get onto that island." James replied slowly, leaning back in his chair.

"RAMEN!"

"Shut up, dobe."

Sanji regarded James thoughtfully before standing. "Alright. C'mon, let's go. We need to hurry and get Lera-chan's, Sarah-san's, and Luffy's powers back before we get attacked again."

For the first time, a bright grin spread on James's face as he stood as well. "Seriously? Alright! Let's go! Erhr erhr erhr"

As the group hurriedly exited the tent, they were met with Ramoney, who had tamed a flying camel and was currently doing loop-de-loops with it, her bright parachute pants flapping in the wind. "Hey guys, look what I can do!"

Nami led the way into the forest. "We're leaving, Ramoney!"

"Oh! Ok! C'mon, Babushka!" Ramoney Baloney happily urged the rather grumpy looking camel forward.

"LOOK, SASUKE! A GROUCHY CAMEL, JUST LIKE YOU!"

"Hn."

As soon as the Mugiwaras and James returned to the Going Merry, they were met with a cross-eyed and deeply disturbed Usopp.

"You guys won't believe what happened to the ocean... and my hands..."

"... DATTEBAYO?"

* * *

This chapter is a result of Lera watching too much Naruto today and just being lazy overall, but determined to update and get the crew off the damn island. Thank you very much and have a nice day, dattebayo.


	27. The End

This fic needs to be put to rest. But that will only happen when I finish it. I refuse to leave it hanging! I'm beyond caring how many reviews this thing gets. It just needs to END.

* * *

Sanji's Cupcakes 

Chapter 22 - "The End of Everything and Nothing. Or maybe just your face."

* * *

"What the hell are you doing?" 

"Para-PARA!"

"_Yeahhhhhhhhh-ren, Soran. Soran, soran, soran, soran. Hoi hoi, nyah nyah!"_

Sarah immediately stopped the music as soon as the cat noises started. Lera, Ramoney, and James stopped as well, blinking. Lera took a deep breath, exhausted from her para-para-ing. "What'd you do that for?"

"You were hopping around and making 'nyah' noises. It was getting embarrassing." Sarah explained, raising an eyebrow.

"Hey, I'm bored! We still have an hour until we reach the next island, according to James!" protested Lera, going over to start the cd player again, her chucks skidding along the slippery deck of the ship as she did so.

They had just emerged from a slightly rough storm, but now most of the crew members had hurried outside again. Zoro was napping up in the Crow's Nest, while Sanji leaned against the railing on the second floor of the ship, smoking. Nami was still cooped up in the Lounge, and Sarah, until a few moments ago, had been intent on doodling something in her notebook. That's when the techno music got louder and after hearing the same song repeat continuously over the span of an hour, Sar-hah's self-control practically exploded.

"You can only para-para for so long! Haven't they already learned all the steps?"

James and Ramoney exchanged looks, shrugging, while Lera flicked the music player on again. "Almost. They're kinda slow. If you don't want to listen anymore, go have Sanji cook you something... or I can teach you the steps!"

Looking doubtfully at the hopeful look Lera had, Sarah sighed and joined the line on deck. "Let's get this overwith."

"WOO!"

_"Yeahhhhhhhhh-ren, Soran. Soran, soran, soran, soran. Hoi hoi, nyah nyah!"_

* * *

The _Crow 2, Yo, Bish_ was approaching an island. A mysterious island, as it so happened, that was ruled by a mysteriously unnamed person. Joshu regarded the island with a frown, looking up from his irish punk CD collection. Marshy Kyle wobbled over to stand next to him and look out at the island. 

"... what the hell is that?"

Captain Joshu Wa Gorgy shrugged noncommittally. "Hell if I know. Oi, Emily-ly, what island is that?"

Awakened with a grunt from Opium, the first mate stirred from her incense-induced delusional state. "Huh, what?"

"What _island_ is that?" Joshu repeated, venom dripping from his voice as one of his eyes twitched with annoyance.

"Mehh..." Emily-ly tugged a spare map out of her bag of poisonous frogs. Wiping off the strangely glowing goo that came from the amphibians, she flicked open the paper. "Mysteriously Unnamed Island."

Marshy Kyle snickered, leaving to go give a heads up to Larissa and Mike that they were coming to an island soon. Gorgy merely shook his head.

"Someone please shoot me."

"Hahaha..." Emily-ly laughed dizzily, pointing a cookie at the captain, before tumbling back down into a slightly comatose state.

"Alright, fine, whatever." Gorgy coughed. "Let's head out to that thing. We've gonna fuck it up."

Larissa poked her head out from the Crow's Nest. "And... why are we going to fuck it up?"

"'Cause I said so." Joshu replied with a smirk, leaning against the railing.

Mike piped in with a cheery yell. "Because we're the Gangster Crew!"

"Yay, I love yaoi!" Nate joined in on the conversation as well, arms flailing.

Larissa raised an eyebrow. "Aren't you dead?"

"... oh yeah. J-K, guys."

* * *

And as tempting as it would be to just end the story here... alas, this author cannot. On with the chapter, let's end this thing. 

So now, both of our heroes, good and somewhat misbehaving, were heading towards the same Mysterious Island! Oh, the tantalizing suspense.

Lera leaned out as far as she could from the railing to peer out at the approaching island. Her para-para class was slumped on the floor behind her, panting and worn out. In fact, Lera had pushed them so hard that James Andrew had collapsed and died. Ever efficient, Ramoney had proceeded to dance with his corpse briefly before tossing his body overboard.

Sorry, James Andrew. We will miss your cough/laugh.

But not really.

Out of them, Sarah seemed the least tired. Mayhap because Sanji had insisted on stopping the lessons every fifteen minutes so that Sar-hah would taste different samples of a cupcake mix her was experimenting with.

In any case, back to the matter at hand... Lera looked up at Luffy, who was now perched on his Ram's Head, gazing out excitedly at the new island.

"I think this island's called Mysteriously Unnamed Island."

Nami, just in time, had wandered out on deck. "How to you know? Technically, this island's not even supposed to exist."

"We just passed a sign that says so."

Simultaneously, all the crew members on deck turned their heads to see a buoy, equipped with a large sign that said, "Mysteriously Unnamed Island. Population: Who Cares?" Pleasant.

As the Going Merry got closer to the strange island, it became quite obvious why it boasted such a strange title. Along with dark clouds hovering endlessly over it, MUI itself, as we shall now call it, was black in color. Most of the terrain was flat, revealing a tall castle nestled in the center.

Sarah joined Lera at the railing. "Well, that's cool."

"Chyeah." Lera smirked, rocking back and forth on her heels.

"Hey!" Usopp sprang up to stand alongside the two girls, squinting out at MUI. "Isn't that the Gangster Crew's ship?"

Indeed, the familiar looking ship was docked nearby. The _Crow 2 Yo, Bish_ itself was empty, except... not. A single person was guarding it, sitting on the railing and boredly swinging his or her legs.

"I'd recognize that ship anywhere!" proclaimed Usopp, pointing at it.

"Who cares?" Awakened by the ruckus, Zoro yawned from his position up in the Crow's Nest. Sliding easily down the mast, he stumped over to the growing group. "We're not here to attack them. We're here to get back everyone's devil fruit powers."

"Heck yes!" Ler-hah and Sar-hah shouted.

"So shut up, Penis-nose." Sarah couldn't help but add, sticking her tongue out at the sharpshooter.

Moments later, the Mugiwaras were coming to shore. Lera and Luffy, now fearless because of their lost ability to sink like a stone, leapt out into the dark waters first, dashing up the small beach to the ground level. It didn't take long for a hoard of bad guys to jump out at them and attack.

Because, y'know, obviously, there are automatic bad guys dispensers on this island.

Lera snorted, impatiently drawing her swords. "Didn't take long for the bastards to come out and fight. For the final island sort of scenario, it's already getting kinda predictable."

While the rest of the crew attempted to catch up to the pair, Luffy leapt into the swarm, arms and legs flailing as he tried to make up for his lost Gum-Gum powers by just beating shit out of everything.

"My god, Lera, couldn't you have waited?" Sarah shouted, hiding behind Sanji while the cook kicked everything graciously out of the way for her. The brunette observed the enemies closely, eyebrows rising as she realized what exactly what was attacking.

Zombie ninjas. Very ugly, half decomposed... zombie ninjas.

Figures.

Useless in the fight without her devil fruit powers, Sarah was practically helpless. She was stuck with Sanji for the moment, relying on him for protection. Luckily, Lera was still able to do some major ass-kicking. Zoro was quick to join the group as well, leaving Nami, Usopp, and Ramoney Baloney to guard the ship.

"So, uh..." Lera grunted, slashing through another group of zombie ninjas. "Is it just me, or are they multiplying?"

Sarah regarded the attacking enemies. "I think you're right."

"We're overpowered." Zoro stood back to back with Lera as they continued to fight off the hoard. "There's too many."

Luffy had somehow already made it to the castle, screaming about how he demanded that his devil fruit powers be returned.

And just when things were at their worst... the author pulled a deus ex machina on 'em.

"ATTACK! YOU GUYS GO ON AHEAD, YOU'RE LOSERS ANYWAY!"

"That voice sounds familiar..." Sanji said slowly, looking around.

Lera didn't even need to look. "... it's Joshu Wa Gorgy."

Indeed, the Gangster Crew had somehow decided to rush in and save the day. Punching, picking, biting, poking, and occasionally licking away at the zombie ninjas, they managed to open up a path up to the mysterious castle.

"Go!" Marshy Kyle wobbled past. "Hurry up!"

Lera, Sarah, Zoro, and Sanji needed no further urging. There was no time to stop and ask for questions or even have a cup of tea and perhaps a plate of crumpets. It was time for some major ass-kicking! Yelling wildly, arms and limbs flailing, the group of four gave chase after their Captain, leaving behind the Gangster Crew to the mercy of the strange, unexplained zombie ninjas.

But we're getting to that.

"... why couldn't I go along?" Ramoney Baloney whined, hopping from one foot to another as she looked out at the grim-faced Usopp and Nami. The three were left now to guard the Going Merry. Out on the island, the vicious battle continued, but the Mugiwaras paid no mind to that.

The navigator spoke first, her words level as she brought her Clima Tact down with a soft clunk of metal against wood. "Cut the crap, Ramoney. You can stop pretending."

A flicker of something passed through the bolog-na girl's eyes, but she kept up the exasperated smile. "What are you talking about, Nami? There isn't any crap around here to cut."

Usopp didn't seem to be in the loop on that. Spluttering with indignation, he looked from one girl's face to the other, confused. Was Nami implying that Ramoney had been up to something this entire time? That she was a traitor? The idea wasn't all that outrageous. She wasn't part of the crew. Simply a traveler, just like Lera and Sarah.

... but a traitor?

"Nami, what are you talking about?" Usopp asked, fingering his slingshot nervously in case he needed it. "What'd Ramoney-"

He didn't get a chance to finish. The orange-haired girl was quick to interrupt because she was getting angrier at the forced smile on Baloney's face. "Remember when Luffy, Sarah, and Lera wouldn't get up? Well, Ramoney _disappeared_ then. Because she lost her own devil fruit powers!" She hissed.

Usopp fell silent and Ramoney finally dropped the act, seeing as her secret had been put out into the open so quickly. Her sweet smile slipped into a wide smirk. "Except unlike those three, I got my powers back. MUE controls everything here, just like he controls your trio's powers that he stole."

"... MUE?" Usopp, despite his horror and sudden extreme fear of finding out that the hyper, spazzy girl was now the enemy, couldn't help but ask.

Ramoney unhurriedly rolled up the sleeves of her shirt, then realized that she had no long sleeves and instead pulled up her parachute pants a few inches. "Mysteriously Unnamed Enemy."

A pattern emerges.

With a determined look about her, Nami stared Ramoney down with a dark expression. "We're not going to let you get away."

"I really don't think I need your permission, kthx. And who said I was trying to get away? I have succeeded where the others did not. I lured you here. Now all I need to do is eliminate you two without any worries."

Hoping to buy some time as Usopp looked about wildly for a way to get out of the situation, Nami bit her lip. "What others?"

She was answered with a soft, but still quite evil and maniacal laugh. "Ah, yes, I forgot that you didn't know! Well, we're all a part of the F.N.F. Short for Fierce Ninja Force. And our leader, finding out that people from other dimensions were infiltrating into our world, decided to do the noble thing... and kill them off. Can't have strangers lurking about in One Piece, now, can we?" At this point, her smirk widened to show her clenched teeth. "Lera and Sarah were to be the first, as they had somehow managed to acquire devil fruit powers on their journey here. As we speak, they are probably getting eliminated..."

Snickering at Nami's angry look, Ramoney continued. "We've been trying to get at them for ages. Ever since Totoro Island. Pa'n Cayke was supposed to stop you all from moving on and reaching the next island. His job was to actually capture the two girls and bring them here, but sadly, that damn Marines and Gangster Crew interfered with that plan. Not only that, but that blasted Tracey saved you as well!"

Ramoney chose this point to hiss and wave her fist angrily, but at the raised eyebrows from the two Straw Hats, she moved on.

"And then on Penguin Island, Garske was meant to stop you as well. There, the idiotic Andyroo distracted him so much that he failed there as well. Finally, I was placed into Ben-ho Ross's crew to bring you down, but the fools of anime travelers got in my way! Our last resort was to bring you to Natsuko, where we had planted Nomac to incapacitate the two girls, but that Otis... grrr..."

Nami and Usopp exchanged glances of alarm. So many times that they were in danger, and yet they were oblivious this whole time? "Th-that can't be right, Ramoney Baloney. Garske and Pa'n Cayke wouldn't betray us..."

"Well, they up and did, no, didn't they? Oh, and by the way..." Ramoney snapped her fingers. A strobe light started working out of nowhere, along with an upbeat techno song as the girl plucked off her balog-na, dramatically chucking it away. "The name's Techno-Beat Ramona! Oh snap, bish!"

"I think now's a good time to run away, Nami." Usopp whispered loudly, overwhelmed by the music and flashing lights.

"Oh, you're not going to run away..." Ramona smiled widely as the techno music increased wildly. "It's time to bring the beat-down."

"Bring it, then!"

Usopp squawked in protest, not wanting any part in this as Nami brandished her weapon.

"It's on." Ramona said. That was all that needed to be said. With a loud revving of her parachute pants, she flew up into the air, twisting her body until she landed on the mast. Sideways. Crouching on it, she grinned.

"Ch..." Nami turned to face the girl. "A devil-fruit user..."

"Sticky-sticky fruit." explained the FNF user with a laugh. Her body flashed briefly. "Now I can stick to anything, anywhere... I'm totally about to pwn you."

Unbeknownst to anyone, Usopp was sneaking away. Strangely enough... it wasn't to run out of the situation. He had a plan.

With a high-pitched giggle, Techno-beat Ramona suddenly launched from the mast, direction at Nami. Which looked really cool with the strobe-light. Grimly, the navigator lifted her Clima Tact to block the punch from the girl, but she had a surprise coming her way.

As the attack was blocked, the staff was wrenched out of Nami's hands because it was attached directly to the other girl's clenched fist. With a deft movement, Ramona lashed out with her newly acquired weapon.

Eyes now wide, Nami scurried off out of range of the weapon. At least the enemy didn't know how to actually use the Clima Tact, but she seemed to know how to weild it well enough as a simple staff.

"Usopp, where the hell did you go?" The orange-haired teen shrieked as she sprinted across the deck, Ramona on her tail.

"HAH! C APTAIN USOPP SAVES THE DAY!"

It all happened in a flash, but with the strobe light, it didn't really seem that way. Usopp leapt out of the shadows, a large piece of spare sail in his hands, stretched out. As soon as Nami had run past him, he jumped forward to tackle Ramona and wrap her firmly in the cloth. And unfortunately for Ramona, the tackle that brought her down was so violent that it knocked her out. Her devil-fruit powers now rampant in her unconscious state, the stickiness factor kept the sail plastered to her firmly as dry glue.

Nami looked down at the mass of sail and passed out girl. "... good job, Usopp."

"No problem, dear Nami! All in a days work for Captain Usopp!"

"... what should we do with her?"

The pair stared down at the girl as the techno music and strobe lights died out. They looked at each other briefly, then at an empty barrel.

Two and two make four. And passed out Ramona plus empty barrel makes: let's squish her into a barrel and toss her overboard.

So at least on the Going Merry, the day was saved. The duo watched as the barrel floated off, not realizing what kind of pandemonium was still being caused inside of the castle of MUI.

* * *

"... where'd Sanji and Zoro go?" Sarah looked around blankly, scratching her head. 

Lera looked just as bewildered, hands on her hips. "Weren't they right behind us?"

The two were in the bowels of the dark castle. Somehow, the group of four had become a group of two, and Ler-hah and Sar-hah were lost. The corridors were long and colored bright pink, but at least there weren't any zombie ninjas walking around yet. They seemed to have all been herded outside to attack, and the Gangster Crew was busy taking care of _that._

And now, the girls just realized that they had lost Zoro and Sanji. Pausing at an intersection between two hallways, they peered down each one.

"We can't go back to look for them. We just need to keep going. Which one, do you think?" Lera peered down the left hallway with a dubious expression, already quite disgusted with the pink walls. The corridor appeared to be empty, but there was a strange light at the far end of it. Sarah's hallway, on the other hand, was angled to the right and looked the same as the rest of the halls they had gone down.

"I dunno, that left looks pretty good." frowned Sarah, moving from the right hallways to Lera's side. The two of them stared down into the hallway, not looking too pleased.

Ler-hah sighed. "Y'know, for a whole... final island, big showdown thing, I'm feeling a bit disappointed."

"... oh, shut up."

With an impatient shrug, Sarah finally made up her mind and headed down the left hall. Lera hurriedly followed, hand resting on her sword hilts. They walked quickly, getting closer and closer to the strange light.

As they continued to walk, they could begin to hear music in the background. Sarah wrinkled her nose as she listened, still walking. "You hear that?"

"... it sounds familiar." Lera nodded, looking around to see if she could spot the source of the music.

"... wait! Is that... Believe?"

"Holy crap, I think it is!"

The girls broke into a run, heading swiftly to the light at the end of the hall. Indeed, it was the cheery tune of "Believe," One Piece's second opening theme. It took a few more moments of frantic sprinting, but Sarah and Lera finally made it to the end of the hall, bursting through the bubble of light.

They were in for a disappointment.

It was a wide hall, painted in ridiculous patterns of pink, purple, yellow, and blue. And "Believe" was still playing loudly. Except...

"Wait, hold on! This isn't Believe!" Sar-hah gasped, turning in place to look around.

"It's Dreamin' of You! The English para-para version!"

"NUUUUUUUU!"

That was when the strange effects of walking through the bubble of light started to take effect. At first, it was subtle. Lera and Sarah's heads began to bob gently to the music... then their hips swayed in time to the beat... then all hell broke loose as their arms and legs, moving by themselves, broke into a perfect para-para routine.

"What the hell is going on?" They cried simultaneously, looking horrified as the evil of the music made their dancing more difficult.

"**My heart is dancing so good,  
I keep on dreaming of you.  
The dream is taking me higher, this is true."  
**

The song continued through two more choruses as the girls grew more tired and irritated with the entire situation.

"Ok..." Lera panted, continuously stepping side to side, "This is getting a little ridiculous. It's obvious that the bad guy's are doing this, but seriously, why?"

"I don't know!" answered Sarah irritably, going into a spin. "I just wish they'd freakin' stop."

"**My world's alive 'cause I'm dreaming of you,  
Everything's shi-"**

"GOMU-GOMU NO... BAZOOKA!"

Out of nowhere, Luffy came bursting out from the wall, having demolished it with his attack. The song grinded to a halt and the girls tiredly sank to the floor, taking in deep breaths.

"Thanks, Luffy." Lera wiped the sweat from her brow, chest heaving.

Luffy waved it off, smiling. "I was looking all over for you guys! I found our devil fruit powers, they're in the other room! I'm gonna go look for the big bad guy now, I'll see you later!"

With a wave, the rubber boy ran out from the atrociously colored room, leaving Sarah and Lera to scramble to their feet again and stumble through the hole Luffy made leading into the parallel room. The walls were black and there were no lights. The only source of light was coming from the two sphereshovering in the middle of the room.

One was occasionally letting out sparks, while the other appeared to be made of wind.

"... are those our... devil fruit powers?"

"Looks like it."

The two girls approached the orbs, eyeing them. Lera was the first to stretch out a hand, but Sarah smacked at it.

"What're you doing? Don't touch it!"

Lera stared at her friend. "What? I want my powers back, and I'm pretty sure that to do so, I need to _touch_ it, Sarah."

Without waiting for an answer, the dual swordswoman reached out to plunge her hand completely into the swirling orb of wind. There was a brief flash, lighting up her face, before the orb appeared to compress, then absorb into her. Then came silence, and it became a little darker in the room as one of the two sources of light disappeared.

Blinking, Sarah poked her companion. "You ok?"

"I, uh... think so..." Lera looked herself over, then, taking a deep breath, she floated effortlessly into the air. "I got my powers back! Hurry up and stick your hand in, Sarah, we need to get going."

With a nudge from Lera, Sarah grabbed her own devil fruit orb with both hands. A similar reaction occurred, with a soft buzzing of electricity. The entire room went dark, even Sarah's sparking hands eventually fading.

Lera spoke first. "Um."

"... what now?"

There was a dull thud, then all of the lights that had been in the room flickered into life. Sarah and Lera only managed to exchange wide-eyed looks before two fierce winds blasted them away from each other. Lera tumbled through one doorway, Sarah through the other.

Quite ominously, the doors clanged shut behind them, leaving the girls to the mercy of whatever was in the rooms that they had been dragged into.

* * *

The infamous swordsman, Roronoa Zoro... was lost. 

"I think I'm lost." Zoro muttered, scowling as he looked around the dark corridor. Everything had been perfectly fine while he and Sanji had been running beside Lera and Sarah, but the girls had taken a turn, and then another, and before he knew it, the entire group was gone, leaving Zoro on his own. And now he had undoubtedly gone astray. To say the least.

"Yesss, I do think you're lost, too."

Zoro grunted, body freezing as his eyes darted around in their sockets, trying to find the source of the voice. If only it wasn't so damn dark in the hall... But he managed to spot the enemy. Glowering at the pair of red glowing eyes, he drew his swords. "Reveal yourself."

"Don't recognize me?"

Pa'n Cayke dropped from ceiling, where he had been perched. Baring his sharp little teeth, the bat person spread his wings, walking forward. "I'm afraid I can't let you go on any farther to help your friends. Your battle's with me."

Eyeing the foolish young bat, Zoro only smirked, sliding his last two swords back into their sheaths. "Since you're unarmed, I guess I won't need those."

"Don't underestimate me, human!" Panny hissed, red eyes flashing.

Five minutes later, Zoro wiped his sword of bat blood. Pa'n Cayke lay in a pathetic little pile in the middle of the dark hall, defeated. It had only been a simple matter to smack the back of his sword against the bat's head and knock him out. Rolling his eyes at the waste of time, the swordsman moved on to the next hall, hoping that he'd somehow soon find one of his crew members.

* * *

"Sarah-swannnn! Lera-chwannn!" Sanji called, running along and looking through each branching off hallway as he looked for the two girls. How could they have possibly gotten separated? He had been keeping such a close eye on them, too! 

Hell, even Marimo had managed to wander off somewhere. He was completely alone.

... or maybe not.

Skidding to a halt, the cook listened hard. Yes, there was no doubting it. Someone was following him, and not every subtle. Every step the mysterious stalker took sounded like something soft was being smacked against the floor.

"... the hell?" Lighting himself another cigarette, the blonde waited for the enemy to draw closer. The slapping sounds got louder... and louder... whoever it was, they were getting near...

It didn't take too long. "Hah, I've got you now!"

It would've been all too dramatic... if not for the fact that the enemy... was Garske, the talking penguin from Penguin Island.

Sanji looked nonplussed. "The hell?" He repeated, raising an eyebrow down at the penguin.

Garske flopped his stubby wings in triumph. "You will not go any farther; I will defeat you here, curly eyebrow!"

"... are you kidding me?"

"I am not! With my devil fruit powers, I will overcome you! Hah!" With a furious little waddle, the penguin straightened himself, then began to grow. And expand. And get bigger. His devil fruit power... allowed him to change sizes.

Sanji slowly raised his head higher and higher as the penguin grew to outrageous proportions. So now he was reduced to fighting giant birds? A little ridiculous, to say the least, but if he had to...

With a sigh, the cook raised a foot, preparing to knock the enemy out in one blow. "Furanshie-"

"GARSKE! _THERE _YOU ARE!"

With a great entrance of giggling, squealing, and leaping, Andyroo, king of Penguin Island, came flying out of nowhere to latch onto Garske's massive head. Nuzzling the soft skin, the red-head beamed, "I've been looking everywhere for you! Ever since you left Penguin Island, my life has been a empty hole of emptiness! Wahh!"

The huge penguin's eye twitched briefly and he was about to swat the king impatiently from his head, but Andyroo had something else in mind. Sliding down to the floor, he grabbed Garske's flipper and began dragging him off, looking like it took him no effort at all to drag off the animal that looked like it weighed a ton.

Sanji was left to watch as Garske was bodily tugged away, squawking and cursing angrily. The cook shrugged, turning on his heel. He had been things to do, like, finding two girls.

"Sarah-swannn! Lera-swannn!"

* * *

And it seemed that melodramatic fights that ended way too prematurely for their own good were all over the place. 

"... that wasn't so hard."

"Oh yeah? Who'd you have to fight?"

"... Nomac. Y'know, he has this funky speed-speed fruit think. Took me forever to beat him." Lera ran a lazy hand through her hair, leaning back on the wall against which she was sitting.

Sarah looked up from where she was laying down "Nomac? I got freakin' Carl!"

The other girl blinked, staring down at her friend. "That guy from the beginning? Who you hit while we were stealing clothes?"

"That's the one." Sarah wrinkled her nose in distaste. "He had the Ryuu-Ryuu fruit."

"Meaning?"

"He had a freakin' flamethrower, and when he used his powers, he turned into a dragon. I only beat him 'cause there was water on the floor and I electrocuted him. How'd you get Nomac?"

"Eh. I kinda freaked out and threw my sword at him. It just managed to clip him, but he tripped, so I hit him until he stopped moving." Lera beamed, sighing contentedly. "Of course, my leg is totally screwed up, so I can't move."

"Yeah, well, my feet got totally burnt. I'm gonna have scarring. Where the hell is Sanji? I need someone to carry me back..."

The girls fell silent briefly. They were now resting back in the chamber where they had gotten their powers back, and they were alone.

"Sarah-swannn!"

Sarah looked up. "Sanji?"

"Yo, Lera? Where the hell are you?"

"And Zoro?" grinned Lera, looking around. The friends looked at each other before lifting their head.

"YOU GUYS! WE'RE OVER HERE!"

"HURRY UP!"

Another voice joined the mix. "HEY! GUESS WHO I BEAT?"

"Luffy?"

The three males came torpedoing into the room. Luffy through the wall, and Zoro and Sanji through an actual door.

"Sanji!"

"Sarah-swan!"

"Zoro!"

"Lera!"

"Luffy?"

"You guys!"

"Lera?"

"Sarah?"

"... potato?"

The five walked out of the castle. Sarah and Lera were riding piggy-back on their respectful guys, and Luffy was bouncing on ahead of them.

"Yo, Luffy." Sanji nodded towards the rubber boy. "So who was the leader, after all?"

"Dunno! He never told me his name!"

"... figures."

"Well, that sucked." Lera gloomed, propping her chin on Zoro's head. "I have a bad feeling about this little adventure of ours, though."

"What do you mean, Lera?" Sarah looked over at her companion from Sanji's back.

"... I'll tell you later."

As the group passed the triumphant Gangster Crew, they all waved to each other.

"Thanks for the help!"

"No problem. Take care of yourselves."

Marshy Kyle, looting the bodies, looked up to bid the Straw Hats farewell before turning to Joshu Wa Gorgy, who was cleaning his bright yellow swashbuckler boots.

"So where to now, Gorgy?"

"No idea. But wherever we're going, we're totally gonna go and bust caps."

"Hell yes!"

And they lived happily ever after.

* * *

"It's time to go." Lera sighed to the crew, leg now thoroughly bandaged and her swords cleaned. The Mugiwaras looked shocked. 

"WHAT?"

Sarah was standing with them. "Yeah, what?"

"I mean it. It's time we go. This is too cliché for us to stay. Everyone hates OC's in One Piece fics, afterall."

"I suppose that's true. Then I guess... this is goodbye."

The pair walked to stand in the middle of the deck, grinning sheepishly. Lera laughed softly, slinging her bookbag over her shoulder. "We'll watch you guys back home."

"Yeah, I'm sure we've missed at least 100 episodes since we've been gone."

The Crew looked confused. "Episodes?"

"Eh hehe... nevermind."

"Anyway..."

Smiling brightly, Ler-hah and Sar-hah ran forward to hug their favorite characters. Sarah buried her face in Sanji's chest. "I'll miss you, Sanji! Try to keep that cupcake recipe handy if I ever come back!"

"I'll always keep it with me, Sarah-swan! I just wish you didn't have to go!" Sanji sniffled, tears leaking from his heart eye.

Even Lera mustered enough nerve to jump up and glomp Zoro, who looked slightly frightened by the action. "Take care, Zoro. Be sure to train so that when I come back, I'll totally kick your ass."

"I could say the same thing, Lera." smirked the Marimo, finally returning the hug.

Luffy, Nami, and Usopp all watched, near crying, too.

A blue light suddenly surrounded the four in the middle of the Going Merry. Instantly, Lera and Sarah began to float up gently. Lera blinked as the force pulled her gently away from the swordsman. "Woah, it's like Escaflowne!"

"I wouldn't know, Ler-hah, I only watched the episodes with Dilandau and his burn moment…" Sarah yelled, trying to keep a tight hold on Sanji, but eventually getting pulled away, too.

"BYE ZORO!"

"BYE SANJI! I LOVE YOUUUUUU!"

The light was too strong, though. The girls were tugged up harder, away from Zoro and Sanji. As Lera and Sarah floated up, they waved to everyone.

"BYE LUFFY! BYE NAMI! BYE USOPP!" They even yelled, which was surprising.

"WE LOVE YOU, SANJI AND ZORO!" The two girls finally yelled together, waving furiously.

Zoro and Sanji stepped back to join the rest of their crew. They all waved to the girls, until the blue light sped them up into the sky, and they disappeared.

* * *

The two girls blinked, looking around at their surroundings. It was hard to believe, but they were back on Earth, in Lera's room. The rain storm outside had passed, and the computer monitor was blank. 

"Sarah… please tell me I'm not hallucinating and that we really are back home…"

"We're home, Lera…"

The two of them stood from where they had been sitting, which was the floor. The fact they were back in their usual clothes didn't pass through their minds. Lera glanced gloomily at her hips, where two plastic katanas hung, but said nothing. There was no need to say anything. One Piece land was gone. They were home.

Sarah went to poke the computer monitor. "Think we'll ever get back?"

Her friend, with a sigh, sat down on her bed, shrugging. "Who knows? I hope so…"

They lapsed back into silence, staring sadly at the computer screen. Already, they missed their newfound nakama. Sanji and Zoro most of all, of course.

It was then that a thought occurred to Sar-hah as she glanced at the clock. "Hey, One Piece is on!"

"YEAH!" Lera jumped up excitedly, grinning.

They ran off to the living room, turning the television on. As they sat back, grinning as their companions appeared on the screen, they started to sing softly.

_"I'm on fire, and now I think I'm ready… to bust a move… check it out, I'm rocking steady, go!"_

* * *

THE END!

* * *

I have no more to say. xD I'm just so glad I finished this. It's not even thoroughly proof-read. xD Oops. Excuse any totally blatant mistakes in this thing. 

I promised Sarah that it'd be done by Otakon. And it is. So there.

Couldn't you tell that the chapter slowly deteriorated in effort and it's... well-written-ness? Yeah. I rushed it, I won't deny it. I just wanted to finish it. I cut so many damn corners for this, it's not even funny.

But in any case. Sanji's Cupcakes has come to an end. Thank you, anyone and everyone, who read this and reviewed, or even just read this. This fic went on way too long xD It's so badly written, and I'll be the first to say it. But I didn't want to leave it hanging. So there ya go.

Thank ya, everyone. I'll see you around, yo.


End file.
